"Things are different now, aren't they?" Those words continued to ring in Hitsugaya's head time and time again. Hinamori looked… sad, or even nostalgic when she uttered those words. Her voice was quiet when she said it, but to Hitsugaya, they were like reverberating screams. Guilt started to overcome him, making any type of work impossible. The same thoughts ran through his mind. 'Why did this happen? How could I let it happen so freaking easily?' He stood up from his desk chair.
Quickly, Hitsugaya began to pace. That's right, he paced.
"Hinamori," he muttered to himself. He remembered all they went through together. All the watermelons they ate at his grandma's house, when they used to play together, and the loneliness he remembered.
Ah, yes, the loneliness. At times, after she attended the Academy, he felt so alone. It consumed him until he became bitter and angry at so many people, most of which did not even deserve the hate projected towards them. However, Hitsugaya could not seem to help it. When one feels emotions that strong, especially one of loss, they cannot control how they act. So, he would snap at her and push her away, but long for their friendship.
Eventually, he went to the Academy, and met Hinamori. They slowly rebuilt their friendship on their remains. But then Hitsugaya met Aizen Sosuke: the guy that ruined everything, as Hitsugaya kindly named him as. He continued to pace in his office. Thankfully, Rangiku left on a mission for a while. She would not have to see him like this. Nor would she annoy him with her thoughtful yet futile ways to cheer him up.
"I really hate him," Hitsugaya said aloud. Aizen did ruin everything. He started a war that left Soul Society destroyed for years. Everyone trusted him until he betrayed him. How could they not? With his gentle eyes and careful, kind form of speech, even the hardest soul could eventually be put under his spell. Aizen Sosuke ended up fooling everyone, even Hitsugaya, and especially Hinamori.
Although Hitsugaya and Hinamori's relationship possessed other problems, Aizen was the main cause of it breaking, or rather, shattering. He faked his death and had Hinamori believe Hitsugaya had killed him. With her blind admiration of Aizen so intense, she tried to avenge his death. That destroyed what they reconstructed over the years.
"Hinamori," he repeated as images of her frightened face flicked through his mind like a movie theater. Her face was exceptionally expressive. She was as easy to read as a book at times. Her sadness, pity, joy, triumph, defeat, anger, all shined through her eyes. At least, until Aizen came along. Damn him.
Even when she fought at the Winter War, Hinamori looked dead inside. It seemed as though solely duty brought her back to the fake Karakura Town, where she fought and almost died.
Even when Soul Society won the Winter War, no expression could be read on her face. All Hitsugaya saw was fatigue.
Even when Hitsugaya tried to talk to her, she stared blankly into space, until yesterday.
They sat on a rooftop looking at the sky. It was a beautiful day. Birds sang, cherry blossoms were blooming, and the sky was a cloudless blue, but something was missing. So to attempt to fill the empty void, Hitsugaya talked. "Hinamori, it's such a great day," he remarked. "Would you like to get some ice cream? My treat; I know how much you love ice cream. Or how about we go to the park? We can—"
"Hitsugaya-taicho," she interrupted. "What's wrong?"
He faked a smile. "Oh, nothing!" he laughed. "I merely thought we'd do something instead of sitting around. Besides, you need to get out more often…"
She sighed. "You know that's not true. Well, I need more sunshine, but Hitsugaya-taicho, there IS something wrong. I feel it. Our friendship… I honestly think that this time, it's broken beyond repair…"
Hitsugaya started. "Hinamori! No! Don't say that…" She looked at him, and for once she carried an emotion behind her brown eyes. Sadness. Wistfulness.
"Things are different now, aren't they? You treat me like one would treat broken glass. Carefully, calculatingly." Leaves swirled around them. "Please, don't do that. I'm not as fragile as you believe. I've… been thinking lately. Ever since Aizen died, I've been free. I've never felt like this! But, you still treat me oddly. Why, Hitsugaya-taicho? Why?!?"
"Because you're still broken, Hinamori!" he shouted. After the fact, he wished he didn't, but he plowed on. "Calling me respectfully, always having this blank look in your eyes; it isn't normal! Maybe YOU think you are better, but you aren't! Once you come to terms with that, maybe we can salvage our friendship!" Hinamori's eyes watered. She stared down at her pale hands. The bags under her eyes were more pronounced.
