Hey all! This is the sequel for my Butch/FemaleLW story called Misjudged. I was just delving onto my archives on Dropbox when I found this story unfinished and abandoned. And since I've been replaying Fallout 3 for these couple of days, I thought why not give this one a whirl and post it on the internet.
Anyway, I must apologize if there are any errors or OOCs, I hope they are still tolerable. But if you like this story, do leave a kudos and a review, would ya? Thanks!
Being in the Vault's cafeteria at nine pm and all alone by one's self when there was a party going on in the atrium, was clearly something that Kaslee had already given a thought of from the very evening when all of the adolescents of Vault 101 were busy grooming themselves in front of their mirrors in their apartments, while her, she kept herself on the neutral ground by simply rereading Grognac the Barbarian for the hundred times in her bedroom with a box of Sugar Bombs by her side just to keep her tummy fed.
It was Wally Mack's birthday party that night, and since the Macks had borrowed Andy just to serve food there (which meant leaving the cafeteria unattended), Kaslee seized the opportunity to invaded the whole place for herself while everyone else was attending the party. Hell, even old lady Palmer had the decency to dropped by despite her old age, with Jonas was seen accompanying his dear grandmother to the party.
Ever since few weeks ago, Kaslee had heard how Wally's sister, Susie, spent quite an amount of time on decorating the atrium into a decent ballroom- under the Overseer's strict supervision, of course- just for the night, despite Wally's protests who kept saying that he'd prefer for the party to be themeless instead of looking like "a fucking dance club", despite that Susie kept promising that the place would look proper enough for the boys to linger around and dance. Or at least, that was what she had heard from Amata.
And it seemed the party was a modest success so far, for Kaslee couldn't spot one person leaving the party. And that was good though, it meant more solitary moment for her.
To be quite frank, Kaslee had once looked forward to attending the party ever since Wally first given the invitation to her via Amata. She and her best friend even already discussed what dress they would wear for these past few weeks until her mind was all agitated and distracted with her father's new found strange behavior that made her eyebrow raised every time he came home late from the clinic.
He was acting real peculiar one of these days: he always looked weary, there were bags under his eyes, and Kaslee also noticed how he ate less, and less everyday every time she dropped by to the clinic for lunch.
He talked less too, her father that used to converse with her about everything, who often shared about quaint or funny things that his patients did, now all they had was this stilted silence that could go on for the rest of lunch. Her father that always shot her warm smiles that made his eyes wrinkle, now it felt like forever since the last time she saw the corner of his mouth quirk up. She had asked Jonas about this matter, but even he couldn't come up with the answer.
What happened to him? Was it because of work? Though knowing him, especially knowing that he had been doing this his entire life, wouldn't this be something that he already accustomed to?
Suddenly, Kaslee could only come up with one poignant speculation: or was it because of something she did?
Oh, if she was the answer for his strange demeanor, she swore she could never forgive herself for whatever was it that made her father like this. No, she just couldn't bear it.
At that, Kaslee sighed heavily to the quiet air. Cold fingers brushing the even colder table as she found herself again in a state where she felt like everything was her fault. And Kaslee could feel her emerald eyes shimmered in tears just about now.
"Somehow I knew I'd find you here."
Suddenly, a male voice caught her attention as Kaslee quickly shot her head up, brows puckered in confusion as she was wondering who on earth could've invaded her solitude at times like these.
And that was when she could see him.
There stood Butch DeLoria as she found him leaning himself on the solid door frame with a smirk that was too damn familiar to her. He was wearing a suit that it looked like he borrowed it from someone who had a size larger than he was though somehow he still looked dashing in it nonetheless.
His brown oxford shoes looked like as if someone had poured their heart and soul on polishing them off, for it gleamed even under the dim lights. His dark hair, as always, was swept upwards from his face in a pompadour style that made his whole look somewhat natty, but still holding his usual greaser look as usual.
