A/N: A very short EPOV because he was very loud in my head at this part and wanted to be heard.

Thanks to my beta, Fran, and how fast she edited this! It's like she has magic wand...

The Girl and her Sleeping Face

An Outtake from Chapter 11.

Fuck it.

She's asleep.

In my fucking house.

Right in my fucking bed.

Wearing my fucking clothes.

A few fucking inches away from me.

And freshly fucking showered.

Fuck. I'm getting hard.

Why did she even ask me to stay here in the first place? This is taking every fucking ounce of my self-control to behave. But she looks so serene while she sleeps – like the angel I first laid my eyes on that day when we met.

Her mouth is slightly opened.

I thought of a hundred ways to kiss those lips.

And they were fucking ample.

Fuck this.

I remember her telling me while we were in the car that Rosalie had gotten to kiss those lips. It almost made me laugh, if I wasn't seething with rage over that fucking dog. But I couldn't blame Rosalie – they were the most kissable lips I've ever seen.

I even envy Rosalie a little bit. But them kissing – fuck, that would have been hot. I wished I was there, like a peeping tom.

And it was her fucking first kiss. And Rosalie stole it. And the dog tried to steal it from her, too.

Fuck.

I really wanted to kiss her.

But instead of kissing her like the savage that I am, I ran my hands against her hair, reveling in the privilege to do this while she didn't know. She had the softest, most fragrant hair I've ever touched or smelled.

Sure, I've slept with a bunch of other women – mostly whores. I can't help it. I'm a man, after all. I have needs.

But this girl – Bella – she is different.

She is so innocent, so kind, so selfless, so honest, and so compassionate that I even try to watch my mouth when I'm around her.

I don't want to act like the bastard that I am when I'm with her. Somehow, just because of her presence, I wanted to treat her the proper way, the way she should be treated.

I wanted to be a fucking gentleman to her.

Oh God, she's moving closer to me.

Fuck.

She smells so good. And she looks so soft.

Since the first time I saw her, I've imagined countless ways we could be together in bed – none of them as innocent as this.

But there is something sacred, something good, and something right in lying so innocently beside her like this.

Sure, I'd fuck her if I have a choice.

No, that didn't quite sound right. I'd have sex with her.

No, that still isn't right. This girl is too special to be ranked like some whore with those degrading words.

I'd make love to her.

I've never done that before – make love to someone. For me, sex is just a chore to get off. However, with her, the idea is intriguing to me, as though it could be something desirable.

Like it was something I would gladly do and would make me complete afterwards.

I'd kiss every inch of her, revel in her body, and worship her the way she should be worshipped.

When she told me she cared for me, I knew it was more than that. It was incredible, and it was hard to believe, but I saw it in her eyes.

But she was so innocent, so pure, so untainted that she didn't know what she was feeling.

And at that moment, I wanted to cry – not like a fucking baby, but it just felt so damn good to hear her say those words. That an amazing creature such as her would ever fall for me.

Fuck, she's lifting her hand.

What is she going to do?

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

She's hugging me.

Damn. It's really hard to have self-control.

When I first saw her in my shirt, I lost it for a second. I thought of probably ten ways to make love to her with her still in my shirt. I would get lost in her as she screamed my name. I would see the pucker between her eyes as she concentrated on me. I would see her curl her lip as she writhed below me.

But most of all, I would see her glow. We would come as one. And she would smile afterwards – that same beautiful smile that makes my heart stop.

And she would whisper my name, like a melody. And I would come undone all over again.

It would be like heaven. Just thinking of it makes me crave the 'making love' so much.

Not like that fucking asshole that she calls a friend. That dog who tried to force himself on her.

I would have fucking killed that guy if she didn't plead for me to stop.

Jacob, the fucking dog.

Just thinking about his name makes all my previous anger resurface.

I would rip him to pieces, and skin him alive, and would burn every bit of him.

And I would laugh so fucking hard as he disintegrates to ash.

He has no excuse whatsoever to force any girl like that – more so this pure, delicate, beautiful angel. If a girl says 'no', no matter what kind of animal you are you will stop.

And he didn't.

Fuck Jacob to the deepest pit of hell. I really should have killed him, and I would've enjoyed it.

But Bella needed me.

I knew she was only trying to stop me when she said she needed me. She's not a good liar.

But just the thought that she needed me was my undoing.

And it was more like an automatic thing for me to do as she asked. Like I couldn't help myself when she wanted me to do something for her.

Bella is my strength and my weakness.

I would move mountains for her, and I would bow down on a floor of broken glasses to her.

And I realized, that for the first time, there is still a human part in me – that I am still capable of human emotions.

That I am not just a monster or a killing machine.

That I can love.

And someone could love me in return, though she doesn't know it yet.

But she is an angel.

And I'm damned.

I couldn't be anything more for her no matter how hard I tried. I am rotten, grotesque, hideous, compared to her.

And it's wrong for me to love her.

I have a mission. And I am so close to fulfilling it – so close to attaining the goal that has brought me to this damned life.

And I can't lose my focus just because I fell in love with her.

But when she told me her story, and she told me her feelings, there was hope – a tiny drop in a sea of sorrow – that I might actually be fit for her. That I could be saved from my own pain. That she could be the one to lead me out of this life.

It was a tiny droplet. But it stands out from all the other bodies of water in the tides of my tormented life, making it the most noticeable of all.

"Edward."

Fuck, is she awake?

"Ed-ward…"

Her eyes are closed, but she's mumbling things. Is she… sleep talking?

"Stay."

Did she just ask me… t-to stay?

I've spent an entire week with her in that smelly, grimy apartment before, and I've never once heard her talk in her sleep. Maybe she was just so tired because of what happened this day.

'Can't say I blame her. It was a strenuous day, even for me.

"What choice do I have? Whatever you say is a command to me – one that I cannot break."

Though it sounded fucking cheesy, it's the truth.

"Edward. Never leave me again. Stay."

I smiled as I stared at the beautiful angel who landed in this hell that I'm living in.

"Edward?"

"Yes?"

"You smell so good…"

I chuckled quietly, careful not to wake her up.

"You smell divine," I whispered back.

She smiled, and it was all that I needed.

No fuck.

No sex.

No sleeping with her.

Not even making love.

Could ever trump how fucking ecstatic I was feeling at this time.

It was more than enough – it was incredibly enough – that I got to spend one night with her…

As my angel sleeps.

Briefly, I forget who I am, and how I shouldn't be with her.

And everything seems possible …

Right now, all that mattered was the present.

And for this night to never end for us.