Right. This is take two of Yuna's abortion because I hated the first one (and was rudely told so, may I please remind reviewers that reviews are either to show support of CONSTRUCTIVE criticism.
The first review for this was downright malicious. If you don't have anything nice to say then keep your damn mouth shut
As the title suggests, this fic is about abortion. This is not intended to scare or dissuade people from love making or abortion. Having not done either I do not and am not trying to pose as an expert on either. Sincerely, Final Fantasy H
Disclaimer applies to Square Enix
Yuna sat on the Besaid shore watching the Aurochs – now with Tidus in their line-up – leaving the island on the S.S. Winno for the bliztball tournament in Luca. He turned and waved at her as the ship departed. She raised her own hand in acknowledgment. Her hand felt a million miles away from her face – the sun glancing off from the ship's metal railing. The beach was packed with the villagers waving off the blitz team for the annual tournament.
The villagers' clothing – vivid blues, greens and yellows brightened the scenic backdrop. Yuna thought that it would look spectacular from the air.
In the air the faraway scent of the village bonfire and last night's fireworks lingered, creating a homey feel. Lulu was standing with Vidina and Wakka on the dock, her silhouette looking as if it was lightly dusted with pollen. Villagers passed the former high summoner carrying bright containers containing milk, honey, liniment – anything and everything a bliztball team would need.
The ship blew its horn as in triumph. The elder villagers huddled together in their almost identical shawls, nodding together at the younger children who were running up the dock – trying to keep up with the boat as it departed.
She fixed a smile on her face as Lulu walked back from the wooden platform towards her. In the few years since the Vegnagun incident, Lulu had grown more open and affectionate -something she now felt she could do. Yuna thought it was because Lulu knew her family weren't sitting ducks for Sin.
Lulu, still turning heads in the village - was carrying Vidina like he was a natural extension to her body. Yuna stood to meet her brushing the sand particles that had clung to her shorts off and walked back with the older woman in silence, Lulu, once, allowing her her silence. A rarity.
Lulu spoke of what Wakka had said about the teams' chances of winning the cup, mimicking his heavy dialect lovingly. Yuna listened only half-heartedly – mind troubled with what was happening inside her.
After the conversation had dried up - leaving a companiable silence – Yuna and Lulu were only halfway to the village. Yuna desperately wanted Lulu's counsel on this situation but could not ask. The island had never looked better the women; as most of the town were signed up to the New Yevon movement (Yuna privately thought that it was because Besaid's denizens were old) they had begun to rebuild the old ruins along Waterfall way, making the road habitable once more. The new houses loomed from their new foundations comfortably as if in an embrace. Continuing on, the only changes are the spring flowers upon the Promontory. Lulu let Vidina toddle along, chubby little arms held out either side for balance. Yuna put her hands behind her back and watched them, thinking hard.
Once at the village Lulu went off to her village friends, most being new mothers – leaving Yuna to watch Vidina. Yuna wished again that she could have spoken to Lulu about her little problem. Preferably, Lulu before marriage and Vidina where her opinions were a little more open-minded. Some, like Tidus would say they were bordering on bizarre.
Later that day while Yuna was playing with Vidina by the new village bonfire, she looked up to the sound of boots making their way towards her. Looking past the sun glare Yuna saw that it was Paine. The taller girl smiled warily at Vidina – not having Yuna's natural style with children.
"Paine!" Vidina said, pointing at the newcomer with a burning branch.
"Vidina, no." Yuna said, laughing freely, feeling great.
Paine wasn't a regular visitor to Besaid. Asked why, she responded that she wasn't comfortable with just 'popping in' like Rikku. Although she never said it she still felt like she belonged more with the guys.
"Rikku's somewhere in the waterfall, cooling off." Paine said, feeling hot and bothered. She had been trying to dissuade Nooj all week from allowing machina patrol guards (formerly of the Mi'ihen Highroad) to go all the way up to the Bevelle boundaries.
Yuna shifted aside a little so Paine could squat beside her and asked Rikku to take a restless (and lethal) Vidina around the island. While Rikku exclaiming over the cut on the infant's knee, Yuna grabbed the warrior's hand and pulled her into the home that Lulu and Wakka shared.
It took a moment for Paine's eyes to adjust to the relative that Wakka and Lulu kept their house in. After the bright spots had disappeared from her vision she saw Yuna standing in the middle of the room, looking down at the close-weave rug that served for a carpet.
"W-What – Yuna?" Looking at her concerned face, Yuna burst into tears, throwing herself at the taller girl, sobbing hysterically. Paine froze, feeling Shuyin's embrace from the Den of Woe and then relaxed slightly, holding her like the good friend that she knew she was.
After Yuna had calmed down somewhat, Paine decided to try and find out what was wrong with her former colleague.
"Yuna?" Yeah, great start, Paine she thought.
Yuna picked up the other girl's discomfort and tried to tell her what was wrong, hiccoughing weakly she took a sip of Lulu's tea Paine had made. "It-I-I'm late." She said, not trusting herself to look at Paine.
"Oh, that." Said Paine, pulling herself onto the bed, leaning back on her elbows to think about how to broach the subject. Yuna looked at Paine dependently, trying to control the next bout of tears.
"Lulu and Wakka're gonna kill me." She said, wanting Paine to suggest it, "with me and Tidus not being married and all…" She took to playing with her skirt, ravelling the worn material around her fingers repeatedly.
