Author's Note: This idea just came randomly into my head one night while I was trying to sleep. It's really short, and it was pretty easy to write; I'm always better at writing those conversational fics…

Disclaimer: Though I own several seasons of South Park episodes, I don't own the show.

Love and Marriage

Kyle was indulging in a bowl of cornflakes when his phone gave an impatient ring. Hoping, and yet knowing that it wouldn't stop, he allowed it a few more rings before finally sighing in defeat and picking up the receiver. "Hello?" he inquired. He was greeted with an overenthusiastic shriek that jolted the boy out of his half-asleep state.

"KYLE!"

Immediately, Kyle held the phone away from him at arm's length to avoid becoming deaf. "Stan? What are you doing? You never call me." At six in the morning, he wasn't exactly delighted to be talking to his life-long friend.

"Kyle, I just made the most important decision of my life!" his best friend's voice was so loud that it was becoming distorted over the line.

"Will you stop yelling already?" the Jewish boy snapped, annoyed. Staying awake until two in the morning to study for a math test did not do anything to improve his mood.

"Sorry," Stan answered, his voice lowering once again to its normal volume.

"Well, what?"

"I just made the most important decision of my life last night!"

"Which was…?"

"I asked Wendy to marry me, Kyle, and she said yes!"

Kyle felt his agitation melt away. "Really? That's fantastic!" he exclaimed, genuinely happy for his best friend, who had been smitten with Wendy Testaburger since before he could even say her name.

"I know! I've known her for so long… How could I not do it?"

"So why are you calling me?"

"Because, dude, I need you to be my best man! You will, right?"

Kyle couldn't help but grin even though there was no way his best friend could see it. "Of course I will!"

"That's awesome! Thanks so much dude!"

"Wow, Stan…" Kyle mused. "I can't believe you're getting married! I feel like it was just yesterday when all of us were just in kindergarten together."

"Those were the days…" Stan trailed off reminiscently.

"Yeah," Kyle agreed. "What I wouldn't give to have such a simple life again." The Jewish boy changed the subject. "But, anyway, enough of that. Have you guys started planning yet? Did you give her a ring?"

Kyle could practically hear his friend's grin over the telephone line. "Yeah! It was really nice… I bought it at the mall in Denver last week."

"Did she like it?"

"She loved it, Kyle! You should have seen her face. She looked so beautiful…" Stan trailed off, and Kyle decided to crack a joke to prevent the situation from becoming more awkward.

"Did you throw up on her?" he chortled.

Stan scoffed angrily on the other line. "Very funny, asswipe. You know I haven't done that in ages."

"Yeah, yeah… I know. I'm just kidding."

"You'd better be," Stan replied with an implied threat.

"I am! Jesus!"

Suddenly, Stan's voice returned to being happy-go-lucky. "So I think Wendy wants a spring wedding… Either that or a summer one. We want it to be outside, so it can't be during the winter…"

He trailed off, but Kyle was suddenly hit with a thought. "Stan, why are we talking about weddings?"

"Because I'm going to marry Wendy, dude! I just told you that."

"Yeah, I know, but when are you going to marry Wendy?"

"Huh? Oh, I dunno. In like fifteen years or something."

"Oh, that's good."

"Yeah, dude. I don't think I want to get married when I'm nine."

"Yeah, that'd be pretty gay."

"Yeah, I know."

"So I'll see you at school?"

"Yeah. Bye, dude."

Kyle heard a click on the other line. He put the phone back on the receiver and finished his cereal.

Author's Note: Haha? Was that funny? I can't tell.