LET'S TRY THIS AGAIN
"Why are you being so secretive about this trip?" Felicity straps herself into her seat on the jet.
"I'm not being secretive, I told you to pack warm clothes."
"And that was the end of the conversation." she sighs giving Oliver a very serious look. "It's not Lian Yu is it? I know it's significant to you, but I really hate that island. Come on Oliver, you know how much I hate mysteries, so why are you keeping the destination from me?"
"It's a surprise Felicity and no it's not Lian Yu."
He means to sound a bit more excited but she can hear the nervousness in his tone….or was it something else that she was hearing? Either way she decides to leave the topic and indulge him. Clearly this meant something to him, so pushing him for an answer might not be the best choice at the moment.
Felicity leans on the windowsill of their hotel room, overlooking the beautiful city lights of Moscow. It looks like a fairytale with the white blanket of snow all around them. She's only experienced snow twice in her life before – it was Christmas morning during her final year at MIT. No one had expected it to snow on Christmas so it was quite the miracle as everyone described it. The second was the time they went to Russia to save Lyla. She winces at the thought and tries to put it out of her mind and bury it where it should have stayed by the way.
A pair of strong arms envelopes her from behind and the chilliness she wasn't even aware of evaporates as his heat covers every inch of her body.
He places a soft kiss on her cheek and smiles as she feels highly strung man from a few hours ago disappears.
"So, care to share why you decided on Russia for our first wedding anniversary?"
And just like that he retreats within himself again and she knows that it wasn't just nervousness, something's up and she's not letting this go.
"Oliver…." she turns around to look at him and he leads them to the couch to sit down.
She gives him a few minutes to sort his thoughts and just when she's about to tell him to spit it out he starts talking.
"I wanted to give you a 'do over'."
"A 'do over'? Oliver, what are you talking about? Why do I need a 'do over'?
"The last time we were here it didn't really go that well."
"I still don't understand, we saved Lyla and went home safe after the mission….that was the mission right? Did I miss something?"
He placed his hand on hers making her shiver at his touch. "No there wasn't anything else where the mission was concerned….I'm talking about us."
When she only responds with a frown he takes the time to continue.
"Felicity, that night when you came to my room and saw Isabel leaving…..I….when I saw your face and disappointment written all over it I knew I messed up and that was one of the worst feelings I have ever had."
"But why? We weren't even together then. I had no right to show you how I felt. You weren't mine to have, so why did it bother you so much?"
"Because that was the moment I realised I had fallen for you. There were moments before that I knew something was happening and I didn't want to give in to my desires and feelings, because I knew I couldn't be good for you and that you deserved someone….whole."
"Hence the 'because of the life I lead speech'."
"Yes." He says embarrassed.
"Okay…..but it still doesn't explain why we need a 'do over'."
"I wanted to bring you back here and show you the places I told you about the Bratva in my journal. I want to make it up to you because you had a horrible experience the last time you were here. I wan…."
"Oliver…." She interrupts him and scoots closer to him on the couch, taking both his hands in hers and gives him a soft smile. "Honey, you know I love you right?"
He nods and tries to break eye contact but the blue of her eyes entrances him and he cannot bring himself to look away.
"Thank you for trying to do this and I get why, I really do, but the day I said 'I do' and promised to spend the rest of my life with you…..that day was the day that everything that had happened in the past was buried for me. This was the day that a new chapter started and I don't want to spend our first anniversary trying to make up for past mistakes. I want to be here with you to make new memories….experience new things with you, not because you feel guilty but because we're here together now, celebrating our future."
He gives her a smile and she knows that smile – that smile is the his real smile, his smile when he feels he can breathe and he looks at her knowing all is well with the world.
Without an answer his lips are on hers and all the guilt and the fear melt away. It's just them – just his beautiful wife curled up in his arms as the snow falls outside.
Never again will he think back to Russia as a place of death and blood or a place where he saw disappointment on the face of the woman he loves – Russia will be the place where new memories were made with that same woman he finally got to marry – the place where his baby boy, born 38 weeks later, was conceived out of the deep love that he has for his mother – the place where he knew that he was lucky enough to live a modern day fairy tale.