I'm sorry InuYasha. I can't keep this up anymore. I hope you have a great life with Kikyou. And congratulations with Maiko. She's beautiful. I can't believe how amazing she is. Maiko will have all the boys chasing after her in a few years.
Don't bother trying to look for me, though I know you won't listen for the first day. By the time you get this letter I'll be far gone, to a place where I don't have to think about you and what you've done and what we've done.
Just know that I love you. I honestly, truly love you and now it's time for you to share that same intensity for Kikyou as I have towards you.
Love you now and forever, Kagome
InuYasha smiled when he saw his daughter run out of her new preschool the first day. He crouched down and hugged her before bringing her up into the air and screaming with laughter. He loved his little girl dearly.
"Chichi!" she squealed. "Come meet my teacher. She says she knows Sesshomaru and his new wife."
InuYasha laughed and brought his daughter down, tucking her towards him like a football from his days at the American School in Japan when he was the quarterback. "Of course, Maiko. Anything for you."
Sesshomaru was InuYasha's much older half-brother. They got along well enough, though the last time they had seen each other Sesshomaru was thinking of getting married for the second time. So far Maiko had only met Sesshomaru's daughter, neither of the wives. It'd be good for her to meet her aunt.
When InuYasha walked in, it was like going back in time. The teacher was on the phone, but InuYasha would know her anywhere. She and Sesshomaru had once been engaged, but something happened.
"Rin Tougu?" InuYasha asked, shocked.
She looked up. "Yasha?" She smiled and came to hug him. "It's so good to see you again. It's been so long. How are you? Maiko's beautiful, by the way. Who's the mother?"
He laughed derisively. "You're the first person that didn't assume it was Kagome. Six or seven years ago I married Kikyou Tanaka."
Rin's jaw dropped open. "Wasn't she…" She looked at Maiko and whispered to InuYasha as not to disturb her. "Dying of AIDS?"
InuYasha shook his head. "Why does everyone assume that too? Her sister was the one that died. Kikyou's healthy as far as I know. She was the last time we were together," he said, hiding behind a mask so Rin wouldn't see how guilty he felt.
The last time he had been with Kikyou was when they conceived Maiko. In fact, it was the first time they were together, too.
He found she was not as appealing in bed as he had assumed, and returned to his relationship with Kagome from when they were in high school. He used her until the day Maiko was born, and then he couldn't get her in private for a month.
After a month had gone by, they were together twice before Spring Break of Kagome's senior year. She always had excuses after Spring Break, like studying for finals when he knew she had been hoping to fail so she wouldn't need to go on with school.
Her parents had forced her to go, saying that becoming a doctor was the best thing for her future. Back in high school, InuYasha would laugh and argue, saying he was really the best thing for her future. She had agreed and they had been lovers from junior to senior year.
Then he met Kikyou that summer and forgotten all about Kagome until he was married. It had been two years, but Kagome had become his lover again, a little resigned and a little dispassionate. Still, she was his and he would never have it any other way.
When Kikyou announced she was pregnant, InuYasha didn't celebrate with Kikyou. He took Kagome out and went to bed with her. Kagome didn't enjoy any of it and he got very frustrated when she would try to keep him from having her while Kikyou was pregnant.
The day after finals, he had gotten the letter from Kagome and he couldn't bear to touch anyone at all again. Not the way he had once touched Kagome. He couldn't love anyone they way he loved her. All he could do was stay stuck in time and kick himself for being dumb enough to lose her for all of eternity.
Rin shrugged it off. "Well, it's great to see you. I can't believe you moved back to Tokyo after…nine, ten years? How was school abroad?"
He gave a "keh" and a shrug, noncommittally. It was fun until he realized Kagome was gone. Then it was a living hell. He couldn't even stand to be in Australia anymore. He flew to Kikyou's hometown of Kyoto where they lived happily until three months ago and InuYasha's father was sent to ICU.
"Well, I'm having a party at my house next weekend. I'd love for you guys to come and reconnect with everyone. Sesshomaru will be there with his family. I don't know how long it's been since Maiko's seen Sakura, but I haven't seen Maiko since she was three so it must have been as long since she's seen Sakura. Or even better, you can come tomorrow and it'll just be you guys, Sessho and his family and me."