In other words, even Kaslee couldn't help but admit that Butch's appearance certainly caught her eyes. Especially since it was a rare occasion for her to see him looking all dandy like that, instead of seeing him in his black leather jacket that he always dressed up in every day.
It had been a few months since the two called out the truce for their ridiculous squabble that had had went on ever since they were ten. The Butch that she grew up hating on, the person that made her miserable life went worse, all of a sudden, she found herself burying herself in his arms; crying. Confiding what had been troubling her mind for years as if he was her confidant; as if he was never the reason why the burdens on her shoulders kept on piling.
And then he looked at her in a way that he never looked at her before. This tender side of him that he was showing her, as Kaslee could detect the genuine guilt that he emitted from his slanted eyes when his lips worked on an apology. Both of his callous palms rested on her cheeks, his warm breath fanning the surface of her flushed cheeks while their foreheads met. And then the next thing she knew, she could see he moved his head closer to her.
Well, though whatever was about to happen to them never happened- all thanks to her dad's account- but one thing for sure did: he's changed. And Kaslee was more than grateful knowing that the boy who used to pull thorns from her side, became someone that she could even consider as a friend.
Well, a friend who kept on 'shooting innuendos towards each other' and 'who stole glances when no one was looking' type of friend. Not that she was complaining, though it was funny how their relationship shifted from tugging each other's hair out to this. It's almost sentimental in her own opinion.
"Butch?" Kaslee asked quizzically as her attention went solely to him, for it never occurred to her that someone would find her here in the cafeteria. "What are you doing here?"
"I'm looking for you," he answered blatantly, something that Kaslee still needed to adjust, for the idea of him speaking his mind off to her like this was still new to her. Though somehow, she didn't want him to stop.
"Looking for me? How do you even know I'm not at the party?"
The greaser shrugged, the smirk on his face still lingered on. "Well, it's not that hard to see that the only redhead in the entire Vault isn't attending the party, is it?"
"Right," Kaslee replied in acknowledgment. Well, the perks of having hair as red as a rosewood, I suppose.
Kaslee could see he started to make his way towards the booth she sat on with one empty hand shoved inside of his pocket, since it was impossible for his other hand to do so when there was a big ass device strapped to his wrist.
"The question is, Montgomery, is that what are you doing here?" Butch returned to ask as he took a seat across her on the booth without waiting to be invited. "Didn't Wally invite you to his party?"
"He did," she confirmed his question first before letting out a sigh. "Though I'm not going because… I'm not feeling on congregating and conversing with people one of these days."
"Okay, first of all; Jesus, Kas, you're nineteen for fuck's sake. Stop using those big words, you aren't talking to Shakespare."
Kas smiled comically at his remark as she leaned towards the table. "It's Shakespeare , just to let you know," she corrected.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever that fella name was," his hand gesticulated childishly before he set his attention back to her again. "And second: seriously, what is it with you this time?"
Kaslee crossed her arms over her chest at his accusation, though a faint smile crept on her heart-shaped face as she said, "You said it as if I'm prone to behave this certain way, DeLoria."
"You are prone to behave specifically this way, Montgomery," Butch sneered in a teasing manner. "And besides, it seems your pal, Amata, is looking for you."
At the mention of her best friend's name, Kaslee once again let out a long exhale as she averted her gaze to the red and white tiled floor with her mouth hung open.
Great, she had forgotten about her best friend, fun-fucking-tastic. Kaslee only hoped that an apology would suffice- that, if Amata would even want to talk to her in the morning.
"Oh shit," Kaslee cursed as she dropped her head to the table. The action resulting for the table to made a small thump sound, though in a quiet room like this, it felt like it resonated to the whole room. "Shit. Fuck, I forgot to tell her I wasn't coming."
Of course, the Tunnel Snake leader merely snorted upon seeing her all in distress like this. "Huh, some friend you are, aren't ya? I bet she won't talk to you in the morning."
"Ugh, not helping, Butch," Kaslee scoffed with face still glued to the table. Perfect, this only added more problems that had already stirring inside of her tiny head.
