The Hill
"I'm bored!" Renji huffed.
"Well it's not like I can do anything about it, so, Shut the hell up!" Hitsugaya exclaimed in the icy way he does.
The three boys Ichigo Kurosaki, Toshiro Hitsugaya, and Renji Abarai, were bored, Very, bored.
"Geez, no need to be mean …. You little shit." Renji mumbled so low that only Hitsugaya could hear.
"What'd you say, and who you callin' little?!"
Ichigo sat and listened to their argument, they were at their hillside mansion. The hill was an awesome place, it was beautiful there and the guys loved to spend time there when in between missions, but there wasn't really much to do most of the time. This just happened to be one of those times.
Renji was sprawled out on the floor in the middle of the living room while Hitsugaya was hanging by his knees doing upside down sit-ups from the pull-up bar between the beams above. Ichigo was sitting on a barstool at the island in the kitchen.
"Oi, Ichigo, when do we have to go back to post?" Toshiro asked.
"Friday. Why?" Ichigo answered, as Hitsugaya released himself from the bar landing on the tile floor practically soundless.
The three were on a Special Ops U.S military team called 'Alpha Force."
Around 5 pm Hitsugaya went into the kitchen and started a meal for the three of them. Ichigo and Renji milled around the house looking for something to do to break the boredom. Hitsugaya is an amazing cook and when it comes to food, he's all about some Italian. It's his favorite and before long, the smell of his creation had permeated the whole house.
In a goofy voice, from across the room Renji asked…."Good God, something smells good...what is that?"
"ummmm, Pasta Puttanesca." Hitsugaya purred as he took a bite. He savored the flavor for a moment, then exclaimed….Wow! This is….." and he gasped, furrowing his brow hard, as he clutched his hand to his chest …..then without another word, he collapsed hitting the floor loudly. Renji and Ichigo heard him hit and turned to look.
"Toshiro!" Ichigo roared as he and Renji ran across the room only to find, no sign of Toshiro Hitsugaya.
"Where'd he go?" Then Ichigo grabbed walkie talkies off the counter, tossed one to Renji, then sprinted to the closet were he got a nerf gun. At the same time Renji ran and dove over the couch grabbing his nerf gun as he came out of a ninja roll and slammed his back up against the wall.
"Ichigo, stay alert, he is the assassin of the group." Whispered a very unprepared Renji into his walkie.
"No shit, Dumbass!" Ichigo whispered back harshly. Then the two heard a bone-chilling childish giggle. At the same time the two said "Oh. My. God."
Hitsugaya was above the two on one of the nine large beams. He started to sing slowly in a terrifying child's voice. "I love you, you love me, we're a happy family, with a great big hug and a kiss from me to you."
"Ichigo, dude, we, are, screwed. Oh, ho, ho, man." Renji sobbed.
"You're telling me!" Ichigo looked around the corner giving Renji a sarcastic look.
"Won't you say you love me too… the itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout down came the rain washed the spider out, out came the sun and dried up all the rain and the itsy bitsy spider went up the spout again." Hitsugaya then threw his fork onto the floor. Both Ichigo and Renji jumped up instinctively.
"On the ceiling!" Ichigo screamed. The two started rapidly shooting at him as he leaped from beam to beam before doing a spiral dive off them landing on the couch in the living room; from there he bolted to the office.
"You two shoot like one armed monkeys on prom night!" Hitsugaya shouted.
"Yeah, well come in here, and I'll clean the floor with that mop you call your hair!" Renji retorted. Renji and Ichigo's military skills kicked in. They swiftly moved to the door of the room where Hitsugaya landed. Little do they know of, the extent of the assassin's skills. Renji kicked the door in to find, again, no Hitsugaya, but there were to real, bullet shooting, Auto 9's waiting for them on the neatly made bed. The two looked at one another.
"So, he wants to play dirty, eh?" Ichigo said slyly, grinning maniacally like the unrestrained bastard he is, they gladly grabbed the guns. "What the heck."
Just then Hitsugaya switched the power off. He was in nothing but khaki military pants, black boots and a leather strap of throwing knives across his back including a perfectly sculpted upper body and night vision sunglasses.
"Renji, you get the night seekers and I'll get the flash bangs and grenades."
"Got it."
Hitsugaya slowly and quietly crept up the stairs only to be shot at as he ran down the hall diving and sliding head first into the end room kicking the door closed. Renji shot at the door putting a good sized hole in it with his newly equipped automatic pistol. It started to sound like a war zone inside the house.
