This is my first fan fiction, but I am not going to ask you to be gentle about the reviews. If you hate it, then voice your opinion! I would love to hear it. This is a Metalocalypse fiction that I have been putting together in my head for quite a while. If you do not like Nathan X Pickles, then please do not read it. I apologize for any out-of-character-ness. Enjoy! The fate of this story rests on your keyboards; my friends (please review).
Warnings: Explicit content inappropriate for individuals under the age of 18; Yaoi (Guy/Guy), profanity, drug and alcohol usage, possible out-of-character-ness, and the possible slaughter of Pickles', Toki's, and Skwisgaar's accents.
Disclaimer: I own nothing affiliated with Dethklok or Metalocalypse.
Pickles stumbled down the halls of Mordhaus. "Doo…doo doo-DA!" He had been singing the same jingle for the past hour and a half. He didn't have a shirt on and the alcohol on his breath was overwhelming. To any passer-by, it was quite obvious what he had been doing. He had raided Ofdensen's liquor cabinet while the poor CFO was off fixing yet another problem caused by the band, and got completely trashed on brandy and some fancy wine. He did this a lot, waited until the rest of the band were tucked away in their rooms, and went on a drunken stroll through the Haus. It was like a ritual for him.
Pickles began snapping his fingers and bobbing his head slowly to his made up jingle. He was so drunk that he didn't know what hall he was in.
He didn't know whose door he walked up to. Didn't even know he knocked until a looming figure opened the door. "Uh… Pickles? What do you want?" Pickles looked up through half-lidded eyes. Nathan stood in the doorway with a book in hand and reading glasses in place on the bridge of his nose. "Nat'an! Ahm drunk… Hey… when did you turn yer… yer room sideways?" Pickles began to fall forward.
Nathan watched him fall flat on his face. He shook his head. "Pickles, go away. You're too drunk for me to talk to. And I'm busy anyways." Pickles lifted his head. "Busy lookin' at a book? Only stoopid people do dat, dood." He got on all fours and crawled past Nathan into his room. "Pickles… get out. Now."
"Awww… c'mon, Nat'an… drink wit' me." Pickles crawled up on Nathan's bed and sat. He pulled an un-opened bottle of Svedka vodka out of his pants. He snickered. "I nabbed 'dis from Skwisgaar's room." Nathan chewed his fingernail. "Well… I DO like vodka." He closed the door.
He set his book and glasses down and sat beside Pickles. Pickles handed the bottle to Nathan. "Here… open it… Ahm too drunk." Nathan twisted it opened and took a long swig. He gulped, letting out a satisfied grunt. "Now that's the stuff." He passed the bottle to Pickles, who tossed back his head and took a gulp.
All too soon, the bottle of vodka was gone, and Nathan and Pickles sat on Nathan's bed, doing various animal impersonations. "Heh heh… Look, Pickles, I'm an ant," Nathan proclaimed. Nathan took his finger and lightly trailed it up Pickles' bare arm. Pickles squealed and jerked away. "Dood, dat tickled!"
Nathan smirked mischievously. "So… are you ticklish, Pickles?" Pickles recovered and pulled out another bottle of booze. "Heh, no. I'm naht." He twisted open the bottle of rum and took a swig. He passed it to Nathan, who sat it on the floor. Pickles nudged him. "Dood, drink dat shit!" Pickles looked up at Nathan. "Dood, what da fuck? Drink dat sh…" Pickles paused. Nathan was grinning at him. "…What're ya starin' at, dood? Is dere somthin' ahn my face?" Pickles began running his hands over his face.
Without warning, Nathan lunged forward and trapped Pickles beneath his much larger frame. "Nat'an, stahp-"
He erupted into a fit of giggles as Nathan began tickling his sides. Pickles tried to slap the hands away, but he was laughing so much and he was so intoxicated, he could do nothing else but lay there and take it. "Oh my gahd! I can't breathe!" Nathan laughed at Pickles dilemma, but rolled off of him and let the drummer catch his breath.
"Dat… was a dick move, Nat'an," Pickles said, rolling over to face the singer. "But it was funny," Nathan retorted, still laughing. "Yeah, fer you…" Pickles grumbled. He sat up and retrieved the bottle of rum that Nathan had sat on the floor. He passed it to the front man. "Here's to… gettin' more trashed!" Pickles pulled a pipe out of his pocket. "And high at the same time!" they lightly clinked the bottle and pipe together. Nathan gulped the bottle at the same time that Pickles pulled a lighter out of his pocket and hit the pipe, the sweet smell of marijuana instantly permeating throughout the entire room. He passed it to Nathan, who handed him the bottle of rum in exchange.
