Title: Because Doing it Right Isn't for Uchihas
Author: tanikara kohitsuji
Theme Used: 1. The Ring's On the Other Hand
Pairing: Uchiha Sasuke x Haruno Sakura
Because Doing it Right Isn't for Uchihas
He frowned and held out the ring to her. "Here."
Sakura blinked at the plain gold band. "Huh?"
Sasuke frowned even more before coming over. He took her right hand and slipped it on her ring finger.
"I'm asking you to marry me."
She blinked up at him, then at her new engagement ring. (Because, doi, she was going to say yes to the man she's loved since she was five.) "This is how you're proposing?" she asked, tackling the most glaring of problems first. Where was the romance? The beautiful poetic speeches of how he doesn't deserve her, shouldn't ask this of her, but is anyway?
No. Apparently her teammate (not even boyfriend!) Uchiha Sasuke is too good for such things. He gets to skip all of this stupid (so not!) sappy (it's supposed to be, you jerk!) speech stuff and just randomly haul out a ring and put it on her hand.
No prelude needed. Because apparently, he's just that freaking awesome (only, not.).
He gave her a look that obviously conveyed his disbelief that she wants that cheesy romantic crap from him. "Yes."
"Are you kidding me?" she asked, growling a little. She didn't care how good he thought he was, she needed an explanation, a lead-in to the ring. "No reason? No 'Sakura, we've known each other a long time…' speech? Just 'Take the ring!'" She gestured with her arms.
"Yes. I see no reason why I should tell you what you already know."
She rubbed her temples to try to calm herself.
"Sasuke-kun, if you're seriously asking me to spend the rest of my life with you, I need proof that you really care. Getting me a ring and shoving it on my hand will not work. I need proof that you love me enough to spend a lifetime with me." She placed on her hands on her hips after this, waiting for the flowery language.
"Sakura, why should I have to tell you? I've shown you every day since you came running after me in the Land of Iron," the last Uchiha replied.
"Sometimes girls need to hear the words. We need to hear it every once in a while."
"But I show you it every day!"
"I know you do! I'm not saying you don't! I just need to hear it sometimes! I'm not saying I don't want you to keep showing me. But sometimes, Sasuke-kun, I need to hear you say those three little words." She took his hand and looked into his deep onyx eyes. "It's not that I don't get it when you play Mr. Knight in Shining Armor for me. It's not that I want you to stop. But showing me is not enough all the time. Sometimes I want to hear you say it, and be all corny and sweet.
"When you propose to me happens to be one of those times when I have to hear those words."
"Fine," he heaved a sigh that let her know that he found this ridiculous and stupid. "I love you, Sakura. Will you please marry me?"
He got two points for that. One for admitting it (Eat that, Ino!), and one for the please. But seriously? He expected that to cut it?
"That sucked," she said after her contemplation of his grade. "Try again."
"What was wrong with that?" he snarled. "I said it."
"One, you didn't sound too happy to be saying it. Two, you and I know you can put it better. Elaborate, Sasuke-kun. Say why you love me. Talk about our history."
"Annoying woman," he grumbled. But he dropped to one knee and took her hand, looking up into her green eyes seriously.
"Sakura, I know I've made mistakes in the past. I've hurt you, called you annoying and useless, left you on a bench without really responding to your confession, avoided you for years, yelled at you, and tried to kill you. But, the truth is for years whenever I called you annoying, it wasn't making fun of you. I'm not good at being romantic, but in my own way, telling you that is my way of showing affection.
"And the truth is you're not useless and you never were. You're a very talented kunoichi, and you've really matured."
Sakura blinked rapidly, feeling tears press against her eyes as he made the longest (ninety-seven words at this point), most romantic speech she had ever heard from him.
For her.
Because she asked.
"In the course of protecting you, you chasing me, and just being with you, somehow I fell in love with you. You show me the better side of life, and you make me want to become a better man. So, I'm asking you, Haruno Sakura, to look past all of my stupidity and agree to spend the rest of your life with me. Because there's no one else I'd want to spend it with or have my children."
Silence reigned for a few seconds as she sniffed and blinked back tears. "Okay," she said quietly.
"What?" he blinked up at her, apparently unable to believe what she had just said.
"Yes, I will marry you, Sasuke-kun."
He stood and for the first time, she saw him truly smile (no, not a smirk. A smile!). Of course, they kissed then. They walked away from the hospital entrance hand-in-hand.
A minute later, Sakura realized one last glaring problem with Sasuke's proposal.
"You do realize that the ring goes on the other hand, Sasuke-kun?"
"Annoying," he growled.
"I love you too."
A/N: Aww, how fluffy and cute. And laughable too, I hope. Welcome to my latest group of oneshots. This collection is various Naruto pairings in humorous proposals. So expect some SasuSaku, NaruHina, and others. Even some crack pairings! But the main thing is going to be how to mess up the proposal! (Kiddies, don't do these things at home. They'll get you smacked silly.)
Since this isn't just one pairing, I won't be doing it for the LiveJournal challenge it came from. But I am using one of the alternate lists for the 30Kisses challenge for the themes.