Chapter One
He sat there in front of the fire staring into the flickering flames and he felt nothing. Nothing but an emptiness that seemed to envelop his entire soul. He knew what he had done was something beyond his own rational capabilities. But it was done now and he had to learn to deal with it, to accept it for what it was, and he had to move on from it. Holding back wouldn't do him or anyone close to him any good. He knew that. He had to protect those he cared about from his own dark nature. And if he left it consume him, and then he knew that he would only put those very people that he needed to protect, in dire straits.
Moving on was something that he now knew he should have done a long time ago. Way before he had arrived in Mystic falls. But he also knew that a bigger, more stubborn, part of him would never allow himself open to risk even more pain into his heart. He had known enough pain to cover at least four lifetimes in just one. He had never thought of his human life being one outside of his vampire life and he had lived as a vampire for a lot longer than he had been a mere human. He loved being a vampire. Probably more than he had ever loved anything or anyone else. But that didn't stop him from missing being human and he would have given anything to be human again. He would give up anything to be human. He would even give up his own brother and he loved him more than he ever had loved anyone else. But now it was never going to be and he hated himself all the more for it.
He drained his glass, placing it onto the coffee table next to him and closed his eyes. Still feeling the remnants of the blows that his brother had rained down upon him. He deserved each one. He knew he had and he knew better than many that he was a pig ignorant, selfish, arrogant, mean, manipulative, reckless and impulsive dick. But he had never claimed to be anything other than who he was. And he was so tired of trying to be someone he wasn't. Someone like his brother, Stefan. Someone he knew deep down he could never be. Someone that she had wanted him to be and now he knew that she was only in love with the idea of who he could become. Who she tried so desperately hard to make him. She wanted him to be his brother. Someone he would never be.
He could put on the hero hair. He could save as many people he didn't care about as he wanted to. But he could never stop being the man that he had been born as a vampire to be. And he needed to be accepted as the man he was and not for the man that he could be made into. Deep down he knew there was still some good in him from his human life. Parts of him that he had kept buried deeply for so long. And he could allow them to surface. But only if he wanted them too. And being forced to feel those old unforgotten good pieces of him made them retract and bury them deeper within him and his vampire nature always rebelled and he became darker, more volatile.
He looked down at the framed photo that he held in his shaking hands. The one of him and Elena taken the summer just before he had found himself thrown back in time to nineteen ninety four. He closed his eyes again and rubbed at his temple with his free hand. He tried to feel something, anything but the numbness that had swallowed him whole. He got to his feet and threw the photo into the fire, his hand grabbing at the mantel to help steady him.
Taking a deep breath he pushed himself away from the mantel and spun around and looked into green eyes and his heart skipped a beat, then it slowed down to a standstill in his chest when he saw the pain etched across her face and he made a start to go to her to try and comfort her. But the look she was giving him stopped him in his tracks.
"Damon" she said, her eyes filling with tears that he knew she wasn't about to shred. "Julian is dead. You have to leave before they come for you"
He didn't know what she was saying. He heard the words he had been longing to hear since Julian came back from the stone. But now that he was hearing them, he assumed that he had hit his head and was lost in an unconscious dream. But the worry in her tone was real. He felt it hitting him in the chest with a pain that he had never felt before over anyone but his mother.
"How?" was the only thing he could bring himself to say past the miasma of broken thoughts that streamed through his head like a jumbled mess.
"After the fight between you and Julian, Stefan and Valerie cloaked him and staked him with the back of a chair. But that doesn't matter right now" she went and stood in front of him, looking up into his face. "We need to get you some place safe before his minions come and tear you apart"
Damon stood there, his hand reached out and grabbed her by the shoulder, his eyes searching her face for anything other than fear, but he couldn't see anything past her desperation to save him and so he slowly nodded, closing his eyes.
"Ok" he whispered, looking deeply into her eyes. "Where are we going?"
"There is a safe house that we can hide out at" Bonnie pulled out her phone and called the last number that had called her. "Go pack" she urged him as she pushed him out of the room. "We leave in five minutes"
He stumbled out of the room, his thoughts flying away from him again. And he wished that she and his brother would stop trying to save him by putting their own lives in constant danger.
He was growing bored of the highway now and pulled off at the next exit. He glanced at her in the seat next to him, her eyes closed as she laid back in the seat and he smiled to himself, feeling the numbness that had snatched a hold of him melting away with each second that passed by.
"You do know that it is rude to watch people sleeping" she opened her eyes and pulled a face at him and they both started to laugh.
"One, you were not sleeping" he told her, taking a left turn into the city centre. "And two, you look like a little tinsy tiny angelic wicked witch from the west when you are pretending to be asleep" he chuckled at her fake scowling face.
She mock punched him on the arm; yawning and he frowned down at the clock and got the shock of his life when he saw that it was almost one am.
"Are you hungry" he asked her with a little frown. "You look tired, hungry and in need of a drink"
She smiled at him and nodded before yawing a little. "Sounds good to me. We have been driving now, how long?"
"Six, maybe seven hours" he told her as he pulled the car over to the side of the road and parked up. "You wanted as far away as we could get from Julian's band of legless men" he rubbed at his tired eyes and turned a bright smile on her.
"You seem to brighten up more the further we get form Mystic falls" she smiled back at him, folding her arms across her chest. "Now who are you and what have you done with Damon?" she burst into giggles and he got out of the car, mumbling about being happy again and she followed suit and met him by the door to the bar. "I need" she bounced from foot to foot now that the cold night air had hit her hard.
"I thought so" he chuckled as he held the door open for her. "In you go little miss hoppy"
He followed her into the bar and watched her walk to the bathroom as he made his way up to the bar.
"What can I get you?" the blonde woman asked him with a cheery smile, her eyes lighting up when he turned back to look at her.
"Two classes of your best bourbon, dry, please" he leant on the bar and looked at his own reflection in the mirror. "Do you do food?" he asked the bartender when she came back with his drinks.
"We do bar food" she replied taking the money he gave her and she handed him two menus.
"Thank you" he tucked them under his arm and grabbing the drinks he headed to the table nearest the bathrooms so that Bonnie would spot him as soon as she came out.
"Hey, hot stuff" some loud guy growled playfully.
