Mac stared at her wine glass, seeing straight through it. She'd poured it for herself an hour ago and hadn't touched it since. Her phone vibrated on the kitchen bench behind her but even that didn't shake her from her reverie. How did they end up here? How did everything go so horribly wrong? A year ago she would have told you they were producing the best news on tv, the most honest, trustworthy news on air. Now it was in pieces. And despite everything Jerry was responsible for, Mac knew she was at fault too. She felt numb. The minute Will had signed off she walked out of the control room, gave a quick speech to the sombre yet still shocked team, grabbed her things and left. How did they end up here? It was as though everything had spun out of control taking all of News Night with it. And yet it had been spinning for more than 7 months. Yet she'd been blind to the inevitable calamity until now. Tears rolled silently down her cheek, as she realised she had no energy left for anger, outrage or blame. She was exhausted, in every way. She had nothing left to give...

Another loud sound of her blackberry vibrating against granite finally got her attention. She carefully stood up and tip toed to the sound, she no longer trusted anything to be solid. She looked at the list of missed calls. 6 from Will, 2 from Jim, 1 from Sloan and 1 from Neal. She opened the first text message from Will. 'You left quickly. Can't blame you. But I do want to talk to you'

'Answer your phone Mac. This things fucked up and besides Charlie who's at the bottom of a bottle, you're the only one who gets it'

'MAC. For gods sake just let me know you're okay. I don't kind what else to say...'

'Im coming over'

Mac froze as she read the last message. She hadn't been meaning to worry anyone. She'd been so wrapped up in her own thoughts and assumed the rest of the team would be too. She typed a reassuring message about her being okay, just tired and going to bed, and sent it to Neal, Sloan and Jim. She also sent a message to Charlie asking him to call her tomorrow. She'd mentally procrastinated as much as she could and now the fact Will was on his way over here hit her with full force. It's not that she didnt want his company. She loved spending time with him more than anything else. Hell she'd take him, throwing a famous MacAvoy rant at her, over any other company. Just not tonight. Tonight she needed to think through everything that had happened and mourn the loss of her tv 'baby'. And she needed to do it alone because it was painful and emotional and Will would try and comfort her, which would just make everything hurt more. Her blackberry buzzed once again, she looked down and saw the caller ID she'd expected.

- Will

- finally Mac. What have you been doing? You worried me.

His voice was sharp and annoyed, but she knew it well enough to hear the relief at the sound of her voice.

- I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to. I've just been... Trying...just trying to get my head around everything. I'm sorry Will.

Her voice trembled, just slightly, at how much she felt whenever she said sorry to him. Because she was so sorry. And not just for worrying him, for everything. For ruining there future, for breaking his heart, for taking away the one person and constant he'd ever loved and trusted. Her voice only trembled a little. But, even just that tiny quiver, Will was able to notice.

- Mac? Can you let me up?

Once he walked into her apartment, he noticed all the little things that didnt fit. For one she had wine and Jamison out on her coffee table. And Mac never mixed drinks unless she was in a serious state of needing to drink. It didn't surprise him, everyone who worked on News Night could be forgiven for wanting to mix moonshine with grappa tonight. It was the tissues next to the wine, the unopened laptop bag and Camelot playing quietly in the background. It was as though he'd walked into Mackenzie's own private wake for News Night. It sent pain through every nerve in his body. Had she completely given up? What had happened was fucked up and destroyed a lot of trust they had in the business they worked in, along with themselves. But it hasn't killed it. All was not lost! They would ride this disaster out, and as messy as it got they would get through it and start cleaning up. God, he thought to himself, I sound pathetically in love with this show and what we're trying to do. Damn you Mackenzie and your contagious idealism, optimism and drive.

And yet here that woman was before him. Completely broken by this failure.

- I'm sorry I worried you. I'm really fine I just didnt check my phone and I was just going to watch a movie and go to bed -

- you're not fine. And look you don't have to be. I'm not fine. Charlie's not fine. Jim, Sloan, Don, Neal, Maggie, they're not fine. No ones fine. But hey, maybe we're not meant to be fine right now. I mean, if we were all okay it would mean we didnt care. We didnt care if did the news right or not. And we do. We all do. So we can be 'not fine' right now. And that's fine. We can pack disappointment, we can stack hate and hurt, we can even wear our pain. But come tomorrow, we must change our clothes.