InuYasha smiled fondly as Rin went on talking about the last time she saw Maiko and how Sakura was doing. InuYasha missed Rin all these years. She could talk so much no one else in the room needed a voice, but all their thoughts still got voiced.
"Maiko!" Sakura screamed, opening the door. "Maiko! Hi! Where have you been? We have magic candy from America and coloring books! You have to see my new brother. He's with my Obaachan right now. Chichi said we adopted him. Shippo's eight."
The girls smiled at each other and rushed through the house while Rin came to greet InuYasha and Kikyou.
"Hi. You must be Kikyou. It's so good to meet you. I'm Rin Tougu, one of InuYasha's friends from childhood. Come on in. InuYasha, Sesshomaru's in the living room with his wife. It's the open space down the right hall and up the stairs. I have to go check on the kids for a moment. Excuse me."
Kikyou looked at Rin's retreating form in disdain. "She's…quite a character. She seems very lively. Very childish."
InuYasha laughed as they walked down the hall. "I loved that about Rin. She's crazy and proud of it. No wonder she works with preschoolers. They really connect with…her."
Sesshomaru and his wife looked up at the sound of InuYasha's arrival and she gasped. He was here? She thought he moved across the country. She never would have come and risked their reunion if she knew he was back in Tokyo.
She wasn't cruel, like he had been. She respected that he was married and took the initiative to back away once it hit home how much his child would suffer if he had an affair with her. Especially when she was gone.
"Kagome?" he asked, shocked.
She merely stood up, gaping. "I-InuYasha…hi," she said, smiling tentatively, nervously. "I didn't know you were back in town." She stiffened at the sight of Kikyou and the smile slipped from her face. "Kikyou."
She made a face at Kagome and InuYasha looked at her. She didn't seem to age a day since the day he got her letter, the day he thought she was dead and gone forever. She still looked like a recent college-grad with a style that outshone any celebrity InuYasha knew.
She had a bright yellow cable-knit sweater with a fitted black denim vest over the top, and neither reached her navel, exposing a diamond pierced between her rock-hard abs. She wore low-rise, tight, black jeans with an assortment of chains and silks.
Rin walked in and froze when she saw the scene. "So, you met Sesshomaru's new wife, huh?" she replied, trying to lighten the mood.
"Yeah, back from the dead," he replied tersely.
"Dead?" Kagome asked, shocked. "Excuse me?" Suddenly she heard children screaming and Kagome sighed, turning back to Sesshomaru, scrunching her nose. "It's Sakura again. Should I try and comfort her?"
"That'd be very entertaining, thank you," he replied as he smiled and laughed. "I think she's fine right now, Kago. Don't worry about it."
She rolled her eyes and Sakura came running in with Maiko. She pushed her stepmother o get past her and went straight to Sesshomaru. "Chichi, there's someone on TV that looks like Kagome," she said. "Maiko says it is her and Kagome's a huge star. Tell Maiko she's wrong. Kagome's not a star."
InuYasha had never seen anything like it. Sakura hated Kagome for real? But Sesshomaru really seemed to love her. "Hello, Sakura," InuYasha greeted.
"Uncle Inu!" she squealed, hugging him and making him pick her up. "Uncle Inu, tell Kagome she needs to leave now. She doesn't belong here. I was just fine without her and Chichi says she's my new mom, but she can't be. She's ugly and mean. Stepmoms are pretty and nice. Except Cinderellas, but I'm already a princess so I can't have a mean and ugly stepmother."
Kagome stood bored and exasperated as InuYasha thought over Sakura's words. Mean, maybe. Ugly? Never. Even after all these years she made his breath stop.
"Sorry, Sak. Kagome's your stepmother," InuYasha replied, almost spitting venom at the words. If she were going to be anyone's stepmother, she was supposed to be Maiko's. "And most princesses had mean and ugly stepmothers. How about Snow White?"
It had been all set with InuYasha. He was going to go and tell Kagome he was divorcing Kikyou the day he got her letter. She was supposed to be happy and do whatever he wanted of her for the day.
Instead he came home to his wife and kid mad and depressed.