Damon looked up from his menu when he heard Bonnie yelp and saw some guy grabbing her ass and he flew across the bar and grabbed the guy by the scruff, and slammed him into the pillar he had been leaning against.
"I'm going to slap you with this beer mug until all that is left of it is the handle" Damon snarled into his face snatching the mug from his hand, after pushing Bonnie behind him. "Then I will drop you on your head. Stamp on your face and hand feed you your own"
"Damon" he felt her small hand touch his shoulder softly and he refused to let go of the man. "Let him go"
"I don't want any trouble" the guy who had just grabbed Bonnie's bottom mumbled in fear.
"Now" Bonnie told him forcefully and he couldn't defy her and so reluctantly he backed down.
Damon placed the half empty beer mug down onto the table and growled again. "If I so much as see you glance her way, again, then the beer mug will be the least of your worries" he patted the guy once on the chest before he put his arm around Bonnie's waist and walked her back to their table and sat down.
"A girl can't even use the bathroom around here without getting groped" she laughed a little, trying to break the thick fog of anger that was currently circling Damon's head.
"The next time you have to pee" Damon took a sip from his own glass to distract himself from going back and tearing both the guys arms off and feeding them to him, anally. "I'll take you"
"I don't need a bodyguard" she retorted, picking up her own glass and watching his reaction over the rim as she drank a little before taking the menu he passed her and opened it. "I would have handled him on my own" she eyed him up over the top of the menu, hoping that her not being some defenceless damsel that needed him to rescue her would come across, but he just shook his head and laughed lightly and she bit her bottom lip.
"Well, Bonbon" he raised his eyebrows at her with a little lopsided grin. "That you are stuck with" he grinned at her again, his heart beating way too fast as he looked into her green eyes. "And you can't do your witchy woo on him as he was human and you would have killed him. So best leave the killing to someone who enjoys it" he looked at her, cocking his head to the side. "Besides I have enough blood on my hands for the both of us and I will always be here to fight your honour"
She opened her mouth to speak when a tall guy with shoulder length dark blue hair came over to the table.
"I'm going to have to ask you both to leave the premises"
Damon got to his feet and drained his glass and handed Bonnie hers but she shook her head as she started to put on her coat and so he drank hers too. "We are only leaving because we want too and not because some clown with misguided hair has asked us too" he grabbed his jacket and shrugged it on, looking at the guy who he had wanted to break like a twig over the managers shoulder.
"If you could both make your way outside" the manager waved his arm towards the door.
"We are leaving" Bonnie replied indignantly, taking her purse from Damon.
"I'm sorry for that back there" Damon spoke low when they both walked back out onto the street and she turned and smiled back at him, shaking her head.
"No" she smiled back at him. "Thank you for fighting for my honour"
His mind swelled with something he had never felt before in his whole life and something started to stir deeply inside his chest and he wondered if that was what pride felt like. "Any time" he winked at her as he held out his arm for her and his heart started to beat fast again when she took it. "Let's try not to get thrown out of the next place like a couple of riff raff" she burst into giggles as he led her towards the car.
"Hey" they both heard and turned around just as someone punched Damon in the face, knocking him off balance and he fell to the floor. "You threaten my brother again and the only place she'll be taking you is to the ER"
Bonnie reached down and helped him back onto his feet, instantly standing in Damon's way so that he wouldn't be able to get at the guy.
"I'm sorry" Damon snarled over Bonnie's head at the guy that was now trying to get around her to hit him again. "I think I might have slipped into LaLa land where you think you have the upper hand" he mocked him, trying to gently move Bonnie to the side, but she was having none of it and he didn't want her to get hurt by the guy still trying to sock another punch on his face. "Bonnie, please step aside" he begged her, but she shook her head, infuriating him.
The guy started to chuckle deeply. "Little woman fighting your battles for you, uh, dude"
Before he could open his mouth he watched her hand flew out and hit him square in the jaw and she cried out in pain and that was Damon's que to move her out of the way and the second he did, he felt something hit him on the back of the head and he fell down to his knees just as everything around him went blurry. He heard Bonnie yelling behind him, but it sounded like she was floating towards him on the breeze from a few miles away and slowly he staggered back to his feet and felt another hit to the back of his head and again, he fell to his knees. People yelling for someone to hit him again, but all he heard was Bonnie's voice and he saw red and leaping to his feet he grabbed the baseball bat from the guy who had groped Bonnie inside the bar and threw it across the street, where it hit a car sending of its alarm in an high pitched wail. And grabbing him by the throat he pinned him up against the front of the bar, his face a mere inch from his.
"What did I tell you a few moments ago about looking at her" he felt himself starting to lose control again, and he willed himself not to tear the guy's head off and cause a blood bath that would make Bonnie hate him again. He couldn't have that, not now.
"I'm warning you" a rough voice barked behind him and he shrugged to himself.
"You are warning me" Damon snarled deeply letting the guy drop onto his knees gasping for breath and spun around on his heels and grabbed a hold of the gropers brother and pulled him to him and he spoke fast into the side of his face. "I'm warning you that I will tear you apart, hunt down every single member of your family and feed them little tiny pieces of you" he felt Bonnie trying to tug him away from the small crowd that had started to gather outside of the bar. "Then I will skin every member of your family and make her" he nodded to Bonnie at his side, still trying to drag him away from the fight that was starting to escalate quickly. "A new purse" his voice grew hoarse with anger, he wanted nothing more than to tear the guy's head off and launch it through the crowd like a make shift game of skittles.
"Damon" Bonnie yelled at him as she slapped him on the back. "I'm fine. Can we just leave before this scene gets any larger and you know who comes and finds us" she bit her bottom lip to stop herself from screaming at him.
He pulled the guy to face him. "Take your pervert of a brother and get the hell out of my sight before I kill you both" the guy nodded and Damon smirked at him. "You should thank your lucky stars that I have more respect for her than I have the need to kill dicks like you" he pushed him into his brother that was now slowly getting back to his feet and they both fell into the wall. "Have a great night, won't you" he took Bonnie's hand and walked her to the passenger side of the car and opened the door for her and closed it and ran around to the driver's side and climbed inside.
"I'm sorry, Bon" he reached across and took her hand into his, watching the bruise already starting to appear on one of her knuckles and he raised her hand to his mouth and closing his eyes he gently planted a kiss. "Let's go and find somewhere to stay the night" he started to car and pulled away from the side of the road.
