Gundam Wing
The Parallel Universes Experiment
A short little fanfic by Specter
It was a pretty normal day in the GW universe, a lot like most other days during the year AC 195. The sun was shining, the wind blew gently...
And the Gundam boys were busy taking out a massive OZ military base.
Heero, letting loose with Wing's buster rifle, easily wiped out a squad of Ares, and a building to boot. Duo, turning DeathScythe's beam scythe into a cyclone of swirling death, sliced away mobile suits like as if they were barely there. Trowa and Quatre, letting loose the full force of their ammunition, quickly ignited the base with a firestorm. Wufei, ever the loner, Dragon Fang-ed the remaining forces before landing alongside Heero.
"What weaklings."
"That was boring." Heero added.
"You can say that again." Duo added. "Hey guys, is it just me or do our lives seem small, insignificant, and boring."
"We're rebels against OZ, constantly watching our backs lest somebody stab us in them; how can our lives be any less worth living." Trowa added. "In two words, this bites."
What the G-boys didn't know is that somebody had been listening in on their conversation. Suddenly, the comm. screens in all five Gundams were filled with the image of a strange lady with long spiky hair and a near-childlike complexion.
"Oh really...?" She inquired, to most of the G-boys' surprise.
"Who are you? Do you work for OZ?" Heero inquired, ever monotone.
"I'm little Washsu, the greatest scientific genius and biggest Gundam Wing fan in the universe!" She exclaimed, proudly displaying an action figure of Heero.
All five gave her blank stares.
"Anyway..." She said, stashing the action figure. "I couldn't help but overhear. You think life can't be any worse for you five, is that it?"
"In a word, yes." Duo stated.
"It could be worse." Quatre chimed in.
"You only say that cuz' you're the only optimist among the five of us." Wufei said sharply.
"You should listen to the kid; he knows what he's talking about." Washsu said bluntly. She then held up a strange key-like device. "And I'm about to show you just how it could be."
"Is that a threat?" Heero prodded.
"No, more like a 'prepare yourselves to be warped out of time and space' warning." Washsu said, then activated her invention.
"Where are we?" Heero wondered out loud. All five G-boys, minus their Gundams, now stood in what looked like a vast desert. Moments later, Washsu materialized in front of them.
"Welcome to the first test site." Washsu stated, chipper as ever. She then looked Heero dead in the eye. "I'll give you one more chance to admit your lives could be worse and leave smiling, or the experiment will begin!"
Heero, never one to smile, replied-
"You don't scare me."
"Have it your way, G-boy." She said, a cyberspace keyboard that was half there and half not appearing in front of her. "Engaging DBZ characters."
"What the-!" Trowa exclaimed, as suddenly his skin turned green, two short antenna popped out of his head, and his muscles bulged. His outfit changed too, becoming a swami costume so strange people would stare even on Halloween. All the other G-boys began to bustle with muscle too, Heero's hair becoming an intense Super Sayain blond, as with Wufei; Quatre shrunk until he was about the height of a ten year old; and Duo turned into a teenager with a sword over his back. The only thing that remained almost the same was their faces.
"Transformation complete." Washsu announced. "You've all become characters from the Dragonball Z television show. Heero, you're Goku, Wufei, you're Vegita because of your arrogant nature, Trowa, being the strong silent type, is Piccolo, Duo, you're Trunks, and Quatre, you're-"
"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO US YOU WITCH!!!" Wufei/Vegita exclaimed.
"Like I said, you're now the characters of Dragonball Z." Washsu stated. "Quatre, you're Krillin, one of the few humans in this group."
"Hey guys!" Duo/Trunks exclaimed, lifting off the ground and swinging his sword. "I can fly!"
"You can fly, shoot energy from your fists, and some of you can become Super Sayains by screaming really loud and turning up your power level." Washsu exclaimed.
"This rules!" Duo exclaimed, shooting a blast that wiped out a far-off mountain range. "If this is your idea of torture, lady, you can experiment on me any day!"
"This is a lot better than our lives back home." Trowa/Piccolo said, testing out his newfound muscle power with a few punches. "What's so bad about this?"
"Yeah, this rules!" Duo added. "I'm super-Duo!"
"Speak for yourself; I'm a midget!" Quatre/Krillin exclaimed.
"Wait... something's missing..." Washsu thought out loud, then suddenly Treize appeared nearby. Only he wasn't Treize, he was a freaky humanoid grasshopper with a human face and really big muscles. Treize/Cell.
"Ah, that's what was missing!" Washsu exclaimed. "Meet your sparring partner, G-boys. Who's up first?"
After seriously getting their butts whooped by Treize/Cell, the G-boys got sent to another weird universe, materializing aboard the starship Enterprise.
