Moments
12:00 AM
9th January
Shut the door, turn the light off
I wanna be with you
I wanna feel your love
I wanna lay beside you
I cannot hide this even though I try
She wouldn't believe it. He was gone. After so much they'd been through. The one thing they had, was now torn apart, lost in the black dark void. She couldn't take the pain anymore. Her partner, friend, husband and the love of her life was taken away from her, all because of the damn case. She was trembling from head to toe. Her friends were trying to take her away from his body, lying cold and bloody on the floor. The conspirator behind her mother's murder had been caught. But why then did it feel like the world had just ended? Katherine Beckett (Castle) was clueless. She thought this was all a trick and that he's appear out of the ambulance fully recovered, she hoped, but the ambulance doors were empty. Lanie was trying to talk to her but she wouldn't listen.
Heart beats harder
Time escapes me
trembling hands touch skin
it makes this harder
and the tears stream down my face
Lanie was trying to get her settled; she was sobbing too, but was trying hard to hide it. She had to be strong for Kate. Kate didn't realise until then that her cheeks felt moist, and that she'd been crying. She still remembered the last words he said to her –"Next time, I'll listen to you and stay in the car KB, Niall is just like me though, you might wanna be careful with that one, but I think Alex is smarter than him, don't tell them I said so." And he laughed after that. Not one bit scared that his life was going to be taken away. And that last laugh was etched on his face.
If we could only have this life for one more day
If we could only turn back time
Now Kate was sobbing uncontrollably, Ryan and Lanie had gone to her place to inform Alexis, Martha and Niall and Alexandria. The twins would be too young to understand. But Alexis, Kate felt ashamed of the promise she had made her eldest daughter that she'd keep her dad safe. Kate felt so much anger in her, Castle could have told her about his connection to the person behind her mother's murder, but he had to keep it to himself. He'd been doing it for two years now. But he was trying to protect her. She didn't buy the defense.
You know I'll be
your life, your voice your reason to be
my love, my heart
Is breathing for this
Moment in time
I'll find the words to say
Before you leave me today
She'd been kneeling there for god knows how long. Esposito came and hugged her. She didn't push him off. He told her that they needed to get her changed. She had blood covered on her. His blood. She silently nodded and moved towards her car. Espo offered to drop her. She nodded; she had no energy in her to even think. Her breathing became heavier as home came closer. It had started to pour when they reached her place. She couldn't go in there. She had to face all those people, Martha and her kids. Suddenly her legs were frozen in one spot. She looked at Esposito and shook her head telling him she couldn't do it. He nodded understandingly but still motioned her towards the door; telling her he'll be there. The walk to the door seemed too long for her liking. She remembered those moments, when he'd carried her through the same corridor on the night they'd started dating, and another time when Niall and Alex were going to be born, he's swooped her bridal style and carried her through these corridors to the car and then the hospital. She remembered those moments when he confessed his love for the second time, when she was ready to run away again. She also remembered the moment when the thief was going to enter by stabbing her, he came and punched him one on the face and the poor guy blacked out. The thief now is their day doorman. Rick was such a kind hearted person, a loving father and a husband. She choked down a sob, and opened the door.
Close the door
Throw the key
Don't wanna be reminded
Don't wanna be seen
Don't wanna be without you
My judgement is clouded
Like tonight's sky.
The atmosphere was alien to her. She felt her wobbly feet walk towards her eldest daughter. She looks at clouded blue eyes and says –"I'm sorry I couldn't fulfil my promise. Hate me if you want to."Alexis replied –"Families don't hate each other, Mom." Kate's heart melted hearing that one word from her eldest daughter, and then Alexis hugged Kate and both, the red head and the brunette were sobbing in each other's arms. Alex and Niall come and hug them too, waiting for their father who would never turn up.
Lanie tells Kate to go and change while she took care of things here. Kate protests and tells her that even she had two kids waiting for her. Lanie reassures her by telling her that Jenny was with her and Lanie's kids while Ryan and Esposito took care of the paperwork and other matters. Kate nods and heads to hers and his bedroom.
Hands are silent
Voice is numb
Try to scream out my lungs
But it makes this harder
And the tears stream down my face.
She goes through all of his belongings and stumbles upon a locker behind those Armani suits. She takes a guess and types a number which turns out to be right. It's her badge number. She smiles slightly for this. Lots of files and papers were inside the locker and so was his unpublished script, a kids adventure story called –"The adventures of the Rook brothers." She mentally noted that she'd give that to Paula and tell her that it was his final book for the world.
If we could only have this life for one more day
If we could only turn back time
You know I'll be
Your life, your voice your reason to be
My love, my heart
Is breathing for this
Moment in time
I'll find the words to say
Before you leave me today
She finds an envelope addressed in her name.
To Kate
The answers you seek will be found when all hope's lost.
Love,
Alexander Rogers.
(I used this name because only my other half for "always" has the right to know this.)
Flashes left in my mind
Going back to the time
Playing games in the street
Kicking balls with my feet
Dancing on with my toes
Standing close to the edge
There's a pile of my clothes
At the end of your bed
As I feel myself fall
Make a joke of it all
She sighs and decides to read the letter. Wondering what possibly could be there. And then it clicks; her "hope" was him. She quickly opens the letter and begins reading.
A\N: I wrote this listening to One direction's – Moments. It's a very touching song. And i thought I HAD to write it so here it is. Please review and let me know how it was. The second chapter is the letter. I hope you enjoyed it.