Muggle Relations
Authors: The dynamic insane duo of the ever zany Evil Story Penguins and the always psychotic Starz n Moonz. Round of applause please. Thankyou, thankyou, we're here all week! (Gives all who applauds chocolates! Hint hint!)
Summary: Dumbledore has planned an excursion for the seventh years to improve Muggle/Wizard Relations. Results: Multiple Pairings
Warning: this is the result of three hours filled with pizza, coke, Orange Bacardi Breezers (sadly all that was available) and one computer.
Rating: R
Disclaimer: you'd think we own them by the way we *use* them, but alas we do not (much tears are shed), buuut, it doesn't stop us from having fun! (rubs hands together, cackling evilly).
Chapter 1 - We're Going To Ibiza!
Dumbledore rose from his seat at the Head Table and addressed the Great Sea Of Heads.
"As you all know, the seventh years have been studying a compulsory class of Muggle Studies known as Muggle Relations." Receives many tired groans from the seventh years. "Yes, yes, seventh years, we get the picture. However, your struggles and complaints have not been in vain. As an end-of- year celebration for the subject, we have organised a little trip for you, kind of an extended 'excursion' for you all to put to good use the skills that you have learnt this year." This time he had their full and undivided attention.
"Where are we going?" asked the now interested Draco Malfoy.
"You will be going to a little tropical island called Ibiza."
He received high fives all round from the muggle borns. The wizard borns looked on curiously, all except Draco who knew the place rather well.
BOO-YEAH!!!!!!! He thought, whilst keeping his features controlled and impassive.
On the other side of the Hall, Dean and Seamus were doing a victory dance around the whole of Gryffindor table whilst Hermione snorted in disgust.
"Hey 'Mione? What's this Bitza place?" Ron asked in a whisper
"It's Ibiza, Ron. Shut up and listen to Dumbledore." Hermione angrily whispered back.
"There will be four teachers attending this trip." Seamus and Dean immediately stopped their victory dance and looked up at the Head Table in undisguised horror. "Myself, Professor McGonagall, Professor Lupin and of course our dear Professor Snape will be attending." At this the entire muggle-born population of Hogwarts burst into barely restrained laughter, imaging Snape at Ibiza.
Harry had fallen off his seat and was doubled up in laughter. A similar situation had arisen on the other side of the hall with Draco also in the same predicament.
Blaise was the first Wizard born to ask, "What's so funny about Ibiza?"
Draco wipping tears from his eyes answered, "It's a Fuck-Island."
Blaise's eyes lit up in wonder, "A Fuck-Island. When do we leave?" the second part he yelled to Dumbledore.
"Tomorrow morning." He replied.
"YES!!!!!!!!" Shouted a chorus of seventh years, who were ALL proceeding in victory dances of their own.
"Now. Seventh Years. I suggest you hop of to your dormitories and start packing!" With this announced, there was a cloud of dust remaining in the Great Hall and echoing singing and dancing coming from the surrounding corridors as the Seventh Years raced to their dormitories, the Gryffindors screaming at the top of their lungs, the song "We're going to Ibiza" by the Vengaboys. All except Hermione, who was debating what books to take, and the ever clueless Ron.
Dumbledore piped up, "Uh, Miss Granger. I must warn you that NO books are permitted on this excursion, of any kind."
"WHAT!! NOW WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?!?!" and she stormed out, still easily audible in the surrounding corridors.
Dumbledore grinned amazingly at the mayhem he had just caused.
"Uhh. Professor?" Ginny piped up from the remaining Gryffindors. "Who will be taking care of Hogwarts?" With fears of the Evil Professor Umbridge returning.
"That, Dear Ginny, would be Professor Binns." The professor in question choked on the remaining air in his ghostly 'lungs'.
"PARDON?" Obviously this was the first he'd heard of it.
"I do believe you will be quite capable at handling the school for a couple of days while we're gone." Dumbledore said matter-of-factly. Snape had currently doubled over in laughter, scaring the shit out of the remaining students.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
Meanwhile, in the Gryffindor Common Room
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
Perfectly lined up along the wall next to the entrance hole, were the seventh year trunks packed, ready and waiting! Harry was sitting on his trunk, making sure no one stole his first place at the door. In fact, that night, Harry slept next to his trunk to ensure his placing.
