Hermione's heart beat fast and hard in her chest. It was a natural thing to do for her, but now that she was here, she wasn't sure if it was such a great idea. Having knocked on the door already, there was no turning back now.
It took so long that Hermione was about to leave, but then the door suddenly opened.
"Miss Granger." Hermione knew that voice better than any other, but she had rarely heard it sounding so surprised.
"Professor McGonagall," the young woman greeted, suddenly feeling very unsure.
"To what do I own the pleasure of your visit?" the surprised witch asked.
"Oh well, it is Christmas eve and I thought, well…"
"You thought I would be alone," Minerva McGonagall finished for her, hitting the nail on the head.
Hermione blushed instantly. "I am so sorry. How awful of me to assume such a thing! I'm just… well, I'm going. Have a Merry Christmas, Professor. I am so sorry to have disturbed you." Hermione was thoroughly embarrassed and turned to leave, but a gentle hand on her arm stopped her departure.
"Miss Granger, I am sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. Please do come in. I appreciate your visit." She opened the door a little more and gestured for her former pupil to enter.
Seeing the young witch hesitate, she added, "Please, Miss Granger."
Hermione nodded and shyly entered the small but cozy house. She followed her former Head of House into the sitting room, her eyebrows knitting in concern when she saw how heavily the elder woman leaned on her walking stick. It was no news to her that her old professor suffered serve injuries from the last war, but when in public she obviously hid it much better.
"Please sit, Miss Granger. Would you care for a cup of tea?" Professor McGonagall asked, after Hermione sat down in the armchair opposite the sofa she herself had just left.
"Yes, that would be nice. Thank you." Hermione used the temporary absence of the owner of the house to look around. It was small and very homey and lovely decorated, but there was not one Christmas decoration to be found. And to Hermione's surprise, no tree.
"Here you go." The Professor handed Hermione a cup of hot ginger and lemon tea, Hermione's favorite.
"Thank you." Hermione smiled shyly. "Again, I am sorry for such an intrusion. I don't know what I've been thinking."
"You thought that I was alone," she said kindly. "What surprises me more, is how you found out where I live?" There was not one person alive on this earth who knew about this place, deep in the Scottish woods.
"Professor Dumbledore, well – his portrait in the ministry, advised me to look here."
Of course. "He did now, didn't he?"
Hermione placed her cup on the small table beside her. "Professor, maybe I should go. You don't look very pleased and I really didn't mean to intrude."
"I apologize for giving you that feeling. I really appreciate your visit, but I fear I am not the best of company." The old witch's look was downcast and she looked lost, guilt flooding her veins for giving this wonderful and kind young woman the feeling of not being welcome.
Seeing the defeated posture and the sad look in her professor's face, Hermione answered, "Oh please, even unconscious you were better company to me than every other person."
A small smile crept over the other witch's lips. "You always knew what to say, Miss Granger."
Satisfied with the small smile she saw, Hermione addressed another sensitive subject. "Professor, would you mind calling me Hermione?"
"It would be my pleasure, but only if you call me Minerva." Feeling more relaxed, Minerva leaned back in her chair. "Are you not celebrating with Mr. Potter and Mr. Weasley this festive period?"
Hermione shook her head. She had been invited of course, but the thought that her beloved Professor might be alone on Christmas caused her to decline, much to Ron's irritation. "No, not this year. I wanted to visit you. "
"That was very thoughtful of you, Hermione." The older woman whispered, touched that Hermione had thought of her.
"You have a lovely home, Profe… Minerva." It was true. It reminded Hermione a bit of her private quarters at Hogwarts.
"Thank you. It is not big, but I usually only spend the summers here. I think it is the very first time I am spending the Christmas holidays here."
"Of course. How come that you don't have a Christmas tree?" Hermione asked, wondering if there was a different room that was used for the celebration.
Minerva felt her eyes watering at Hermione's innocent question. "Since my hus… well, I didn't feel like celebrating this year."