All of a sudden, Kaslee could feel as if someone toying with her red hair. The action causing for her to rose her head up where she could see Butch skimming his hands that smelled of smoke and pomade down from her hair to take her cheeks in his palms.
His fingertips pushing a few strands of her hair from her face almost too tenderly. His lips set into a thin line, a change of expression from the previous smug look on his face, while his deep sea eyes tracing the outlook of the somber gaze that clouded her features.
From the look of his face, it seemed he knew that there was clearly something that was troubling her mind, for he stopped quipping and instead he took a dip into the pool of gloominess with her. Something that she knew he did not have to partake though he did.
"Kas," Butch began, his tone indicating that he was serious. "What's goin' on?"
Crestfallen, Kaslee sighed heavily before gently pulled herself away from Butch, receiving no protest from him as he only kept his stare locked on hers without uttering a word. He patiently waited for Kaslee to began articulating her emotions, while the redhead could only wring her hands in agitation, and her foot kept tapping on the cold floor nervously.
She didn't know why, but there went that feeling again; the feeling as if she could cough up everything to him. She knew well they weren't even that close, that their friendship was merely the size of an acorn, but somehow, she felt like she could trust him.
Finally, she drew in a long breath as she had come to a conclusion.
"It's my dad," Kaslee finally confessed. "I- I don't know, but I feel being neglected and cast out by him lately."
Butch looked askance upon hearing her remark. "What do you mean?" he asked.
She gave her interlocutor a quick shrug. "I don't know, but I feel like… I feel like he's changing, you know? Like literally changing, like I feel like he's not his usual self for these past weeks- call me observant, but this my dad. I can feel there is something amiss about him," Kaslee continued, her eyes were already glossy even before she could finish her words.
And Butch was all silence, he kept his expression neutral which Kaslee took it as a cue for her to continue.
"He hardly spoke to me anymore, he always came home late without bothering to greet me, or even ask me how was my day, or have I ate something. He often locked himself in his room whenever he's at home, it's all… it's not like the dad that I knew at all. It feels strange." And then her chest rose and fell with heavy breaths at what she about to asked next.
"Butch, did I do something wrong?" Her words were filled with apparent pain- almost like a whisper though Butch merely furrowed his brows at that.
"Kas, the hell are you talking about?" Butch snapped at her. "This is James Montgomery that we are talking about, not Ellen DeLoria. He'll love you for everything you do. And no, you didn't do anything wrong."
But still, Kaslee wasn't convinced with his remark. She was still fighting back the tears that started to overflow from her rheumy eyes, she had to cover them with both of her slender hands in prevention from him to see her all teared up. Though eventually, Kaslee lost the fight.
And it happened again: tears ran down to her cheeks, lips quavered in distress, her own breaths smothered her onto which point breathing became a difficult task for her to carry. And all that Butch could do was stare quiescently as the low hum of the steel wall and the faint music playing in the background were the only things that managed to reach her ears beside the sound of her breath hitching. But aside from those, it was obvious that silence managed to sweep the entire room into a void.
Then after what it felt like an eternity, Kaslee finally retracted her palms away from her face when she could feel her tears starting to recede. She then rested her head back to the cushion in an attempt to recollect her senses as the world began welcoming her back to this one big moving picture though her visions were still lacking.
It wasn't the first time she had cried regarding this matter for the past week. A few days ago, Jonas almost caught her off guard when he inquired about her bleary eyes when she dropped by to the clinic to deliver her father's lunch for she wasn't feeling like having one with him that day.
Though she managed to elude some of his questions, but her hunch told her that Jonas might've known what had been troubling her more than he was letting on.
"Sorry," she apologized as she used the back of her hand to wipe away the remnants of the salt water from her eyes. "I didn't mean to put on a show like that."
"It's okay. It's obvious that you need that," Butch replied sincerely, as judging from his tone. And it was funny how his words alone was enough to unravel the tangling mess inside of her head.