Hermione also stayed the night in the Common Room. Except she stared darkly into the fireplace and hexed anyone speaking above telepathy volume. Late before midnight, Lav and Pav walked past Hermione on their way up to the dorms. "You know Hermione, you're a sex starved freak. Like, you want to take BOOKS to Ibiza!! Hello!!!!"
Slowly, Hermione turned her glare from the fireplace to the two girls in question. Seeing the glare that would beat a Malfoy Glare, combined with the superglare of Snape, hands down, both girls bolted for their lives.
"They're right you know 'Mione." Said Harry with one eye open. Catching the look she shot at him, he quickly recovered with, "I mean about the books! Not about anything else they said (cough)! Lighten up. Have a little fun!" Phew, that was waaaay too close! I swear I was almost castrated.
Hermione's glare returned to the fireplace. Ron finally came down with his trunk (banging loudly on every stair) and moved towards Harry.
Upon noticing that his spot was in jeopardy, Harry pounced on him, "End of the line Mate! This is MY spot and NOBODY is getting it! MY PRECIOUS!"
"Eeepp!" squeaked Ron and he bolted to the end of the line.
"So I take it you're not coming to bed then."
"Does it look like it?" Harry snapped at him.
"No, no it doesn't. What about you 'Mione?"
"Grrrrr!!!!" Ron proceeded to bolt upstairs in fear.
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Slytherin Dungeons
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
PARTAY!!!!!
Draco was one happy little camper, Blaise still hadn't finished his victory dance, Pansy and Millicent had drunk too much and had passed out, in a compromising position, even for a Slytherin. We all know that Crabbe and Goyle had moved to Durmstrang.
Thank god for that! Thought Draco. That would not have been pleasant seeing them two fuck like rabbits!! Shudders uncontrollably rippled through his body. Well, must be off to bed; gonna need ALL of my energy and stamina for the coming week!
Authors: The dynamic insane duo of the ever zany Evil Story Penguins and the always psychotic Starz n Moonz. Round of applause please. Thankyou, thankyou, we're here all week! (Gives all who applauds chocolates! Hint hint!)
Summary: Dumbledore has planned an excursion for the seventh years to improve Muggle/Wizard Relations. Results: Multiple Pairings
Warning: this is the result of three hours filled with pizza, coke, Orange Bacardi Breezers (sadly all that was available) and one computer.
Rating: R
Disclaimer: you'd think we own them by the way we *use* them, but alas we do not (much tears are shed), buuut, it doesn't stop us from having fun! (rubs hands together, cackling evilly).
Chapter 1 - We're Going To Ibiza!
Dumbledore rose from his seat at the Head Table and addressed the Great Sea Of Heads.
"As you all know, the seventh years have been studying a compulsory class of Muggle Studies known as Muggle Relations." Receives many tired groans from the seventh years. "Yes, yes, seventh years, we get the picture. However, your struggles and complaints have not been in vain. As an end-of- year celebration for the subject, we have organised a little trip for you, kind of an extended 'excursion' for you all to put to good use the skills that you have learnt this year." This time he had their full and undivided attention.
"Where are we going?" asked the now interested Draco Malfoy.
"You will be going to a little tropical island called Ibiza."
He received high fives all round from the muggle borns. The wizard borns looked on curiously, all except Draco who knew the place rather well.
BOO-YEAH!!!!!!! He thought, whilst keeping his features controlled and impassive.
On the other side of the Hall, Dean and Seamus were doing a victory dance around the whole of Gryffindor table whilst Hermione snorted in disgust.
"Hey 'Mione? What's this Bitza place?" Ron asked in a whisper
"It's Ibiza, Ron. Shut up and listen to Dumbledore." Hermione angrily whispered back.
"There will be four teachers attending this trip." Seamus and Dean immediately stopped their victory dance and looked up at the Head Table in undisguised horror. "Myself, Professor McGonagall, Professor Lupin and of course our dear Professor Snape will be attending." At this the entire muggle-born population of Hogwarts burst into barely restrained laughter, imaging Snape at Ibiza.
