Usually I hope that the reader recognizes all reminiscences. That is true for SM or Slayers fandoms. But Wish just ain't SailorMoon and isn't introduced to every household. So I feel obliged to make some notes about the Wish part of the crossover. Both demons in SM and angels in Wish are called after minerals. But while in SM the stones are named in English variant, in Wish they are Japanese. CLAMP's angels are born from eggs growing on trees oO', and have two forms - chibi and full-size.
Angel
Paradise thickets. The air is warm and fresh and flagrant like grass, and the grass is soft like air. A perfect place to sleep, to the sleeping mind of angel Jedaito, who was snoring soundly and wasn't going to awaken any time soon. In his dream he watched ballet of myriads of butterflies, and the vision was so clear that even in his reality layer moths sprayed the locality. Paradise birds were trying to snack them, but their beaks would just click in empty air. No dice, though. Even in Heaven there is always a friend who will shake you in the most interesting moment of your dream.
"Jeda-chan! Wake up, you feathered sloth!"
"Jus' a momt, Okyo-kun..."
"I've heard that twenty times in the last hour already! Can you do anything fast?!" it would be an underestimation to say that his comrade Okyo-'sapphire' was losing patience. He just hadn't it at all around Jedaito.
"Yep, I get tired quickly".
"That's it! By the way, Cherubim-dono ordered you to clean up the bush over there. Where have you disappeared?"
"I've cleared off. And early rising ain't listed among the commandments", and the angel called after jadeite mineral rolled to the other side.
"Don't add ignorance to your idleness. It's not a commandment, but a sin!"
"I am not lazy, I'm very busy".
"Really?"
"Yep. I'm building. I'm building castles in the sky, with pillars, pediments, bas-reliefs, turrets... The whole cities!"
"Oh, Jeda-chan... It's just your illusions. And stop transmitting it all around, the tastes of the others may differ from yours".
"But Okyo-kun! How can you say such things! A good friend you are! I put my heart into it. What's bad with following our Father in the acts of creation, as the reverent Professor noted in his work Mythopoeia? You see, I am not ignorant! How can you tell for sure that my fantasy won't take place in the whole Creation once..." but when Jedaito glanced at skeptic stern face of his friend he halted.
"My dear", the elder angel spoke after a dramatic silence. "My dear scribe, have you heard a saying, 'don't spoil others' deeds with yours'? Do you agree with it?"
"Y-yep", mumbled Jedaito and shrank into his chibi-form. Such an infant surprise happened to him from time to time yet.
"Then I inform you that you've missed the start of your shift on duty by the Tree of Angels, and one Angel Egg has fallen in your absence!"
Jeda-chan looked like he was going to fall at once too. "W-which?"
"The amber-tinted one... Hey, don't faint so untimely, listen! It fell but didn't crash! Archangel Hisui was passing by and managed to catch the egg, so it got just a wee little crack which will turn into some alternation of fate. I wonder if you get off as lightly at the report to Cherubim-dono".
"AAAAAAAAA..." and Jadeito blacked out at last.
Okyo sighed. "Kami-sama, do you hear my plea... One-two-three-four, four-three-two-one, connection check. What should we do with him?.. No, Cherubim-dono doesn't know either..."
Deep in the centre of the Earth, in a little cavern furnitured only with a birth, an armchair and a drawer, demon Jadeite, previously angle Jedaito, stood and scratched his head in confusion.
He was still trying to comprehend how he got in such a mess. He had just slept and dreamed, and all of a sudden they wake, chastise, bring out a verdict... to mandate him into a volunteer trip. On the prop that standing on duty by the Tree of angels was too easy a task to wake and develop his angelic essence. And it was sleeping so serenely! And by the permission of Kami-sama Cherubim-dono had sent the poor angel to the back of beyond, that is, to a back country province of the Underworld, with an order to be a good demon for a while, to realize what it means to be a good angel. No spying, not drafting, no sabotage - just being a good demon. Jedaito, now Jadeite, couldn't even understand that word combination - and they already gave him a legend, crammed him into the hollow of the world Tree (also called the Tree of Angels in its upper part) and washed him down through capillaries to the roots (proudly named 'the Tree of Demons') to be born from a tuber lake all demons are. Here he was now, in his (from now on) room, in his clothes, having just five minutes before reporting to Queen Beryl, the governess of a small infernal country in the Nether dimension.
"Well, looks like a real crap", Jad shivered and observed himself from aside. In an imaginary mirror a very frightened Jad shivered too. What should he do? what should he do when he couldn't do a thing properly? Right was Okyo-kun, 'It's just illusions.
