Disclaimer:
The title of the story is taken from the song "Holding On And Letting Go" by "Ross Copperman".
I do not own the mentioned song all rights belong to their rightful owners.
Unfortunately, I do not own any of the characters nor do I own "the Originals" or "the Vampire Diaries" all rights belong to their rightful owners.
Holding on and Letting go
He stood there in the cemetery, wondering how he got to this point. How could he let this happen? He knew that he was the only one to blame...
oOo
It was two years ago when he first noticed. His little sister has grown thinner and thinner since she was human again. At first he thought nothing of it, assuming that it was only the stress of getting accustomed to her new life. But as he stood there before her bathroom door, hearing her emptying the contents of her stomach after dinner, he suspected that there might be more to it.
"Bekah, are you allright love?" he asked, his voice thick with concern as he knocked on the door.
"I'm fine, Nik. Go away." she called back, flushing the toilet.
He knew that it was a lie. "Bekah, open the door." he demanded calmly. He was angry at her. Angry for lying to him. Angry for her willingly choosing to harm herself like this. Did she not know that she meant the world to him? That he couldn't live with himself should anything happen to her?
She opened the door, glaring at him in silence.
That night he made her promise to stop harming herself like that.
oOo
He spent the next weeks watching her closely, making sure that she kept her promise. She ate, he made sure of that. Although she didn't seem to look any healthier, he never found her emptying the contents of her stomach again.
oOo
A few months later she lost consciousness after coming home from a run. That was something she was doing daily, running. He didn't think any of it. He assumed that the exercise was if anything healthy for her. But as she entered through the front door and collapsed to the floor, concern filled his every cell.
He brought her to hospital. His hybrid blood had no effect on her since she was mortal again.
As he looked at his frighteningly skinny, fragile little sister in a cold hospital bed with a tube down her throat, he blamed himself for it. He shouldn't have let his guard down. He should have known that she was secretly emptying the contents of her stomach on her daily runs. Should have known that she only ran to lose what little weight she had left.
oOo
Once she was out of hospital, he spent all day with her. Always keeping a watchful eye on her, looking for anything suspicious, making sure that she always ate enough. She still did not look any healthier though and he was slowly losing himself in desperation.
oOo
The next time she lost consciousness, she did not wake. The doctors told him a lot of things he did not fully understand. But what he did understand was that they doubted that she would ever wake again.
He spent every day and every night at her bedside talking to her. Wishing, hoping for a miracle. The sight of her still frightened him though... She was so small, so skinny, so fragile with a tube in her throat that breathed for her and needles in her arm. Machines kept her alive now. He couldn't help but feel as if it was he who lay on the bed and not his sweet little sister.
oOo
The night her heart stopped, he felt his heart stop as well. He watched in fear as they tried to reanimate her, sending electricity through her fragile little body. He hoped for a miracle. Wished for a miracle. He would have even gone so far as to pray for it, had he not known that it was pointless to pray to gods that do not exist. Had he not known that she would have hated him, if he stooped so low as to pray to human made fantasies to save the life of his little sister.
The moment they stopped the reanimation and declared the time of death, time froze. He sank to his knees, wanting to die as well. Hot tears streaming down his face as he realized that he was stuck in this horrible world without his sweet little sister. Hating himself for letting this happen, for not doing more. He was trapped in this body, trapped in this life with no way of ending his misery. With no way of joining her in the endless nothingness of death.
oOo
He stood there in the cemetery, wondering how he got to this point. How could he let this happen? He knew that he was the only one to blame...
Author's Note:
So this ended up a bit darker than intended… Anyway, thank you for spending your precious time on reading this one shot. I hope you liked it, if so, please be so kind as to leave a review! :D