"Sakura, I told you Kagome was a singer," Sesshomaru said, lifting her and putting her on his knee. "That's why we lived in America for a while."
InuYasha whipped around to see Kagome's sad face and nod. That's where she was? He should have figured. Her mom was an American and Australian citizen while her dad was Japanese and Australian with duel citizenship between America and Japan.
If he couldn't find her in either Japan or Australia, he should have looked in the only other country she could legally live in.
Why was she so sad?
The night went on and Kagome entertained everyone after dinner by singing a few songs before Kagome practically hacked up a lung. Sesshomaru couldn't have been any prouder and it made InuYasha see red.
Kagome really was an amazing singer, something she had never told InuYasha. He looked to Rin and only saw the girl's sadness and sympathy towards Kagome. There was no hate towards Sesshomaru, her ex-fiancé, for bringing his new wife to her house. InuYasha didn't know if he could do that.
"Rin?" Sesshomaru said. "We're going to call it a night. Kags is getting sick and Sak is tired. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" he told her, giving her a kiss.
It was not a nice kiss. It was a passionate kiss. InuYasha turned to Kagome to see her reaction to her husband making out with his mistress right in front of her. She was pale with bags under her eyes that looked like bruises. She looked tired, but she didn't look mad or betrayed. If anything she was a little disoriented.
"I'll walk you guys to the door," Rin replied, helping Sesshomaru with Kagome as he picked up his daughter and they walked towards the front door.
Faintly, he could hear Rin and Sesshomaru talking. "How is she?"
He heard Sesshomaru sigh heavily. "Not doing good. The doctor's giving her half a month now," he said. "Sak still doesn't know that means. What any of it means. What all the doctor's visits mean."
"That's horrible. It destroyed her entire life and it's all a doctor's fault from the start," Rin said, angry. "He oughta be shot, telling her she couldn't be sick because she was a kid and they can't get it."
There was more to the conversation, but Rin and Sesshomaru walked away. But he heard all he needed to know. Sakura was dying.
A minute or two later, Rin returned with a frustrated noise somewhere between a growl and a groan. Kikyou had to push her and ask what was wrong.
"I hate Hoshiba-sensei," she growled, glaring at a Barbie on the ground. "He's an evil and disgusting man. He killed her."
Suddenly InuYasha exploded. "Why didn't anyone tell me Sakura was dying? I have the right to know about my niece. She's one of my favorite people on Earth. I have money! I could've paid for anything that saved her."
Rin looked at InuYasha like she was confused. "What are you talking about? Sak's not even sick," she told him. "Sakura's as strong as her mom, as big a bitch as Kagura is. She was immune to everything. Even Kagome. She's been so sweet and charming, Sakura still hates her."
Kikyou was still out of the loop. "What are you talking about? What's going on?" she asked, looking between Rin and InuYasha.
Maiko ran in, tears down her eyes. "Chichi, Haha, come quick!"
InuYasha bolted after his daughter, afraid of what she wanted to show them. Instead he found it to be a documentary on Kagome Higurashi's life. InuYasha stared at the frozen picture of Kagome from one of her albums.
She was lying on a leather couch with her legs over the top and her hair reaching the ground. She was in a bright blue prom dress and high heels. Her hair was done up nicely just to be mussed on the ground, and she wore a corsage that matched with the garnet and tiger's-eye flowers in her hair and on her necklace. And there was fake blood everywhere, a fake bullet shot through her heart.
A pang hit InuYasha when he recognized the jewelry. It was a set he gave her for Valentine's Day in their senior year of high school. He had felt bad that he refused to make it public they were together, so he bought her expensive jewelry to make up for it.
Maiko un-paused the TV and InuYasha barely had time to read the album name. My Dead Valentine. Fitting, as their love had died. It came to a reporter that smiled and spoke like she was talking about her daughter.
"Kagome's career took a steep dive from there. She had just become a star in America when she felt a bump in her breast. By the age of eighteen, Kagome Higurashi had breast cancer and no one would believe her. Not even four years later, while in college down in Australia, she went to another doctor and was told she was terminal for another form of cancer she had to have had for years without realizing. Kagome had cervical cancer and would only live a few more years.
