MC: More Glee from me, this one is a Brittana and Faberry songfic for Be Your Everything by: Boy like Girls, I had to listen to this song on loop like 50 times because it was so perfect for these two lovely ships. I hope I do the song and them justice, if not someone else should use this song. It can be a bit AU concerning the Faberry part of it. I jump from different POVs and time frames a lot but it shouldn't be hard to follow, plus it's in second person in case that's not your thing. One last thing, Rachel takes Quinn in instead of Mercedes. (As it should have been)
Spoilers: A little bit of everything I guess
Disclaimer: If you sue me for owning Glee they'll take away my Pokémon and my laptop, and I'll be a sad panda. Do you really want me to be a sad Panda? I also don't own Landslide or Be Your Everything they belong to their respective artists. But the mistakes are mine.
Four letter word
But I don't have the guts to say it
'I love you' that's all she wants to hear, she wasn't asking you to shout your love to the rooftops, well maybe to Glee but they're nobody's anyway. She just wanted conformation that you did love her. But no you're a fucking coward once again, and now she's with Artie and your standing here thinking of what could've been. For god sakes all she wanted was to sing with you, not go the pride parade or something.
And this damn aching in your chest won't leave you the fuck alone, all you want to do is just curl up in a ball a cry, and then have her come and comfort you like she always does. But now everything is different all because you were a coward. You're so far in the closet you can't even come out to yourself. You laugh a little but there's no happiness in it, this laugh is full of heartache and loss.
The pain is right there in the back of your throat clawing at it wanting to escape, but you can't break-down here you have a reputation to protect. It's funny how your 'rep' is what got you here in the first place.
Another humorless laugh, then the mask is back.
You're back in acting mode, and right now your role is the supportive best friend. You have to put on a brave face for Brittney, or she'll think it's her fault when it's not. It's entirely yours. After tightening your ponytail you head to glee, hoping you can keep this charade up until it's over. You can't afford another crack in your armor.
But little do you know Brittney has left a gaping hole in it, right by your heart.
Smile 'til it hurts
let's not make it complicated
Sex isn't dating; at least that's what she told you. And you believed her because she's Santana and she's always been there for you since you were kids.
She made the whispers and the looks not hurt anymore. She was your shield and protected you from all the mean people in life, because she's your best friend. And then she kissed you, the summer before your freshmen year. She said since you were best friends you should practice kissing on each other, and you accepted it because when you kissed Santana you felt tingles afterward. The good kind, not the kind when you've been outside in the cold for too long and your whole body starts to tingle.
Then everything changed again the summer before sophomore year, you started sleeping together, it was the most amazing feeling in the world. Santana and you were connected; you've never felt so safe, so happy, and so complete with anyone before. Then you asked if this meant you were dating, and you could feel her tense behind you and then the rule sex isn't dating began. You still saw other people, dated, made-out, had sex, but it was never the same. At the end of the day it was always you and her, it was always you she came back to.
Yeah she had one night stands and flings, but it was always a use 'em and lose 'em things, but not with you. She always wanted you around, always wanted you to be the constant in her life.
But then everything changed again, and it was your entire fault. But it hurt, it hurt a lot. Seeing her with Puck, seeing her with Finn, seeing her with anyone who wasn't you. It hurt so much that you stopped seeing other people, but she didn't even notice.
But you would always smile, even when you didn't feel very happy. You did it because you knew at the moment you had to be the strong one because she wasn't ready. But when you started to use your painful unreal smile with her you had to make a change.
You told her you wanted to sing your duet assignment with her, you wanted to sing, Come to my Window because it reminded you of her and how she makes you feel. And you know she feels the same but she turns you down and sings with Mercedes, and the aching in your chest returned and you don't like it. So then you asked Artie out the next day, he was nice enough and was never mean to you, plus you were sure Santana would lay her claim on you as soon she found out. Instead everything became even more complicated and now all you feel is this hole where Santana used to be, because she's not anymore because you're with Artie, and you like him but it's not the same as when you're with Santana.
We've got a story
and I'm about to change the ending
It was simple, you were the popular cheerleader with the quarterback boyfriend, and she was the loser with an unbreakable will. You were supposed to hate each other, and you did, at least you thought you did.
In the beginning you didn't like her; you clung to the high school stereotyping and hated a girl, based on her looks, her clothes, and her status.
Actually it's ironic actually, you became the bully you used to hate when you were still Lucy, and honestly it makes you feel terrible.