Nathan lit up the bowl, colors instantly swimming into his vision. He held the smoke in until he could no longer, and let it all out. He coughed and coughed, having to shove the pipe into Pickles' hand before he proceeded to vomit all over the floor. Pickles immediately set the bottle on the floor and shoved the pipe back in his pocket and held the singer's hair back as he emptied an entire day's worth of food and beer on the ground.
After recovering, Nathan sat back with wide eyes. They sat there for at least an hour and a half, just staring at the floor, allowing themselves to sober up. Nathan finally spoke, "Dude, what the fuck is that shit?" He asked, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. Pickles smirked. "Sooper Lemon Haze. 'Dis shit fuuucks you up. And guess what?"
"What?"
Pickles once again reached into his pants and pulled out a Ziploc sandwich bag filled to the top with weed. "I gaht more!" Nathan suddenly smirked. "Fuck yeah, let's smoke that shit!" Pickles smirked back. "Now dats the spirit!"
They smoked about half of the bag before they both had to call it quits. "Any more and I'll pass out, dood," Pickles said, trying to stick the bag in his pocket. "Yeah, me too," Nathan agreed, watching with increasing amusement. Pickles finally stuck the bag in his pocket. "Heh, took me lahng enough."
"Hey, Pickles," Nathan said, putting an arm around Pickles' shoulders. "What, dood?" Pickles said, reaching behind and doing the same. "Thanks for… uh…. holding my…uh… h…hair? Yeah, hair! Uh, thanks for holding my hair back when I was barfin', man."
Pickles patted Nathan's shoulder. "No prahblem, dood. What're friends for?" Nathan smiled and Pickles smiled back. They sat there for minutes upon minutes, when Pickles began to crack up, "I'm so effin' high!" Nathan laughed along with him, neither of them noticing that their arms were still around each other's shoulders. "Dood, what time is it?" Pickles asked, wiping a tear from his eye with his free hand.
"Uh… I don't know." Pickles grinned. "Hey Nat'an, guess what?"
"What?"
"We still have to finish dat bottle of rum," he said, bending down and picking it up.
Nathan blinked rapidly, shaking his head. I was NOT just starin' at his ass…
Pickles lay back on the bed and took a gulp. He licked his lips and offered the bottle to Nathan.
Nathan seemed to be in a trance. He couldn't help but notice the way Pickles was laying, totally relaxed, and it seemed so delicate and soft, yet extremely provocative and sexy. And the way he licked his lips, tongue darting out tantalizingly, wetting his lips and giving them a dangerously sexy pout. His flushed skin, his half-lidded eyes…
Pickles just looked so god-damned sexy… And he always wondered what it was like being with another man. Would it be just like being with a woman? Might as well be, Pickles was so lithe and delicate, yet he held a fire, a certain wild personality that made him enigmatic and alluring. Nathan couldn't believe it… He was actually looking at Pickles in a sexual way! What was he thinking? Nathan lay down beside Pickles and took the bottle.
Maybe some of this can help me get rid of… THOSE thoughts. Nathan took a big gulp. The room began to spin. "W… Whoa… That's enough for me, man. I'm gonna pass out." He handed the bottle to Pickles, who finished it off in three mouthfuls. Nathan watched him closely. I wonder what else he can do with that mouth… He thought, and immediately berated himself for it. What the fuck am I thinking? I'm not a homo!
Pickles glanced over at Nathan, who seemed to be in some sort of inner turmoil. How can I ever get 'im to notice me? Truth be told, Pickles has had a crush on the front man for quite a while. When he first found out, he spent hours and hours on end just sitting on his bed and wondering how it came about, and even why he found him attractive anyways. When he finally accepted the fact that, yes, he was 'bisexual' and, yes, he did have a school girl crush on the most popular man in the world. Pickles always thought that Nathan was out of reach, off the market. He was famous and extremely sexy; he could get any girl he wanted.
Why would he waste time on one of his band mates?
I have a chance… and I'm gunna take it, Pickles thought determinedly. He sat up and leaned over Nathan, who snapped out of his daze and looked at him confused. Pickles closed the distance between them, kissing Nathan with a passion he never thought he had. Nathan didn't respond, and that worried him, but his heart almost leapt out of his chest when he felt Nathan's tongue flick out and touch his lips. Pickles urged him on, and soon they were locked in a fiery kiss that not even God himself could break apart.
Pickles intertwined his fingers in Nathan's hair, while Nathan put both hands on Pickles' hips and moved him to sit on his lap. Pickles could feel the bulge forming in the singer's pants. I guess it's time ta show 'im what I can do.
