Summary: Jacob Ben Israel posts a video involving Sam and Kurt. All hell breaks loose. SamKurt
Author's Notes: I want Kurt and Sam, even though they probably won't get together at this point. A girl can dream though, right?
"You've reached the message machine of Kurt Hummel. Sadly, I am not by my phone to answer this call. But if you leave a message after the beep, I may or may not call back, depending on how important the message is."
BEEEEEEP!
"Kurt, it's your girl, Mercedes. Check Ben Israel's site right now. You won't believe what he's just posted. As a matter of fact, neither can I. Then, call me back. You have some explaining to do boy."
.-.
"Kurt, wait up!" Tina called, holding Mike's hand as they spotted the boy down the hall. Frowning, Kurt turned to see the two hurrying toward him in confusion.
"Now, what do I owe this pleasure?" he asked curiously, a twinkle in his eye. Mike glanced at Tina before speaking for her.
"Did you catch Jacob Ben Israel's video he posted last night? Somehow, the few fans he has saw it and sent the video to everyone, and everyone has seen it!" Mike declared. Kurt continued to look confused as he opened his locker to take out a couple of books.
"Everyone except me. I choose not to follow the blog of a poor, creepy pedophile that has nothing better to do than to spread vicious rumours and gossip about people like some grade 6 middle school girl obsessed with Twilight and the thought that they could actually meet Robert Pattinson," Kurt told the two, shoving the books in his bag before slamming his locker shut.
"Well, you won't believe the video he posted. Kurt, it's-"Tina started before Kurt faced the two, holding up a hand to interrupt them.
"What Jacob Ben Israel posts on his blog is none of my concern, nor am I interested in what he chooses to write. So whatever it is, just like I told Mercedes last night, keep it to yourselves because I do not want to know," Kurt said simply before walking past the two Asians. Once he was out of sight, Mike turned to Tina.
"But everyone in the school is talking about the video. Kurt's gonna be bombarded with accusations and questions," Mike told Tina, who nodded in agreement.
"He'll know exactly what the video is at the end of the day, no doubt," she said, glancing at the direction where Kurt disappeared off to. There was a pause before Mike spoke again.
"You know, I heard this really great Asian joke that-"Mike started before Tina let out a little cry of frustration, storming off. Mike frowned, confused. "What did I say?" he wondered before following his girlfriend.
.-.
"Dude, what the hell?" Finn asked as he approached Kurt with Artie and Puck by his side as Kurt stared at the three boys, who looked eager for information.
"I have three minutes to get to my World History class. I don't have time for the guessing games," Kurt said simply as he continued strolling down the hall as the three boys jogged to catch up to his stride.
"The video that Creepy Jacob posted last night? We need answers," Artie explained to Kurt, who shrugged as he glanced at them momentarily before continuing on his way.
"I don't know what you boys are talking about. I don't get why you keep going to Jacob's blog. It never has anything useful or remotely interesting on it. I do not want to know what this video is about; if it is about me, then it probably does not have good intentions, and I am trying to block out the bad in my life," Kurt said coolly.
"You know we're not great friends, like, at all Hummel. But that video of you? It was kind of vague but it still had some dirty intentions," Puck answered. Kurt stopped and faced the three, sighing as he placed a hand on his hip.
"I do not know what you are talking about, but whatever Jacob posted, well, he's a very dirty teenager with promiscuous thoughts, so there is bound to be some sexual innuendos mentioned. Now, if you excuse me, I'm getting to class, and no, I will not be watching the video," Kurt said. Finn stepped in front of Kurt, however, blocking his path.
"Kurt, you know I like you, and we're almost step brothers and all. But if our parents ever caught a glimpse of that video, well, you might be in trouble. It really lets off a sexual message and, well, I don't want you getting in trouble if your dad happens to see it," Finn tried but Kurt shook his head, pushing past the taller boy.
"And if that ever does happen, I will be sure to watch the video then. But for now, it is not my problem. Excuse me, the bell is going to ring in a minute," Kurt said before turning the corner, leaving the three confused boys behind.
"Dude, seriously, that video had me getting a little hot and heavy. I mean him and Sam?" Puck told the two, who laughed nervously.
"Yeah, I have to admit that it did sound dirty and kind of kinky, if you ask me. Tina and I never had that kind of intimate relationship before. I didn't even know Sam was-"Artie started before Finn cleared his throat nervously.