"Thank you" he heard her say and turning her saw her looking down at her hand that rested on her lap and he didn't know if she was thanking him for the kiss or for walking away, but he smiled at her, feeling his heart miss a beat, again.
.
"We got the big suite" Damon turned around, the smile lighting up his heart along with his eyes as they fell onto her standing next to him.
"We went all out, didn't we" she smiled back at him and his heart missed a few beats and he thought that he was going to pass out from the loss of the blood to his heart as it flew to his head and he went completely breathless around her again. And he didn't understand why.
"Let's settle in and order room service" he grinned at her playfully and she nodded at him as she took her bag from him "I'll have a burger" she told before she went to the closest room and went inside.
He walked into the smaller room and put his bag down on the floor and sat down on the bed and picked up the phone and called up room service.
"Hello" he heard a woman from the other end of the phone. "How may I help you?"
Damon heard the shower turning on. "Can we have two burgers will all the trimmings sent up to room four thirteen?"
Getting back to his feet he headed back out into the living area and taking off his jacket he placed it over the back of the couch, walking over to the mini bar and smiled to himself when he saw that they had the full sized bottles. Grabbing a bottle of scotch and two glasses he went back to the couch and sat down, pouring them both out a glass and while he waited for her to return, he drank his and refilled it.
"Room service" he heard someone calling through the door and he went to answer it.
"You have come just in time" he opened the door and the smile fell from his when he felt the blow to his stomach and staggering backwards his hands went to his middle and doubling over her gasped for air, blood pouring through the gaps between his fingers and he looked towards Bonnie's bedroom door, hoping that she didn't hear anything just as more people started filing into the room. "What do you want?" he growled low, praying for time to heal to get rid of them all before they could put Bonnie in danger.
"Just the heart of you and your little friend on a silver platter" the guy who had staked him said lightly with a cocky little grin and Damon started to lose his mind.
"You don't touch her" Damon stood up, snarling like a wounded beast now. "Me, fine. But you lay one hand on her and I will kill your entire bloodline before I tear the whole world apart" he made a move to attack him, but a pain hit his head, crushing his skull and he dropped onto his knees, holding onto his head, trying not to cry out to alert Bonnie to what was going on and he bit his tongue, swallowing the blood to distract himself from the pain in his head and he tried to get back to his feet when he felt his legs breaking and falling back down he swallowed down the scream that hit his lips.
"Touch her" he laughed shrill down at Damon as he tried to get back to his feet again, despite his broken ankles, but he kept falling back down with a pain that blurred his vision. "Sweetness, I'm going to break her so bad that no sounds will escape her pretty little mouth"
Damon lost his mind and leapt to his feet, the pain causing blood tears to flow down his face. "You don't touch her" he was past feral now and ignoring his ankles that refused to heal with the second witch constantly breaking them on him, he made his way slowly and painfully towards the one who had threatened Bonnie's life.
"I don't think you are in any position to make threats" he saw through the blood flowing into his eyes the second witch standing on front of him now and he half growled half snarled at him. "Not when you don't have any air going into your lungs"
Damon's dropped to his knees again, his eyes bulging and his hands flew to his throat and he started clawing at himself, trying to break through to his windpipe to get a breath and falling to his knees he felt something sharp hitting him in the shoulder blade and he staggered on his knees and almost fell forward, but he stood defiant, he needed to protect her and he would do anything to be able to do that.
"You" he managed to get out between trying to breathe again. " Don't" he broke through to his windpipe and felt a rush of air flowing to his lungs. "Touch her" he finished with an animalistic snarl.
"Aren't you the little fighter" he heard a deep cackle from behind him when he felt the stake removed and rammed back into him just above his heart and he felt it scrapping against the top of his heart and everything started to go out of focus.
"You can't die" he heard his inner voice screaming at him as he started to pass out from the blood vessels still bursting in his head. "She'll die too"
He made himself get back to his feet and spun on his heels just as another stake pierced his left lung and he fell onto his back, the stake in his back stabbing through him a little more and the pain took his fighting breath away from him and he closed his eyes, willing himself to fight a little more.
"Get away from him" Bonnie yelled as she came out of her room.
Damon rolled onto his stomach and through the shooting pains in his back from the stake, he smiled up at her despite the pain he was in and saw her face contort with so much anger and that she scared even him and that was the moment when he finally learned that what he felt for her she felt back for him. And that now scared him more than her anger ever could.
"You mess one hair on his head and I blow yours off your shoulders" she took a step closer to Julian's goons and then another, lifting up her hand. "Try it, I dare you"
Damon hadn't seen Bonnie react to his life being in danger like that since Kai had tried to kill him when they were both trapped together in the nineteen ninety four prison world with him. Someone moved out of the corner of his eye.
He watched with wide eyes when Bonnie held out her hands and both witches fell to their knees and he didn't have to look at them to know that she had just blown up their brains, but he heard the two little low thuds as both hit the floor and turning back on to his back he yanked out the stake from his lung and threw it with a force that he didn't even knew he had with the weak condition he was in and rolled out of the way just as the vampire fell face down.
"I said you don't touch him" he heard Bonnie yelling out as he ducked a blow from another vampire running towards him and looking down at the guy on his knees he shoved his fist into his chest and tore out his heart and with a little cough he threw it onto the floor.
"I think we need to leave the country today" he smiled at her as she helped him back up onto his feet and he surveyed the bodies while she pulled the stake from his back and he wrapped his arms around her and holding her close he leant his face on her head and breathed in the sweet scent of her, swallowing deeply he closed his eyes. "I know a place that we can go" he told her and felt her nodding under him and he smiled to himself. "There is a summer place in Florence that I used to go to back in eighties whenever I had my humanity back on. There is a couple living there for me, but they won't bother us"
"I have always wanted to go to Italy" Bonnie whispered into his chest and he felt his whole body swelling with something that confused him again, but it was a feeling that he enjoyed and one that he never wanted to leave him.