Then as if that wasn't enough to make her heart flutter, suddenly, Kaslee could see Butch once again reaching his hands across the table to held hers, and his hands were incredibly warm compared to hers.
Though his eyes were even warmer.
"Kas, do you remember when we was kids, that time when you just turned ten and you went to school the next day bragging about how your dad got you a fucking BB gun to the whole class?" The greaser suddenly asked.
"The one that got me bullied by you for the whole week? I do, yeah. Why?"
"And you had to put it that way," Butch muttered which earned him a small chuckle from her. "Yeah, well, you did know that it's prohibited for kids under sixteen to own that kinda gun, didn't ya?"
"Well, not until I turned fourteen, no," Kaslee chewed her lip as if she was in deep thinking. "What are you trying to imply?"
"What I'm implying is that, can't you see that he is the only father in the whole vault who cares enough for you, that he actually broke that regulation with a chance of his clinic being shut down by the Overseer?" Butch's words only made her ponder as she could feel his thumb dumbfoundedly brushing on hers.
"I've never realized that…" It was true that she had never given a thought of that before, and his question somehow struck him to a new kind of realization.
"Then take this into consideration because your dad, maybe he is under heavy pressure from work, or maybe he's just having a shitty weekend, but that doesn't mean that he's changing, Kas. That doesn't mean he's stop loving you. Because if there is one thing I'm sure of from that man, is that I know that not just he is the only one I could trust for treating my bladder problem, but I know is that you mean the whole world to him," he convinced, his tone surprisingly encouraging while his hands never leaving hers.
That was the first time Butch ever gave her such an advice. Though she started to feel like maybe she indeed had told the right person regarding this matter, especially when he said,
"So wipe those tears off of your pretty face, girl. Your father ain't goin' nowhere."
Kaslee could feel her tears began to stampeding every corner of her eyes though this time, she managed to sniffle the tears back with a silent nod as his words starting to make their way inside of her head. And she chose to take believe in them for she knew that he was right: that there was no way in this world that her father would abandon her in any way.
She seemed more relax by then; a faint smile appeared on her face as she tightened the grip on his hands in a firm squeeze in some form of silent gratitude.
Her action seemed to catch him by surprise as she could see his eyes blinked in astonishment, though it seemed he finally understood what she was trying to tell him.
"Thank you, Butch," Kaslee muttered her heartfelt thanks to him. "Seriously, are you sure that Brotch did not mix your G.O.A.T. with someone else's?"
He grinned as he pulled his hands away from her. That smug look that she knew too well resurfaced to his face as he said, "What? You think just because I'm a barber that means I don't have few tricks off of my sleeve?"
"I thought the only trick you have is to keep one's hair from going bald," Kaslee said while making a funny face. She was feeling all better by then, she didn't even realize that she was teasing him.
He laughed in mirth at her remark. "You keep talking like that, and I might start callin' you nosebleed again, Montgomery."
Instead of answering him, Kaslee threw her head back and laughed for the first time that evening. Then suddenly, she could the tension within the room ascended.
The tyranny of an empty room had broken into this moonlight joy that she never thought would ever come to her though there she was, all smiling and laughing her troubles away for the first time in weeks. And who would've thought it all could happen because of him.
And then there was that look on his face again. The same look that he held on that night that brought the two of them to this point where she didn't only feel safe with him, but she felt she could find solace in him too.
He was her bully for god's sake and look at them now, it almost felt like all the dispute between them never happened.
She was just enjoying this sentimental moment between them when Butch suddenly dropped her gaze, much to her dismay. But when she could see he rose to his feet from the booth, her heart wailed.
Well, maybe he decided to head to back to the party? Despite having him near was something that she yearned for, but who was she to stop him from doing so? At that, she huffed in silence.
Kaslee somehow waited for him to bid her goodbye, turn his back on her, and leave for the door. But when she could see him extended his hand to hers instead, her brows drew together in confusion.
But nothing even more made her eyes shot wide open, her whole body froze in her seat, when she heard him ask,
"Wanna dance your trouble away with me?" Butch asked casually as if he was offering her a box chocolate.
