Doc Discovers Deviant Art
Disclaimer: The Secret Saturdays are the creation of Jay Stephens. Deviant Art is also not my creation. I make no profit from this story.
Claimer: All created 'online' aliases are from my own imagination. Any resemblance is purely coincidence.
Warning: Intended to be very stupid, sadly. This is NOT a bash-fic. In fact, I support some of the things I mention in the story.
Notes: I saw that there was a story called 'Zak Does Deviant Art' and often wondered what would happened if Doc discovered Deviant Art. Odds are, he wouldn't be too pleased, and God and Goddess help him if he ever discovered MY contribution to this fandom. (*Cough* Doc/Tsul'Kalu *Cough*) There are far more than what I mentioned in the story, but I had to point out the general works.
"Laundry day is a very dangerous day."
Solomon remembered when that line from one of Zak's early cartoons make him chuckle ever so slightly. Now he feared the line, all because of what he found on the computer during laundry day. It was his turn to gather the laundry (after losing five consecutive games of Rock, Paper, and Scissors to his wife on who was supposed to do it). Between using the pet brush for Fiskerton's bedding and having to pry articles of clothing from Zon's nest, he though Zak's room would be a breeze. His family was away at the nearby pizza parlor getting dinner, for his brother-in-law was coming for a visit. He typed in the key code to his son's room, surprised to find it neat and a small pile of dirty clothing by the foot of the bed. Doc smiled to himself, proud that his son was mature enough to clean up after himself. As he crossed towards the foot of the bed, he heard an electronic beep on Zak's notebook.
"Well, at least his room's clean. He must have forgotten to turn it off before he left."
After careful deliberating, Solomon decided to turn off the notebook. He took the wireless mouse and gently moved it, causing it to reveal a webpage Zak was browsing. He was still logged in.
"ThePepperHeadedShikagami?" Doc questioned aloud, before shaking his head, "Why did I allow Drew to talk me into letting Zak watch anime? I hope all his online accounts don't have ridiculous screen names like this. It looks like he was in the middle of commenting on a picture-what's this website called," Solomon looked at the name on the top of the webpage, "Deviant Art."
Solomon wondered if it was good idea to further search his son's computer. After all, he was a teenager now and he knew that any parental block he and Drew programmed into the computer network, Zak would find a way around it. Privacy be damned, he thought; his house, his network. He decided to start by browsing Zak's favorite pictures and Zak's submissions. Solomon was expecting to see a bunch of half-naked women in Zak's gallery. Surprisingly, the teen's submissions were filled with written prose and poetry. He never pegged Zak as a writer. He was further shocked to discover that Zak was somewhat of a promising artist, having hand drawn-landscapes and photographed still-lives. He checked Zak's favorites, still expecting the parade of female flesh. Apart from a few questionable pictures, Zak's favorites were tame. Solomon decided to let it pass.
"Looks like my boy has a few online friends. Uh oh, one of them sent me an instant message."
The messenger, named NarutoFan4Eva, left a message in all its chat speak glory. Doc managed to translate it without suffering a minor headache.
"Pepper-Head, you're not gonna like what I found about your mom and dad…but on the bright side, people totally ship you and Wadi…but, uh, yeah, the club's still up."
Solomon had a bunch of questions for this person, starting with 'What's a ship?' and ending with 'How do you know who these people in my life are?'. Before he could even stop himself, he replied.
"What 'stuff' did you find about my mother and father? What do you mean they 'ship' Wadi and I? What club is still up?"
NarutoFan4Eva was quick to reply, "Poor Pepper-Head. I forgot you're still new to DA. First, I confirmed that they're drawing more smut with your mom in it and now some crazy broad named KoDraCan is drawing stuff about your dad. Second, 'Ship' is short for romantic relationship, made popular by fan fics. It also means to endorse a romantic relationship."
"…So they prefer me with Wadi?"
"Yeah…but that club I was telling you about is still up."
Solomon contorted his brows in confusion as he replied, "What club?"
There was some hesitation on NarutoFan4Eva's part before the person replied, "…You might wanna see for yourself. I gotta run, but I love the new piece you put up! Bye!"
The person left the chat room, leaving Solomon even more confused and worried that his teenage son was talking to the wrong crowd online. He decided to check this very serious situation out for himself. About twenty minutes later, Solomon was left an emotional wreck. The borderline pornography about his wife he could understand; she was very beautiful, unattainable. He was used to it, be honest. It wasn't the first time he had came across over-zealous fans that would send in fan mail to them. It was the borderline pornography about his SON in particular that almost made him put on his Power Glove and smash the computer. His fears weren't eased by the fact that certain perpetrators were pairing him up with...unsavory characters at best. (He was a little more forgiving of Francis, Wadi, King Ulraj and even some of the fictional teenage female characters, due to the aforementioned being closer to Zak's age.)
Just went he thought he'd seen it all, he remembered NarutoFan4Eva's warning about the artist/writer KoDraCan. He shuddered, wondering what the mystery artist was doing with HIS character. The artist, apparently female, was an ardent supporter of him and his wife, the few he saw that DIDN'T have Drew being paired up with Van Rook, but she was also in favor of pairing him up with the cryptid Tsul'Kalu. He looked at her artwork and stories.
He was in tears afterwards.
He backed away from the evil computer, got Zak's laundry and bolted out of the teen's room, scarred for life and decided that a few months of being grounded would have to be a sufficient punishment for Zak. He couldn't punish Zak hard enough for the mental scarring he suffered at the hands of Deviant Art.
"Laundry day is a very dangerous day" indeed.