Author's Note: Had to write after tonight's episode. And I felt there was some hope in her letter... Nothing spectacular. Just a small bit of what things should be like. Disclaimer: Once more - no names, no lawsuit :)
Ddicated to: All o my fellow GSR fans who are equally sad right now :(


Things left behind

There you are. On my doorstep. Just standing and smiling and beautiful and I don't understand.

Six months fourteen days and nine hours.

You brush your hair out of your face and say "Hey" and I don't remember what a suitable reply would be. So many things going through my head instead.

I want to tell you that your toothbrush is still in the bathroom next to mine. That Hank chewed on one of your left behind shoes. That I made him sleep in the livingroom for that. That I still have the book you borrowed me and that still haven't read it. That I found some of your socks mixed up with my laundry. That I still don't use your favorite cup. That I never switched back newspapers. That there is still a box of your cereal.

So many things I want to tell you. Things I was prepared to say.

How I fall asleep thinking of you. How I wake up and hope you'll be next to me. How I have read your letter over and over again. How I still keep it in my nightstand. How every time I see a woman of your statue I want it to be you. How I sometimes think I can feel you in the dark. How much I miss your scent. How much I tried not to miss you. How I dream of you and how it haunts me. How much I love you.
And how damn much you hurt me.

I want to yell at you and you just stand and smile.

I want to blame you for the pain you put me through. You ran away from me. You left me behind. With only a letter. Only ink on paper. You decided to be strong without giving me a chance to be strong for us. No explanation. No conversation. You just turned away from me. You hadn't been over in 4 days. Hadn't invited me over in 6. You avoided me. You didn't let me understand.
You broke my heart.

And today you are here at my door and smile. You are radiant, glowing in the afternoon sunlight. Beautiful and perfect and amazing and...

Here.

Right in front of me.
Six months, fourteen days and nine hours.

I finally answer, echoing your "Hey" and then I don't care anymore. I don't care that you left me. I don't care that I could never understand. I don't care why you changed your mind.

Because in the end you came back to me.
And that is all that matters.