This word, sinuous and strange, didn't go away, but stayed, swelled in to a smooth and solid idea.
Illusions! He could share his fantasies! If the Queen wanted to see one more vicious demon, let her see him.
Jad beamed at his mental mirror. His reflection leered in a serpent manner.
The newest demon made some more faces and went to the throne hall.
Queen Beryl was almost content for once. Her new higher demon wasn't competing with her in hair length, wasn't making eyes, wasn't levitating arrogantly, but stood in tremor and sombre resolution, as a demon should stand before his Mistress.
Accidentally, Jadeite need not illusions yet. He trembled with cold which seeped from the D point at North Pole, but was resolute not to chatter his teeth. As for somberness, he solved the mystery of the ever vile mood of demons. What else would ya feel if you have to report to your boss every day at 5 am?
'Seems a proper demon', Beryl thought. 'And how are your combat skills doing, dearie'
She nodded to a youma to come forth. By Jadeite's side sprang up a two-meter-high girl resembling a jerboa with tiger stripes, just instead of a tassel her tail ended with a sharp-edged bone rhomb, which was cutting air with a hiss.
"Beat her, and you will be the fourth of Shitennou", Her Majesty screeched. The youma turned to the General- - or mincemeat-to-be. Her cutting tooth glittered. In spite of the dire-strait situation Jad smiled - in a way his opponent reminded him Usyagi. He focused on the image of the divine rabbit messenger, transposed it onto the youma and improvised an appropriate prayer. 'Though what I see is not imprinted in the Ecclesiast, let me share my vision with you alone.
The youma was rather surprised when she whipped her tail again and didn't notice the rhomb flashing by. She looked back at her posteriors and found a fluffy tassel instead of the lethal weapon. Well, and the rest of her body appeared white, not tiger-striped. She flailed her short white paws in dismay and attempted to scream, but only a thistle flower escaped her tiny mouth.
The spectators were very surprised too, when the formidable warrior didn't halve the seemingly helpless newcomer and shouted and fled in a random direction instead.
"Not bad!" the Queen screeched twice louder than usually to beat the whispers in the hall. "You are accepted to the post. go to Southern borders to crush the rebel of nomad armadillos. What are your plans?"
"Please let me use the weapons of mass imagination extermination", Jad bowed. The game seemed not too difficult.
oO'?"You have the permission"... Beryl was so confused that she said it quietly.
Murmurs in the throne hall, in canteens, washrooms and other public places wouldn't calm down.
"Have ya heard, the new General dealt with the rebels in three hours time".
"What three hours?! in five minutes! And his troops were killing off the captives for those three hours".
"He'll go far. Ya must take chance and steal him before others do it. With whom he sleeps, dearie?"
"Not with whom, hon. With what. With a book. New one every week. His chambermaid told me".
"Yuck! How does he manage THAT? No, I'd better not picture it, it's some overdemonic perversion".
"You say. Lord Zoisite is a monster of monsters, but even he's not that creepy".
"Here, the Fiery One, they tell, tried to seduce him and wheedle out his tactics and strategies and such stuff".
"So wha. The fresher did his vicious thing and didn't tell a damn?"
"Nooo, far worse! He didn't even glance at the Copperhead!"
"Really? And wha did Zois -"
"'Wha'... Got back without a snack pissed off like Beryl at that time of a month, and scorched the 35th Regiment. Slowly".
"Woow"...
Jadeite sprawled in an imaginary armchair by an imaginary fireplace in his quarters, with a book on his lap. The terror of his first victory was fading. The ex-angel had just wanted to make a promo action of Dark Kingdom among the rebels and presented them their primeval tribal customs as a cloud at the sun of DK feudalism. How could he know that clouds were very rare and precious source of water there? The nomads had raised the armor plates covering their bodies to stretch the surface of condensation, and then the youmas from Jadeite's retinue threw all their missiles with great precision. The commander had barely enough time to create an illusion of a victorious smile before his breakfast called for freedom.
But his underlings looked so happy... Jadeite didn't understand that, as many other things. Eg, what did Lord... Zoisite, if he remembered it right, come for before the 'battle'? And why he seemed upset?