"It was a shock to see, not even three months after the announcement of her fatal cancer, she released another announcement saying she was in remission for breast cancer, though it had been in her system so long that the cancer was spread. Her singing career was quickly ending as she was found with cancer in her throat and lungs."
There was a video clip of Kagome, probably only twenty or twenty-two, not looking so healthy. But to InuYasha, she still dazzled. "I'm just taking everything one step at a time right now. A lot has changed for me. I can't have a family anymore and that's something I really wanted. I can't tell my friends either, because I don't want them to get hurt. I'm stuck right now."
It then flashed to a picture of Kagome as a child with her family in America. InuYasha didn't understand why, but Sesshomaru was there in the picture. Kagome was dressed up nice and pretty in a dress that looked made for a princess. Sesshomaru looked aristocratic and debonair, wearing a sharp suit with a gray silk tie.
"Kagome's family, Arika Higurashi, a woman of Japanese and Australian descent, and Kotetsu Higurashi, a duel citizen of Japan and America, found out when Kagome was twenty-three, two years after graduating. Kotetsu had remarried when Kagome was nine and his stepson, Sesshomaru Takahasi, had found out first his stepsister was dying."
It went to a picture of Sesshomaru and Kagome, smiling tentatively as they sat for an interview. Then it went to a clip of when they announced they were getting married.
"It's not about whether or not we love each other," Sesshomaru said. "Because I do love Kagome, but just as a sister. It's about giving her a family and easing her through to the end. She used to date my half-brother in high school and she saw him go off and get married. Even christened his daughter. She needs some sense of family now for herself and we both agreed this would be good for her. Neither of us are looking at it as a marriage, but as a legal agreement to look after her."
Kagome smiled, though InuYasha could see how sick she really was. "I won't ever be able to have my own family. Sessho has been kind enough to let me spend the time left in my life pretending that I have one. We haven't been seeing each other a lot, so his daughter doesn't know I'm her aunt. In a way it's good, but at the same time she hates me, so we'll see how that turns out."
"It has been made clear Kagome and Sesshomaru do not share a physical relationship and that Kagome is unconcerned that Sesshomaru is seeing his ex-fiancée Rin, who Kagome sees as an older sister."
There was more to the interview, but InuYasha was too numb to hear it or see it. So that was why she left him alone to think she was dead. She didn't want to hurt him, she was going to die soon and she didn't mind speeding up the process to break his heart.
He had to give Sesshoaru credit. InuYasha knew that when their father died, Kagami Takahashi had remarried. He just never knew he married Kagome's dad. Or that they had fabricated their whole marriage just so Kagome could have a family.
He couldn't believe his luck, and just as he was thinking, Maiko tugged on his pant leg. He looked at her and picked her up. "Kagome's my fairy godmother, right?" she asked him quietly.
Too many Disney movies, InuYasha decided, but she got the concept. "Yeah, she is. She was my best friend when we were kids. When we were growing up."
It was hard to talk about Kagome now. It had been for the past four years while he thought she was dead and found her to be just as well.
"Then why can't she do magic and get better?" she asked innocently.
"Magic doesn't always work," he told her.
"It always does in movies. And for princesses. Kagome's a princess, so it should work for her. Or Uncle Sessho should kiss her. When you kiss a princess, they wake up and they're all better. Sakura said it's because true love beats up evil. But she said Uncle Sessho can't kiss Kagome 'cause he's still in love with her mom."
InuYasha snorted. Sesshomaru was still in love with Kagura. He hated the bitch more than he hated being called a girl, or gay, both of which were comments he received a lot.
And then InuYasha realized he was watching too many Disney movies right along with Maiko, because he was thinking about whether or not Kagome would get better if he kissed her.
"Kagome!" Miroku Sasagawa yelled as he entered Rin's house that weekend for her party. "And InuYasha! It's high school all over again! Do I have to go looking for our Prom monarchy in the headmaster's office again? God, got to love high school."
Sango Sasagawa, his wife, slapped him over the top of her head and smiled at Kagome, her stepsister on Kagome's mother's side. "How are you?"
"Crappy," she replied, matter-of-factly. "Souta scored a hat-trick in football last week. He got a scholarship to go to college in England and play. How's my little Kohaku doing? The kids?"