Damon opened his eyes and looked down at the bodies lying all over the suite. "We need to find a little distraction from the rest of the minions trying to find us" he told her as he sat down on the arm of the couch. "But what" he tried to rack his brain, but nothing was coming to him, and he knew the reason for that, the feelings that were still flowing through his soul was changing him, somehow and he didn't mind changing for the first time in his life, for her. "Do you have any ideas" he asked her, looking up at her standing in front of him and slowly a light appeared behind her bright green eyes and he grinned at her.
"We need to make it look like, two of those bodies are ours" she looked at him as he rose to his feet and before she could speak another word she watched him start yanking out a few of his teeth. "What are you doing" she asked him, starring into his toothless mouth and shuddered visibly.
"Making it look like I died here" he chuckled as he bent down and grabbed a hold of the smaller, darker guy's head and hit him square in the mouth and she saw a few of his teeth fall into Damon's left hand before he sprinkled his own teeth on the guys chest and stomach, letting his head flop back onto the floor with a soft thud.
"There is no way that you are taking out any of my teeth" she folded her arms across her chest and shook her head.
"No, silly" he got back to his feet and walked over to the only female in the room and crouching down he sank his teeth into her neck and Bonnie watched him in alarm as he started to drink deeply.
"What the hell are you doing?" she asked him and closed her mouth when he held up his hand and then he was standing just in front of her, his hands on her shoulders, peering softly into her eyes.
"Just a little blood" he told her, holding out a small dagger for her and taking it she moved away from him.
"That I can do" she smiled up at his pale face as she took the blade out of his shaking hand and that confused her. "When does he shake like that" she thought to herself as she was now stood next to the body of the female witch lying on the floor next to the vampire that now had more of Damon's teeth than he did at that moment.
"Just a little" she heard him behind her and she nodded with her back to him.
She opened the palm of her hand and went to draw the blade across it and quickly changed her mind and drew it along the length of her forearm and crouching down next to the girl she watched numbly as her blood spurted out, half drenching the girl and slowly she got back to her feet and wobbled a little, then strong arms were around her and lifting her off her feet.
"I said a little, not drain yourself over the dead girl" Damon chuckled as he smiled down into her deathly white face and his heart started to hammer way too fast in his chest and laying her down on the couch he dropped to his knees, biting into his wrist and held it to her mouth. "That's my girl" he smiled and closed his eyes when she took a hold of his arm in both her hands and started to suckle from his wrist.
He was used to feeding others his blood over his long life. But no one else had brought to him a feeling of jubilation quite like he received whenever he had feed Bonnie and he shivered a little and he felt her alarm when she pulled her mouth from his arm.
"No" he shook his head. "You need a little more"
"What now?" she asked him when he got back to his feet and picked up his jacket and took out his phone and crushed it in his hand and she watched him dropping it onto the floor before he threw his jacket across the room where it hit a lamp over and she jumped a little when she heard it shatter.
"We set the place on fire and go out the window" he grabbed a lighter from a pocket of one of Julian's minions. "Grab a bottle and start pouring it everywhere" he told her as he started to pour out a bottle of brandy over the guy that had his teeth and he smiled to himself when he felt his own starting to grow back and lifting the bottle to his lips he gulped it back before he started to pour the rest of the contents out over the other bodies and when the bottle was empty he threw it behind him and turned to look at her across the room, pouring out a bottle over the witch that was going to be her for the police and he felt his heart skip its beat again and he grinned at her when she caught him looking at him. "Ready?" he asked her and she nodded at him, throwing the bottle behind her and he loved the little jump she gave when the bottle smashed against the back of the bathroom door and he went to her and took her hand in his.
Damon led her to the double doors and opened them and they both walked out onto the balcony together. He heard her heart beating faster now and he hoped that it just wasn't from what they were about to do. He grabbed her and spun her round to face him and kissed her impulsively on the forehead before he knew what he was doing.
"Wait here" he shivered to her breathlessly before turning and running back into the room and a few seconds later he came back, closing the French doors behind him. "Let's go start a new life" he winked at her, scooping her up in his arms and before she could utter a single word he leapt from the balcony and landed without a sound on the balls of his feet and he placed her on her own and held her steady for a few seconds while she got her breath back again.
"Airport" she half smiled at him and he loved how resilient and feisty she was to whatever life threw at her and he knew that she was his equal in all things and he had never felt that way about anyone before in his whole entire life, not even with Stefan. "He hailed a cab and opened the door for her and he climbed in behind her.
Damon took his seat while he waited for Bonnie to return from the bathroom. He stared out of the window into the bright morning sky. He had never felt so mentally exhausted in his life. Closing his eyes he rubbed at his eyelids. Trying to relieve the pressure that was starting to build. He couldn't remember the last time he had actually fed since they had gone on the run. Was it really two days? He really couldn't remember and each time he tried, a fog flowed over his mind and forced him to stop.
"Thank you" he forced himself to smile at the steward passing out hot towels and sitting back in his seat he laid it over his face, closing his eyes again, wishing that Bonnie would hurry up and sit next to him so that he knew she was safe.
He hated the not knowing part. He hated that he couldn't watch her every move. And he knew that she wouldn't put up with it either and he hated that more than anything. He heard a faint giggling and pulled the towel from his face and looked up at her and grinned, moving his legs to allow her to pass him for the window seat.
"You look like a stressed out old woman" she teased him and he chuckled a little.
"I feel it" he confided in her in a low voice as he twisted in his seat and started to help her with the belt and she batted his hand away.
"I think I can buckle myself in without any dire problems"
Damon nodded his head, wanting nothing more than to close his eyes and sleep the fog that still beleaguered his mind, away.
"Damon" she whispered, crouching down a little in her seat and his heart started to flutter with her mouth so close to his ear, he could feel her warm breath on his neck and it excited him. "When was the last time you, fed?" and he shrugged. "You need to feed or you are going to be too weak" he nodded his head, closing his eyes and placing the cooling towel back onto his face. "Once we are in the air, you and I are going to get a blanket and I am feeding you" he shook his head in protest, but she wasn't about to have any of it. "I am not asking you, Damon" she told him as the plane started down the runway. "You are getting fed even if I have to force feed you"
Twenty minutes later when the seatbelt sign had turned off, she got to her feet and slipped past him and on tip toes she reached up into the overhead compartment and grabbed a hold of a blanket and took it back to her seat and spreading it out over the both of them she tapped his shoulder, but he was fast asleep and so she let him sleep it off.
