I do not own Vampire Academy or the songs in this story. They belong to Richelle Mead and Lady Antebellum, and whoever else I may mention. Enjoy :)

RPOV

It was 6 months since he had left. 6 months since I had felt okay. 6 months since my heart had been broken.

He had promised to call, promised me that we could be together again. But he never did.

After the attack on the school, I had saved him that day in the caves. But in risking my life to save him, refusing to leave his side in the hospital, crying tears of relief and joy when he woke up, I had given away our secret.

3 days after Dimitri had been released from hospital, he had been 'released' from his position as a school Guardian, in order to 'recover fully'. In truth, he had been fired, and I had been unable to follow.

Now, Lissa and I had graduated, and I was still her Guardian. It hadn't been easy to get back on track, but they had been easier on me than they had on Dimitri, after my mother convinced them I was just an 'impressionable young girl, seeking comfort in times of stress.' I hadn't seen her reason for this at the time, hating her for blaming Dimitri. But I had since learned that she had only said this after his punishment had been decided- she was doing what was best for me without jeopardising him any more.

It had taken her a while to come around to the truth, but she knew that we really had been in love. I really did love him.

And that was why I hadn't called him, either.

I'd been planning on calling him, texting him, anything, just as soon as I got out of the Academy. I knew he wouldn't call me in case he got me into trouble. But when the time came, I'd been unable to do it.

It was my fault this whole thing had happened. I'd been the one who had tried so hard to win his attention in the first place, and had ultimately blown our cover. In my place, he would have kept his mask in place, and saved the tears for when nobody was around to witness them.

But being me, I'd done the opposite. I might as well have put my relationship status on a billboard, or spray-painted it on the wall of the Guardian's building.

It was my fault he was gone. Dimitri had been forced to give up the prestigious position as the last Dragomir's Guardian, lost his job at the Academy in general, and had a black mark on his record that would most likely prevent him from getting any good jobs.

"Especially when the guy he's guarding has a teenage daughter." I muttered, slamming the door of the apartment I shared with Lissa and Christian.

Yeah, I know right. My idea of perfection.

When Christian had secured his place as a permanent, if irritating, fixture in my future, I hadn't minded all that much. Because in my mind, I'd be able to get back at him for keeping me up all night with his and Lissa's activities by taking part in some of my own.

But now, my 'activity partner' was gone, and the only thing that drowned out the noise from next door was the sound of my own sobbing every evening.

I flopped down on my bed, after checking Lissa was okay. I'd been checking the perimeter, and it was cold outside.

It had been decided that it would be safer for Lissa to live away from Court than at the heart of the Moroi politics. After all, it had been proven at the Academy that wards did not necessarily keep us safe. It had also been decided that for now, Lissa should attend college in the human world, and we could disappear off the radar. We had done it for 2 years before, and now I was even more experienced at keeping her safe.

I was pulled out of my thoughts by strong feeling coming through the bond. Lissa and Christian were getting... friendly, not yet realising I was here.

Trying to distract myself from the happy couple's so-much-better-than-mine love life, I decided to go for a drive. It was Friday; my day off anyway. I'd only come back early because I hated leaving them alone. Lissa and Christian wouldn't even miss me, and they they would be safe with Eddie, who had been assigned as Lissa's Guardian in Dimitri's place.

I opened the door of the yellow Mustang Lissa had given me as a late birthday present. She'd deliberately got me a convertible, since I often took trips like these away during the Moroi night, when the sun was out and Lissa was safe from Strigoi.

As I put the key in the ignition and heard the familiar purr of the engine, I was already thinking of the road ahead. I wouldn't go in any particular direction, just see when the road took me, and turn around when I was nearly out of fuel. As much as I loved my baby, it had terrible gas mileage.

As I turned off of our street and joined the main road, I turned the radio on, flicking through the stations until I got to one that wasn't more static than music.
It was a country channel. Great.
A new song was just starting.

She left town early on a Friday
Headin' down to family in New Orleans
Said she needed to feel the sun on her face,
Talk it out with herself,
Try to get things straight.

