Title: Moonflower
Author: Mi-chan
Series: Generator Gawl (takes place after episode 4 or somewhere thereabouts).
Rating: PG (not in a lemony mood O.o;).
Notes: Does anyone else besides me get the impression that Kouji is jealous of Gawl? Well... he is. ^^ This is sorta kinda a one-shot deal I did while bored... which... is when I usually do odd things. That's why I got Rubix CUBE to keep me out of trouble! I love my Rubix Cube. We're running away together. Forget college! I LOVE YOU RUBIX CUBE!

hides the sugar



*



You depend on him too much...

Kouji's words echo in my mind, reverberating until my ears ring to the point of pain. I sit up in my futon so fast my head spins, sweat trickling down my temples to the crook of my neck. I must have been tossing and turning like mad; my sheets bunched up at my ankles, my pillow soaked with cold sweat.

Another dream. A dream about Kouji; His words, then destruction, followed by visions of the Hell our time was turned into thanks to the generators. I know this nightmare all too well--although sometimes I forget I'm already awake. Kouji didn't have to say that to me... I know I'm childish, and rely a lot on others to bail me out of compromising situations... but...

I can't help it the only one who comes to my rescue every single time... is Ryo.

You depend on him too much...

I glance over, noticing that my two companions are out like a light, oblivious to my mental anguish and fading nightmare. Slowly creeping back to reality, I shake my head. These dreams keep coming back to haunt me every night. How am I to know they're not trying to tell me something? I mean, besides the doomed future and all?

It's Ryo. It's about Ryo. I want to be with him... but for some reason, Kouji--

You depend on him...

"No!" I scream throatily, shaking my head, before realizing I could have woke the whole neighborhood just now, not to mention a rather nosy redhead girl who lives downstairs. Frozen, my hands grasping my hair, I shake off the last of the tremors that race through my body. Ryo and Kouji can sleep through anything tonight...

I plop myself back down on my pillow. That's enough, Gawl... you have school tomorrow. And you have to keep your grades up or else your teachers are going to start suspecting something. It's bad enough Masami's been on my case since we got here; I realize the girl's got the hots for me, but... but...

My eyes drift over to Ryo, sleeping on the futon beside me. His breathing comes evenly; I am mesmerized by the rise and fall accompanying every feathery breath. His whispy honey-gold hair falls like a curtain over his ivory-smooth complexion.

Ryo. He must be dreaming something so sweet now... his eyes gently closed, unaware of my shameless gawking.

He stirs a bit, one eye cracking open. He sees me then; startled, worry spreading over his face, as it usually does. "What's wrong Gawl? Another generator?"

"No.. I... couldn't sleep is all."

Ryo blinked, then looked at me as if another hand had sprouted from my head. "Are you feeling okay?"

My turn to blink. Am I okay? That depends, Ryo. If you want to take into account the fact that my ability to generate is killing me, then no, I'm not okay. I'm too young for this, Ryo. I should be living my life as carefree and innocently as Masami and Natsume. I should be an ordinary teenage guy, drooling over pretty girls and worrying about final exams.

But instead... "Yeah, I'm fine," I rasp, my sulking giving me away anyway and proving me a liar.

Ryo sat up, situating himself beside me, testing my temperature with a hand to my forehead. "You're on fire, Gawl. Where's your medicine?"

"I took some before bed," I say, becoming a little defensive. I really hate taking medicine. "Really, Ryo, I'm fine."

He knows I'm lying, yet he nods in agreement anyway. That's one of the things that I love the most about him; he won't push touchy subjects too far, unlike a certain green haired guy sleeping all but three feet away. No, Ryo is considerate... respectful.

We sit silent a moment, side by side, until I feel the gentle weight of his head on my shoulder. I would have been startled had this not been so typical of Ryo; Sure, he and Kouji hung out a lot, but I hardly doubt the guy had any compassion in times like these for Ryo. I'm sure that 'comforting your friends' was last on Kouji's priority list.

All Ryo wants from us is comfort; hell, even I, with my impulsive, absent-minded, and flighty personality, could see that. Why Kouji insisted on being so cold all the time... I just can't understand it.

"It's Kouji, isn't it?"

I stiffen, which might have been the wrong thing to do, considering Ryo's close enough to feel it.

"Gawl... don't take anything Kouji says or does to heart. He's having a hard time dealing just like you and me."

I sigh. Ryo could be so warmhearted at times. It's touching.

"Ryo... he said... that I depend on you too much. Like a child." I didn't notice it before, but sometime during the conversation Ryo grabbed my hand. Running his thumb over my knuckles, a shiver courses through my body.

Ryo chuckles a bit. "He said that? Jeez, Gawl, seriously. If anyone's depending on anyone here, it's Kouji and I. If it weren't for you, those generators out there would have killed us off a long time ago. We need you, Gawl."