"Guys, we don't even know what Jacob posted was real. I mean, we never actually, you know, saw anything," Finn tried weakly but Puck scoffed.
"That kind of dialogue? It screams sexual. Dude, I was getting turned on by it, and I'm a dude that only likes chicks," Puck told Finn who grimaced as Artie hesitantly nodded in agreement.
"It was kind of...intimate. Besides, Kurt will probably watch the video, or at least will know what we're talking about and then we'll get our answers. If not, then we ask Sam," Artie said. Finn sighed as he nodded. They could have asked Sam that day but the blonde string quarterback was sick at home (or avoiding everyone) so it was Kurt who they had to question.
The bell suddenly rang, making Artie grimace a bit as he wheeled down the hallway to get to class, leaving Finn and Puck alone.
"I guess I'm off to class," Finn said, sighing. Puck nodded, glancing down the hallway before back at Finn, shrugging.
"I'm off to the nurse's office. Later," Puck said before the two parted ways.
.-.
"Hummel," Santana said as she and Brittany strolled up to Kurt during lunch. Kurt, at his locker, sighed as he turned to the two ladies.
"What do I owe this pleasure? And let's make this snappy. I have to work on some homework in the library," Kurt asked. Brittany smiled a bit as she placed a hand on Kurt's chest. He rolled his eyes but didn't do anything; it was Brittany, after all.
"We saw the video with you and Sam. Kind of kinky, even for you," Santana stated, getting straight to the point. Brittany nodded dreamily as Kurt raised his eyebrows. He sighed as he shut his locker door before turning back to them.
"I do not know, nor do I want to know what Jacob Ben Israel has to say about Sam and I. For your information, we are friends and just friends and whatever he caught us doing was a complete misunderstanding," Kurt stated but Brittany moved closer to Kurt, her hand trailing down Kurt's chest. He faltered only for a moment as Santana just clenched her jaw, her hand tightly intertwined with Brittany's.
"But what we saw and heard- we could totally have a foursome," Brittany told Kurt and his eyes widened just for a moment but he composed himself, looking at the two girls.
"Like I said before, whatever Jacob caught on video was a misunderstanding," he stated dryly. Santana rolled her eyes as she stepped forward so she was right beside Brittany once again.
"Listen here, Hummel. We know hot, passionate moments when we hear one. You can't deny what Jacob caught you doing was totally gay, which means that makes Blondie just like you," Santana told Kurt, who just scoffed as he pulled away from the two girls.
"I'm not denying anything. I'm just stating that none of it is true," Kurt said. Brittany frowned, tilting her head.
"But how do you know it's not true if you haven't seen the video?" she asked. Santana glanced at Brittany before smirking.
"Yeah Hummel, Brit's right. You have to see the video before making any harsh judgements," Santana said. But Kurt remained defiant as he just laughed and hoisted his bag on his shoulders.
"Ladies, I'm pretty sure I know what you're implying, but I will not watch the lies that Jacob posts on his blog. Now, I am going to go to the library now. Have fun sexting with each other," Kurt said before he vanished out of sight. The two remained quiet before Brittany spoke up.
"I like cheese. Let's go make out."
.-.
"Kurt, we need to talk," Rachel said as she cornered Kurt in the choir room just before Glee started. He raised his eyebrow but stayed silent, knowing exactly why she was talking to him. "I was sent a video last night by Finn as well as a handful of students I didn't even know had my e-mail address and it was a video that Jacob Ben Israel posted on his blog, which I refuse to read ever since he started stalking me. And I-"she started before Kurt cut her off.
"Listen, Princess. I have been approached by almost every Glee member, as well as a few Cheerios and other students that caught the video and I am not going to tell you, of all people, anything. No, I have not seen the video, and no, I will not watch it. Whatever Jacob posted of Sam and I, it is nobody's business. Frankly, it is probably not what you guys are thinking of anyways. It is probably a misunderstanding and I know this because Sam and I are just friends. Are we done here?" Kurt asked boredly, looking at his fingernails at the end of his speech. Rachel looked speechless but quickly came up with something.
"Actually, no. I think that if you and Sam were linked together romantically, it would be a good thing. You see, you wouldn't be lonely anymore and then almost all of the Glee kids would be paired up together. You and Sam, Brittany and Santana, Finn and I, Mike and Tina, Quinn and Puck, I mean the only ones that aren't paired off are Mercedes and Artie," Rachel spoke. Kurt laughed dryly as he set his bag down before facing Rachel again.