But then the baby gate happened and you fell from grace, and there she was offering a tentative friendship and apologies for telling your secret.
'If you're going to hit me please refrain from hitting my nose.
'I'm not mad at you'
And it's true, you weren't and you had no idea why, you weren't supposed to get along and you should be mad because not only did she tell your secret but now you had nowhere else to stay. But then she came again and helped you again. She offered you her home, and honestly you thought she was crazy, letting a girl who bullied you for all of freshman and most of sophomore year come live with you? But you did and it was probably the best decision you made in your life.
The Berry house was the closest thing to home you had, it was warm and lively and had people who cared about you, the complete opposite of your house. You parents love you, you're sure, but at the same time they wanted the perfect little Christian girl. They were too into labels, but at the Berry's they didn't care all they wanted was for you to be comfortable.
It started off as friendship, it really did but as time went on, as you discovered the girl behind the lies, and the stereotypes, you started to fall for her and you panicked. You started distancing yourself again falling back into old habits, getting back with Finn, cheating on Sam.
Finn was your safe zone, your relationship was simple and there was never a risk for you to feel much for him. You wouldn't be as emotionally invested as it would be with Rachel. You were terrified of your feeling for Rachel; they were just so intense, so raw.
But then Finn broke her nose and she almost got a nose job, but you stopped her, you told her she was perfect and didn't need to change. But she didn't believe you so you sung I Feel Pretty/Unpretty with her in glee hoping that she would see she didn't need to change herself but she was still going to go through with it, using your nose because it was 'perfect'.
So you took the plunge and told her about Lucy, about middle school, the bullying, how you thought by changing yourself you would love yourself, and it worked for a while. You told her how you regret becoming the bully, making her feel like she wasn't good enough.
Then Lauren Zizes outed your secret to the whole school, and your armor cracked once again. You broke down in tears after school and she kept you together and listened to you cry and listened to your insecurities and how sometimes you still feel like you're not good enough, on the inside you still feel like Lucy, the scared little girl with no friends, and she held you, she held you and whispered sweet nothings and words of encouragement in your ear. And for once you felt like you could be enough, for her, for Rachel. And vowed to yourself that you would change your story, you wouldn't end up the cheerleader and the loser who hated each other, and you would become friends, best friends in fact. And maybe, if you're lucky, one day, you could be proud to say that Rachel Berry was your girlfriend.
But for now this was enough, just being in her presence, being comforted by her.
You're perfect for me
and more than just a friend
You didn't know what it was; you were never a social person. In fact most of the time people just annoy you, and you tell them that to their face. It's was earned you your title of Bitch and a place in the unholy trinity. Quinn was the leader; you were the bitch and Brittney…
Brittney was what kept you guys together. Let's be honest you and Quinn are best friends and you'll always have her back and all, but you guys butt heads like mortal enemies. If it wasn't for Brittney your pretty sure one of you would have killed the other.
When you first met Quinn you didn't like her, she was competition, she could easily take the top spot at the school, but Brittney liked her so you all hung out during cheer camp. Turns out she did take the top spot, but you and Britt were right there with her and it was okay.
When you first met Britt, it was like a breath of fresh air. It's something you could never forget, it was the beginning of everything, the smiles, the laughs, the tears, the lies, and still you never regret it.
It was a sunny spring afternoon and your parents decided to take you to the park afterschool. The eight year old version of yourself wasn't very excited because you had no one to hang out with, most of the kids in your class annoyed you, and the rest of them weren't worth your time.
So there you were wandering around the park not really interested in anything. So you stared to walk to the pond behind the park and that's when you heard it, a sniffle. A first you were confused, who would be back here by themselves? (Besides yourself of course) Another sniffle and a small sob made its way to your ears. You carefully made your way to the tall grass the pond hid behind and separated it so you could peek your head through. Then you saw her, the small blonde dancer and she was crying, you've never been good with words or feelings but you decide to try any way.
"What's wrong?" you ask
"No one wants to feed the ducks with me-"she sniffles "They said they'd catch my dumb germs"
"I'll feed them with you" the blonde instantly brightens
"You will" you nod you head and then you're being pulled into a bone crushing hug
"Thank you, thank you, thank you, my name is Brittney what your name?"
