"May-or Dew-ey! May-or Dew-ey!"
"Ah, I love the sound of my name in the morning," Mayor Dewey said as he drove into town that day.
He was so relieved that the whole "ocean disappearing" debacle was over. He had no idea why or how it had happened-- anything involving the Universe boy's weird sisters tended to be like that --but luckily nobody was asking questions. The Boardies were just glad their summer business was restored.
He didn't even notice two mysterious black sedans were parked up front as he walked into Town Hall.
"Huh," Dewey said to himself, "Secretary Lady isn't here today. Must have overslept again. Oh well, I didn't have any meetings today anyway."
Dewey stepped into his office where his gaze was met by a tall man in a dark suit and dark sunglasses.
"Mr. Dewey? We need to speak with you."
A similarly dressed man closed the door behind Dewey and locked it. Another one closed the window curtains.
"Uh… Y-you'll have to make an appointment!"
"We can do this the easy way or the hard way, Mr. Dewey. Please, sit."
Dewey sat down at his desk.
"It's Mayor Dewey."
"Fine. Mayor Dewey, we represent a top secret intelligence and concealment organization that deals with the more…unique goings-on that some of your citizens are involved with all over the world."
The agent handed Dewey a manila folder marked "Project Bijou"
"This folder contains only a fraction of what we've obtained over the years."
Inside were pictures of the Universe boy, his sisters, his father, his mother, Satellite images of water-less ocean floor, images of the Universe household from above, and some from inside (probably screenshots from Universe's TubeTube account, he figured).
"Why have you been spying on residents of my town?"
"If you haven't noticed, a few days ago a sizable portion of the North Atlantic just up-and-up disappeared. Not the ENTIRE thing, mind you, just the area from the Delmarva coast to the Bermuda Rise, but it WAS significant."
"And your point is?"
"Didn't you ever notice that the incident received ZERO major news coverage? Of course, I imagine you loved it because it meant there wouldn't be any bad publicity. Well you can thank us. We made sure there was as little publicity as possible.
"Beach towns affected were payed to keep quiet, citizens were given 'scientific' testimony that it was just a fluke weather condition, weather records were rewritten to describe 'historical precedent' for such a condition, certificates of mental instability were issued to prevent possible investigators from getting too close, Cloud accounts, mobile phones, and social media feeds were hacked into automatically to prevent the spread of information. Doctors, lawyers, detectives, journalists…politicians, and so forth were all given the choice of staying quiet, or us keeping them quiet. And that's just in the past few days."
"A-are you giving me that choice?"
"Well your position puts us in a rather curious predicament. This town is the epicenter of more unusual incidents than you even have the freedom to count. Seriously, we have orders to kill you if you actually start counting them."
Dewey shuffled nervously in his seat.
"But more to the point, we need your help. The Crystal Gems, or as you mistakenly know them, the Universe boy's sisters, have been living here since long before Beach City's founding, and are the only ones on the planet equipped to deal with these incidents."
"S-surely the rest of the world can-" Dewey began.
"Can what?" the agent asked, "We have enough problems in this world as it is. Crime, disease, war, poverty… Just look at Ocean Town! Imagine what would happen if the citizens of the Earth found out that they were at risk of a monster attack, or an interstellar invasion!"
"Inter-what now?"
"Mayor Dewey, this is bigger than anything you could ever imagine. It goes far higher than you, or me, or even the President of the United States herself. These incidents, and the organization I work for, predate every major government, and are the product of something so unbelievably massive that it changed the face of the world we live in today."
Dewey looked down for a moment, trying to comprehend what he was hearing.
"Anyway," the agent continued, "The Crystal Gems will no doubt know if we interfere too closely to their base of operations. From what we've found, the big one can usually tell. Even being in town right now is considered a major security risk.
"So we have a proposition for you. You keep your townsfolk happy, and we'll only cover things up around here when it is absolutely necessary. Make them feel safe, make them feel secure. Make it so they don't go asking questions to anyone who might actually get them answers."
"What if they ask the Universe boy?"
"Ah, he's no threat. Nobody really believes him anyway. All the subscribers to his TubeTube channel think it's just one big role-playing thing. And that Ronaldo Fryman fellow was written off as a crackpot about ten years ago."
"And what if I fail?"
"You have nothing to worry about. Everyone makes mistakes."
The agent got up out of his chair.
"But remember: Step out of line, Mr. Mayor, and it's an election loss, a 'sudden' nervous breakdown, and a trip to the ol' mental ward for you. Have a nice day." The agents began to shuffle out of the room, taking the manila folder with them.
"Oh, and if your surveillance technician asks why he blacked out and the tapes from the past hour are missing, the State Police was already notified that it was just a power failure and a spiked drink. Nothing to be alarmed about."
"Yeah… Nothing to be alarmed about."
"Good."
And like that, they were gone without a trace.