Hitsugaya stared at her. He whispered, "I want you back more than anything else in the world, Hinamori. I'll do whatever it takes, just get over Aizen! Please… Come back." With that, he stood up, and, hunched over, ran to his office. He was frightened beyond anything he ever felt before then. What if she was right? No, she couldn't be. She. Couldn't. Be. NO.
*
Now he stared at his hands. While recalling that painful memory, he slid against the wall, head in his hands. Only Hinamori could do this to him.
Sure, he regretted what he said, but it also needed to be said. The problem was: what should he do now? "What do I do? What do I do?" he murmured. Once more, he saw her face, smiling and eating a watermelon. Once again, he thought of how she talked of the sunshine, life, summer. "That's it!" he hissed. Hitsugaya stood up, green eyes excited, and he ran to find Hinamori.
*
Hinamori sat in her office, reading a manga. She hoped it would take her to another, happier world. 'Okay, I admit,' she thought as her mind strayed from the comic. 'I am different. Maybe I'm lifeless. But I've been through more than any—Wait! Stop thinking that! I am not special… And I've hurt Hitsugaya-tai… No, Hinamori. Don't call him taicho. We're friends, not acquaintances. And… I've hurt Hitsugaya-kun more than Aizen hurt me. Could I ever fully restore our friendship? And should I, if he's better off without me…?' Crying out, she threw her book against the wall. It opened to a page. "Can I ever repay my debt, after I hurt you so much?" the girl in the comic inquired, face full of worry and hope.
"…Yes…." The boy answered, staring into her eyes.
"Agh!" Hinamori yelled at the corny scene. Then, she opened up to the idea. 'Okay, so maybe it is a shojo manga. But everything is written or drawn on a foundation, no matter how thin, of reality. So maybe I can save our friendship. No, scratch that, I must!' She ran out of her room.
*
They both ran through the crowded streets, dust blowing up around their feet. Gasping for breath, they looked wildly around, each trying to locate the other. "Hitsugaya-kun, where are you?" Hinamori asked, shielding her brown eyes from the harsh sunlight. "I HAVE to find you…"
Toshiro suddenly stopped, as though he heard something. It was as though he heard Hinamori's voice in the crowd, saying his name. That was impossible. How could he have heard her with so many people around the street talking loudly without a care? However, he instinctively turned around, and time seemed to stop right then and there.
His green eyes widened in surprise. Hinamori was standing just a few feet away from him. She was whipping her head left and right as though searching. "Hinamori!" he shouted, or wanted to, anyway, but his voice caught. 'How could I have let things get so bad? Look at her,' he ordered himself. 'Hinamori looks so tired, and even more melancholy. I hate Aizen! Hinamori, look at me! Why can I not talk? All I need to do is say one word, but I can't. Bed wetter Momo…. I don't know what…'
Suddenly, she turned around, the wind blowing her robes around. It was like she heard his thoughts, but she probably just knew he would be there. "Hitsugaya-kun!" Hinamori cried out, her voice desperate and hopeful. She ran towards him, arms open wide. It seemed like they were the only two people on the street. "Hitsugaya- kun!" She hugged him, hard. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean what I said before about us. I want our friendship to work out, no matter how many barriers we face. We'll overcome them. I just know we will. Please, give me one more chance. I…"
"Hinamori," he interrupted. "I take it you're feeling better now?" He smiled slightly.
"YES! I really am, Hitsugaya-kun! You are my best friend ever. I won't let you go that easily," she smirked, and her eyes twinkled happily.
"I know. Together, we'll take the world by storm. But come here, I want to show you something." He took her hand and led her through the streets.
"What are you—" she started, and gasped at what she saw. "You…You…" Hinamori could not finish.
Standing before them, at the site of his dead grandmother's house was a garden of watermelons: their favorite food.
"It brings back fond memories, doesn't it?" he asked her quietly. Much to her embarrassment, her eyes welled with tears.
"Yeah…" she replied softly. "Thank you. You planted this for me?"
"For us," he corrected. "I almost forgot I planted those months ago, but I remembered. I knew you'd like them, and because of all the rain, they could grow healthily…"
"And now there's sunshine." She meant it both literally and figuratively. "We can start a new chapter in our lives now, Hitsugaya-kun."
"Yes, but one more thing, Hinamori." Hitsugaya turned around to face her.
He looked her in the eyes and said, "Call me Shiro-chan."