Jad realized that he had no notion about 'demons'. So he gathered all kinds of books and busied himself with making abstracts, trying not to pay attention to the curious glances from the keyhole and door chinks. One article on demonic features, written by a human (2), attracted him most of all. It described demons as long-living, supremely beautiful, cruel perverted creatures possessing rebirth ability, tragic fate, physical needs and desires and astral bodies, kiddish attitudes and promiscuity in sex. He decided that people, as outsiders, have better field of view, and glanced to the mirror, which had already taken permanent residence in his chambers. Immortality and rebirth, physical perfection and astral body are intrinsic in both angels and demons but seem strange to people. Tragic circumstances were lavished upon him by both his heavenly and infernal bosses. He was accused of childishness not once at home. And since psychology of angels and demons differs, his normal state might seem a deviation and even cruelty. But at the chapter on earthly pleasures he blushed, paled, but couldn't think out (and moreover, to do) anything, as merely perforce his physiological complement (or lack thereof) he couldn't be subject or object of sexual relationship. At last he decided to overlook that issue. No one suspected an angel in him so far, after all, maybe he would be spared any legend-threatening tests.
An echo of teleport snapped him out of drowsing. Right in the middle of the chamber General Nephrite stood, his tunic unhooked, a half-empty bottle in a hand and two empty bottles in the pockets.
"Jeddy snookums, so that's what you're doing with books! And I thought... Well, if ya not busy let's go in for adultery! By the fire, on a bear hide... Oops, ya don' have bear hide... Don' care, soon ya'll stop noticin' that floor's hard n cold".
"What do you mean?"
"Guess something mean", the intruder smirked.
"No thanks, tuck your offer..." Jad halted, as he still didn't get used to swear, "where the sun does not shine".
"Yay, that's what I gonna do!"
Jadeite made such a face as if he chewed a whole lemon, but Nephrite was in a resolute and playful mood. "Why such terror and fear?
We're nor angels, my dear!
Why can't we spend some time to amend that fact that no woman is near?"
and he plunged at his colleague. The latter staggered aside in dismay, forgetting that he was sitting in the armchair. Sure he toppled over, and a leg of that piece of furniture met Neph's head. The hit and alcohol combined their efforts and sent the Star Lord to the Land of Dreams.
Jad crawled from under the armchair and looked at the demon, who slept like a baby, and looked equally cute. The insolent leer faded, features softened, the hand with the bottle froze halfway to the mouth... If he called mom, Jadeite wouldn't be surprised at all. The ex-angel watched him intensely, and his thoughts waned one by one, until a single desire was left,
"Wanna home, and to sleep".
And then someone knocked at the door.
Jadeite sprung to his feet, picked Nephrite up by the collar but in a second he realized that it wouldn't be wise to wake the trouble, so he dropped his colleague back, rushed in terror to the wardrobe, but it was already stuffed with grey uniforms, which reminded him that dark generals and lords do not seek refuge in wardrobes.
He willed Neph into a form of a bear hide and went to open the door.
"Who's there?"
"Youma Tetis, the chief Fraulein of the Queen".
Behind the door a cute dark-blue-haired girl stood. Jad found her hairstyle nice and was somewhat puzzled by her dress - why didn't it fall down? The collar had start and finish at the bust level, at the widest latitude. The ex-angel wouldn't recollect the word "decollete". And not a trace of sleeves or straps. The skirt was almost decently heel-long if not for the side slits up to the waist. They were so wide that that the very skirt consisted just of two ribbons in front and rear and was practically invisible in the shadow of her snow-white hips.
Now those hips moved towards Jadeite, forced him off to the fire-place and lounged on the bear hide so that the fire was casting most appetizing gleam on her bumps while the hollows stayed in most tempting shadows. The youma watched the general silently, and he said the first thing that came into his head, "Are you cold, Ms Tetis?"
"No, my blood is hot, and you must be freezing in our moderate climate after the heat of victorious Southern campaign... I've come here to warm you..."
The last unsolved article of demonic nature loomed over Jad to the full extend. While he didn't even know what was expected of him.
A gleam on her skin flashed into a sunspot of insight. If she waited for something definite then he needed just to visualize her fantasies. He plucked his courage and squatted beside her. She leant forward to him, and Jadeite pointed his finger to her forehead. 'Sleep, and may your foretaste be your dream.
The youma lay down with a dreamy smile, closed her eyes and soon was shivering and purring contently.
'I wonder what I've suggested her.
Of course it's not fair to hack others' dreams, but curiosity won. Jad put his hand on her temple. 'Let me take my place in your vision for a moment '
...In front of him Tetis, in things but without clothes, was spread on some metal device not unlike some metal device of post-modernist style. With mixed fear and longing she looked at the object of her intentions. Jadeite felt that his mental projection dropped one hand, with a lighter, and raised another one, with a whip, and -
The general fainted. Tetis kept snoring, and no one could notice that Nephrite was caught in the aura of her dream too. Fortunately, the dark lord woke up sooner than his guests and managed to throw them away into teleport. He had mastered that spell the other day.