"What?" Was all Kaslee could come up with an answer to his foreign request. She thought she had fallen asleep and this was just merely a dream as she blinked her eyes for a few seconds to test if she was indeed dreaming. But blink as she might, eventually, she declared to herself that this was real. Yes, he was asking her to dance with him.
"A dance, Kas? Like dancing?" Butch proceeded to ask again since all she got from her was this look on her face as if she was electrocuted by a goddamn Tesla coil without giving further confirmation to his question. "Hello? Earth to Kaslee Montgomery?" he waved a hand to her face when she still wasn't answering.
Kaslee raised her hand to bat his hand away. "I hear you, I hear you. It's just…" Kaslee hesitated, her hands rubbing together. "The last time I recall my dancing, I think I was bad at it."
And it was true.
She remembered how it went a few years back when she was just fifteen, she was dancing with Freddie Gomez at this party that the Vault held as the whole night their dance was filled with Freddie groaning from pain, for she kept on stepping on his shoes with each step they took. The next morning, he went to school with a walking stick in hand.
"You are the worst, Kas, I know. But I promise you'll do better this time."
Kaslee tilted her head to the side in wonder. "How?" she asked.
Once again gave his hand to her. He was smiling to her that was so hard for her to turn his offer down as he said, "'cause I will lead you."
But she kept remain still, thinking. Unbeknownst to him that his offer had made her mind lost its sense of direction like some misguided child who got lost in the wasteland.
A dance. With him. The idea of doing that with him was so modest, yet why did it sound complicated in her head? But at the same time, a small portion of her head encouraged to do it.
She didn't know what happened to her at that time. It almost felt like she had fallen into a swoon, and her mind and body was being controlled remotely by someone else, for instead of saying that she wasn't sure about the idea, she found herself got up from the chair and gave her hand to him.
Butch's smile grew even wider by the time he grasped at her cool hand tightly in his own, and then he gently pulled her to the center of the room where they could have more space for the two of them to use.
Upon reaching the center, Butch set his attention to his Pip-Boy as his fingers began working on the screen when suddenly, a music could be heard blaring from the device, and upon hearing the song, Kaslee widen her eyes on his selection of song.
"Ella?" she asked as her ears caught to the first verse of the song that sounded like Never thought I'd fall, but now I hear love call.
I'm getting sentimental over you.
Butch flashed her his widest set of smirk. It seemed it was his intention after all to impress her with this. "You can never go wrong with her, can't ya?"
"Yeah, I agree," she concurred with a giggle in response.
And then that was it. For the next minutes felt just like a dream to her as the soft flow of music filled the entire room in a most romantic way, with Butch fixated his blue eyes once again on hers.
He took a small step towards her where his hand found its way back to her again. He held it firmly, while the other on her back as he pulled her closer until she could feel her chest was merely inches away from his. Where the smell of smoke, pomade, and his aftershave started to invade her nostrils, where every whiff reminded her of the first time she held him close a few months back.
His eyes locked tight on hers; tender and profound, while the smug smirk still framing his face as their feet began moving slowly in the overture. And so they began their first dance.
Their movements matched the rhythm of the song as they circled each other in a perfect sync. And just as he had promised, Butch guided her steps carefully and gently for every movement and angle felt natural to her, it didn't feel like it was forced, or awkward, or anything. It just felt right.
Heck, at this point everything felt right; his touches felt right, the music felt right, the atmosphere felt right, even the cafeteria, the place that she wasn't sure could be considered as a proper place for slow dancing, felt right. She could feel her mouth crack him a sly smile at this as she said,
"It never occurred to me that you dance."
Of course, Butch chuckled at her remark. His feet still moving in a perfect order even without him bothering to look down to the ground when he answered, "You're right, I don't. But this song is an exception." Then suddenly, she could see his face turned solemn, almost akin to a frown in her opinion before he said again, "I guess this song kinda reminds me of my ma when she was still sober enough to raise me."