"Santana"
"That's a pretty name, come one San let's go feed the ducks"
You smile at the memory while the ache in your chest returns at the sight of her wheeling Artie into the Glee room smiling and laughing with him. Jealousy flares in you and you almost jump up and push him out of his chair and tell him to back off your girl. But you restrain yourself and just glare holes into the back of his head
So we can just stop pretending now
gotta let you know somehow
You snag
You fucking sang with her and Miss. Holiday and you know what?
It felt good, it felt good to get this feeling out in the open somehow, and you hoped she understood. You hoped she'd understood how hard this is for you but how you're trying for her, you're trying and you're growing into that person she can be proud of. Into the girl she thinks you are instead of the coward you really are.
Well, I've been afraid of changin'
'Cause I've built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Even children get older
And I'm getting older too
And I'm getting older too
Oh, take my love, take it down
Climb a mountain and turn around
You sung your heart out here and you felt the tears sting your eyes because everything is changing so fast and it's suffocating, and you can't breathe. You're struggling to keep afloat and keep up but you're just not ready yet. And you look at her and you know she understands now, she knows you're not ready to admit this thing that's been blooming between you two, and you're thankful that she knows you so well, you're thankful that you have her in your life.
You're tired of pretending because you feel so tired all the time from lying, from running, from pretending. And you're getting older, and you know that you can't keep acting like a scared little girl. You have to face yourself and admit that you are the L word, but you're still not ready to admit it to yourself yet. So you hope she'll hold on just a little longer for you.
But right now she knows you're trying and for now that's enough.
We used to say
that we would always stick together
"We'll be best friends forever right San?" you asked one day back in middle school
"Of course Britt nothing can take me away from you. Who else will go all Lima Heights on those idiots at school when they mess with you? You're stuck with me for life." She smiled and linked you're pinkies together, your own special way of holding hands.
And at the moment you were content; you laid your head on her shoulder and thought about forever with your best friend. Now memories like that hurt because she's not there anymore, ever since you got together with Artie she's been avoiding you. Never wanting to be alone with you for too long because your unresolved issues are just hanging there over your heads and it's too much for both of you, so she leaves you alone. And at night sometimes you cry and think to yourself, 'what happened to forever?'
But who's to say
that we could never last forever
It's crazy; you're both from opposite sides of the social hierarchy. So why do you find yourself agreeing with her.
It could never work between the two of you, but why do you want to take the risk.
You've always been intrigued by Quinn, no matter how horrible she's been to you. Always chasing after her, offering her a helping hand whenever she was down, picking up the pieces and putting her back together again. And she always lets you, in those moments of weakness you see the real Quinn, the one who's afraid of rumors, failure, disappointment, and not being perfect. In these moments she's the most beautiful, the most down to earth, and the most real.
When you offered her to stay at your house when Finn put her out you were fully expecting to be shot down, but she didn't say no. She cried and thanked you and said yes, and even though you probably shouldn't have, you felt a little flutter in your heart from her vulnerability.
Things were looking up, you guys were actually getting along and were friends, best friends actually, but then something happened. Quinn started distancing herself from you, and then she cheated on Sam and started dating Finn again.
You didn't understand you thought you were past this, you thought you were leaving your mistakes in the past and moving forward, you thought she wanted-
You swallow hard
You thought she wanted, you.
Maybe you were wrong, but then you find her sobbing in her room a month later after Sue's sisters' funeral, and you automatically run in the room to comfort her.
You don't even have to talk the broken words come tumbling out of her mouth through her sobs.
Finn broke up with her after the funeral- insensitive asshole
She's sorry she pushed you away- a sigh of relief
She's tired of lying to herself- lying about what
You don't even get a moment to think about it because her lips are on yours and the kiss is desperate, it's salty from her tears, it's sloppy, and it's all you've ever wanted.
"I love you Rachel and I'm tired of pretending I don't and running from how you make me feel, will you go out with me?" Then she's looking at you with those hazel eyes that always pull you in with love and caring swirling in them and you can feel yourself swoon.
Then you're nodding yes and she has the happiest smile you've ever seen, and then you're kissing and it feels right. And even though you know you have a long way to go you want this feeling to last for forever, and you just want to hang on to Quinn a bit longer cause you're afraid the if you let go it'll have been a dream and you don't think you could take that kind of heartache. So you whisper 'I love you too' in between kisses and spend the rest of the night in her bed cuddling, sharing chaste sweet kisses, and just holding on to this new feeling of love and security.
Girl, got a question
could you see yourself with somebody else?
"Hey Rach"
"Hmm"
"Where do you see yourself in 10 years?" You ask one night while you guys are watching funny girl for the millionth time.
