Damsel in Distress
Summary: A story about the beginning of Piper and Leo's relationship. Songfic for "Damsel in Distress" by Idina Menzel. Parody.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything; that includes: lyrics, characters, or the show Charmed.
Piper POV
Damn it! Why do the demons always ruin the door! I mean every single on, occasionally they ruin something else too, but always the door. Oh well I'll call the handyman. "Hello? I Need a handy man as soon as possible."
"Sure ma'am one will be right over."
"Thanks," I said. I hope this one is as hot as the last, God knows I haven't had a real boyfriend since Andy. Just then the doorbell rang. Wow that was fast. I went and opened what was left of the door, and oh my God he was so hot!
"Well as you can see the door is broken," I said to him sweetly.
Ooh, you got big muscles rippling
Underneath your shirt
When I looked at him I could see his six-pack through his shirt which was extremely tight.
I'm so glad to meet you, baby
Tell me, what do you do for work?
As he was working I said, "So are you only a handyman?"
"Yeah, I guess you could say that," The man said.
Me? I'm just a housewife
So sad and all alone
Desperate for a strong man
To help me fix my home
"It's been so lonely here lately, I could use you around here more often," I said seductively.
"Oh really?" He replied but just kept on working, his back facing me.
Oh man look at that! Wow his jeans are so tight, but it's so hot!
I know I must look a sight
In this--this flimsy little dress
"Sorry for my being such a mess, but you came so fast I didn't have time to fix myself up."
"It's okay." I don't get the feeling that he's interested.
Won't you try your very best
To save a damsel in distress?
He stood up and faced me, smiling, and said, "I'm all done."
"Great," I said stupidly. "Do you want something to eat after all your hard work," I said hoping he would say yes.
"Yeah, sure why not."
I've got tasty treats to tempt you
Come and sit down on my couch
"Just sit down on the couch, I'll be right out with some sandwiches." But he doesn't know that I'm also changing clothes, into something more 'presentable.'
I'm sure it won't take long
To figure all my problems out
I tuned and looked at him with a wink as I left the room, "I'll be back in a minuet."
My home, it needs attention
It's such a big old mess
Yeah sure my house needs attention, but I need him more than my house does. I know that for a fact.
Take out your trusty tool
And save this damsel in distress
"Hey baby," I said as I returned to the couch in the sitting room. "You must be starving."
"Yeah, I am," I could tell he liked my new change of clothes; I was now wearing a short leather skirt, and a white tank top.
We were sitting there close on the couch, when I felt the less than sudden urge to kiss him. Then the next thing I know he leaned in toward me looking in my eyes and made the first move. He is an amazing kisser, so soft and tender. But after the kiss was over he got flustered and left.
I knew it would only be a matter of time until he has to return. Low and behold we had another demon come the next day and what do you know; they broke the door right off it's hinges. I called the same Handyman company and this time asked for Leo, which was the name on his tool belt.
"Yeah, he can come. He'll be right over."
"Thanks," I replied glad that he was coming, I just hoped it wasn't too awkward. I knew he would be here soon so I scattered rose petals on the floor all the way up to my bedroom. I hope he gets the hint.
Now, you need no invitation, baby
Just walk in and shut the door
Just then I heard him knocking outside the door that was lying on the floor.
"Come in," I yelled down from my bedroom, where I was sitting on the bed.
Follow the red rose petals that I've left
Scattered on the floor
I'll be upstairs waiting
I hope he takes the hint to follow me upstairs. Just then I heard the clunk of his heavy boots on the stairs.
With a wisp of honeydew
Customize and tell a maid
For a handed man like you
You know, I'd be so grateful
If you'd come relieve my stress
Won't you heed my S.O.S.
And save a damsel in distress?
"Hey, baby," I said as I saw him in my doorway. As he walked over to me I feld desire coming from both of us. When he got to me he pulled me into a deep kiss.
"I heard you asked specifically for me."
"Yeah," I said sweetly before another kiss.
Oh, yeah! So sweet
Oh! Yea-ay
I got the need if you're willing to please
Trust me
I make it so good that you won't wanna leave
"Are you sure you want to do this?" He asked, which only made me want to do it more.
"Yeah, you'll be so happy when we're done that you won't want to leave."
"Oh will I now?"
xXx
Later that night:
"So do you want to leave now?" I asked after we were done.
"Are you kidding? That was amazing."
Now what's a girl to do?
I'm just a--a damsel in--in distress, yeah
Oh-- little old me, baby
What you want for dinner, baby?!
Oh! Yeah!
"I knew you wouldn't wanna leave. Wanna stay for dinner? And maybe an appatizer?"
"Ohhh, sounds good."
AN: Weird I know, I hope you like it please R&R!