"I do not see how it would be a good thing, but Jacob is spreading a vicious rumour around and whatever he caught us doing isn't correct. I know you're probably trying to make this video somehow about you, but it isn't. So, back off and stop talking about it," Kurt said before turning away and taking a seat just as the other Glee kids started walking in. Rachel's mouth hung open but she quickly shut it as she quietly took a seat next to her boyfriend, stunned.
.-.
He managed to get everyone to stop pestering him and he thought he was off the hook until, after Glee, a voice spoke to him as he was gathering his things.
"Kurt, can we talk for a minute?" Quinn asked as Kurt turned to find her the last person in the room with him. Kurt sighed a bit as he gathered up his stuff before nodding.
"Can we make this quick? I have to get home to cook dinner for my dad," Kurt said slowly. He had a feeling that Quinn would be around to talk to him about the video. He hadn't even seen it, and yet he knew it was a misunderstanding. Quinn sighed as she wrapped her arms around her body protectively before speaking.
"You're good friends with Sam, right?" she asked, startling him a bit. Wondering if this was going to lead into the topic of the video, he nodded slowly. "Well, I was just wondering if he told you why he broke up with me two weeks ago. It's just that- I never got a clear answer, and I've been so curious, but too afraid to ask him directly," Quinn continued, surprising Kurt even more. He thought for sure she would ask about this video. He had to admit though, curiosity was eating at him.
"Um, well, no, he didn't mention anything about it. He just hated that he hurt you, that's all he told me," Kurt admitted, picking at his cuticle. Quinn looked down at her feet, nodding silently. He sighed deeply; he did feel bad for her. He could even see that Quinn liked Sam a lot, and Sam did like her as well. He placed a hand on Quinn's shoulder comfortingly.
"You're going to find a great guy one day that loves you and cherishes you and will want to be with you forever," he told her. Quinn offered a small smile at Kurt.
"Thanks. I just thought I'd ask," Quinn said softly. Kurt nodded before grabbing his bag before heading to the door. Quinn sighed before she finally spoke up. "Kurt, I know you haven't seen the video, but do you know anything that could explain it? The voices are clearly yours and Sam's, and obviously, you know something about it."
Kurt sighed as he quickly turned to Quinn, shaking his head. "I do not know what this video is even about, and I don't want to know, so unless I see this video, you won't be getting any clear answers," he stated coolly before continuing out the door. Quinn sighed as she followed him out.
"I tried," she texted Puck before slipping her phone back in her pocket.
.-.
Sam got bombarded the next day by every single Glee member, excluding Kurt, which was surprising. He was in bed all day with the flu, and he was still a little off, and since he didn't have his phone by his bedside he didn't keep in contact with anyone. He looked around at everyone, offering a small laugh. Sam tried to focus on one voice, but after a while, the voices began blending together and was giving Sam a headache on top of the queasiness. He shut his eyes tightly before whistling loudly, getting the whole group to be silent.
"Guys, I'm still a little sick so can you back off and speak one at a time, please?" Sam asked. The whole group obliged and Mercedes stepped forward.
"What the hell is up with you and Kurt?" Mercedes asked. When Sam frowned in confusion, Puck took over to explain.
"There's a video on Creepy Israel's blog about you and Kurt. Hummel won't say anything to confirm or deny because he won't watch the video. Are you guys sleeping together or what?" Puck added. Sam frowned in confusion as he rubbed his temples a bit.
"Video? Well, I don't go on Creepy Jacob's, uh, site or blog, so I don't know what you guys are talking about, but we are definitely not sleeping together," Sam admitted. Rachel sighed as Santana and Brittany grabbed Sam and the group dragged him into the library and sat him down to show him the video.
"Is the camera on? Good," Jacob spoke in the empty hallway of the school. He cleared his throat, holding the camera up to his mouth before continuing. "I'm Jacob Ben Israel with the latest hot Glee news that you all are dying to know. Now right behind these doors, I heard the voices of the GayTard and the Newbie. Having hot, glorious sex within those doors? It might be too scarring to show you, but let's listen in," Jacob continued before they stepped closer to the door. It took a few seconds, but finally, the voices began to ring clear (definitely some kind of geek helping Jacob enhance the voices so his audience could hear them better)
"No, no, you're doing it all wrong! Wrong foot Sam!" Kurt's voice spoke harshly. There was some shuffling and some grunting but finally, it stopped.