"In New York of course"
"Of course" you agree
"We'll live in a two story house and I'll be starring in the revival of Wicked and you'll be an up and coming script writer while auditioning for new movies. And we'll have a dog named sparks and then I'll carry our first baby girl who'll we'll name Harmony Beth Berry-Fabray." By the time she's finished speaking you have tears in your eyes and a loving smile on your face.
"You've been thinking about this a lot huh?"
"You know I like to plan ahead"
"It's nice to know I'm in your future"
"I couldn't see myself with anyone" you share a soft loving kiss and when you break apart you can't help but mess with her a little.
"Berry-Fabray huh, why not Fabray-Berry"
"Obviously my surname should be first because it goes first in alphabetical order" you just chuckle and snuggle into her side more turning your head back to the screen. But your mind wasn't on the movie; it was in a faraway place filled with New York lights, pet, babies, and the love of your life.
'Cause I'm on a mission
And I don't wanna share
'Today's the day' you chant to yourself. You're ready to admit to Brittney that you love her. It took you a long time until you were able to admit to yourself that you're in love with your best friend, and now you can tell her what she's always wanted to hear from you. You just hope that she didn't give up on you yet. You spot her down the hall at her locker so you take a deep breath and approach her.
She can tell you have something important to say so she gives you her full attention and you let your feelings spill out to her in the form of words, words that always wanted to come out but wouldn't because you were a coward. But not anymore you're taking a stand for what you want, and for once you're going to fight for something that makes you happy.
"What I've realized, is why I'm such a bitch all the time. I'm a bitch because I'm angry. I'm angry because I have all of these feelings. Feelings for you, that I'm afraid of dealing with because I'm afraid of dealing with the consequences. I wanna be with you, but I'm afraid of the talks and the looks. I'm so afraid of what everyone will say behind my back, still I have to accept, that I love you. I love you and I don't want to be with Sam or Finn, or any of those other guys. I just want you. Please say you love me back, please".
You poured your heart out to her, you told her all the things that took you so long to accept, the things she always wanted to hear and then she didn't say it back. She didn't fucking say it back. She says if she weren't with Artie she would totally be with you. What the actual fuck, since when did some guy become more important to her than you?
She tries to hug you but you but you push her back, your world is collapsing, your chest is constricting, and you need to get out of here before you do something you'll regret. So you run, you start running away from her again because this rejection is too much for you to handle.
I want you all to myself right now
I just wanna scream it out
You messed up, you know you did, you should've said I love you back. It's not that you don't love her, you do, it's just that you love Artie too and it wouldn't be right to lead either of them on.
You knew you messed up when Santana told you she was dating Karofsky you knew she was hiding again. And you were so happy she was being truthful to herself and now she's back to square one. So you decided to give her a little push back in the right direction. The lady gaga assignment was the perfect opportunity so you went up to her to show her your shirt. Then when she showed you hers you frowned and pulled out the T-shirt you made for her and you saw the fear in her eyes was back.
You were mad at yourself for making her insecure again, but you were even madder at her for back tracking. So you walked away from her and once you were out of sight you let the tears slip and let the pain in your chest take over and you cry because you're afraid that you'll never have Santana.
You thought she was ready, you just want to be able to yell at the top of your lungs, 'I'M IN LOVE WITH SANTANA LOPEZ' even it is just between the two of . You just want her to be able to embrace who she is and not feel the need to hide anymore. But first you have to end things with Artie because you just want her and no one else, and you have to get her away from Karofsky.
But for right now you're going to cry and let the pain out.
No matter what you do, yeah,
Oh, I'll be there for you
You ran down the hallways searching for Santana, you couldn't find her anywhere. The news just got to you and you were angry, no you were infuriated, you know he probably didn't mean it but Finn outed Santana and if that wasn't bad enough he said no one at school would care.
Obviously he doesn't know anything, it not just the school it's everyone in the state, this is Ohio can he really believe that a lot of people won't have a problem. Plus doesn't he know anything about Rachel's dads? And people said you were dumb.
Finally you decide to check the cheerios' locker room and you find Santana sitting in the shower furthest from the back. You don't say anything you just sit and bring her into your body. At first she tenses a little, but then she's snuggling into you crying her heart out, and right then there's nowhere else you'd rather be. Just being here for Santana, keeping her together is enough for you. Cause you love this girl and seeing her destroyed is killing you. She's usually the one that's strong, the one to hold you when you cried, but now the roles are reversed and you're going to do your best to protect her.
