Hey guys... This fic is a SFTCOL(AR)S's secret Santa fic for DiamondUnicorn... A fic which I hope she likes... Now, I would list the guidelines for the fic, but that would give it away...

Disclaimer: I own nothing, not even the plot, which belongs to DiamondUnicorn, I only write for my sadistic muses, and of course my readers... Plus my prompt givers...

Warning: Will be limp!Sam... Hurt(emotional)!Sammy also...

Now onto the first chapter of, 'Believing is Deceiving...'

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"I can't believe you!" John Winchester yelled at his youngest son, while his oldest watched on in shock. "I cannot believe you would betray your family like this. That you would turn your back on us. All for what? Some- some school?" The dark glare that was cast Sam's way, made the youngest Winchester flinch, but he stood his ground.

"Dad, calm down. It's not the end of the world, I just want to go to college. I am not betraying your or Dean, I just think there's more to life than hunting." Sam told his father pleadingly. "I'm not even talking about not hunting, I just want to go to Stanford, and we could make arrangements so that I could hunt on the weekends, or during school breaks."

"The supernatural don't wait for the weekend or school breaks to attack; it happens all the time." John's voice was cold and condescending, as if trying to talk sense into a wayward two year old. "You really want to let all those people die, just so you can go to college?" He asked, his tone accusing.

"Don't you dare try to guilt me into staying here." Sam growled, surprising both Dean and his father. "Hunting wasn't invented the night mom was killed dad, and it sure as hell won't stop if I go to college. I'm just one hunter dad, it doesn't make much of a difference if I'm there to help you hunt. It's not like you let me do much more than researching anyway, so I just can't fathom why you would be so upset that I wanted to do it less often." Sam's voice held the same condescending tone that his father's had held just moments before, and both men across from him looked shocked.

He never saw the fist coming until it was too late. Staggering from the blow, Sam grabbed onto the dining table, trying to steady himself from the numbing blow that had just plowed into the side of his face.

"I can't believe you!" Sam hissed, unconsciously quoting his father. "So is this what happens every time something doesn't go your way? You hit something, someone?" There was an edge to Sam's voice, telling his father that it wasn't a question that he really expected or wanted to be answered.

"Sammy-" John started, guilt already lining his face.

"Don't you Sammy me, dad. You've wanted to do that for a long time. I know, and you know it. Hell Dean probably knows it too. Isn't that right Dean?" Sam asked, drawing his un-expecting brother into the fray.

"Wha-?" Dean asked, not really knowing what was happening around him, just trying to follow the fact that Sam was talking about leaving, that Dad was yelling, that Sammy was yelling back. That his father had actually hit Sammy.

"You leave your brother out of this, it's between you and me." John growled, his guilt all but gone.

"Yeah it is between you and me, dad." Sam agreed, adding a touch of loathing to the last word. "It's always been between you and me, hasn't it? You're just mad that I'm not taking your shit anymore!" Sam yelled, and John snapped.

One second John and Sam were feet apart, the next second John had Sam pinned to the wall, his hands fisted in Sam's shirt. "You watch what you say," John growled, not really caring that it was Sam that he had pinned to the wall, just wanting to get his point across.

"What, you gonna make me?" Sam taunted, almost goading his father. "You gonna hit me again?" Sam asked, mocking his father.

John gave a snort of disgust, and with a last shove, let Sam go. "You're gonna throw that in my face?" He asked, curiosity and anger intermingling in his voice.

"Why not? I'm the one who's gonna have to live with the bruise for the next couple weeks." Sam sneered.

"Yeah you will, and what a well earned bruise it was." John shot back. After a minute, he smiled. "You wanna leave? Fine. You want to turn your back on everything and everyone you've ever known? Fine! But just to let you know, you walk out that door, you never come back!" John yelled, the vehemence in his tone, telling both boys that he wasn't lying.

"Fine!" Sam yelled back, grabbing his already packed duffle, and walking towards the door. "Just don't come crying to me when you come to your senses, old man. Not everything revolves around hunting, not everyone can pretend that they can't feel, that they don't want." With that, Sam walked out and slammed the door behind him.

As he walked down the street, Sam just hoped that Dean found the letter he had left for him. He didn't want Dean to think that he hated or abandoned him. Shaking the thought out of his mind, Sam continued walking, trying to figure out what he would do, how he would get the California, and how to live his life without his family.

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John stared in shock at the door. He still couldn't believe that his son had actually walked out on them, on him. He had thought that once he made Sam choose, family or school, that he would make the logical choice, and choose his family.

Problem was... Sam wasn't logical.

Hell, Sam didn't follow anything in the Winchester history. He had never been like Dean, had never followed orders, or saw the world the way everyone else did. Sam was too much like Mary for his own good. Questioning, curious, never satisfied; Sammy was exactly like his mother.

Oh Mary, what have I done?

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Sammy? Dean's brain couldn't quite comprehend what had happened in the last few minutes. He knew that Sam had been talking about Stanford, and that his father hadn't liked the fact that Sam had been talking about leaving and turning his back on his family.

Then he had seen his father hit Sam. Actually hit Sam.

His father had never harmed either of them. He was a good father. Harsh? Yes. But all in all, John Winchester was a good man, and a good father. He had never deliberately raised a hand to strike either of them, and the shock that Dean had seen in the man's eyes once he had realized what he had done, had told Dean that the man hadn't meant to hit Sam.

Sam, of course, hadn't.

He believed that their father had meant to hit him, that he had actually wanted to hurt him. He had seen it in his brother's eyes, he had seen the resolve that had settled there after his father had landed the blow. Sam thought their father meant what he had done, and his little brother wasn't one to let things go.

Sam had taunted, mocked their father, just trying to get another rise out of him. And he had. Their father had slammed Sam into the wall, hard enough to break something. Dean had seen the anger in his father's eyes, clouding the judgment that usually settled there.

But that hadn't even been the worst of it. Dean had seen Sam flinch, and recoil in shock when his father had laid down his choices. Family or Sam's dream of a normal life. He had seen Sam struggle with the choice, but then Sam had looked into his father's eyes, and he had seen the anger, had seen what he had figured was resolve that hunting was more important than anything...

And as Dean had thought, Sam exploded.

God Sammy, why did you have to be so emotional?

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A/N: Well there you have it... Sam's gone, and both John and Dean are feeling the guilt... wanna rack it up?

I hope you guys enjoyed the first chapter...

Take care and review often...

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