"Well sorry that I can barely move, let alone see it!" Sam argued. There was another huff of annoyance and silence for a few more seconds before Kurt yelped.
"Ow, stop being so rough Evans! Watch where you put your hand!"
"I'm sorry! Like I said, not a good position to be in right now!"
"Well, move slower and be more careful. If you injure me, it'll be on your hands!"
"Yeah, yeah, I know," Sam huffed. There was more silence before some struggling and some grunting.
"God, Kurt, now who's being rough?" Sam asked, his voice clearly breathless. The camera quickly panned to Jacob's stunned and disturbing face before back toward the door.
"Hey, this isn't as easy as it looks! I used to be so good; you're messing me up," Kurt snapped back. There was more shuffling and hard breathing until finally there was a crash and a yelp.
"Look what you made me do! We almost broke the table!" Kurt complained. Jacob let out a quiet yelp as he quickly faced the camera.
"I would go in and get this on tape, but it might be disturbing for younger viewers," Jacob said, but the look on his face clearly showed his pleasure and amusement of the situation.
"No, you almost broke the table. If you hadn't have moved so quickly, we could still be going," Sam said. Some more shuffling was done and Kurt sighed.
"Well, your dad's probably here anyways, so we should probably pack this up," Kurt said.
"Didn't even think this would happen, at school of all places," Sam commented.
That was all that was heard as Jacob and the cameraman hurried down the hall, out of sight. Once they were safe, Jacob looked at the camera, a hungry filled lust look in his eyes.
"There you have it folks. Audio proof that Sam Evans is totally gay for Kurt Hummel. Did this newbie break up with Sexy Mom Quinn Fabray to date dudes? Only time will tell. This is Jacob, signing out," Jacob said, grinning before the camera turned blank.
Sam blinked several times and was silent for many moments before finally bursting out into a fit of laughter. Surprised, the rest of the Gleeks stared at him.
"Why are you laughing?" Tina asked. Sam had to take a few minutes to settle down, though. Finally, when he was calm enough, he explained.
"That was over last week, when I got stuck at school and Kurt offered to chill with me while I waited for my dad. I happened to find Twister in one of the teacher's closests and we were playing Twister," Sam told them. Humiliation and realization settled in as all of the Gleeks stared at each other, feeling guilty and stupid.
"Well, that makes sense, I guess," Finn muttered. Mercedes smacked her head as Mike sighed, hanging his head.
"That's what Kurt meant," Rachel muttered. Sam just laughed as he stood up, grabbing his bag.
"Well, I gotta go. I'll see you guys later. I'm sure Kurt will be thrilled to hear what you guys thought we were doing," Sam said, still laughing as he walked out the door, leaving the group to their thoughts.
.-.
Kurt had his headphones in, tapping his foot along to the beat as he sat on the bleachers during lunch. He felt somebody tap his shoulder and he took out his headphones to see Sam standing there, grinning as he took a seat next to Kurt.
"Hey," he greeted Kurt. The fashionista smiled softly at him as he placed a hand on Sam's thigh.
"So, I heard that you explained everything to the group. Finn came up to me, apologizing about a bazillion times and Puck even grunted out an apology. Though Brittany is still convinced to have a foursome with her and Santana," Kurt said lightly. Sam rolled his eyes but squeezed Kurt's hand back.
"You know, that wouldn't be such a bad idea," Sam commented, his eyes twinkling. Kurt smacked Sam lightly on the arm before laughing. Kurt leaned against Sam lightly, who didn't seem to mind one bit.
"You know, if they ever found out what we did after we played Twister, they would be scarred for life," Kurt commented, causing Sam to grin like an idiot.
"Yeah, who knew that they were actually, partially right?" Sam asked aloud. The two looked at each other before Kurt glanced at his watch.
"I gotta meet Mercedes, Tina, Mike and Artie for a tutoring session. But I'll see you afterschool," Kurt said, standing up. Sam nodded as he kissed Kurt lightly before pulling back. Kurt grabbed his bag, swinging it over his shoulder before bouncing off into the school, Sam just grinning as he settled back into the bleachers.
Like the twists I added in? Obviously I had to bring them together. Reviews would be awesome!