We'll do it all
Everything
On our own
Devin had left the scene, washed Carrie's blood off her clothes and poured a glass of wine. Spencer hadn't asked to come in when he dropped her off. She hadn't invited him in. She didn't want to hear his explanation or his excuses. She was too raw, too hurt to listen to him.
We don't need
Anything
Or anyone
She had a CD she put on in these situations. The saddest songs she knew. She needed to cry. She needed to think. She needed to get her head straight, so she'd know if this was going to be possible to save. She didn't know what had gone on between Spencer and Carrie. All she knew was she felt betrayed, she felt let down.
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you like with me
And just forget the world
She was midway through the bottle of wine when he phone rang. She recognised Spencer's tone, and she turned the music up, slurping the glass. He had been to the hospital to check on Carrie. She was sure of that. She still didn't want to hear his explanations, his platitudes.
I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel
As she started on the second bottle of wine she heard the hammering on the door. She opened it to Spencer's guilt-ridden face. She let him in, before filling her wine glass. She stood behind the counter, just staring at him. He didn't seem to know where to start.
"Did you sleep with her?" she asked, starting the conversation.
Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough
"No, I didn't sleep with her" he replied. She heard the regret in his voice, but she was far too angry with him to let him off the hook that easily. She was beyond pissed. She was ready to use the wine glass to shatter him to pieces like he'd left her heart.
"Did you ever love me, Spencer?" she asked, not sure if she wanted to know.
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world
His silence told her the answer. Her tears started to fall anew. She grabbed an apple out of her fruit bowl and threw it at him. "I knew it! Was I just a diversion for you? Something warm in your bed until someone better came along?" She screamed, throwing another apple at him.
Forget what we're told
Before we get old
Show me a garden
That's bursting into life
"Devin, its not like that, it was never like that," he squeaked, holding his arms up against the barrage of fruit she threw at him. Her heart tore with every word out of his mouth, every broken dream that he had caused. She felt every night of worry about him, while he was on a case, or those nights when he was home where he just wouldn't contact her.
Lets waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads
"I loved you! Spencer! I thought that maybe, just MAYBE I was the girl for you! Clearly I'm not! Because at the first opportunity with another woman you jump on it, more precisely, you jump on her!" She screeched, not caring if she sounded crazy. He'd said he hadn't slept with Carrie, but Devin no longer knew what to believe.
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world
"Devin, I never meant to hurt you. There is something about…" She cut him off, Throwing her final piece of fruit to him. She walked over and started to push him out of her apartment. "You need to get out. Genuinely. I don't want to see you anymore. Spencer. If this is how you treat women, then she can have you. I thought you were better than that!" She yelled, slamming the door and sliding to the floor.
Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden
That's bursting into life
"Devin, I didn't mean to hurt you" He shouted back through the door. She didn't know how to reply as the sobs wracked her body. She hugged herself tightly as the tears streamed down her face.
"Just go away Spencer!" she shouted back. Trying to make her voice steady, sound as if she wasn't dying a little. As if her heart wasn't breaking.
All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes
They're all I can see
"I didn't want it to end this way, Dev! I promise you, I never slept with her. She was a wreck, I stayed the night at he place to make sure she was alright!" he shouted. But she knew she couldn't trust him now. She now understood why he hadn't answered her calls the night before. He'd been with Carrie.
"Spencer, we're over. Just go. Just GO!" She screeched. She heard his sigh from the other side of the door.
I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things
Will never change for us at all
After a few minutes she got up, and started picking up the detritus of fruit that was scattered all around her room. She locked the door, and took another sip of wine, before pulling out the box of chocolates she kept around for emergencies. As she started on them she thought about how she'd get over Spencer. How she'd pick up the pieces of her broken heart.
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you you lie with me
And just forget the world