The Star Lord could hardly grovel through the dim dreams. His throat demanded beer, his body - to get it down from the roof of his mansion (Jadeite wasn't very good at teleportation yet). His biography was yearning for filling the gaps. To start with, he had got drunk the day before because in the Kingdom there was no person left with whom he could have sex safely but didn't had; then he remembered about the new general, then... the picture blurred. Something had definitely happened. Kinda Nephritewas below, and kinda had breasts.
The Second General was abhorred at the thought and put the new colleague to the list of inaccessible targets.
The triumphal report of Lord Jadeite was celebrated with a massive gathering in the throne hall. No banquets, no fireworks and bank holidays. But youma enjoyed any possibility to crowd and chat.
"You saw, gals, Lord Intoxicated cringes away from the Lord Mysterious when he got back from reporting? And our Star-Stoned would snap back even at Her Screechesty!"
"Yeah, what kind of fruit is that guy..."
"See, how Tetis is gawkin' at him? Just melting out of her dress".
"Yep, I thought she'd cum right now".
"Sure she will - at his study if not here".
"You think so?"
"Duh! Tetis is a material girl, her dreams come out of practice".
"How'd ya know?"
"Whee, we're from the same incubator so we meet in a canteen and have some mushroom booze and chat from time to time".
"So? What she tells of the new lord?"
"Nothin'! On my word, she was telling me everythin' before, even", the youma glanced around cautiously, "even about the despotess in bed".
"Really?!"
"SILENCE!" in that tender loving way Beryl hushed all the talking in the hall. "Now, my servants, the new task. One of you, Lords, must gather energy from the Middle World for resurrection of King Metallia!"
"Me!" Jad sprang forward. The audience gasped. It was an unsurpassed perversion - to refuse the well-deserved 2-week vacation after the Queen's praise.
"Approved!" Beryl snapped just as quickly, unless he would change his mind.
'An angel of an officer', she thought.
'Is it really that noticeable?' he shivered.
It was really nice to see the sun, even separated by many ether layers, to listen to birds. Jadeite had nothing against the Sailor Warriors. They were cute girls, and only their fuku reminded unnervingly of Tetis' dress. Poor Tetis.
As for Tuxedo Mask, Jad padded him good in the airport almost with pleasure. Not only that coward was attacking from ambush and hiding behind the girls in real fight, but also he nourished most indecent thoughts about SailorMoon. And she was underage! And his speeches... Even the ex-angel felt like throwing at those proclamations, and what common people must have experienced!
Alas, the Fourth General couldn't fake inability to overpower a bunch of human children any longer. Jad watched in anguish the schoolgirls running across the landing field.. 'Guess I'm a bad demon - I still cannot kill' Senshi had been eluding his illusions with rare luck, and what else could he do? 'Here either you kill or you are... I-can-not. Me? What will I lose anyway? I'd just return home, maybe receive a reprimand - but Kami-sama will forgive me! And find an easier task.
He had thought it over not once, and now the stage of failure was set. He had learned to calculate his actions in long advance. He had foreseen that the Queen would watch over him, that his attempts to justify himself would anger her further. One thing he didn't expect - that instead of "Fireball!" she would shout, "Eternal Sleep!"
'Shit!' he swore for the first time in his life, if even just mentally. Shit, indeed. Sleep is not death, and his soul would stay here forever.
Ice, cold, and immobility. It seemed, the world didn't exist anymore, neither celestial nor nether nor middle one. And once he deemed the sun to be too hot, and had been hiding in tree shadows to doze. Well, his silly dream came true, he was sleeping in a cool place. Jadeite heard or saw nothing, and felt no pain - because only cold remained, piercing, dense and sticky like a gel, and hard like a crystal, it was pain, light, sound and the only reality. 'Cold, cold, cold... it's cold, Kami-sama! - no, I'd better imagine something else', he thought limply, and recollected the beaches of Euphrates, brought them up in memory and wished, wished hard... The cold was stronger.
And from the almost-illusory past came a phrase once read. 'If you cannot change the circumstances, change your attitude to them'.
Jedaito was happy to have his favorite occupation, he was sleeping and seeing a dream, just one dream, but it was so bright and vivid, and exquisite! As if it were 40 C hot, and he dove into a mountain lake, so clear that he could see its crystal bottom, and blessedly cold.
High above a cherubim was kneeling beside a magnificent tree and trying to look bashfully down and reverently up at the same time.
"Kami-sama, maybe it was a wrong decision? The second one is not coming back already!"
"Well", some lime flowers with a message fell down, "He is quite happy now, don't you think?"
"Y-yes..."
"And no one else will suffer from his laxity here, right?"
"Y-yes..."
"Do you still doubt the divine wisdom?"