"Good morning" he heard the bright voice and opening his eyes he found the seat next to him empty and he leapt to his feet, his heart ponding hard in his ears and he had trouble hearing the air stewardess as she read the breakfast menu to him.
"My companion" he turned and looked down the aisle and couldn't see her anywhere. "Where is she?"
"The bathroom" the steward gave him a funny look and he slid back down in his seat feeling his heart slowing down its quickened pace and he started to relax a little.
"Two coffees and, um" he looked at the menu, frowning over what Bonnie would like for breakfast and he wished he knew.
"Why don't you give your companion this selection" she smiled at his half asleep face and he nodded at her, smoothing down his hair before taking the tray from her.
"Thank you" he tore open a sugar packet and emptied its contents into his mug and then one in hers before he sipped at his own without stirring it, his eyes not leaving the bathroom area once.
"Oh good" he turned and looked up at a bright eyed, fresh looking Bonnie. "I am starving"
"I didn't know what you wanted" he told her truthfully when she slipped back into her seat and sipped her coffee.
"I could eat anything right now" she replied picking up the plastic fork and stabbing the pitiful looking sausage and taking a big bite. "You did well" she reassured him between chewing.
Damon smiled at her and finished his coffee. "We are landing in a little under an hour"
Bonnie's folk stopped short of her mouth and she looked at the side of his face and he seemed to be in even more of a state than she was and she barely slept in her uncomfortable seat. "Damon you look way too pale"
He turned and looked at her, shock evident on his face. "I always look pale" he laughed deeply, placing the empty mug back down on the tray table. "The perks of being" he looked around and saw that no one was taking any notice of them. "Vampire"
"Not that pale" she retorted and he shrugged and she knew she wasn't going to get anywhere with him and so she finished her breakfast in silence.
He was just dropping back off to sleep when he felt a gentle hand on his arm. "You ok?" his eyes flew open and he looked at her startled.
"You and I are going to go down into the bathroom and I'm" she got to her feet and tugged him to his. "Feed you" she pushed him out into the aisle and he groaned a little, but knew that he had no other choice but to but to obey and he with each step he took, he found himself growing weaker.
Pulling open the small cubicle door he slipped inside with her just behind him and he watched her close and lock the door.
"How are we doing this?" she asked him, moving a little closer to him in the cramped space.
"I'll sit and you sit on my lap" he sat down on the closed toilet seat and patted his lap with a little smile. "I don't bite" he winked at her and she folded her arms across her chest and gave him a look before she started to giggle, covering her mouth for fear that they both would get caught in there together and she could just imagine what they would all think they were doing and feeling like a naughty teenager she sat down on his lap, putting her arm around his neck for support and it blew his mind and he prayed to whoever was listening that it wouldn't show on his face.
Bonnie moved her hair aside for him and he shook his head and picked up her arm and slowly rolled up the sleeve a little, exposing her wrist, his fingertips brushing the skin on her inner wrist and he loved the tingling feelings their skin to skin contact brought to him and he gasped and quickly turned it into a cough and her eyes flew wider in alarm.
"Dry throat" he lied to her and hated himself for it. "Are you sure about this?" she nodded. "Because I can wait until we land" she shook her head, smiling at him.
He lowered his mouth to her wrist and parted his lips. He loved the feeling of his mouth touching her smooth soft skin. He shook himself to try and keep focus of what he was doing and as gently as he could, he bit down into her wrist and instantly pulled back when he heard her moan.
"I'm so sorry" he said flustered. "I tried not to hurt you" he could feel the pricking of tears behind his eyes before they ebbed away again when she smiled at him, her green eyes shining with her own unique inner light, lighting him up from the inside.
"You didn't hurt me" she promised him and lowering his mouth back to her arm, he started to drink.
He took her blood into his mouth and it sent of rockets exploding inside his head. He couldn't think with words anymore. He saw pictures of beaches, candy apples, fireworks and smiling children dancing behind his closed eyelids. The potency of her blood almost knocked him for six. Each taste bud had its own little current of electricity racing along his tongue before coming together and bursting with so many different flavours that he wanted more and more. But he knew that he couldn't lose control with her. He would never be able to forgive himself if he had hurt her or worse, killed her. He would never be able to stand up again. His world would fall into complete darkness and he would surrender himself to the first sun rise without his daylight ring. If he had to live without her.
"You look so much better" she grinned at him when he pulled his head back from her wrist. "You look like yourself again"
"I feel like me again" he beamed back at her and his whole being shook when she wiped at her blood on his mouth before getting to her feet and suddenly the plane lurched and she ended back on his lap with both his arms around her, looking into each other's faces.
He couldn't help himself, he moved his face a little closer to hers and when she didn't back up he leant in a little more, his mouth a mere inch from hers and she closed her eyes and he knew this was it. The big moment when he was finally going to kiss her and he closed his eyes and parted his lips a little, making a move to fill the gap between them.
"Please return to your seats" there was a bang on the door and Bonnie leapt in the air in fright and fell backwards onto the floor and he tugged her back onto her feet and followed her out of the bathroom back to their seats and he could have happily thrown that steward from the plane for ruining what could have been the start of something great.
"Do you even know if she wants to kiss you?" his inner voice piped up again and he sat sullen in his seat while he waited for the plane to land and desperately wanted her to feel the same way about him as he felt for her. He knew that she cared for him, even to go as far as to love him. But did she love him like he loved her. A love that he had only recently allowed himself to know. So how was he ever going to let her know it, too? He just prayed that whatever her feelings for him were, he wasn't about to ruin the best friendship he has ever had in his long life.
They stood outside the airport trying to get a cab and he was starting to lose his cool again every time someone bumped into them or stepped on Bonnie's foot and each time he had to look into her eyes to calm him down enough to stop him from tearing someone's head off. It was warm and they both badly needed to change out of their clothes.
"There" he pointed through the thick crowd of people and grabbing a hold of her hand he led her through the crowd and onto the side of the road, passing people out of their way in his haste to get her out of there. "You do not want this cab" he told the man that was just about to climb into the back. "You want us to have it, don't you?" the man nodded and Damon smiled, patting him on the shoulder. "Why, thank you" he watched the man step aside and he turned and smiled at Bonnie's scowling face. "I said I would get us a cab and I did, judgey" he motioned for her to go in and he jumped in behind her. "You are going to love this country as much as I" he stopped talking when he almost said her. "As much as I do" he said, amending his thoughts.
