WAKKA'S MAGIC KETTLE
Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy. I wish I did, but I don't TT.TT
Okay, so I wrote this about 4 years ago now, wayyy back when I was like 11 years old. I can't remember where I got the idea from but I found it while I was cleaning out my external hard drive and it made me laugh so I thought I'd share it with you all.
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Sephiroth: (Teleports into Wakka's house) What the- where am I?
Wakka: Who are you ya?
Sephiroth: I am the great Sephiroth.
Wakka: Well that's news to me ya?
(A baby starts crying)
Wakka: Hey Vidina woke up a little early ya?
Sephiroth: Vidina?
Wakka: My son ya?
Sephiroth: Could you PLEASE stop saying ya all the time?
Wakka: Cant ya?
Lulu: (Walks in house) Oh no, Wakka got a friend, and his hair is weirder than Seymour's! WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO?!?
Seymour: Hey, I resent that.
Sephiroth: Yeah, me too.
Lulu: Seymour, you're dead sweetie.
Seymour: Oh yeah… back to the Farplane then! Byie!!!
Wakka: BYIE YA!!! (Waves)
Lulu: Hasn't Vidina woken up yet?
Wakka: Oh yeah ya? (Opens the kettle and takes out a baby)
Sephiroth: You keep your baby in a kettle?
Lulu: Of course, everything exciting happens in Wakka's kettle
Wakka: When I was off fighting Sin, the kettle was on the whole time ya?
Sephiroth: Right…
Yuna: (Skips in) Hello chums! What's happening today?
Tidus: (Pokes head out of Wakka's kettle) BLITZBALL PRACTICE!
Lulu: I told you everything exciting happens in Wakka's kettle.
Sephiroth: This is just too weird for me to handle. I'd take the fucking talking cat doll over this any day.
Paine: (Also pokes head out of Wakka's kettle) OH YA BIG NOOJ! (Points at Sephiroth)
Sephiroth: How many people are in that kettle?
Wakka: Well, there where six, including Vidina ya?
Lulu: Who's in there?
Yuna: Can we play charades to guess?
Wakka: No ya? Paine, Tidus, Baralai, Rikku and Gippal ya?
Tidus: Hey, I think LeBlanc is in here too!
Rikku: and Logos and Ormi!
Paine: Yes, it's a good life down here in Kettles Ville (Mouths) get me out of here.
Baralai: Hey! I know where Letty's been for the past week!
Letty: Hello.
Yuna: We thought you drowned at sea
Letty: No, I've been in Wakka's kettle the whole time!
Yuna: YAY! This calls for a celebration! Get the whole town together! For tonight we shall PARTY!!! (Runs out screaming)
Paine: (Gets out of kettle followed by Baralai, Tidus, LeBlanc, Logos, Ormi, Rikku and Gippal) We aren't actually gonna go to this party, remember Yuna's last party?
Gippal: All to well…
Rikku: It's flash back time!
Gippal: YAR!
Baralai: Just because you have an eye patch, it doesn't mean you're a pirate
Rikku: Where's the flash back?
Paine: It's there! (Grabs the flash back)
(Flash back)
Yuna: PARTY PARTY PARTY!!!
Nooj: Hey! A casino in Bevelle! I never would have guessed!
(Walks into casino)
Paine: He does know he hasn't got any money right?
Rikku: What could happen?
(A cloud of purple dust is seen)
Paine: Um, that?
Yuna: PARTY PARTY PARTYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
(A man walks out of the casino holding a Hamster)
Man: And stay out! Those who haven't got any money have to gamble their human existence and you lost! (Throws the hamster)
Hamster: (with Nooj's voice) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Baralai: I 'm assuming that's Nooj.
(End flash back)
Sephiroth: Um…
Rikku: And that's why we aren't going to Yuna's party!
Gippal: YAR!
Baralai: Shut up
Gippal: Yar… (looks hurt)
Lulu: Because Nooj was turned into a hamster out of his own idioticy?
Logos: I don't think idioticy is a real word, right Ormi?
Ormi: (is staring at Lulu's chest) Wha-?
Lulu: Insolent swine! (Casts Firaga on Ormi)
Ormi: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!! MY ARSE IS ON FIRE!!!
Rikku: (Starts singing) hey Mr Tambourine man…
Sephiroth: What's going on?
Baralai: No one ever knows…
Wakka: Ooh, the water boiled ya? (Pours hot water out of kettle into a cup)
Lulu: I told you everything exciting happened in Wakka's kettle
Sephiroth: …Screw this; I'm going back to Midgar.