A/N: This was partially inspired by Valderys' fic "Mad North-North-West," which is a Hamlet fusion, and very good. I wanted to do one of my own, and the fairy tale of the Three Little Pigs seemed like the obvious choice. Don't ask how my mind works.
I've been working on this for ages. I actually figured out the ending before writing most of the middle, and some of it still isn't finished, but I'll try to get the rest up as soon as possible.
The Three Little Royals
Once upon a time, there were two little princesses and a little prince. They lived happily together with their father, King Uther, in a castle in Camelot. As they grew up, though, they began to squabble amongst themselves. The oldest daughter, Morgause, was in love with a prince called Cenred, and wanted to rule Camelot with him by her side. The middle child, Morgana, was jealous of her older siblings, and wanted to be the future queen of Camelot. And Prince Arthur, the youngest, just wanted to hunt the fabulous creatures that lived in the woods around the castle, pine after Princess Morgana's maid, and become a great warrior.
Their quarrels got worse and worse, until one day their father called them all to his throne room. He made a proclamation to them. "My children," he said, "your arguing and bickering has made it difficult for me to defend my kingdom from the Great Dragon, Kilgharrah. Plus, it's been giving me really bad headaches. So therefore, I decree that you are banished from Camelot. You all must leave by tomorrow morning, make your own fortunes, and learn to work together. Only then can you return."
He was doing his kingly voice and fierce eyebrows, so his children did not argue. They bowed to him, and went to their chambers to tell their servants to pack.
Princess Morgause's maid, the beautiful sorceress Nimueh, took the news that they had been banished surprisingly well. "Finally, we can escape from Uther's patriarchy and become the strong, powerful women that we were destined to be," she exclaimed. Morgause blinked. "Er…" she replied.
Nimueh took no notice of her mistress' lack of enthusiasm. "If you'll excuse me, milady, I'll just go and tailor some of our dresses so that it will be easier to ride and fight in them."
When Princess Morgana told her maid, Gwen, Gwen just sighed. "I'm surprised he didn't kick you all out sooner," she murmured under her breath. Louder, she asked her mistress, "Where will we go?"
"I thought we could go to the Druid camp in the woods."
"But hasn't your father declared them to be outlaws? And besides, there's no way to find the camp without using magic. How will we do it?"
Princess Morgana waved a hand carelessly. "Don't worry, Gwen. Everything will work itself out."
As soon as Prince Arthur stomped moodily into his chambers, his servant Merlin came over, concerned. "What have you done this time?" he asked.
"Father has banished me and my sisters," Prince Arthur pouted. "I need you to pack up all of my clothing, armour, and weapons. And get a lot of food from the kitchens. And see if you can carry my mattress too. I'm going to find Gwen."
Merlin scowled, but knew better than to argue with the prince. He picked up a leather sack, and began dumping clothing into it, preparing for a long and arduous journey with his infuriating master.