The autumn sun shone down into the car, and the wind whipped my hair around. The sound of the engine cut through the peaceful countryside, but it made me feel some semblance of being alive. That was a rare feeling for me now.
All I knew was the burning pain in my chest, and with every breath I took I missed him.
Lord all I know is I don't wanna breathe.
I wish I was cold as stone,
Then I wouldn't feel a thing.
I wish I didn't have this heart,
Then I wouldn't know the sting of the rain.
This song wasn't exactly helping things, either. I was, for once, trying to outrun the past. But I should have known better.
I could stand strong and still,
Watching you walk away.
I wouldn't hurt like this,
Or feel so all alone.
I wish I was cold as stone.
It was worse than ever today, and I knew the reason why.
I looked at the date on the dash.
The day Lissa and I were taken back to the Academy.
The day I met Dimitri.
I had been away from him now for as long as I had known him- 6 months. But the ache in my chest hadn't faded at all. If anything, it was worse.
I felt my eyes burn, unshed tears backing up behind them. I put my foot down a little harder.
Almost turned around in Mississippi,
Pulled over on the shoulder along the way.
The fuck? Was the person singing this song watching me right now or something?
I turned off the road after nearly losing control and smashing into an oncoming jeep.
Thought by now, I'd be fine
But all these tears are blurring every line.
I should have been over him by now, right?
But then I remembered how in synch we were, how he'd held me in the cabin... and knew that I'd never be whole without that, as I'd never felt so complete as when I was with him.
And I think back to when you were mine.
Ok, this song was getting really weird now...
I wish I was cold as stone,
Then I wouldn't feel a thing.
I wish I didn't have this heart,
Then I wouldn't know the sting of the rain.
I could stand on my own,
Letting your memory fade.
But every word, every touch was still burned into my brain. When I closed my eyes, I saw his looking back at me.
I wouldn't hurt like this,
Or feel so all alone.
I wish I was cold as stone.
Yeah, it's gonna take forever to get over you.
And the worst part was, I didn't want to move on. I just wanted him back.
Oh, and I don't think this pain's gonna go away.
It was like a knife in my chest, every breath hurting worse than any physical wound ever could.
Oh, scars left when it's said and done remain.
The ties between us had been cut by someone else, in their selfish acts that were supposed to be right and honest, but seemed more evil anything else.
I wish I was cold as stone.
Then I wouldn't feel a thing.
I wish I didn't have this heart,
Then I wouldn't know the sting of the rain.
I could stand strong and still,
Watching you walk away.
It was then I knew, I wasn't strong enough to just let this go. Whatever they said, whatever honest intentions I'd tried to see through, they drifted away like leaves in the fall. Selfish as it may be; I couldn't go on like this any longer.
I wouldn't hurt like this,
Or feel so all alone.
I wish I was cold as stone.

As the song ended, I put my arms on the steering wheel, resting my head on them.
There was only so much pain I could endure before I snapped.
Letting go wasn't an option. Driving off into the distance and leaving everything behind wasn't an option.
I did the only thing I had left.
I picked up the phone, and dialled a number I had memorised almost a year ago.

DPOV

I sat at my desk, flipping through paperwork that I signed absent-mindedly.
How did my life come to this?
Because you slept with your student. A voice whispered in the back of my mind.

I held a stapler over a stack of papers and slammed it down violently, causing the Guardian next to me to give me a disapproving glare. I stared back coldly.

They had no time for me here. I was no longer Dimitri Belikov, respected young Guardian known for my skill and strength when it came to fighting Strigoi.

I was just that bastard who took advantage of an underage girl.

Frustrated, I pushed the hair out of my eyes.
None of them knew. None of them understood what it was to love someone, regardless of if it was 'suitable' or not. None of them had found somebody who made them feel as if they were the luckiest man in the world.

I felt my features soften as I thought about Rose. My Roza.
I missed her so much.

Nobody else had even seen through my shell to know who I really was, and no one else had ever held enough of my heart to break it.
If I could, would I go back and change things? Save my job, our reputations?
Never.
And for that selfish reason, I didn't call her, though I wanted more than almost anything to hear her voice, her laugh, even her irritating jokes just once more.

Each time I picked up the phone, it took all my self-control not to call her. After all, she hadn't called me. She was moving on with her life, and I couldn't blame her for that. More than anything, I wanted her to be happy, even if it wasn't with me.
Even though I wished it was with me.

That was why every time I turned my phone on, I hoped I'd find a message from her. Every time I heard someone calling me, I hoped it would be Rose trying to reach me.
And every time it wasn't, it broke my heart all over again.
But still I didn't call her.

How could I, after I had ruined her life? I didn't even know how she was coping now. I knew that she was guardian Lissa, and Christian, along with Eddie, as stories of the Dragomir princess and her disgraced boyfriend and best friend were always circulating. Especially around me.

I was broken from my reverie by the sound of my boss shouting from the doorway of his office.
"OK, everyone. Clear off. Just because you don't have lives, doesn't mean I don't."
One of the other guys shouted back.
"Got a hot date tonight, Johnson?"

There were sniggers from around the room.

"As a matter of fact, yes, I have. Now get out of my sight, you know I can't leave until the rest of you are gone. So bugger off and I can lock up."

I pushed the stack of papers off my desk and into the open drawer beneath. They could wait until tomorrow.