"OK," Washsu began. "Heero, you get to play captain Kirk, Wufei is chief engineer Scotty,-"
"Wrong . I'm not playing a Scottish drunk." Wufei retorted.
"Would you rather be a Tribble?" Washsu threatened, holding up a living blue cotton ball. Wufei was silent. "OK, Duo, you can be weapons officer Sulu, Quatre, you get the part as navigation officer Checkov, and Trowa-"
"Wait, let me guess. I'm Spock, right?"
"Good guess! Now lets get started!"
Everyone took their respective seats. Duo, being impatient, started firing of photon torpedoes into empty space. Trowa's ears grew into two points and his eyebrows turned inward. Heero had a seriously weird voice change, as did Wufei, and Washsu reminded Trowa that he wasn't allowed to use any contractions when he talked.
"Engaging simulation!" Washsu said, pressing a button on her transparent black keyboard. The front view screen suddenly displayed a large green ship that looked like-
"Aw, shoot. Klingons." Duo said. "I'll blast you to-"
"Duo, remember! You're Russian!"
"Eyy blas ye to spaace duust!" Duo said, doing a Russian voice.
Well, turns out the Enterprise was on a diplomacy mission. Duo toasted the Klingon ship, but then twenty more showed up and turned the Enterprise into debris.
"OK, this time everything should be pretty simple." Washsu said. "Since you're all familiar with big giant fighting robots and stuff..."
Heero, Duo, Wufei, Trowa, and Quatre all stood nearby, wearing Power Ranger outfits with the helmets tucked under their arms. Quatre was in-the-Pink, Trowa was feeling kinda Blue, Heero was turning Red, Wufei (extremely embarrassed) wore Yellow, and Duo got the part of the Black Ranger.
"This is insulting." Wufei muttered.
"Hey, at least you're in another Ban-Dai show. I could've turned you into Daffy duck or Taz. Be thankful." Washsu instructed.
"I'm not talking about that!" Wufei exclaimed. "Everybody knows that the Yellow Ranger is a girl!!!"
"Hey, I can't please everybody, ya know." Washsu stated with a glare.
"I'm with Wufei; this bites." Quatre stated.
"Speak for yourself!" Duo exclaimed, holding up a battleaxe. "I could get to like this!"
"Places people!" Washsu said. And, with the putting on of helmets, it began. An overblown fight sequence with a humanoid plant monster, I mean. Wufei, getting tired of just slicing at the creep with his daggers, threw one square into the thing's forehead. A shower of sparks erupted from the dagger and the creature fell over; Wufei seemed greatly disappointed that he wasn't allowed to stab his foe to death. Suddenly, a brassy voice from the moon shouted...
"... Make my monster grow...!"
Lightning flashed and everything got dark for a minute as the monster's growth spurt began. Smoke hissed from below it's feet as it turned into a living skyscraper.
"Great. Just what we needed right now; a plant as big as a city." Heero sighed. "At least this time we're not gonna get beaten up; everybody knows that the Power Rangers never lose."
"What I wouldn't give for a flamethrower." Wufei muttered. "Alright, alright. Let's try out those dinosaur mobile suit things."
On cue, five dinosaur-like giant robots showed up. Without explanation, they began to shift and transform into one giant warrior robot with a sword, the Mighty Morphin Gundam Rangers suddenly materializing inside.
The battle got rough as the monster wrapped a bunch of vines around the Mega(dumb)Zord. Suddenly, though, what sounded like a flute sounded out a series of notes and a wingless dragon robot showed up. Heero looked out the cockpit window to see a green Ranger with a gold thingy over his shoulders blowing out notes through a dagger. Heero had to wonder why that didn't cut the guy's lip open. At any rate, the dragon's fingers locked and loaded a set of missiles and turned the plant into a flaming leaf.
"Finally, we actually win a fight." Heero muttered, but then the dragon bot's drill-tipped tail lashed out and put a hole in the Megazord's chest. "HEY! WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA!" Heero exclaimed.
"Heero, it's your fault I'm in this stupid costume." Zechs/Green Ranger stated. "And I do not like Power Rangers, so if I destroy you maybe Washsu'll let me go back to my own world. So this time, die quickly, if you don't mind."
Make a long, overdrawn battle short, Zechs/Green kicked the Megazord's butt by shooting missiles at them from a distance until the legs collapsed, then drilled the G-boy's into defeat.
"I am beginning to hate this." Heero stated, nearly showing an emotion: anger. This time, he and the others were in the Ronin Warriors show. "Alright, who's gonna kick our butts this time?"
"I'm beginning to enjoy this." Dorothy/ Lady Caira said, pulling out a pair of trim swords.