"I think I just might, cab thief" she elbowed him playfully in the ribs and settled down next to him for the long ride out to the house and leaning her head on his shoulder she watched the airport slowly drifting away to be replaced by countryside.
He sat there trying not to move too much to disturb her head on his shoulder. He longed to reach out and put his arm around her, to hold her even more closely to him. But fear of rejection stopped him from doing the only thing he wanted to do at that moment. Take her in his arms and kiss her until she stole his very breath away.
"Everything is so beautiful here" she said in wonder at his side and he turned and looked over the top of her head at the scenery as it flashed past them.
"Not as beautiful as you" he badly wanted to say, but again his fear of her rejecting him froze the words inside his mouth and so he simply said. "It is"
Bonnie shifted a little next to him and looked up into his face. "So" she smiled at him. "Who are these people that you compelled to take care of the house for you"
Damon smiled back down at her and shook his head. "I didn't compel anyone" he laughed lightly, feeling amused that she would assume that he had to compel every one that he met.
"How come" she asked him, intrigued now and he felt it. "Did you pay them?"
He shook his head again, the bright smile still shining from his gaze as he looked down at her. "You may find this hard to believe, but there are some people in this world that actually like me for, me" She pulled a face at him and she started to laugh. "Hey, Miss Bennett" he slipped his arm around her shoulder and squeezed her a little tightly. "Is it so hard to believe that people like me?"
She shook her head, still giggling and he couldn't help but chuckle too, her laugh was too infectious. "You like me" he teased her with a little wink. "Don't you?" he frowned down at her, his heart beating too fast again and he feared that he would pass out with the anxiety of not knowing.
Bonnie nodded and gave him a serious look and his heart stopped beating with his excitement. "Of course I do, now" she playfully elbowed him in the ribs again and he hugged her to him a little more, resting his face on the top of her head. "In the beginning I hated you. But now" she shifted slightly; looking up at the side of his face with a beaming smile that he knew only he brought out in her. "I kind of love you" she wrinkled her nose, her eyes shining brightly up at him and his heart started to swell that little bit more.
"Me too" he squeezed her again just as the car took a left turn and he almost fell over and crushed her. "You ok?" he asked her, concern radiating out of every pore and she started to laugh.
"Threw yourself at me like a common bar whore why don't you" she laughed and he laughed along with her, slipping his arm back around her shoulders and she laid her head back on his chest.
"Back to the question" he said softly, closing his eyes. "You are going to love Alba and Carnina" she nodded underneath him and he started to relax that little bit more, being so close to her always calmed him and he loved it.
They stood at the front door and he looked down at her standing at his side, her eyes were wide and a look of awe flashed across them.
"You bought this house?" she asked him turning to look at him standing next to her and he shook his head with a little smile. "You stole this house" she gasped in shook, not sure how to go about that one. "How can you steal a house this size? It is bigger than your house back home"
Damon slipped his arm around her shoulders, looking up at the house again. "I have a confession to make" he told her and she pulled herself out of his hold and looked up at him, confusion written all over her face.
"This house does or did, belong to Alberto and Giuseppina, my paternal grandparents. When they died, they left it to my father, their oldest son. And when" he went and sat down on the low wall and she joined him, both looking back down at the vast front garden. "Stefan killed our father, we both inherited the house. But because we became vampires, and were thought to have died in the vampire raid back in eighteen sixty four when our own father shot us for trying to protect Katherine. The house became public property. But in the early twenties, I came here and got it back. And by compulsion. So I guess you can say that I did steal it" he turned and looked at her, his eyes bright. "But only to get back what was rightfully mine"
She nodded at him. "But why didn't Stefan ever tell Elena" she stopped talking, not wanting to ruin the moment by bringing up his dead girlfriend's name, but he simply shrugged it off, pretending not to be effected by the mere mention of her name, but she knew that it brought to him a great deal of pain and so she placed her hand on his knee.
"I have another confession" he looked away from her, not wanting to see the look she was about to give him. "I haven't told Stefan that the estate was back in our names"
"Good" she said and he spun on the wall and looked at her in surprise. "Because here you and I can remain to be safe. After all if no one even knows about this place, then no one can drag it out of Stefan or anyone else"
He always liked her way of thinking, and loved it whenever she surprised him with a different reaction to what he had thought she would have. "Want to go and see something from my childhood?" she nodded and leaping to his feet he held out his hand for her and his heart swelled even more when she took it. "I think you are going to love this" he grinned at her, pulling her up gently to her feet and holding her hand he led her around to the back of the house, to an even bigger garden and her eyes opened wide again.
"My grandmothers rose garden" he whispered to her. "One place she always took me as a child and one place that I have Alba to tend with care"
"They're beautiful" she whispered, the sight of the flowers in full bloom taking her breath away and taking her hand he led her through the flowers and onto a small path that led deeper into the garden.
"This is it" he shielded his eyes from the bright sun as he gazed up at the treehouse. "This was a gift from my grandmother for my sixth birthday"
"Wow" was all she could bring herself to say, watching him make his way up the flight of stairs that led onto a small veranda.
"Come on" he looked back down at her standing there, still watching him. "I want to show you inside"
She climbed the winding steps and met him on the veranda and opening the door he ducked inside and she followed after him. "This is a tree house?"
He nodded as she took in the big room with its wood carvings of woodland creatures and the tiny wooden furniture. "It is something else, isn't it?"
"It's amazing" she sat down on a window seat, hardly believing her own eyes anymore.
"Whenever we came to visit, Stefan and I used to spend all of our time in here" he told her, swallowing down a lump of nostalgia as it hit the back of his throat, hard. "And when I became a teenager, I still used to come here to hide out from the world and to think about life" he sat down on the window seat opposite her, looking at the wood carvings on the ceiling. "When I became a vampire, the first decade was a painful one. What with the whole craving for blood and missing Katherine. The pain overwhelmed me and that was when I came back here and got the house back. I used to sit in here for hours on end, the blood lust driving me half crazy. And it was here, in this very treehouse, where I learnt to manage my lust for it. This treehouse has been both my saviour and my rock over the years" he looked across at her, the stretch of time flowing back like invisible hands to touch his very soul again. "My father used to drink too much and then he would get handsy with us. I used to bring Stefan here to hide him from father's wrath"
"Damon" Bonnie whispered to him, love dripping from that one single word and flowing into him and he had never felt that kind of love since he was a little boy sitting on his mother's lap while she read to him his favourite book.