"Y-ye- Oh no, I mean, no!"
Oware
-
(1) a poem by JRRTolkien
(2) one fan article on Dark Kingdom demons. Verochka, "On Demonic and Human Nature of Demons"
Angel
Paradise thickets. The air is warm and fresh and flagrant like grass, and the grass is soft like air. A perfect place to sleep, to the sleeping mind of angel Jedaito, who was snoring soundly and wasn't going to awaken any time soon. In his dream he watched ballet of myriads of butterflies, and the vision was so clear that even in his reality layer moths sprayed the locality. Paradise birds were trying to snack them, but their beaks would just click in empty air. No dice, though. Even in Heaven there is always a friend who will shake you in the most interesting moment of your dream.
"Jeda-chan! Wake up, you feathered sloth!"
"Jus' a momt, Okyo-kun..."
"I've heard that twenty times in the last hour already! Can you do anything fast?!" it would be an underestimation to say that his comrade Okyo-'sapphire' was losing patience. He just hadn't it at all around Jedaito.
"Yep, I get tired quickly".
"That's it! By the way, Cherubim-dono ordered you to clean up the bush over there. Where have you disappeared?"
"I've cleared off. And early rising ain't listed among the commandments", and the angel called after jadeite mineral rolled to the other side.
"Don't add ignorance to your idleness. It's not a commandment, but a sin!"
"I am not lazy, I'm very busy".
"Really?"
"Yep. I'm building. I'm building castles in the sky, with pillars, pediments, bas-reliefs, turrets... The whole cities!"
"Oh, Jeda-chan... It's just your illusions. And stop transmitting it all around, the tastes of the others may differ from yours".
"But Okyo-kun! How can you say such things! A good friend you are! I put my heart into it. What's bad with following our Father in the acts of creation, as the reverent Professor noted in his work Mythopoeia? You see, I am not ignorant! How can you tell for sure that my fantasy won't take place in the whole Creation once..." but when Jedaito glanced at skeptic stern face of his friend he halted.
"My dear", the elder angel spoke after a dramatic silence. "My dear scribe, have you heard a saying, 'don't spoil others' deeds with yours'? Do you agree with it?"
"Y-yep", mumbled Jedaito and shrank into his chibi-form. Such an infant surprise happened to him from time to time yet.
"Then I inform you that you've missed the start of your shift on duty by the Tree of Angels, and one Angel Egg has fallen in your absence!"
Jeda-chan looked like he was going to fall at once too. "W-which?"
"The amber-tinted one... Hey, don't faint so untimely, listen! It fell but didn't crash! Archangel Hisui was passing by and managed to catch the egg, so it got just a wee little crack which will turn into some alternation of fate. I wonder if you get off as lightly at the report to Cherubim-dono".
"AAAAAAAAA..." and Jadeito blacked out at last.
Okyo sighed. "Kami-sama, do you hear my plea... One-two-three-four, four-three-two-one, connection check. What should we do with him?.. No, Cherubim-dono doesn't know either..."
Deep in the centre of the Earth, in a little cavern furnitured only with a birth, an armchair and a drawer, demon Jadeite, previously angle Jedaito, stood and scratched his head in confusion.
He was still trying to comprehend how he got in such a mess. He had just slept and dreamed, and all of a sudden they wake, chastise, bring out a verdict... to mandate him into a volunteer trip. On the prop that standing on duty by the Tree of angels was too easy a task to wake and develop his angelic essence. And it was sleeping so serenely! And by the permission of Kami-sama Cherubim-dono had sent the poor angel to the back of beyond, that is, to a back country province of the Underworld, with an order to be a good demon for a while, to realize what it means to be a good angel. No spying, not drafting, no sabotage - just being a good demon. Jedaito, now Jadeite, couldn't even understand that word combination - and they already gave him a legend, crammed him into the hollow of the world Tree (also called the Tree of Angels in its upper part) and washed him down through capillaries to the roots (proudly named 'the Tree of Demons') to be born from a tuber lake all demons are. Here he was now, in his (from now on) room, in his clothes, having just five minutes before reporting to Queen Beryl, the governess of a small infernal country in the Nether dimension.
"Well, looks like a real crap", Jad shivered and observed himself from aside. In an imaginary mirror a very frightened Jad shivered too. What should he do? what should he do when he couldn't do a thing properly? Right was Okyo-kun, 'It's just illusions.
This word, sinuous and strange, didn't go away, but stayed, swelled in to a smooth and solid idea.
Illusions! He could share his fantasies! If the Queen wanted to see one more vicious demon, let her see him.
Jad beamed at his mental mirror. His reflection leered in a serpent manner.