"And..." Washsu said, acting like a movie producer. "Action!"
"Oh no. Not a chance. This is going too far." Trowa replied. "There's no way in the universe I'm getting into THAT."
"Well, then, convince Heero here that your regular lives aren't all that bad, and I'll send you back." Washsu instructed.
But Heero would not be moved.
"I'm the perfect soldier. I refuse to be beaten by a mad scientist."
"They you can be the perfect SAILOR soldier, too." Washsu said, holding out a costume. Nearby, Relena stood dressed in a black tuxedo, accented by a long cape, and stylish eye mask. She, unlike everybody else, seemed to be enjoying her role.
Treize/Magus let loose with yet another Dark Matter attack. Heero/Crono was the first hit, followed by Duo/Robo, Relena/Marle, Trowa/Frog, and then the others. Heero, getting back to his feet, threw a lightning bolt at Treize, but by the time he did Treize had changed his barrier type to Shadow. When the corona of dark energy hit, Heero realized that this, like every other scenario so far, was no-win to begin with.
"This... is most definitely worse that everything else so far." Trowa stated. For the first time in a while, the G-boys were back to being themselves. Sort of. Each held a sphere in his hand, half painted red and half white with a button where the two colors met.
"Alright," Washsu stated. "I've selected a Pokemon for each of you based on your own unique characteristics. Now, since I figure you're all getting tired of getting beat up by foes you know nothing about, this scenario pits you against each other. Ready... and... GO!"
Duo's Scyther wiped out Trowa's Machamp with it's Sky Attack. Heero's Pidgeot made short work of Quatre's Sandslash with a Wing Attack. Wufei toasted Duo's Scyther with his Charizard's Flamethrower attack. After that, in an epic battle that took a while, Heero's Pidgeot won out against Wufei's Charizard. Heero looked pleased with himself, and Wufei just fumed.
"I never liked Pokemon anyway." Wufei stated. "Too weak."
Heero/Luke Skywalker blasted guard after guard with his laser pistol while Duo/ Han Solo busied himself kicking in the grating that led to the waste compartment. Trowa/C3P0 would have been shooting down storm troopers too, but only his thumb could move independent of the rest of his fingers. Meanwhile, Wufei/R2D2 pleeped, beeped, and cussed in robot language while Quatre/Obi-Wan was somewhere far off deactivating the power core. Suddenly, a black figure (Treize/ Darth Vader) came out of the distance in the hallway and reflected laser beams straight back at the G-boys, hitting them with accuracy. As Heero lay there on the floor, sorta acting like he was dead but also sorta unable to do anything but follow Washsu's script for fear of being turned into a Wookie, Treize laughed.
"I always liked Star Wars. I have the scripts memorized."
"OK, this is where this stops." Heero growled. This time they were playing parts as the X-Men. "I am not going to be a laser-eyes cyclops."
"Oh yes you are, unless you're finally gonna admit your world isn't so bad."
"C'mon, Heero. Just do as she says!" Quatre pleaded.
"This is torture! We've been maimed, blasted, pounded, drilled, sliced, diced; this STINKS!" Duo exclaimed.
But Heero, the perfect soldier, would never admit to defeat.
Or so it seemed, until the next location.
The Simpsons.
"Look, Heero, there's no way I'm playing ANY part that has ANYTHING to do with this show, much less a school principal." Wufei shouted in defiance. "Why don't we just kill Washsu and figure out how to get home ourselves?????"
"Because even if you could, and that's highly unlikely, you'd be stuck in Simpson's world for ever." The added as an afterthought. "And you'd be getting rid of your number one fan. You don't want that, do you??"
Then, something just snapped inside Heero's well-trained mind.
"ALRIGHT! I give! Just send us home!"
"Two things first." Washsu stated.
"What?! Anything; just send us back to Gundam Wing!"
"You do realize that all this time I've just been trying to protect you all from dying of boredom, right?" Washsu inquired. "Numero uno: admit that there are far worse fates than Gundam Wing."
"There are *far* worse fates." Heero agreed.
"Second..." A mischievous smirk came over Washsu. "I wanna see you smile, Heero. Just one smile."
Reluctantly, Heero forced the corners of his mouth upwards into an actual human smile. The other four gasped in disbelief.
Then Washsu pulled a camera out from behind her back and captured the moment on film.
"This," She said, holding up the camera. "Is going to be a legend among Gundam fans for eternity."
"Can we go home now??" Heero inquired, agitated that his training had failed him.
"K."
It was a pretty normal day in the GW universe, a lot like most other days during the year AC 195. The sun was shining, the wind blew gently...
And the Gundam boys were busy taking out a massive OZ military base.
The End