First off, I'd like to thank Brighteyes of Thunderclan for beta reading this chapter! She was very helpful and I'd like to tell all you weird people-things to go check out her profile!

~o~

Title: Warriors: Warrior Therapy

Author: JazzTheAutobot

Rated: T

Censored swear words and the occasional "hell" and rather often "bitch".

Summary: Fireflower (OC) tries her best to counsel warriors/give them therapy, but she sucks pretty bad at it. Luckily, she has handy-dandy Silverthistle (OC) as an assistant. But, she's not very helpful either.

NOTES: FIREFLOWER and SILVERTHISTLE are my OCs. I will not tolerate anyone using them without my permission.

Disclaimer: I only own FIREFLOWER and SILVERTHISTLE. Every other character belongs to Erin Hunter and her only.

~o~

Fireflower woke with a start as Silverthistle jabbed her side. With a growl, Fireflower sat up. "What?" She snapped. She then realized that she was laying on the cold floor.

Confused, Fireflower looked around. Where have my soft blue chairs and couch gone? She thought. And my soft blue rug?

"We're getting new furniture!" Silverthistle exclaimed, earning a glare from Fireflower.

The silver and white tabby avoided Fireflower's stare. "Let's head on down to Cloudtail's Coffee, shall we?"

Rolling her eyes, Fireflower nodded. "First, though, I'm taking a shower."

Silverthistle smiled. "And a client will be meeting us there."

Scoffing, Fireflower got to her paws and padded into the bathroom.

~o~

Whistling, Fireflower turned the shower handle. Hot water shot from the showerhead and ran down Fireflower's body.

She grabbed her honey-scented shampoo and squirted it into her fur. She scrubbed for a few minutes, whistling.

She let the water wash out the shampoo.

Fireflower turned off the water and hopped out of the shower. Drying herself off, she headed to the sink, brushing her teeth and sharpening her claws.

~o~

Fireflower jumped into the red Corvette, Silverthistle already at the wheel. Silverthistle backed out of the building's parking lot, still avoiding Fireflower's painful glare.

Fireflower opened her mouth as a long string of curse words came tumbling out. "STUPID BITCH! WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU-"

Silverthistle only tolerated the swearing for fifteen minutes. Finally, she leaned over and abruptly shut Fireflower up, pressing a silver paw to the ginger's mouth. "Hush now, Baby Fire." Silverthistle murmured.

Fireflower growled and bit Silverthistle's paw, earning a glare as the bleeding paw was jerked away.

~o~

Silverthistle and Fireflower strode into Cloudtail's Coffee. "Get me a medium-black with extra sugar!" Fireflower snapped at her silver assistant.

Ten minutes later, Silverthistle sat down and handed Fireflower a mug of coffee and a blueberry muffin. Taking a sip of her own coffee, Silverthistle smiled at the ginger and white tabby across from her, who was greedily gulping down the mug of coffee.

A light-grey she-cat waltzed over to their table. "Oh, hi!" Silverthistle said. "You must be Dovepaw!"

Dovepaw nodded, smiling, and sat down. "Silverthistle and Fireflower, right?"

"Yup!" Silverthistle said. "Would you like a coffee? A tea maybe?"

"A tea would be nice." Dovepaw said.

"What kind?"

"Uh, just peppermint with extra honey please."

Nodding, Silverthistle got up.

"And get me another coffee." Fireflower said, biting into her muffin.

"Actually, Baby Fire, a tea might do you good." Silverthistle murmured. Fireflower glared at her. "Fine, I'll just get you a decaf coffee."

Silverthistle ordered the tea and coffee, and bought another muffin. She sat back down, handing Fireflower the coffee and Dovepaw the tea and muffin.

"What's your problem?" Fireflower asked Dovepaw.

Dovepaw sighed. "Well, you see. I don't know what to do. I love a ShadowClan cat...and I'm just...just...I don't know what to do!"