The newest demon made some more faces and went to the throne hall.
Queen Beryl was almost content for once. Her new higher demon wasn't competing with her in hair length, wasn't making eyes, wasn't levitating arrogantly, but stood in tremor and sombre resolution, as a demon should stand before his Mistress.
Accidentally, Jadeite need not illusions yet. He trembled with cold which seeped from the D point at North Pole, but was resolute not to chatter his teeth. As for somberness, he solved the mystery of the ever vile mood of demons. What else would ya feel if you have to report to your boss every day at 5 am?
'Seems a proper demon', Beryl thought. 'And how are your combat skills doing, dearie'
She nodded to a youma to come forth. By Jadeite's side sprang up a two-meter-high girl resembling a jerboa with tiger stripes, just instead of a tassel her tail ended with a sharp-edged bone rhomb, which was cutting air with a hiss.
"Beat her, and you will be the fourth of Shitennou", Her Majesty screeched. The youma turned to the General- - or mincemeat-to-be. Her cutting tooth glittered. In spite of the dire-strait situation Jad smiled - in a way his opponent reminded him Usyagi. He focused on the image of the divine rabbit messenger, transposed it onto the youma and improvised an appropriate prayer. 'Though what I see is not imprinted in the Ecclesiast, let me share my vision with you alone.
The youma was rather surprised when she whipped her tail again and didn't notice the rhomb flashing by. She looked back at her posteriors and found a fluffy tassel instead of the lethal weapon. Well, and the rest of her body appeared white, not tiger-striped. She flailed her short white paws in dismay and attempted to scream, but only a thistle flower escaped her tiny mouth.
The spectators were very surprised too, when the formidable warrior didn't halve the seemingly helpless newcomer and shouted and fled in a random direction instead.
"Not bad!" the Queen screeched twice louder than usually to beat the whispers in the hall. "You are accepted to the post. go to Southern borders to crush the rebel of nomad armadillos. What are your plans?"
"Please let me use the weapons of mass imagination extermination", Jad bowed. The game seemed not too difficult.
oO'?"You have the permission"... Beryl was so confused that she said it quietly.
Murmurs in the throne hall, in canteens, washrooms and other public places wouldn't calm down.
"Have ya heard, the new General dealt with the rebels in three hours time".
"What three hours?! in five minutes! And his troops were killing off the captives for those three hours".
"He'll go far. Ya must take chance and steal him before others do it. With whom he sleeps, dearie?"
"Not with whom, hon. With what. With a book. New one every week. His chambermaid told me".
"Yuck! How does he manage THAT? No, I'd better not picture it, it's some overdemonic perversion".
"You say. Lord Zoisite is a monster of monsters, but even he's not that creepy".
"Here, the Fiery One, they tell, tried to seduce him and wheedle out his tactics and strategies and such stuff".
"So wha. The fresher did his vicious thing and didn't tell a damn?"
"Nooo, far worse! He didn't even glance at the Copperhead!"
"Really? And wha did Zois -"
"'Wha'... Got back without a snack pissed off like Beryl at that time of a month, and scorched the 35th Regiment. Slowly".
"Woow"...
Jadeite sprawled in an imaginary armchair by an imaginary fireplace in his quarters, with a book on his lap. The terror of his first victory was fading. The ex-angel had just wanted to make a promo action of Dark Kingdom among the rebels and presented them their primeval tribal customs as a cloud at the sun of DK feudalism. How could he know that clouds were very rare and precious source of water there? The nomads had raised the armor plates covering their bodies to stretch the surface of condensation, and then the youmas from Jadeite's retinue threw all their missiles with great precision. The commander had barely enough time to create an illusion of a victorious smile before his breakfast called for freedom.
But his underlings looked so happy... Jadeite didn't understand that, as many other things. Eg, what did Lord... Zoisite, if he remembered it right, come for before the 'battle'? And why he seemed upset?
Jad realized that he had no notion about 'demons'. So he gathered all kinds of books and busied himself with making abstracts, trying not to pay attention to the curious glances from the keyhole and door chinks. One article on demonic features, written by a human (2), attracted him most of all. It described demons as long-living, supremely beautiful, cruel perverted creatures possessing rebirth ability, tragic fate, physical needs and desires and astral bodies, kiddish attitudes and promiscuity in sex. He decided that people, as outsiders, have better field of view, and glanced to the mirror, which had already taken permanent residence in his chambers. Immortality and rebirth, physical perfection and astral body are intrinsic in both angels and demons but seem strange to people. Tragic circumstances were lavished upon him by both his heavenly and infernal bosses. He was accused of childishness not once at home. And since psychology of angels and demons differs, his normal state might seem a deviation and even cruelty. But at the chapter on earthly pleasures he blushed, paled, but couldn't think out (and moreover, to do) anything, as merely perforce his physiological complement (or lack thereof) he couldn't be subject or object of sexual relationship. At last he decided to overlook that issue. No one suspected an angel in him so far, after all, maybe he would be spared any legend-threatening tests.