"Contact north!" Renji barked. Just then they heard gunshots from the opposite side of the room. They both whipped their heads around shooting towards the gunshots. This bought time for Hitsugaya to escape to his secret stash hidden in his bedroom behind his nightstand. He crawled through the hole into a stairwell that leads downward. He followed it after closing the nightstand door, into a massive basement filled with guns, explosives, grenades, practically any military weapon you could think of. Renji got up carefully, walked over to where the gunshot sounds were, finding a square thing.
He pressed stop on Hitsugaya's IPod terminating the gunshots. Hitsugaya heard the ceasing gunshots
'Shit.' Hitsugaya thought to himself 'They figured it out.'
Ichigo went to the hallway closet opening a secret door grabbing an RC car. He drove the little car to the room where they thought Hitsugaya was, only to have it blow up as Hitsugaya stormed around the corner behind the boys shooting a huge grenade launcher in one hand and a machine gun in the other. Renji and Ichigo dove in opposite directions. Ichigo managed to shoot Hitsugaya in the leg. Renji threw a flash bang blinding Hitsugaya. Return fire came, hitting Renji in the arm and nicking Ichigo on his side. All three now bleeding were at war with one another throwing C4, grenades and other explosives. Renji had multiple scratches and cuts same with the others. The three boys didn't know, but there was a furious Matsumoto, Momo and Rukia watching from the outside. The girls burst through the front door, stopping the boys dead in their tracks.
They were fighting hand to hand combat. Renji had Hitsugaya in a choke hold, Hitsugaya was biting Renji's arm while his right leg was wrapped around Ichigo's neck and his left leg was wrapped around Ichigo's chest, and Ichigo was helplessly flailing his limbs.
Suddenly, the guys held their positions turned to look at the unexpected women who had just barged through the door. Rukia walked over to the closet, grabbed an MP5K and waited. Matsumoto walked to Hitsugaya's room and came back with a M16A4. Momo went to the laundry room and came back to the living room with a Mini-Uzi. Momo grabbed Renji, Matsumoto grabbed Hitsugaya, and Rukia grabbed Ichigo. All women had demented looks with their guns pointed at one another.
"Rules?" asked Matsumoto.
Hitsugaya piped in. "Rules? What rules?"
"Shut up, Hitsugaya."
"You shut up Ichigo."
"Boys, can it! Rukia, what are the rules?" Matsumoto snapped impatiently.
Rukia tilted her head to the side to think then she had mischievous look in her eye. "Crew expendable."
The boys looked and gave one another an 'Ah, Shit' look. The three began to drag their men in separate directions. The boys all exclaimed at the same time.
"Alpha! Mike! Foxtrot!"
The girls were also on a Special Ops USM team called The Damsels.
Matsumoto quickly set up motion trackers as Hitsugaya got the first aid kit out of the bathroom. Rukia and Ichigo were in Ichigo's bedroom, Renji and Momo were in Renji's upstairs room, and Hitsugaya and Matsumoto were his master bedroom.
The girls got prepared, then set out to attack. Rukia had gone prone when she saw Momo. She cocked her gun and opened fire. Momo ducked and broke into a sprint and took cover behind the island in the kitchen, and returned fire, then launched a flash bang up the stairs. Rukia went wide eyed and covered her head. Momo took the chance and ran up the stairs took Rukia's gun and started to run back to Renji, but the flash effect wore off. Rukia blinked then ran toward Momo. Rukia jumped and grabbed Momo's shoulders and they crashed into the guard rail, landing on the dining room table.
Glass shattered and tables broke, guns were shot and war cries were heard, but that didn't stop the war, no. Matsumoto heard this and took advantage of the moment, she threw a flash bang towards the two. Meanwhile, Renji had snuck out of his room, down the stairs then out to the balcony. Ichigo and Hitsugaya followed.
"Oi, who do you thinks gonna win?" Renji asked.
"I don't know, but a nice cold soda and some pasta sounds good." Hitsugaya groaned as he rubbed his stomach.
"Oh, that sounds good. I'll sneak in and get us some." Ichigo said as he turned to go get them something to eat.
After they finished eating, they guys realized that the girls were still fighting, and by this time the house was destroyed, it was bad. About that time, Renji decided it was time to end the war, time to go in and stop the girls from killing each other. Renji headed in, but Hitsugaya and Ichigo….well, they stayed out on the balcony watching and waiting.
"Yo, Ichigo I bet you two hundred bucks we're probably gonna have to go stop them."
"I don't know, Captain, I think I'm gonna have to disagree with you on that one, I'm thinkin' Renji can handle the girls."
They looked at each other, pulled out their money and watched the outcome with big mischievous grins on their faces.
~Just another day on the hill.
Written By Trystin Wilson 2011