Sango laughed and showed her the pregnant stomach. "Go ahead and feel them kick. They've been going wild since they heard your voice."
It was a shame she wouldn't be around to see Sango give birth to her twins, her fourth and fifth children, both girls. She and Miroku had two sons, a first-born and their last. Kagome had been there for all of them and christened each of them for the high school sweethearts.
Miroku shook Sesshomaru's hand and started to make his way around the room.
InuYasha just watched Kagome. It was obvious she was dying. The bruise-like bags took up the majority of her face and Kagome's skin was sickly pale. Her hand shook as she placed it on Sango's stomach and a tear trickled down her cheek as the babies kicked.
Her body didn't look as fragile as she was. She was still amazing with toned abs and so many curves it had given college boys wet-dreams while they were in high school together their freshmen year. She was wearing a corset-esque shirt made of gold and turquoise with a ruby stud for a belly-button ring and gold silk cargoes that were baggy but hinted at a figure.
"She looks like a model," Maiko whispered to InuYasha as he brought her to the room the kids were in and goofing off in. "Chichi, look. It's Shippo!"
InuYasha didn't notice immediately, he was too focused on Miroku's son, Eichi, staring at his little girl. He was seven, and InuYasha had the funny feeling the boy took after his father with his "cursed" hand.
Shippo was sitting with Sakura in the corner, coloring. It was obviously something Kagome had wanted. Shippo was eight, older than Sakura, and he seemed too polite to be just another kid.
"His mother beat him," Kagome told him, walking up behind him and scaring him. "Sorry. I like to come in and check up Shippo a lot," she told him, staring at her adopted son. "I saw him on the street one day, asking for money. Single mother, heroin addict…he had a sob story and I couldn't refuse. He was sitting in my apartment and having papers signed to hand him over to me not even an hour later."
"What will happen when you're gone?" he asked without thinking.
She sighed and gave him a sideways glance. "I should've figured you'd find out. It was inevitable with all the humanitarian pieces about me, all the charities I'm the poster child for and all the others I support. The one I started myself."
InuYasha merely watched the way Maiko acted towards Shippo and smiled when she joined the Sasagawas. He frowned a little when he saw her giving Eichi more attention than the other two. "More like ecchi," he muttered.
Kagome laughed, then wheezed a little. "He's harmless right now. His dad's been teaching him that anyone under fifteen was off-limits." She shrugged when InuYasha turned to her with a look of horror. "That's Miroku for you. At least Maiko has nine years to prepare herself." She paused. "She's a beautiful girl."
"You never told me what happens to Shippo."
She was silent. "I don't really know. Sesshomaru said he would, that he would always watch over my kids, his nephew. But I don't want to put that on Rin. She never agreed to watching him and I don't want to force her into a position where she has to care for a child she has no ties to."
He blurted his reply without thinking. "I'll take him."
She laughed and wheezed again. "I wouldn't put Rin through it and she's practically my sister. You really think I'd put Kikyou through it when she and I hate each other? That I'd put Shippo through another day where his mother-figure despised him?"
"I said I would take him," he told, slightly mad. "I didn't say anything about Kikyou. She doesn't know yet, but I plan on divorcing her. I have since the day I got your letter."
Kagome didn't reply, and he watched her turn away with silent tears down her face. He followed her and she spun on him, glaring. "Don't you dare guilt me about that. I made a decision that I thought would be best for the future and I stuck to it without looking back. I would make the same decision again if I had the choice."
"And I didn't have a say in anything," he told her.
She glared at him. "Well, I guess it sucks for you. Every day of your life you didn't have to feel like you were watching Sliding Doors and wondering what could've happened if it went the other way. I did, okay?"
She stalked off and ignored InuYasha the entire night. She left often to check on Shippo and laughed with Miroku and Sango about Eichi and Miroku's common characteristics. She smiled faintly and spoke softly. InuYasha noticed something was wrong with her and went to find his brother.
"Yash, it's called death," he replied seriously. "Kagome's lived a great life so far. She's been in love, she had a career, she was famous, had a family of her own. I made sure that she got everything a dying girl could wish for. Doesn't mean it can stop her from dying."