"Here's my advice: Stop running off with a ShadowClan cat, you prissy bitch." Fireflower growled.

"Fire!" Silverthistle exclaimed, shocked.

With a "hmph!" Dovepaw got up and stalked off, abandoning two cats, a cup of tea, and a half-eaten muffin.

Silverthistle shook her head disapprovingly at Fireflower. With a sigh, she slowly asked "Should we get a tiramisu before we leave?"

~o~

Fireflower stroked the wall. Silverthistle padded into the room. "Hey, Fire-" She stopped abruptly, spotting Fireflower. Shaking her head, she sighed, "Oh, Fire...Are you drunk again?"

Fireflower snapped her head up. "No!" She exclaimed. "I-I was just-just...THE WALL NEEDED COMFORTING, OKAY?"

Silverthistle rolled her eyes. "And I suppose you didn't punch the wall in a fit of rage?"

"No!" Fireflower stared at the ground. "Maybe..."

"You'll get your &$(!$& furniture back soon, crybaby."

"I'm not a crybaby! And you're a-"

"Yeah, yeah." Silverthistle interrupted. "I'm a stupid bitch. I've heard that a million times before."

There was a knock on the door. Silverthistle slowly opened it. Sandstorm, the desk manager, popped her head in. "'Sup, bitches. There's-" She began, only to be interrupted rudely by Silverthistle.

"CAN EVERYONE JUST STOP SAYING 'BITCH'!" The silver tabby screamed.

There was silence in the room for a minute, then Sandstorm cleared her throat and started talking again. "There's a client here for a 4:05 appointment. Should I send her in?"

Fireflower shrugged. "Sure." She muttered.

"Go to your room." Silverthistle said. "I'll handle this one today."

Scoffing, Fireflower got up and padded out of the room. Sandstorm sent in the next client, who was an ugly-looking she-cat named Yellowfang.

"So, Yellowfang." Silverthistle said, smiling as they sat on the floor. "Fireflower's not feeling good today, so I'm filling in for her. I'm Silverthistle. So, what's been troubling you?"

"Well," Yellowfang started slowly. "When I was still the ShadowClan medicine cat, I had kits...with Raggedstar. I think StarClan cursed me or something, because one of my kits was Brokenstar, and he was evil. And I just recently killed him..."

"Oh." Silverthistle said. "What about the other kits?"

"Both dead."

"Uh...when did they die?"

"When they were born."

"So...you regret having kits, correct?"

"Yes."

"Do you regret falling in love?"

"Yes."

"When you fell in love, you shouldn't have admitted your feelings to Raggedstar."

"HE HAD FEELINGS FOR ME, TOO!" Yellowfang screamed, enraged.

Looks like this is going pretty bad so far, Silverthistle thought. "Yes, but I'm saying that if you were a medicine cat, why'd you think it'd be okay to get together?"

"I DIDN'T THINK THAT!"

"Then why'd you do it?" Silverthistle growled, her teeth gritted an her voice rising a bit. She was getting annoyed.

"BECAUSE I LOVED HIM!"

"AND YOU WERE A FOOL TO FOLLOW YOUR HEART!" Silverthistle screamed, shocked at what she heard come from her mouth.

Yellowfang's face screwed up in rage. "I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE CALLED A FOOL AND GET INSULTED! I CAME HERE SO THAT YOU COULD HELP ME STOP FEELING SAD!"

"I'M NOT HERE TO MAKE YOU FEEL LESS SAD!" Silverthistle boomed. "I'M HERE TO HELP YOU GET OVER YOUR MISTAKES!"

"THAT'S IT! I'M DONE! I DON'T NEED THIS!" Fuming, Yellowfang stomped out of the room, her face red.

~o~

Sandstorm watched in surprise as Yellowfang stormed out of the building.

Sandstorm rolled her eyes, annoyed. "That's the fifth time this month." She groaned.