A/N: I do NOT in anyway own John Rzeznik or the Goo Goo Dolls, though I'd like to. Uhm, yeah…so this is my Goo's story. The song is 'Name' by the Goo Goo Dolls, and yes, Ted DiBiase is in it. That's why it's in the wrestling section. Anywho, read and review…
London, England.
December 20, 2009
Johnny Rzeznik, lead singer of the Goo Goo Dolls, looked at the smiling redhead in the picture in front of him. He knew that woman. Hell, he knew the man that she was smiling in the picture with. He tore his gaze away from the picture to read the headline.
"Former Rockstar's Girlfriend and Pioneer of Women's Rights in Military, marries Professional Wrestler."
He went to the newsstand and handed the money to a man and got the paper. He opened it up to the specified page, and read the article. No matter that he was standing in the rain, with his band members having already been moving ahead on the street. He looked up at the street name and sighed. Abbey Road. The infamous road where the Beatles walked. And the street where he'd lost the smiling redhead just eighteen months prior. He read the article then looked up when he'd heard his name called.
"Dude, you coming or what?"
Robby Takac said. John carried the article with him, and threw the rest of the paper in the trashcan. Robby tried to get a good look at what John was reading, but he was playing it close to his chest. John was on autopilot. Robby thought something happened, and watched as John sat on a bench. John was in his own little world, remembering the day he lost her…
April 2008
London, England-Abbey Road Studios
"Honey! I got the job!"
Cheryl Curtis yelled as she came around the corner. She'd forgotten that Johnny and the boys had been recording, and she couldn't contain her excitement. This was a job she'd wanted for the longest time, and she would've fought like hell to take it. Johnny looked at her, and he was pissed off. She'd been screaming like a banshee for the last twenty minutes, and it was interfering with the progress they'd been making on these songs. He cut the recording and walked out of the booth.
"Cheryl, god damn it, can't you see we're recording here? You've been yelling for the last twenty minutes. What the fuck?"
"I got the job!"
"What job?"
Cheryl looked at him, and her heart sank. She'd been clinging to this dream for six months, and she'd told him about this, but he hadn't remembered. He hadn't remembered much of anything over these last four months, but that was okay. She was going to be working for the Queen. A liaison of sorts. And she sunk herself down on the sofa. That's when she realized that this relationship with him was going nowhere. They'd been together for four years, and they were the best four years so far, but he'd been distant lately.
"The job to be the Queen's liaison to the British Army…Johnny, this means the world to me."
And John looked at her like she was crazy. Cheryl had been enlisted in the British Army as a General Registered Nurse. She'd been working her way up the ranks, and had finally gotten a job with the queen. It made her suddenly realize that she was not worth his time.
"Oh, god. Babe, I'm sorry! I completely forgot. Congratulations! We should celebrate!"
"No…Johnny this is not like you. You never forget anything. Even our anniversary, and you forgot that. You forgot to take Mason to the vet. You forgot to sign your divorce papers? How do you do that? Really? You know what, Johnny. You work on your music! Because, when I walk out this door, I'm not coming back."
"You won't leave me, Cheryl."
"I will. And I am. I'm sorry, Johnny. I can't do this anymore."
She said, walking out…and that was the last time he'd seen her.
Present day
Concert at O2, London
"This next song was inspired by the love of my life! So my darling, where ever you are…this one's for you!"
He said, as he started the opening chords of 'Name.' He hadn't been ashamed to admit that he'd written 'Name' for Cheryl, and re-did it after their break up, but when he started singing it, it took him back…
And even though the moment passed me by
I still can't turn away
'Cause all the dreams you never thought you'd lose
Get tossed along the way
And letters that you never meant to send
Get lost or thrown away
December 21, 2009
Clinton, Mississippi
And now we're grown up orphans
Who never knew their names
We don't belong to no one
That's a shame
I know that song. That song was written about me. Well, not technically about me. But when Johnny wrote it, I was there. And now my husband has it on. Husband, that's a crazy word. I didn't think I'd be married to anyone, let alone Ted. But I am. Ted DiBiase saved me, when I needed it. I'd seen way too much shit in the world in order to be myself. I was in the hospital, doing a stint for my leg, and Ted was doing a troop thing for World Wrestling Entertainment. We met, and hit it off. I knew that Johnny and Ted were friends, and I told him that I'd knew Johnny. But I didn't tell him to what extent I knew him. I've been thinking about him a lot lately, and I knew that I should've called him to tell him about the wedding. Johnny and I broke up over something stupid. I miss him more everyday, because he was my best friend, as well as my lover. Ted was on the road, and I pulled this CD out when I cleaned. He didn't understand my obsession with the Goos. But this was something I needed to do. I picked up the phone and dialed the last known number I had for him.
But if you could hide beside me
Maybe for a while
And I won't tell no one your name
I won't tell'em your name
Johnny looked at his cell phone and stared at the unfamiliar number, with a familiar area code. He sighed, not knowing why he continually would do this to himself if it was who he thought it was. He sighed and answered it, not expecting it to be who it was.
"Hello?"
"Oh good…it's still the same number. Hiya Johnny."
"Cheryl."
"It's been awhile."
"Eighteen months. How are you?"
"I'm good. Uhm, I miss you."
That knocked the wind right out of him. He was ready to be mad at her for leaving him, but he couldn't do it. He couldn't be angry with her when she said that. Of course he wasn't going to give her the benefit of letting her know how he felt.
"Good. I'm glad. So, when were you going to tell me you're married."
"Right now. That's why I'm calling. Teddy and I got married….but it isn't the same. It's not what I thought it would be. What I want it to be."
