Alex Karev stood outside the residency he currently resided in (which just happened to be the house on Queen Anne Hill, where Meredith Grey and Izzie Stevens also lived) and gazed upon the night sky. For once it was not raining, which was a rare occurrence in Seattle, and instead of being cooped up in the house, he took this time to stare at the stars.
Somewhere in the far place of his mind, he wanted to forget her completely. Forget all he'd done for her, and just regain the macho-ness that had once made him the man he wanted to be. He liked to be the Jerk, it was simple as that. Every group has the one person who can be a complete jerk and they like it that way. Those people know the words are hurtful, but they say them to get a rise out of the poor unsuspecting victim. The truth of everything was Alex figured if he could return to being the jerk everyone had known him to be, he would completely forget about Rebecca altogether.
If he returned to being egotistical, that memory of pulling that thing off of her, and seeing her beautiful face all messed up, and almost marking her as dead would die.
If he returned to making rude comments about people, he could pretend he hadn't helped her pick out her face.
And, most importantly, if he went back to being Dr. Evil Spawn (as he was once so cleverly named) he could ultimately forget the fact that she had asked him for a reason to stay, and instead of following his heart as he had wanted he had shoved her away.
Truth be told, he was angry with her. Angry that she had showed up and given him exactly what he had wanted all along, and then took it away from him. Left again, and left him in shambles all over again. He had somehow managed to carry on the first time she had done this horrible thing to him, but this time the pain seemed like it may never go away. Like at any moment the sword that had been thrust in his heart would be pulled out, or twisted, causing him more pain then ever imaginable.
He had driven up her way this summer, hoping to maybe see her somewhere. Hoping to catch one final glimpse of the woman he had let slip through his fingers. Was this how Meredith felt when Derek had chosen Addison over her? What about Cristina when Burke had just up and left her? Or Izzie when Denny had died? He had always been rude to them, sometimes in their toughest moment when they needed it less, and now that he was going through the same thing they all had once, he couldn't believe himself.
When she had showed up at the hospital, and he had seen her beautiful face looking at him, it had been the most amazing feeling in the world. Knowing someone had come back for you, that you were not forgotten was the most powerful feeling he could have possibly felt at that moment. And in that precious moment full of the things he had desired since he had really developed feelings for her, Alex could have swore he was dreaming. Of course, at one point he actually had been, only to be awoken to his pager going off because Norman, his intern had suffered a stroke. He had told Rebecca that he was coming back for her. He told her he would be back, and by the time he was actually able to make it to the on-call room, she was gone and the only thing left in her place was the shirt she had been wearing when he had seen her that morning in the hospital.
The stars teased him. Everywhere he looked he saw his Ava walking away for what seemed like the last time. He wondered how anyone could get up and just carry on after heartbreak. Izzie had been tough, but even after what he had done to her by sleeping with Olivia, he had gotten through the day because he had been able to see her face. Even if she was glaring him down and wishing he was dead, he could smile knowing that she was thinking about him. After Denny had died he had held Izzie in his arms again, and for a moment the whole world felt right. It was as if by fate, someone was telling him that this was his last chance with her and he shouldn't screw it up. But then...Ava had walked into his life, and everything seemed to be going his way. She didn't remember her family, and yeah that was sad, but she was his. She didn't need anyone and neither did he because they had each other.
The glare on his face as he looked at the stars told them to stop going in the shape of Ava's smiling face. That the taunting wasn't right and that he didn't appreciate it. He sighed as he thought to himself and let his thoughts go off on their own. Was she looking at the stars too? Was she happy with her husband? How was the baby doing now? Did she ever think about him? If so, was it as often as he felt his mind slip to meet her? Did she dream about him? Would they ever meet again?
As he sat there, he hadn't even noticed the figure sit down next to him. He only heard the small Ahem by chance, and he looked over at the woman next to him. There was no doubt in his mind that it wasn't Ava. He had already been given his chance and had lost it. The smile and the arm that wrapped around him were oddly comforting.
"Let's go grab a drink." The voice which belonged to Meredith Grey's half sister Lexie suggested. And as Alex took one last look at the stars he had decided that if she could carry on with her life the way it was before the accident he could too.