Eventually you convince her to go do your performance with the troubletones, and in your opinion she and Mercedes killed it. But you could still see she was hurting by the way she kept glancing to you during the song. Her eyes were so sad and desperate like if you left she would crack and become irreparable.
After the song when she slaps Finn you think he deserved it, he forced her out of the closet when she wasn't ready. Of course he tries to justify it but that's just not something you do to somebody.
And as your laying in her room with her curled into your side eyes puffy, tear stained face, peacefully sleeping; you can't how people can say Santana is a bad person. Everyone says she's so horrible but she isn't. She's this amazing person and no one recognizes it because she always has her guard up and all people see is a bitch, but you see someone who is gentle, caring, dependable, and strong.
You wrap your arms around her a little tighter and press a kiss to her temple then drift off to sleep yourself.
And every time you close your eyes
I will be by your side
You won't admit this to anyone but you love cuddling with Britt. It's nice that you can let your guard down with her. And when you've had particularly stressful day when you lay next to Brittney everything else just fades away. And when you wake to a sleeping Britt with her arms wrapped protectively around you, you don't know how you could have denied her this whole time. This right here is love this feeling of wholeness, happiness, the feeling of being safe and protected. You're so tired of fighting with yourself because you're just making yourself unhappy. Does it suck that Hudson outed you yesterday. But with Brittney by your side you think you can handle all the stares, all the whispers, all the talking. First you need to tell your parents so they hear it from you first. But for now being here with B is enough.
'Cause every time you make me sing
Baby I will be your everything
It was a long road for you and Brittney. So much went down with you guys in the last four years but this was your year to get it right. Now you were out to everyone at school and at home and even though it was stressful at first Brittney stayed with you through everything.
Now you and Britt are official and you've never been so happy before, no more denying yourself or Brittney, no more hiding, no more lies, just you and your girl against the world.
You're so happy you even started singing sappy love songs to her in glee. And Q and apparently together now too, secretly you're happy for them, they deserve each other no matter how sappy they are.
"Gross Q, why don't you and the midget take that somewhere else" Quinn just rolls her eyes at you and continues nuzzling into Rachel's neck, while she giggled.
"San be nice, I think their cute" Brittney pouts. And who are you to disagree with your girl. You peck her on the lips and entwine your hands.
"They may be cute but we're hot" you whisper in her ear. You see lust flash in her eyes for a second, but then it's gone. Then Mr. Schue walks in late, as usual and starts the lesson.
I'll be your shelter
I'll be your storm
She took you in when you needed a home, showed you kindness and forgiveness that you didn't deserve and gave you her heart. You don't know how you got so lucky to be with Rachel, but you won't let this chance go to waste. You'll love her with every fiber of you being and prove to whatever deity up there that you deserve this gift of love, and perfectness. Your own personal angle wrapped into one small cute package known as Rachel Berry.
But I'll make you shiver
I'll keep you warm
Santana invokes so many different feeling in you that don't really make sense. Like shivering and getting goose bumps when it's not cold, or being able to warm you up with just a touch even if it's freezing outside. But you love it because you know this is the type of forever love that people talk about and see in the movies. You know you're lucky to have her and wouldn't give her up for anything.
Whatever weather
Baby I'm yours
"You know we're really lucky" you say one day to Quinn. You're in glee and Berry and Britt are singing a love song to you and Q. It's been six months and Brittney and you are still going strong.
"Why" she asks
"Because we have the most amazing girls in our lives who love the hell out of us" A soft smile spreads on Quinn's face
"Yeah but we love them just as much. I don't know what we did to get such forgiving girlfriends."
"We must have done something pretty kick-ass in our past life" you quip, Quinn just laughs
"Yeah probably"
Be your forever,
"I love you Rachel"
"I love you too Quinn"
"Forever and ever"
"Yeah, till death do us part"
Be your fling
"I'm glad we're going out exclusively San"
"Me too Britt"
"Before when we were just friends with benefits it hurt so much to see you with those other people"
"Britt-"
"But I always knew you loved me"
"How"
"Because at the end of the day you always came back to me"
Baby I
Baby I will
Baby I will be your everything
MC: whew and that's it tell me how I did for my first time in the glee fandom. Please review and favorite if you enjoyed, because reviews are love, and we have enough hate in the world.
MC over and out