Johnny couldn't let himself hope. He couldn't. He wanted everything to be right with them. He'd been tracking her as far as he could remember. He'd gotten as far as Jackson, Mississippi before it stopped.
"What do you want it to be?"
"With you. In that cabin in the woods in Buffalo. Remember that? Or that time in Phoenix, when it was just you and me and the sprinklers? No one around in the neighborhood."
John didn't want to go back there. He didn't want to relive those memories. The good ones he'd carry with him for the rest of his life. Also too, the ones he didn't want to carry with him. The bad ones. The fights. The anger issues he'd had.
"You should've made that decision before you married Ted. Speaking of, how is young Theodore these days?"
"Johnny please, don't do this. Teddy was there for me, when you weren't. And I don't deserve him, just lay off."
"Damn right you don't deserve him. You hurt me, Cheryl. Bad."
"Johnny, please…just tell me you love me."
John stood up and walked out of the room he'd been in. They were three hours from sound check and six from show time, and he didn't want to be in an awful mind. He figured if they were going to do this, they'd do this right.
"Okay Cheryl, fine…is this what you want to hear? I fucking love you. Okay? I love you! And I've never stopped loving you! Never! You broke my heart! And damn it, Cheryl…I'll never stop. Never…"
Johnny smiled. He'd gotten that off of his chest. He'd admitted his deepest secrets to the woman he'd loved and lost. And now it was time for her to own up to it. Own up to what happened to her with him.
And the scars are souvenirs you never lose
The past is never far
Did you lose yourself somewhere out there
Did you get to be a star
And don't it make you sad to know that life
Is more than who we are
"I love you too, Johnny…god, I have…"
And then I was interrupted by the door opening. I turned around to see Ted standing in the doorway, like he'd just heard every word I'd said. I'm sure he did, but I wasn't going to fight this. I turned back to the phone and sighed.
"Where are you?"
"I'm in London again. Then we've got a week off."
"I'll call you in a few days. I have to go."
And I hung up. I turned to look at Teddy and I could see the sadness in his eyes. He'd overheard my confession to John, and that's what got him this way. He looked at me and I knew that he'd heard it.
"You never stopped loving him, did you?"
"No, Teddy…you don't get it. Johnny and I went through a lot. I acted irrationally when I left him. I was two days away from getting my dream job. They were in the middle of Nightmares and Dreams. I miss him, Teddy. Everyday."
"Well then why the fuck did you marry me?"
"I don't know…but it was a mistake. A serious mistake. I'm leaving you Teddy, and I'm doing it tonight."
I said, bolting for the door. I had to get out of there. I'd always be grateful to him for doing what he did for me, but I had to have Johnny. Had to, Johnny was my drug. I took my cell phone out, dug my keys out and got in my car. I called the airport and reserved a ticket to London. I then took out my cell phone, and dialed that number.
"Hello?"
"Johnny…stay where you are. I am flying to London. After your concert, I'm coming to you. Okay?"
"Fine, we will talk about this though, right?"
"Yes. I'll see you in seventeen hours."
I said, knowing that this was a long shot. I took my wedding band off, and slid it in my purse. I hung up the phone and made it to the airport with minutes to spare. I missed his face, and I couldn't wait to see it.
You grew up way too fast
And now there's nothing to believe
And reruns all become our history
A tired song keeps playing on a tired radio
And I won't tell no one your name
And I won't tell'em your name
Sixteen hours later, John Rzeznik was standing at Heathrow Airport in London, England waiting for Cheryl to get off the plane. He watched her as she got off the airplane. She had a significant limp, but that was from the injury she'd sustained in the war. She dropped her bag and ran towards him. He opened his arms to her and he hugged her.
"Hello darling."
He said, the way he'd always used to greet her. She grinned and he let her go. It wasn't like he wanted too, but they were making a scene. He grabbed her bag, and led her to a coffeehouse there. He pulled her chair out for her and smiled when she sat down. A waitress came over to greet them, and she took their coffee order. John smiled at the lady, and he proceeded to order.
"I'll have a skinny Italian, no foam. And the lady will have a Triple Tall Americano, extra room."
Cheryl smiled at him, and the waitress walked away. John went to say something as Cheryl spoke, but she grinned and let him go instead. He took her hand and kissed it, knowing there was a lot of unresolved issues. So, he brought them up.
"Your leg?"
"After serving two tours in Afghanistan, I went on a peace keeping mission in Congo. Stepped on a landmine, blew my leg clean off. Mariela?"
"Mistake. Realized it just after we got married. Mariela was never you, Cheryl. And I can't change my behavior that day, but I wish I could go back. Teddy?"
"Married me because he thought I was pregnant. He was trying to be a good husband. I miscarried, and he couldn't bring himself to divorce me."
And right then, John could see things clearer. He saw a future, a family. Kids. Everything he'd ever wanted with this woman. Right in front of him. It was his job to make it up to her…his job to make sure that she never hurt again. He'd screwed up with her, and he was going to prove it.
I think about you all the time
But I don't need the same
It's lonely where you are come back down
And I won't tell'em your name
"That song was written for the love of my life. And she's out there in the crowd tonight. But first I'm going to do this right."
John said, pulling something out of his pocket. He walked to the end of the stage and walked down two stairs that were there. He grabbed Cheryl by the hand and pulled her onto the stage. Robby had grabbed a chair for her and she sat in it. She looked at John quizzically. He dropped to one knee, she gasped and the crowd lost it.
"Cheryl Nancy Curtis…you are, my existence. The love that's so much greater than this. I love you. I want you. Forever. Will you marry me?"
And suddenly for Cheryl, things fell into complete perspective. She nodded, and the crowd lost it again. He slid the ring on her finger, and then played the opening chords to 'Let Love In'.
-The End