Grabbing my duster of the back of my chair, I stood up to leave. I hadn't exactly taken my time, but I was still one of the last to leave.
But as I did so, I noticed the date on the calendar at the side of the room.

A year ago today, I had finally tracked down the two teenage runaways in Portland.
A year ago today, I had met Rose.

I stood still, gaze locked on the calendar, unable to move.
"Belikov! That means you too! Get your ass out of here! Just because someone pulled the plug on your last little romance, it doesn't give you the right to screw up mine!"

I slowly turned to meet the gaze of my boss. He blanched a little under my glare.
"I'm leaving." I assured him, before sweeping out the door, slamming it shut behind me, right in the little prick's face.
Roza would have been proud.

I got into the black SUV that no one had bothered to take back off me after I was sent away from St. Vladimir's in it. They probably didn't care enough.

I didn't feel like going back to my tiny, cold, empty apartment, all I could afford on my meagre office wage. So instead I just drove, turning the radio on and flipping to my favourite country station.
A new song was just starting.

She left town early on a Friday
Headin' down to family in New Orleans
Said she needed to feel the sun on her face,
Talk it out with herself,
Try to get things straight.
Lord all I know is I don't wanna breathe.
I wish I was cold as stone,

Well, I could relate to that. Before I'd met Rose, I'd kept up a wall around me. But she'd knocked that down, and now I had rebuilt them, but in doing so had only trapped the pain inside, where I was slowly drowning, alone.
Then I wouldn't feel a thing.
I wish I didn't have this heart,
Then I wouldn't know the sting of the rain.
I could stand strong and still,
Watching you walk away.
I wouldn't hurt like this,
Or feel so all alone.
I wish I was cold as stone.
My grip on the steering wheel was like a vice, my knuckles showing white through my skin. If I wasn't careful, I'd roll the car on the next corner. I pulled over, and tried to calm myself down.
Despite everything that I had tried to teach Roza, my self control was wearing thin. One of those days I would punch one of the guys at work when they made a comment about how far I had fallen, or young girls.
Almost turned around in Mississippi,
Pulled over on the shoulder along the way.
Thought by now, I'd be fine
But all these tears are blurring every line.
A single tear rolled down my cheek, and I realised how true those lyrics were.
All the lines I had drawn for myself, all the self-control I had fought so hard to build up. The boundaries between right and wrong were fuzzy, and were in different places to those of the rest of the world. Now, I really wanted to hit something. I felt like Rose had looked during her darkness attack.
And I think back to when you were mine.
I thought about all the times Roza and I had shared, all the training sessions, all the smiles and jokes and laughter.
I was taken back to the cabin, feeling Roza's warm skin under mine, her smile and the love in her eyes as she looked at me. The promises we had made to each other, the whispered I love yous. They way I had felt whole for the last time in 6 months.
I wish I was cold as stone,
Then I wouldn't feel a thing.
I wish I didn't have this heart,
Then I wouldn't know the sting of the rain.
I could stand on my own,
Letting your memory fade.
I wouldn't hurt like this,
Or feel so all alone.
I wish I was cold as stone.
Yeah, it's gonna take forever to get over you.
After loving Roza, in all her crazy, wild beauty, I knew I would never find another to compare to her. She had entered my life like a hurricane, and left in the same way, leaving chaos behind.
Oh, and I don't think this pain's gonna go away.
How could I go on like this?
Oh, scars left when it's said and done remain.
I wish I was cold as stone.
Then I wouldn't feel a thing.
I wish I didn't have this heart,
Then I wouldn't know the sting of the rain.
I could stand strong and still,
Watching you walk away.
I couldn't do this anymore.
I wouldn't hurt like this,
Or feel so all alone.
I wish I was cold as stone.
But I wasn't. I was alive, in love, and I couldn't deny it any more.
As selfish as it may be, I couldn't stop myself from picking up my phone, and dialling the number I could never forget.

3rd person POV

There was no reply.
Every time they called the other, the irritating beeping tone was all they got in return, like there was no service.
Neither could work out why, but neither gave up trying.

For a week, they kept calling the other, texting too.
Each of them became more upset and frustrated every day. It was one thing deciding not to call the other, something else entirely to know that they couldn't get in touch even if they needed to.
Neither knew where other was, Rose's location was kept secret in case of Strigoi attacks, and no one knew where Dimitri had disappeared to. He tried to keep under the radar.

They kept trying to call, but a week later, they finally stopped calling, instead trying to think of an alternative...

Hello again everyone :) So this is the new story I promised.
So, Dimitri came off a little colder in this than I intended him to. But I guess that is how he would act without Rose, being so antisocial and all. Keeping to himself would be his way of dealing with the rumours.
Poor Dimka. I'd keep him company ;)

Reviews make Dimitri happy... ;P