His sudden remark bewildered her. Kaslee couldn't help to ponder as she tilted her head to the side. Though her movement never falters, it almost felt like her feet slowing down.
"How so?" she asked in a quiet voice.
Butch took a deep breath. "I think this is the first song I've ever heard in my life. I couldn't be more than two or three when I heard it. I was in the living room, I remember I think ma just fed me when I could hear her blasting this song out from the player. And then I saw her danced." Butch went silent as his gaze dropped from hers. A wistful smile appeared on his face.
Though Kaslee had known about his dysfunctional relationship he had with his mother from that night, but this was the first time ever for Butch to convey about his mother in such manner, it brought nothing but agitation to her heart. But most importantly, it rose a question within her as she couldn't help but wonder why he had gone melancholic like this with her.
"Butch," she called out his name softly. "Why are you telling me this?"
"I don't know. With you, I just feel like I could," Butch admitted with no hesitation. "I feel like I could tell you anything and receive no judgment from you."
"I feel the same way about you too." By the time she said that, their faces have grown closer to the point where Kaslee could feel his warm breath on her face; his chest pressed against hers as she could feel their hearts beat in unison.
He leaned down to her and their foreheads met, which Kaslee instantly closed her eyes at the contact for she knew what was about to happen next.
Something that almost happened between them if it wasn't because of her father- not that she blamed him for it- finally happened, as Kaslee could feel Butch moved his head towards her to catch her lips in his. And she could hear her breath hitched when Butch claimed her lips for the first time.
The whole room froze; the song merely became a faint murmur in her ears upon their lips came in contact. His hand went to the back of her head, pushing her closer to him, while her arms snaking around his shoulders as their dance paused just so that they could savor this moment as their lips met for the faintest time. And by the time he withdrew himself away from her, somehow the sensation still lingered on, it made her craving for more of it.
They stared at each other for a brief seconds after that. Short breaths and pulse raced as Kaslee held his gaze to hers in silence with eyes twinkled. Both were still thunderstruck by this new narration to their story, and she knew that things would different from now on after this.
"That is a bit overdue, don't you think?" Kaslee teased with cheeks flushed, her arms still nesting on his shoulders.
"Overdue?" At her question, he simpered as he teased back. "So you've been thinking about that night when we almost kissed, eh?"
"What? You're telling me you haven't given that night a thought?" she countered innocently.
But instead of jesting and teasing like he always did, Butch merely pulled her closer to his embrace. "I couldn't get it outta my head, girl."
Kaslee tittered before once again, she could feel as Butch began moving his feet again to resume their forgotten steps with lips locked together.
It was just him and her then. And in that moment, Kaslee felt more than grateful that she said yes to his offer for this dance, for she knew that this would be something that she wouldn't forget on a long-run.
But then the world that she knew had turned upside down the moment her father escaped from the place that she had always called home most of her life.
And even at her darkest times when she sat by the fire in her own solitude under the night skies of what's left of Washington D.C., where she could make out every slanted branch from every dead tree around her camping site; wild and dried plants that grew on each side of the cracked asphalt road, alongside of all the vestiges from before the nuclear war that could be seen vividly, the lone wanderer would think of him, and look back to that exact moment and smile sadly to the moon that lit above. For the dance she had with Butch was everything that she could ask for.
And the only thing that still saddened her was the fact that that dance turned out to be her first and last dance with him. The dance that once was her saving grace, had become a permanent wound that stitched right to her heart; a poignant memory that kept on lingering in her head that often led her to cry in her sleep at some nights without anyone knowing.
But then maybe 'the last dance' was called last for a reason. And if only Kaslee could speak her mind aloud, if only god knew that her only wish was that they were given enough time to be with each other so that she could touch him again, so that she could laugh with him again over his stupid jokes, so that she could rest her head on his chest and feel his heartbeat against hers again, so that 'the last dance' she had with him wouldn't have to be their last one.
But most importantly, so that they didn't have to say goodbye.