InuYasha glared at his brother. Sesshomaru hadn't given Kagome everything she ever wanted because she was willing to let the cancer kill her. Happy people fought it, gave it everything until the end and sometimes survived. Kagome was just giving up and accepting it.
Two weeks later, InuYasha was picking Maiko up from preschool when he saw Kagome walk in to see Rin. And right then, InuYasha knew. It was time for Kagome to leave the earth. She was done finally and she was saying her last goodbyes.
"Oi, Kagome!" he yelled.
She froze and turned, barely catching Maiko as she came careening into her from down the hall. "Kagome, Chichi and Ojisan say you're going to die soon. You can't leave us! We need you. Sakura and me and Shippo and Eichi and Sumire and Sunao."
Kagome smiled as strongly as she could. "Maiko, you barely even remember me," she replied. "But if you really need me, I'll always be right here," she told the little girl as she pointed to her heart.
"Promise?"
"Promise."
InuYasha snorted. "That's all good and fine, wench, but I have a parting gift," he told her, pulling her to him and kissing her like he used to.
He broke away and Kagome smiled. For the first time since he realized her had such a limited time with the loved of his life, InuYasha felt everything would be okay. Like she might survive and they could make it together.
The next day InuYasha read in the paper that Kagome had passed on not even an hour later, just as she had parked her car in the driveway. He felt a wave of regret and bitterness wash over him.
What did he expect when he kissed her? That she'd suddenly become healthy and all her problems go away? That he'd have more time with her? He should've expected it, yet he had to admit he was expecting everything, a miracle.
He went to the Wake and saw even Sakura sad. Not crying, because she didn't like Kagome in the first place, but sad because everyone else was crying, even Shippo.
He shook his brother's hand and murmured condolences. Sesshomaru gave him a grim smile and handed him a paper addressed to InuYasha with messy, shaking writing that had once been Kagome's neat and flowing handwriting.
"She wanted you to have it" Sesshomaru told him.
He didn't look at it until after he got home and gave Kikyou the divorce papers. He waited until he was all alone in his hotel room, though Maiko was in the hotel with him. The letters, once so neat and strong, made InuYasha cry that they were so weak and messy now.
InuYasha,
I don't understand why this keeps happening to us. Why I have to keep saying goodbye to you. But I guess fate had to let us have our last times.
Congratulations on raising Maiko so far. She's beautiful and will break as many hearts as her dad did when she grows up. I feel special I had the chance to see her after so long and blessed to be able to share those few moments I did with her.
As for you, I love you. Sesshomaru told me how you thought I was unhappy and if I was happy I would live longer. I was lucky I got so long. I had never thought I was unhappy until I saw you again. I guess it was fate again, saying we needed that closure.
Just remember that I love you. The happiest moment of my life was when you kissed me, and I knew then that I would need nothing more to be happy. I couldn't be any happier. As cliché as it sounded, I could die happy.
The only thing I regret was not making it last. Not having one last night together like we shared frequently as kids. A night of sex would have been great too, but I wish we were kids again for one last night. Staring up at the clouds and making promises neither of us could keep.
So I guess this is it. I never know when I'll go, but I told Sesshomaru to give this to you after I was gone, so I know it's the end. This is closure.
I love you,
Kagome.
Sakura moved on and Sesshomaru married Rin, which made Sakura happy as well as her new parents. Shippo visited often, though he now lived with InuYasha and Maiko.
Kikyou went on to marry another man.
InuYasha never remarried, never dated again. He lived long until he saw his children and his children's children grow up and fly away. InuYasha saw his first great-grandchildren be born before he grew old and ready for death.
Shippo visited with his wife, three of his four sons and seven grandchildren of his won. Maiko came with Eichi Sasagawa, her husband to InuYasha aggravation and amusement because he knew Kagome saw it coming, their seven children and three grandchildren.
He smiled at the thought of his family surrounding him when he left. Then he thought back to the love of his life, who had died in her car just after he made her happy. He grimaced at his family and whispered to his daughter and his and Kagome's son.
"I'll send Kagome your love," he told them, passing on.
AN: I didn't want to write just another piece of fluff. Yes, I know it has SessKag in it, but that was something I was requested to do, not something I support. I hate SessKag. So think, if you had one last chance, one last moment, to share with someone you love, what would you do?