An echo of teleport snapped him out of drowsing. Right in the middle of the chamber General Nephrite stood, his tunic unhooked, a half-empty bottle in a hand and two empty bottles in the pockets.
"Jeddy snookums, so that's what you're doing with books! And I thought... Well, if ya not busy let's go in for adultery! By the fire, on a bear hide... Oops, ya don' have bear hide... Don' care, soon ya'll stop noticin' that floor's hard n cold".
"What do you mean?"
"Guess something mean", the intruder smirked.
"No thanks, tuck your offer..." Jad halted, as he still didn't get used to swear, "where the sun does not shine".
"Yay, that's what I gonna do!"
Jadeite made such a face as if he chewed a whole lemon, but Nephrite was in a resolute and playful mood. "Why such terror and fear?
We're nor angels, my dear!
Why can't we spend some time to amend that fact that no woman is near?"
and he plunged at his colleague. The latter staggered aside in dismay, forgetting that he was sitting in the armchair. Sure he toppled over, and a leg of that piece of furniture met Neph's head. The hit and alcohol combined their efforts and sent the Star Lord to the Land of Dreams.
Jad crawled from under the armchair and looked at the demon, who slept like a baby, and looked equally cute. The insolent leer faded, features softened, the hand with the bottle froze halfway to the mouth... If he called mom, Jadeite wouldn't be surprised at all. The ex-angel watched him intensely, and his thoughts waned one by one, until a single desire was left,
"Wanna home, and to sleep".
And then someone knocked at the door.
Jadeite sprung to his feet, picked Nephrite up by the collar but in a second he realized that it wouldn't be wise to wake the trouble, so he dropped his colleague back, rushed in terror to the wardrobe, but it was already stuffed with grey uniforms, which reminded him that dark generals and lords do not seek refuge in wardrobes.
He willed Neph into a form of a bear hide and went to open the door.
"Who's there?"
"Youma Tetis, the chief Fraulein of the Queen".
Behind the door a cute dark-blue-haired girl stood. Jad found her hairstyle nice and was somewhat puzzled by her dress - why didn't it fall down? The collar had start and finish at the bust level, at the widest latitude. The ex-angel wouldn't recollect the word "decollete". And not a trace of sleeves or straps. The skirt was almost decently heel-long if not for the side slits up to the waist. They were so wide that that the very skirt consisted just of two ribbons in front and rear and was practically invisible in the shadow of her snow-white hips.
Now those hips moved towards Jadeite, forced him off to the fire-place and lounged on the bear hide so that the fire was casting most appetizing gleam on her bumps while the hollows stayed in most tempting shadows. The youma watched the general silently, and he said the first thing that came into his head, "Are you cold, Ms Tetis?"
"No, my blood is hot, and you must be freezing in our moderate climate after the heat of victorious Southern campaign... I've come here to warm you..."
The last unsolved article of demonic nature loomed over Jad to the full extend. While he didn't even know what was expected of him.
A gleam on her skin flashed into a sunspot of insight. If she waited for something definite then he needed just to visualize her fantasies. He plucked his courage and squatted beside her. She leant forward to him, and Jadeite pointed his finger to her forehead. 'Sleep, and may your foretaste be your dream.
The youma lay down with a dreamy smile, closed her eyes and soon was shivering and purring contently.
'I wonder what I've suggested her.
Of course it's not fair to hack others' dreams, but curiosity won. Jad put his hand on her temple. 'Let me take my place in your vision for a moment '
...In front of him Tetis, in things but without clothes, was spread on some metal device not unlike some metal device of post-modernist style. With mixed fear and longing she looked at the object of her intentions. Jadeite felt that his mental projection dropped one hand, with a lighter, and raised another one, with a whip, and -
The general fainted. Tetis kept snoring, and no one could notice that Nephrite was caught in the aura of her dream too. Fortunately, the dark lord woke up sooner than his guests and managed to throw them away into teleport. He had mastered that spell the other day.
The Star Lord could hardly grovel through the dim dreams. His throat demanded beer, his body - to get it down from the roof of his mansion (Jadeite wasn't very good at teleportation yet). His biography was yearning for filling the gaps. To start with, he had got drunk the day before because in the Kingdom there was no person left with whom he could have sex safely but didn't had; then he remembered about the new general, then... the picture blurred. Something had definitely happened. Kinda Nephritewas below, and kinda had breasts.
