Discalimer- I do not own these characters. Private Practice does. I just like to play with them!
Chapter one
It's ten pm and Charlotte scoots into bed next to a sleeping Cooper. She rests her head on his shoulder and lays her hand on his chest. After a minute, Cooper opens his eyes. "Welcome home," he greets wrapping his arm underneath her back and around her arm.
"I didn't mean to wake you," she answers.
"It's okay. I'm glad you did." He looks down and gives her a soft peck on the top of her head. "Late night at St. Ambrose?"
"Tell me about it," she huffs "It was one of those days where everything goes wrong."
"Oh," he shrugs. "What happened?"
"Well," she begins swirling her fingers on his chest over his t shirt. "I got out of Oceanside later than expected, so I was late for my staff meeting at St. Ambrose, which no one was too happy about. Then the meeting went an hour overtime because everyone has issues."
Cooper smirks "Ain't that the truth!"
Charlotte continues "Then, I had to do my rounds and after that I had to catch up on paperwork. Plus, I had to prepare for tomorrow mornings' meeting with the hospital board. And to top it off we can't even have sex tonight to blow off steam."
Cooper chuckles. "Yeah, I noticed you're wearing your granny pajamas and that can only mean two things."
"What?" Charlotte asks.
"Either your sick or you've got your period."
"Well, I don't want to wear anything that might excite you." She quirks up an eyebrow.
"Char you can turn me on in a ski outfit. He laughs and squeezes her arm. "Isn't it early? I thought you weren't due to get it until around the 16th?"
She wrinkles her nose. "You keep tract of my period?"
He shakes his head. "Yeah, it's good to know so I can be prepared for your mood swings."
Charlotte gives him a little punch in the arm and chuckles. "Yeah, that's another thing I was in the middle of my staff meeting when I got my period three days early."
Cooper groans, "Not good. What'd you do?"
"I stayed in my seat until everyone left." She sighs. "Good thing I keep a change of underwear in the bottom of my desk."
Cooper laughs.
"This is nice though just lying with you and talking about stuff." Charlotte nuzzles her nose into his chest.
"Uhmm, it is nice." Cooper responds.
"I know there are more important things we need to talk about, that we've been putting off because of Dells' death and all but it's nice to talk about nothing too." Charlotte rambles.
"When are we going to talk about the important stuff?" Cooper asks.
Charlotte takes a deep breath and lets it out. "I guess now is as good as ever."
Cooper squeezes her tight. "I'll go first. Okay?"
"Hmm hmm" She answers quietly.
"The reason I got so angry when you told me you were married before is because I felt like I was just a replacement for your ex-husband."
Charlotte lifts her head up to look at him. "What? Why? You were never a replacement Cooper not in a million years."
"I know but there is something I never told you." He goes on. "My parents had a son, Andrew, who died a few years before they adopted me and they never told me, I found out by accident."
"How did you find out?"
" I was about ten years old and I was playing in the attic. I found a big box and opened it. It was filled up with pictures of Andrew and my parents since he was a baby. There were school projects and mother's day cards from Andrew to my mom so I figured out he was their kid. I didn't want to ask them so I asked my grandmother."
"What did she tell you?"
"She told me Andrew was their natural born son and when he was eight years old they found out he had a brain tumor, a grade 4 medullablastoma."
"Not good." Charlotte replies.
"No, apparently he had been complaining of headaches for a while but my mother didn't think it was any big deal and didn't take him to the doctor. It wasn't until he woke up vomiting every morning for about a week that my parents brought him to the doctor and they discovered the brain tumor."
"That must have been a horror for them." Charlotte rubs his chest with her hand.
"I can't even imagine." Cooper shakes his head. "My grandmother said my mother was full of guilt for not taking him to the doctor sooner. She cried every night about it."
"How long did he live after the diagnosis?" Charlotte asks
"Only a few months. He did chemotherapy but the cancer had already spread by then."
"That's awful." Charlotte comments.
"My grandmother told me not to mention it to my parents because it would upset them too much."
"So you thought you were a replacement for Andrew?" Charlotte asks.
"I felt that way for a long time. My grandmother said my parents tried to have another baby after Andrew died but it didn't work and they were getting older so they decided to adopt."
"And that's where little Cooper comes in."
"Yup, I was the lucky one. They adopted me. I mean it though, my parents were great, they gave me everything I needed. I was the only child so got all the attention. They weren't rich but they tried to give me everything I wanted. They spoiled me rotten." He confesses.
"Sounds like you had a happy childhood." Charlotte smiles to him.
"I did, except for feeling like I was their replacement child, like they would much rather have Andrew around to do everything with instead of me, but since Andrew was gone I was there to fill in for him."
"That's sad."
"I know they loved me but I also know if Andrew didn't die they would be with him and not me. I'm sure if they could do things differently they would rather have their natural son alive and never have had to meet me. And that's how I felt about you and your ex after you told me you were married."
"How could you think that?" Charlotte asks gently.
"I always thought I was your first love. You're mine." Cooper kisses her head.
"That's sweet." She answers.
"When I found out I wasn't your first love, that you had been in love before with someone else I felt those same feelings come back. I felt like if whatever happened with your ex didn't happen you would still be with him and not me. And that thought was just to hard to swallow because I love you so much Char. I wanted you to feel the same about me."
"I do Cooper. I do feel the same about you."
"Then why didn't you tell me about him earlier. Why did you hide it for so long?"
"Because I was scared." She answers quietly.
"Scared of what?" Cooper asks.
"Scared of what you would think of me if you knew the person I used to be."
"Charlotte, I want you to be able to tell me anything. We're getting married, you can't be scared to tell me things."
"I don't like to think about the old me. I've moved on and I don't like to think about it let alone tell people about it."
"Will you tell me now?" He asks gently.
"If you promise to still love me." She looks in his eyes.
"I promise." he tells her looking back in her eyes. He can't imagine what she is so scared to tell him.
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