I manage to crack a smile. This brightens Ryo up a bit, who's now looking into my eyes. Instinctively I slide an arm around him. He's a little startled by this; I'm used to Ryo being the touchy-feely kinda guy, but generally I keep my hands to myself. "I don't know what I'd do... if you didn't need me, Ryo." He seems to relax a little at this, resting his head on my shoulder once more.

"It's... okay... for friends to act this way, right?" He's worrying again. Sometimes I wish to God Ryo wouldn't think about things too much.

Wincing at the reluctance in his voice, I fume a bit. Not overly so, but enough to get my point across. "Look, I don't know what Kouji's said or done to you lately, but I'm sure if anything at all it wasn't very... 'uplifting' at all... knowing him. You need comfort, you come to me, alright? I'm your friend, Ryo."

"Thanks, Gawl. That makes me feel better," he says with a small smile. His eyes convey so much more than what he's admitting to, though. "It's just... sometimes... I need this."

"I understand. I need it to," I say, getting a little shaky all of a sudden. Anxiety was going to be the death of me. But if I wasn't so impulsive I'd probably be dead by now... My instincts have always been right before, and have saved my scrawny hide many times when confronting the generators. Why should they be wrong now?

As if pulled by some... force... my arms wrap around Ryo. They nearly squeeze him to death; I realize my own strength and loosen up a bit to find Ryo speechless and looking up into my eyes. I narrow my own, trying to figure out what it is... that is in those blue pools. It's not sadness, nor is it depression, ironically.

I place my thumb on it--Regret.

"You feel bad... about me... don't you?" I say, treasuring the warmth of his body against mine. It was intoxicating; I lower my head to his, inhaling his smell deeply, that of herbal shampoo and honeysuckle. Great... images of Ryo showering before bedtime were the last thing I needed in my head, what with us clinging to each other like this...

Ryo nods against my shoulder, burrying his face into my neck, and his voice is shaking, threatening to burst out into a fit of sobs. "I'm so sorry, Gawl. I'm sorry. Oh God... you don't know how... how... horrible it makes me feel, going day to day...

"...dammit, Gawl. I must have been a saint in a past life to deserve a friend like you."

"Ryo," I say, lifting his chin so that our eyes are locked. "You don't worry about me, now. We have a job to do. Don't forget that. As long as we get our job done, everything will be fine. And then you and I--"

"And Kouji," Ryo added sheepishly.

"--right, and Kouji...." I trail off, realizing my hand had taken on a life of its own and was now caressing Ryo's cheek with the softest of touches. My impetuous nature quickly ran off with my self-control, I noticed, as my nose was only mere centimeters from Ryo's face and closing in. Uncontrollable lust and longing were enjoying themselves so much they decided to bring friends, fooling my sense of good judgement with desire.

Our lips brushed briefly, a tempting taste of what lied just beyond. I didn't dare push him into it; if anything, Ryo was more willing than I. My cheeks were flaming hot; I imagined if I went any further I wouldn't be able to stop.

Much to our mutual disappointment, and out of respect for the sleeping Kouji only mere feet away, I did. Ryo whimpered in protest, but I raised a finger to his mouth to silence him. "Ryo... you and I... I was wrong. We've definately got some things to resolve. But not now. Not with Mr. Poker-Faced Party Pooper trying to get a decent night's sleep over there."

"Gawl..."

I kissed him again, this time more fully. Our embrace became so desperate I could have sworn I heard a few of Ryo's ribs crack through the sound of my heart pounding in my ears. We pulled away after a fashion, faces flushed, gasping for stolen breath and trying to regain our composure.

Ryo was the first to recover, rubbing the back of his head with a wavering hand. "You're right," he whispered, glancing over at Kouji. "We should get some sleep. We've got that test in Organic Chemistry and all tomorrow..."

"Yeah."

When I had positioned myself comfortably beneath the sheets again, and noticed that Ryo had done the same, we both rolled over to lock eyes. His hand was on mine again... I didn't question his desire for closeness this time, nor did I drown it in the notion that it was out of need for pure comfort and loneliness. Maybe... just maybe... no, I am sure of it... Ryo feels the same way about me that I've always had about him. "You know, Ryo..."

"Hmm?" He mumbled, his voice threatened by sleep.

"I... I am serious about this only if you are." I squeeze his hand reassuringly. "I... you know I don't have much time left. If... i-if we're going to do this you have to be serious about it. I'm not in it for kicks."

"Oh... but I am, Gawl... I'm serious. And I've never been so sure about anything in my life."

"Time is short," I remind him, snuggling my head into my pillow, sleep working its powers over on me as well.

"That is so cliché ," Ryo yawns, holding my hand to his chest--for reassurance, perhaps. His eyelids slowly fall and after a while, his steady breathing tells me that he's already sleeping like a log. I can't wait to see Kouji's face when we wake up in the morning...

"Yeah, you're right, that is cliche," I whisper to his slumbering form. "But you know what makes it that way?

"Because it's true, Ryo."

I love him. I love Ryo. I will continue to depend on him, just as he depends on me... as long as my time permits.

Oyasumi... aishiteru.




O.o Owari.