The Second General was abhorred at the thought and put the new colleague to the list of inaccessible targets.
The triumphal report of Lord Jadeite was celebrated with a massive gathering in the throne hall. No banquets, no fireworks and bank holidays. But youma enjoyed any possibility to crowd and chat.
"You saw, gals, Lord Intoxicated cringes away from the Lord Mysterious when he got back from reporting? And our Star-Stoned would snap back even at Her Screechesty!"
"Yeah, what kind of fruit is that guy..."
"See, how Tetis is gawkin' at him? Just melting out of her dress".
"Yep, I thought she'd cum right now".
"Sure she will - at his study if not here".
"You think so?"
"Duh! Tetis is a material girl, her dreams come out of practice".
"How'd ya know?"
"Whee, we're from the same incubator so we meet in a canteen and have some mushroom booze and chat from time to time".
"So? What she tells of the new lord?"
"Nothin'! On my word, she was telling me everythin' before, even", the youma glanced around cautiously, "even about the despotess in bed".
"Really?!"
"SILENCE!" in that tender loving way Beryl hushed all the talking in the hall. "Now, my servants, the new task. One of you, Lords, must gather energy from the Middle World for resurrection of King Metallia!"
"Me!" Jad sprang forward. The audience gasped. It was an unsurpassed perversion - to refuse the well-deserved 2-week vacation after the Queen's praise.
"Approved!" Beryl snapped just as quickly, unless he would change his mind.
'An angel of an officer', she thought.
'Is it really that noticeable?' he shivered.
It was really nice to see the sun, even separated by many ether layers, to listen to birds. Jadeite had nothing against the Sailor Warriors. They were cute girls, and only their fuku reminded unnervingly of Tetis' dress. Poor Tetis.
As for Tuxedo Mask, Jad padded him good in the airport almost with pleasure. Not only that coward was attacking from ambush and hiding behind the girls in real fight, but also he nourished most indecent thoughts about SailorMoon. And she was underage! And his speeches... Even the ex-angel felt like throwing at those proclamations, and what common people must have experienced!
Alas, the Fourth General couldn't fake inability to overpower a bunch of human children any longer. Jad watched in anguish the schoolgirls running across the landing field.. 'Guess I'm a bad demon - I still cannot kill' Senshi had been eluding his illusions with rare luck, and what else could he do? 'Here either you kill or you are... I-can-not. Me? What will I lose anyway? I'd just return home, maybe receive a reprimand - but Kami-sama will forgive me! And find an easier task.
He had thought it over not once, and now the stage of failure was set. He had learned to calculate his actions in long advance. He had foreseen that the Queen would watch over him, that his attempts to justify himself would anger her further. One thing he didn't expect - that instead of "Fireball!" she would shout, "Eternal Sleep!"
'Shit!' he swore for the first time in his life, if even just mentally. Shit, indeed. Sleep is not death, and his soul would stay here forever.
Ice, cold, and immobility. It seemed, the world didn't exist anymore, neither celestial nor nether nor middle one. And once he deemed the sun to be too hot, and had been hiding in tree shadows to doze. Well, his silly dream came true, he was sleeping in a cool place. Jadeite heard or saw nothing, and felt no pain - because only cold remained, piercing, dense and sticky like a gel, and hard like a crystal, it was pain, light, sound and the only reality. 'Cold, cold, cold... it's cold, Kami-sama! - no, I'd better imagine something else', he thought limply, and recollected the beaches of Euphrates, brought them up in memory and wished, wished hard... The cold was stronger.
And from the almost-illusory past came a phrase once read. 'If you cannot change the circumstances, change your attitude to them'.
Jedaito was happy to have his favorite occupation, he was sleeping and seeing a dream, just one dream, but it was so bright and vivid, and exquisite! As if it were 40 C hot, and he dove into a mountain lake, so clear that he could see its crystal bottom, and blessedly cold.
High above a cherubim was kneeling beside a magnificent tree and trying to look bashfully down and reverently up at the same time.
"Kami-sama, maybe it was a wrong decision? The second one is not coming back already!"
"Well", some lime flowers with a message fell down, "He is quite happy now, don't you think?"
"Y-yes..."
"And no one else will suffer from his laxity here, right?"
"Y-yes..."
"Do you still doubt the divine wisdom?"
"Y-ye- Oh no, I mean, no!"
Oware
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(1) a poem by JRRTolkien
(2) one fan article on Dark Kingdom demons. Verochka, "On Demonic and Human Nature of Demons"