"It is ok" he reassured her. "I got over my father a very long time ago"
"Damon is that you" they both looked towards the door when they heard a soft female voice calling out to him.
"Carnina" he got to his feet and went outside and Bonnie followed behind him and standing next to him she gazed down at the soft face of the old woman standing at the base of the tree and he flew down the winding steps and into her arms. "Still has beautiful as ever" he hugged her close, planting a kiss on her forehead. "I want you to meet someone" he turned her around and beckoned Bonnie from the tree. "This is Bonnie"
"Hello" Bonnie smiled, holding her hand out of the old woman to shake, but she ignored it and pulled her in for a hug.
"Hello, Bonnie" Carnina hugged her tightly, squashing the air out of her lungs. "You must be very special to out Damon here, he has never brought a girl home to us before"
"Never" Bonnie asked her, looking up at Damon, who shook his head.
"Never" Carnina replied, taking Bonnie's hand and leading her back towards the house. "You both must be hungry from the flight. Let's go inside and have breakfast" she smiled back at Damon following behind her. "Alba can't wait to see you again"
"How is he?" Damon asked with an emotion that Bonnie had never heard him display before.
"He is doing a lot better now" she responded, leading them both down a new path. "A whole new lease of life with the new hips"
"So no stopping the old fool" Damon chuckled from Bonnie's side as he stepped into pace with them both.
"You'll see" she laughed back, opening the back door and leading them both inside.
Breakfast was amazing and she couldn't seem to eat enough and it seemed to please Damon. Who was now sat next to her on the long bench.
"I have missed your breakfasts" Damon smiled across the table at Carnina, picking up a strawberry and kiwi sushi ball and dipping it in the natural yoghurt before popping it into his mouth.
"I have never had fruit sushi for breakfast before" Bonnie told them all, wondering why she never had.
"Then here you are going to be so indulged that going home we are going to need a forklift truck to carry us both" Damon winked at her. "Try these" he picked up a few different fruit sushi and put them on her plate before adding two small bowls of natural yoghurt and raspberry sauce. "Try the three together" he licked his fingers and smiled back at her. "So what have you guys got planned for today?" he asked Alba and Carnina.
"Just pottering in the garden now that the weather is starting to turn for the better" Alba replied. "What about you guys?" he looked from Damon to Bonnie.
"I thought we could go into the city" he put his coffee mug back down on the table and turned to face Bonnie. "We had to leave our things back at the hotel in DC"
"Oh I love shopping" Carnina cried out in joy. "Why don't you boys stay here and potter while I take Bonnie into the city and get what you both need. It will be an excuse for me to show her around and get a new dress that I have had my eye on for a while now. Plus" she looked across at Bonnie with a fond smile. "It will give us girls a chance to get to know each other without you both under our feet"
Damon looked at Bonnie in question and she nodded. "I would like that" she said before she fell into heaven with Damon's flavour combination.
"That settles it then" Carnina said as she got to her feet. "You boys wash up. We are going shopping"
Bonnie rose to her feet and froze, she had no money since being forced by Julian's goons to leave her things at the hotel and she opened her mouth to speak, but Damon took her hand in his and thrust something into it and wrapped her fingers around it and leaning down he whispered into her ear. "Get whatever we need and don't worry about the cost" he kissed her on the cheek and looking down at her hand she saw a black card in her hand and gasped out loud, looking back up at him. "I am going to need a new jacket, jeans and some tops" he climbed over the bench and started to clear up the dishes. "Go spend. Have fun" he told her and slipping the card into the back pocket of her jeans she followed Carnina out to the garage.
She sat in the car and looked out of the window, feeling the card burning a hole in her back pocket and she started to worry her lip. She didn't feel right taking his money. But she had nothing and so that left her with no other choice than to accept it. But she vowed to herself that she would pay him back every single penny. No matter how long it would take her to do so.
The car ride was a nice one. She had learnt so much about Carnina and Alba. She found out that Alba was a witch that had traded his magic back in the early fifties when he was just twenty four years old to save the life of Carnina when a power hungry witch had put it in danger. Bonnie thought that it was the most romantic thing she had ever heard.
The first shop they hit was cool. Not just in interior but with all the air conditioning they had. They were both treated like royalty and every whim was being catered too. Bonnie had never had that experience before and she didn't know if she liked it or not. But looking at the price tags she knew why. The whole place screamed designer at her and she glanced across at Carnina taking things from rails and handing them to her like she shopped there all the time. Maybe she does she thought to herself. Even the sale girls knew her by first name.
"Oh no, you don't" Carnina told her when she went to sit down on the couch. "You have these to try on" she led her through a curtained area and gently pushed her towards one of the changing rooms and Bonnie opened the door and stepped into a room that was almost the same size of her bathroom back home and dumped the clothes on the chair.
"So how long have you and Damon been together?" Carnina called through the door to her as she undressed.
"We are just friends" Bonnie shouted back out to her, slipping a cream and gold top on over her head. "He is with someone else"
"Doesn't look that way to me" Carnina called back to her in reply and Bonnie stopped and stared at the back of the closed door.
"He is with my friend, Elena" she picked up the pants and held them up.
"He is in love with you Bella" Carnina replied and Bonnie shook her head, her heart skipping a tiny beat.
"No" Bonnie told her tugging on a pair of black silk Capri pants. "He is in love with Elena, not me" she opened the door and stepped out of the cubicle and surveyed herself in the long mirror.
"I will tell you this" Carnina came behind her and smiled at her reflection. "He has always thought he was in love with her. But I have known Damon since I was eighteen years old and I'm eighty three next week and I have never known him to speak about anyone the way he does with you. Not even Elena"
Bonnie spun on her feet and looked into chocolate eyes.