Pickles broke the kiss apart, trying to urge Nathan to take off his shirt by tugging at the hem. Nathan sat up and removed his shirt at the speed of light, all too eager to get back to the kiss. "Let me show ya what I've been waiting ta do," Pickles said and licked his lips slowly. He began rolling his hips slowly down on Nathan's now proud erection. Nathan growled softly, staring at Pickles through lidded eyes. Pickles slowly picked up momentum and strength until he had Nathan growling loudly and bucking his hips. Pickles stopped and crawled down the singer's body to kneel in between his legs.
Pickles undid Nathan's pants and pulled the down and off of the front man's legs, where they were tossed behind him and forgotten. Pickles did the same with the black underwear. Pickles stared at the shaft with wide eyes. It was everything he hoped it would be; long and thick, poking out of curly, black pubic hair. Pickles scooted up and took the throbbing member gently in his hands. Nathan grumbled a low moan as Pickles' cool hands slowly and softly stroked his throbbing manhood.
Pickles looked up at Nathan and moved forward to lick the bead of pre cum that began trickling down the head of Nathan's member. He slowly dragged his tongue across the head, then took it into his mouth and began to lightly suck. Nathan dug his fingers into the bed sheets and moaned gutturally, bucking his hips. Pickles slowly took in inch by inch of the shaft, until it hit the back of his throat. He slowly bobbed his head up and down, increasing speed every time Nathan moaned and growled.
Pickles began massaging Nathan's balls with one hand, the other pumping the thick shaft. Pickles was surprised when Nathan suddenly leaned forward and grabbed him by the shoulders. Pickles looked up with wide eyes. Nathan flipped him over so that Pickles was on his back and Nathan loomed over him, staring at him through lust-lidded eyes. Nathan clumsily fiddled with Pickles pants until they finally came undone, then ripped them off, along with his underwear, and threw them to the floor. Pickles kicked off his shoes and Nathan brought their lips together once more.
Pickles complied readily, kissing the singer with a passion he didn't know he possessed. Tongue on tongue, teeth on teeth, lips to lips. Pickles was disappointed when Nathan broke the kiss. Nathan reached under his pillow and got a half empty bottle of lube. He began to apply it to his shaft when Pickles stopped him. "You gahtta prepare me first, stoopid." Pickles brought Nathan's hand to his mouth and put two fingers in his moist cavern. He slowly rolled his tongue around them, covering them with saliva. Nathan watched on, even more aroused than before. This is so god damned sexy.
Pickles finally removed Nathan's fingers from his mouth with a small 'pop'. He guided the fingers to his slightly puckered entrance. "Now it's yer turn." Nathan slowly inserted both fingers, not really knowing what he was doing, but hearing the redhead moan like that was all he needed as encouragement.
He continued moving his fingers in and out, getting faster and faster as the redhead moaned and writhed beneath him. When Nathan dubbed it time, he removed his fingers and placed his member at Pickles entrance. "This… uh… It's going to hurt. But it'll be better soon," Nathan said. Pickles nodded and braced himself. Nathan slowly pushed past the tight ring of muscles, moaning loudly as Pickles' tight heat enveloped him. Nathan looked down when he heard Pickles whimper.
Pickles' face was slightly contorted with pain, and his body was shaking. Nathan leaned down and kissed his forehead awkwardly, he never really was good at the whole 'comforting' thing. Pickles clutched Nathan's back. "I'm okay now. Move," Pickles said. Nathan nodded and slowly began pumping in and out of the small redhead. IT was uncomfortable at first, but Pickles soon learned that Nathan was a man of many talents.
Nathan had Pickles moaning and bucking his hips within the first minute. "F-Faster!" Pickles gasped, and the front man was all too eager to comply. His thrust his hips forward, hitting Pickles' prostate. Pickles cried out so loud, Nathan thought the whole Haus would wake. But, deciding he loved the sounds Pickles was making, he drove forward and into that spot every time, each time harder and faster than the last. Pickles dug his nails into Nathan's back, drawing blood and definitely leaving a few scars. "Harder!" Pickles yelped.
Nathan reached down and began stroking Pickles' shaft, leaving the redhead to scream and moan and beg. Nathan loved everything the redhead was doing, and it turned him on like no other.
"Nat'an! I-I'm gonna-!" Pickles couldn't get the rest out as he came. He screamed out, driving his hips forward and arching his back. Nathan followed suit, filling Pickles with his seed, throwing his head back and roaring in ecstasy. Nathan collapsed next to Pickles, trying to catch his breath. Pickles cuddled up to Nathan's side. The singer put an arm around the drummer and pulled him closer.
"Maybe we could… uh… do this again sometime," Nathan rumbled and looked down at Pickles. Pickles leaned up and kissed him sweetly. "Definitely."
Well? What did you think? Is this a good one shot or should I continue? Please review, I would love to hear from you all.