Hermione's sharp mind noticed the slip immediately. "You are married?" She asked shocked.
Minerva closed her eyes. "I was."
"But with…" Then it hit Hermione. "Professor Dumbledore," she whispered hoarsely.
A murmured spell lifted the concealment charm on the slightly shaking hand, revealing a simple golden ring.
Hermione sank to her knees and took the hand in hers, carefully touching the ring with her fingertips. She couldn't believe she had not known. Her eyes tearing up, she looked at the widow's face, for the first time seeing all the sorrow and grief the older woman felt.
"Minerva, I am so very sorry. Does anyone know? Did you have someone by your side when it happened?"
Tears started streaming down the older woman's face when she shook her head. "No one knows."
Hermione got up and sat next to the crying woman, gathering her in her arms. "I am so very, very sorry. I can't imagine what you've been through these past month." Gently rocking Minerva back and forth, she soothed, "I'm here now. I know you didn't have any time to grieve." The sobbing increased and Hermione started to rub comforting circles on the widow's back. "Shh.. it's all right. Just let it all out. I've got you now."
It was like the flood gates were finally opened and all the bottled up emotions came out all at once. She couldn't think, she couldn't feel, she could hardly breath, and all she could do was cry like she never had before. Cry for her husband, for all the good people who had died during the war, for her own injuries and cry of fear for her new job, not knowing if she could do it.
She was barely aware that Hermione had pulled her down, but she registered that her head was now in Hermione's lap, pressing into the young woman's stomach. At some point she closed her eyes, letting Hermione's soothing strokes and gentle patting lull her into a slight slumber.
Hermione quietly summoned the green tartan blanket from the armchair by the fire and covered the sleeping woman. Lost in her own thoughts, she absentmindedly let her fingers glide through Minerva's hair. The death of Professor Dumbledore was hard on everyone and a great loss for the whole wizarding world. He was the shining figure of light and the world still seemed a little darker without him and probably always would for those who knew him. Knowing him… Who could say that when nobody ever knew he was married? Rumor had it that the Professors McGonagall and Dumbledore were a couple of course, but then again, there were rumors that Professor Snape and Professor Trelawney were a couple as well.
They were married. How incredibly hard it must have been for Minerva to cope with the death of her husband without letting anyone know of their marriage. It was a small miracle that the elder woman was still here now. Did she know he would die? Did he say goodbye?
Hermione's thoughts were interrupted when she felt Minerva slightly stir. The change in the elder woman's breathing told Hermione that she was awake. There was nothing she could possibly say, so Hermione quietly resumed stroking Minerva's hair, trying to give whatever comfort she could. She knew it wasn't much.
"I'm so sorry," Minerva said quietly, barely understandable with her face still pressed against Hermione's stomach. A moment later she sat up and was about to leave when Hermione grabbed her arm. She knew if she'd let go now, Minerva would restore her walls and hide her pain behind them.
"Don't apologize and don't go," Hermione said, tugging at the older woman's arm. "Come and sit with me."
"Hermione, I…" she tried to protest, but the young witch just shook her head and pulled her mentor down.
"No. Just sit here with me and let it happen. Whatever you feel now, it's all right. Just let it happen," Hermione soothed and moved a little closer. Tugging her feet under her, she let her side rest against Minerva's and placed her right arm around the older woman's shoulder, pulling her a little closer.
She knew Minerva was a little uncomfortable and floored at the moment and thus she tried her best to soothe her, covering them both with the blanket, and holding Minerva's hand within her own.
When the grieving woman seemed a little calmer, Hermione quietly offered, " You know, it is fine with me when you don't want to talk, but I need you to know that I am here to listen if you do want to talk about it. I thought that after having to hide your marriage for so long, you might want to finally share stories of your life. Either way is fine with me."
The young woman's offer was met with silence for a long time.
I know, I know... There will be updates on my other stories soon. Writers block, I guess.
For now, please enjoy the first chapter of my new story and review if you like it.