"With Elena, he was always trying to change. Always trying to become a different man to fit into what she thought he should be. And from my experience of love, that isn't anything close to love. And judging from the photo that he sent us, she pulled him in because he unknowingly wanted to cling onto Katherine" she pushed Bonnie back into the changing room and handed her an emerald wrap dress. "He is very protective of his emotions. He has been hurt and lived through more pain than any single person that I have ever met and so he unconsciously hides from his true feelings. Clouding them with another, safer approach. So you see" Bonnie heard her through the door as she yanked the dress over her head. "It is you that he is in love with. Elena was just an escape for him. Sort of an infatuation"
"Really" Bonnie replied opening the door and stepping in front of the mirror again.
"I would stake everything I have on it" Carnina put both her hands on her shoulders and smiled at her in the mirror. "Your soul is an exact match for Damon's and nothing and no one will ever amount to his feelings for you"
"But we both hated each other in the beginning" Bonnie said as she turned to look at her over her shoulder.
"I don't think it was hatred you both felt" she watched Carnina sit down on the couch, sipping from her coffee cup. "I think it was fear that both made you feel that way. Fear of what you both could be become if you only let it"
Bonnie sat down next to her in the dress, the long side split exposing one of her legs when she crossed them. "I used to fear vampires, that much is true. But"
Carnina shook her head, placing the cup back down onto the side table and turning back to her, she took both her hands in her own. "I sense you have been hurt in the past" Bonnie shook her head, trying to think of any boy leaving her before she met Damon. "It wasn't a former boyfriend, Bella. It goes much deeper than that. A greater love that left you"
"My mother" Bonnie gasped when she realised what Carnina was really saying to her. "She abandoned me when I was only a child"
"And that great fear of being abandoned by her has unconsciously made you fear it happening again and so you pushed him away" Bonnie nodded, her eyes wide. "And his fear of death made him push you away too and go to what he knew to be safe, Elena. And that is why he wrongly assumed love there and why he drove himself like a madman to get back a little of what safety net he felt whenever he was with Katherine and so"
"It was never Elena" Bonnie interjected and Carnina nodded. "But how"
"He already knows my dear" she told Bonnie whose face fell into shock again. "I can see it in the way he looks at you. Written in each smile he gives you. Damon is smitten and I think he fears your rejection too much to make a move to show you how he feels. Due to his past rejection from the greatest love of his life"
"His mother" Bonnie whispered, staring at the framed fashion posters on the wall.
"Exactly"
"But what now?" She asked her, turning back to face her.
"You show him how you feel" Carnina got to her feet and pulled Bonnie up on hers. "Change back into your clothes. We need to get Damon some things. Then Alba and I are taking a much needed vacation. We always do when Damon arrives and you both need your space to find each other"
Nodding she made her way back into the cubicle with her head spinning from the realisation that she was in love with him. Closing her eyes she smiled to herself as she pulled the dress back over her head. Excitements fluttering in her stomach, making her feel nauseous. She was going to show Damon how she felt even if it killed her. She just didn't know how yet. But she wasn't going to let a little thing called fear she had always clung into, to stop her.
Alba got up from the flower bed with Damon's help and they both headed back into the house to wash up.
"How long have you and Bonnie been together?" Alba asked him handing Damon a hand towel to dry his hands and he leant back against the sink.
"We are just friends" he told him with a sorrow to his tone. "And I don't know if we will ever be anything more. I can't tell with her" he admitted to his old friend, shaking his head. "It seems that for the first time in my life, I cannot tell if she feels anything for me other than friendship"
"And it pains you?" he asked him and Damon nodded, handing back the towel for Alba to use.
"Yes" he hated being so weak, but he couldn't help it and it was no use lying to someone who knew him better then he even knew himself.
"So, Damon" Alba said as he handed Damon a glass of scotch and he looked up from stroking their cat Remy. "You really do love this girl, don't you?" He sat down and Damon nodded.
"And it frightens the hell out of me" he finally allowed himself to admit it out loud and a feeling of relief washed over him.
"I have never seen you look this way about any other woman since I have known you" Alba admitted with a little smile, hating seeing him in so much emotional turmoil.
"But it was never love at first sight" Damon told him, still looking down at the cat he continued to stroke on his lap, the cats purring seeming to calm his fast heart a little. "In fact she annoyed the hell out of me"
"Damon there is no such thing as love at first sight. There is only love when you take a second look"
Damon's head snapped up and he stared at his old friend. "What do you mean?"
"Love at first sight is what sells movies and books. It doesn't really exist. The thing that makes you fall is lust. Just purely sexual. A physical thing. Love comes from a much deeper place than that. Lust is all well and good. Because let's face it. You have to have a physical attraction in order for the love to bloom deeper. But love based on friendship first is the greatest kind of love that there is"
Damon didn't really know how to respond to that, but he had to say something. "But you and Carnina have been in love since you were both teens"
Alba shook his head and gave a little throaty chuckle. "I have to confess something" he sat up in his chair and leant a little closer towards Damon. "When I first met Carnina I couldn't stand the sound of her voice. All sugary soft and languid, it made me want to tear off my own ears and stuff them into her mouth just so I wouldn't have to endure it anymore. But, once I took that second look, I was smitten. Just like I can see you are with Bonnie" he refilled Damon's glass and placed the bottle back on the table. "And did you take a second look?"
"I did" Damon was slowly realising what he had known all along, he was in love with Bonnie and had been for years in fact. "The first few months I did. But why didn't I realise that?"
"Because you wanted to protect yourself my friend" Alba grinned at Damon's shocked face and chuckled a little.
"You might be right" he frowned down at their cat now sleeping on his lap. "I have been such a fool"
"There is nothing wrong with being a fool, Damon" he told him in a matter of fact way. "Just as long as you stop being a fool and become the man you are" he looked across at Damon and met his eyes. "Carnina and I are going down to the coast for a few days, we are leaving in a few hours" he told him. "You both need to sort this out before you accidentally lose each other for good"
Damon's heart started to beat too fast again. He couldn't find any words to speak and so he nodded and sipped from his glass as the cat leapt from his lap and ran out of the room.
"Ah" Alba said getting to his feet and draining his glass. "The girls are home"
Damon rose to his feet, his nerves starting to get the better of him and he was nervous at seeing Bonnie again and swallowing down a little lump he stood there and waited for the living room door to open.