When Curiosity Met Insanity

Written by Shironami Kane

Summery: Inspired by the Alice/Hatter art by Bri-chan on Deviantart. He finally had his cricket but Reggie is still the Hatter and when it comes to name selection for his newborn children things get a little mad.

Disclaimer: I do not own Alice or The Mad Hatter. The two versions of the characters are based on Bri-chan's version of the two who are, in turn based on the Disney take on "Alice in Wonderland." I hope you all enjoy my tribute to this cute pairing!

Reginald Leopold Theophilus (the Third) had been madly in love with Alice for a very long time now. Luckily for him after much wheedling, stalking, pulling and prodding she had finally conceded to go on an actual date with him. Followed soon after by another, then another. She then broke up with him when he 'accidentally' kissed her without a warning. But following that he convinced her to date him again.

Time flew by until it barely registered on Reggie's mind that he had actually ended up married to the bookish girl of his dreams. It wasn't until Alice was pregnant that he realized she had the potential to be even madder than himself, but putting that aside the day had come to witness the first day of the lives of his own child.

A sweet looking nurse came into the waiting room where Reggie was nervously standing on his head before she smiled and announced, "Congratulations Mr. Theophilus, Alice has just given birth to your son and your daughter follow me and I'll introduce them to you."

He managed to place his feet on the ground and followed the nurse wondering - briefly - if he should bring a rattle or a bottle filled with tea, or something to help his children decide that he was a likable father.

Two white wrapped bundles where handed to him and he nervously looked down at them. They where...cute... he supposed. A blond with his nose and a redhead with his lovely cricket's rhynoctic feature.

"Have you thought of names for them? Your wife is asleep but you should name them as soon as possible."

He tried to remember what Alice had mentioned but for the hat of him he could not recall. Hmm, he should name the boy after himself and the girl after his darling! That would surely make her happy!

"Give me this one's official name paper!" he cried out gesturing to his blond haired child first and the nurse handed him the official document and a lovely feathered quill that he paused to stare at fondly before he scratched out the name "Earl Gray Reginald Leopold Theophilus" in the golden colored ink. The nurse looked astonished.

"Sir! You can't seriously give that name to-"

Reggie silenced her with a wave of his hand and said, "Now, now! It's a fine name! Tea is nothing to be ashamed about!"

"That's not what I mean Mr. Theophilus! You can't name-"

"I can name my child how I please and my darling cricket will be pleased just as well!" The Hatter roared and the nurse sighted in frustration.

"Very well then. I suppose you want the other document?"

"Yes! Bring it over!" The next document was signed with a flourish as well and the golden ink shined revealing the name, "Darjeeling Alice Liddel Theophilus" for his carrot topped child.

"Sir I don't think you realize the mistake you're making-" The nurse prompted but Reggie silenced her once again with a wave of his hands.

"Enough! Process the documents! I will go and see my wife now!" Reggie proclaimed and gaily skipped down the hall where his cricket was sure to be resting.

Alice looked sweet and lovely as she sat back on her temporary bed and smiled when her hatter came bounding into the room. Her smile faded a little when he made his proclamation, "I have named our children my cricket!"

'I hope he didn't name them something silly,' Alice strained as she asked, "What names did you give them?"

"Our son has your hair and my dashing vasage and as such I have named him Earl Gray Reginald Leopold Theophilus! And as for our daughter she is a lovely red head but has your cheeks! I've named her Darjeeling Alice Liddel Theophilus!"

Alice was impressed. Despite the fact that her children had been named after tea they where nice sounding names. "You did a great job Reggie. I'm just glad that you didn't name them after tableware or something terrible like that."

"Nonsense, my cricket," Reggie said as he kissed her on the nose, "When it comes to my children I wouldn't make a silly mistake like that!"

"Mr and Mrs Theophilus?" The nurse called, "The documents have been processed. I now give you your daughter Earl Gray and your son Darjeeling."

The nurse gave Reggie a look as she handed him his daughter Earl and stiffly made her way out of the room after depositing Darjeeling in his mother's arms.

Alice glared very sharply at her husband, "You named our daughter EARL!?"

Reggie blushed and said, "It was the nose, cricket. I thought if we had a daughter she'd have your cute nose..."

"OUR SON IS NAMED DARJEELING-ALICE!!"

"A perfectly fine name for a young lad."

"You are completely MAD!"

"But you still love me?" He squeaked as he pouted and forced his eyes to sparkle innocently.

"When our son and daughter decide to hate you for naming them, don't come crying to me!" Alice growled as she clutched Darjeeling to herself and rocked him.

Reggie stared at little Earl in his arms and pouted. Earl. He would pour hot tea over any boy or girl who dared to tease his little angel. "Daddy loves you Earl. You're beautiful and if anyone else says anything different they speak LIES!"

Earl simply beamed up at him, eyes smiling even if her lips could not. The Theophilus family would be a happy one.

The End

A tribute to a fascinating couple. This is so how I imagine this family would turn out. I hope you all enjoyed it!