Harry had fallen off his seat and was doubled up in laughter. A similar situation had arisen on the other side of the hall with Draco also in the same predicament.
Blaise was the first Wizard born to ask, "What's so funny about Ibiza?"
Draco wipping tears from his eyes answered, "It's a Fuck-Island."
Blaise's eyes lit up in wonder, "A Fuck-Island. When do we leave?" the second part he yelled to Dumbledore.
"Tomorrow morning." He replied.
"YES!!!!!!!!" Shouted a chorus of seventh years, who were ALL proceeding in victory dances of their own.
"Now. Seventh Years. I suggest you hop of to your dormitories and start packing!" With this announced, there was a cloud of dust remaining in the Great Hall and echoing singing and dancing coming from the surrounding corridors as the Seventh Years raced to their dormitories, the Gryffindors screaming at the top of their lungs, the song "We're going to Ibiza" by the Vengaboys. All except Hermione, who was debating what books to take, and the ever clueless Ron.
Dumbledore piped up, "Uh, Miss Granger. I must warn you that NO books are permitted on this excursion, of any kind."
"WHAT!! NOW WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?!?!" and she stormed out, still easily audible in the surrounding corridors.
Dumbledore grinned amazingly at the mayhem he had just caused.
"Uhh. Professor?" Ginny piped up from the remaining Gryffindors. "Who will be taking care of Hogwarts?" With fears of the Evil Professor Umbridge returning.
"That, Dear Ginny, would be Professor Binns." The professor in question choked on the remaining air in his ghostly 'lungs'.
"PARDON?" Obviously this was the first he'd heard of it.
"I do believe you will be quite capable at handling the school for a couple of days while we're gone." Dumbledore said matter-of-factly. Snape had currently doubled over in laughter, scaring the shit out of the remaining students.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
Meanwhile, in the Gryffindor Common Room
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
Perfectly lined up along the wall next to the entrance hole, were the seventh year trunks packed, ready and waiting! Harry was sitting on his trunk, making sure no one stole his first place at the door. In fact, that night, Harry slept next to his trunk to ensure his placing.
Hermione also stayed the night in the Common Room. Except she stared darkly into the fireplace and hexed anyone speaking above telepathy volume. Late before midnight, Lav and Pav walked past Hermione on their way up to the dorms. "You know Hermione, you're a sex starved freak. Like, you want to take BOOKS to Ibiza!! Hello!!!!"
Slowly, Hermione turned her glare from the fireplace to the two girls in question. Seeing the glare that would beat a Malfoy Glare, combined with the superglare of Snape, hands down, both girls bolted for their lives.
"They're right you know 'Mione." Said Harry with one eye open. Catching the look she shot at him, he quickly recovered with, "I mean about the books! Not about anything else they said (cough)! Lighten up. Have a little fun!" Phew, that was waaaay too close! I swear I was almost castrated.
Hermione's glare returned to the fireplace. Ron finally came down with his trunk (banging loudly on every stair) and moved towards Harry.
Upon noticing that his spot was in jeopardy, Harry pounced on him, "End of the line Mate! This is MY spot and NOBODY is getting it! MY PRECIOUS!"
"Eeepp!" squeaked Ron and he bolted to the end of the line.
"So I take it you're not coming to bed then."
"Does it look like it?" Harry snapped at him.
"No, no it doesn't. What about you 'Mione?"
"Grrrrr!!!!" Ron proceeded to bolt upstairs in fear.
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Slytherin Dungeons
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
PARTAY!!!!!
Draco was one happy little camper, Blaise still hadn't finished his victory dance, Pansy and Millicent had drunk too much and had passed out, in a compromising position, even for a Slytherin. We all know that Crabbe and Goyle had moved to Durmstrang.
Thank god for that! Thought Draco. That would not have been pleasant seeing them two fuck like rabbits!! Shudders uncontrollably rippled through his body. Well, must be off to bed; gonna need ALL of my energy and stamina for the coming week!