Paine leant forward slowly, raising her head at the sound of Rikku praising Vidina for something.
"What are you saying, Yuna?" She said calmly, knowing what Yuna was trying to make her say, "you sound like you've thought of it…?"
Yuna looked up at her friend and nodded her head, feeling as bad as when she had when she had to kill the Aeons. Paine touched the centre of her upper lip with her tongue – a sure sign that she was going to do something that went against her strict morals. Holding back a laugh, Yuna remembered that one of them was to absolve from sexual intercourse before she married. Thinking back to that day, Yuna remembered Paine adding and 'if' as in 'if she got married', Rikku had started then saying –
"Yuna?"
"Huh?" She looked up to find Paine a few inches in front of her on the floor where she had crept like a little girl when Paine was deliberating.
"Yunie doesn't need to abort him – or her!" Rikku said from the doorway, eyes wide and slightly hurt.
"You shouldn't listen to other peoples' conversations, Rikku." Paine said, clearly annoyed, "minus another respect point." She finished, emphasizing the pre-modifier. Turning back to Yuna, Paine asked "Do you want to abort it?"
Yuna felt like she ought to be angry. Inside of her their was either a little boy or a little girl like what Rikku said. Not an 'it'. Again, Yuna nodded her head.
Paine held her arms out and Yuna fell into them. While she cried, the other stroked her hair and made soothing noises clumsily. Rikku sat playing with the loose ends of rug, not looking at the other two – not noticing Paine trying to get her attention.
This was not something she had had to deal with in the Squad.
Early dusk found Paine and Rikku sitting around the fire, each in her own thoughts. Namely; Yuna's abortion.
Paine thought of the consequences and possible reconstructions, going through each scenario thoroughly, all the while thinking about the morality of the situation.
Rikku was lost inside herself, applying Yuna's situation to her own life. Not since Tidus had told her to help him think of a way to keep Yuna from dying had she felt so incapable.
"Uggh! I can't think of anything!" Rikku shouted, squeezing her temples with her hands. Paine looked over at Rikku and then back at the floor.
"I know."
"Paine?"
"What?" Paine said cautiously, picking up Rikku's solicitous tone.
"Eeeraghh! Just what the heck are we supposed to do?!" Rikku cried attracting attention.
"I don't know. I've tried asking myself what I would do in her position but it's all context-bound." Paine said, looking at a distant object as she normally did when she spoke for a long time.
Rikku didn't want to ask what 'context' meant so she went back to thinking about Yunie. "..This is no fun at all." Rikku said, shuffling her boot in the embers.
Paine searched the night sky wondering what the guys would say…
Yuna lay on the bed she had occupied since childhood, hearing the clicks her eyes made. Lulu had come in once or twice during the course of the evening. But Yuna had pretended to be asleep. Now, Yuna rolls over into a foetal position, clasping her hands over her knees.
Lulu stood with a the dog walker, not concentrating on the conversation. Instead she found her gaze drawn to her and Wakka's house where Yuna was pretending to be asleep. Making her excuses to Kitty, she walked purposefully back to her home to talk with Yuna. Her mothering instincts told her to.
Yuna shut her eyes, beginning to pick up the tinges of red that came with too much crying thinking or both. Lulu paused in the doorway until Yuna rolled over to face her. Lulu went and sat on the same chair she had sat at when Yuna first came back to the village after joining the Gullwings.
"Yuna," Lulu began, probing the darkness with her maroon eyes.
"I…need to make a decision." Yuna said, thinking back to when Seymour had proposed to her.
From the darkness, Lulu remained silent although Yuna could still feel her eyes on her.
"I've decided that I want an abortion. I'm sorry. It's my…duty to the people to lead on example." Yuna said confidently up at the uncompromising dark.
More silence from Lulu. Yuna tried to look at her through her peripheral vision but found that she could not.
"Because I'm not married people will judge me in a negative light." Yuna said, unaware that she had used a rather inappropriate pronoun.
"…And what does Tidus think?" Lulu said, destroying Yuna's lame reasons as if she had stood upon an eggshell.
From the dark Yuna sighed.
"I have decided not to tell him." She said, grateful that she could not see Lulu.
"What?!" Lulu stood up and lit a kerosene lamp, blinding them both. In the seconds their eyes needed to adjust, Lulu blundered over to where the younger girl lay, grabbing her shoulder roughly. "He is the father…isn't he?"
Unknown to her, Lulu had just demolished the tentative bridge the girls' relationship was based on from its moorings.
"Of course he is!" Yuna shouted, pulling herself out from Lulu's grip once and for all.
With that, Yuna ran into the night air beyond the constraints of whatever life she and Tidus had built here. Her mind was made up.
After the apocalyptic argument, Lulu stood by the promontory wishing that Wakka or Tidus was here. The night air cooled her forehead and blew her fringe away with tender, concerned fingers. Nobody was around now, even the nice young men from the New Yevon Builder's Association (NYBA) had packed up for the day. Off in the distance, Lulu could see the new houses skulking among the ancient ruins like feral animals. The ground beneath her feet was unstable and half-submerged in the gloom. From the village, a steady pace began, moving Lulu from her thoughts to face the sound.
From the village slope Paine walked steadily, no longer calling Yuna's name. It had been three hours since Lulu had reported her missing and Paine was tired.
Paine caught the other woman looking at her and joined her on the overhang over Besaid village.
"She's gone." Paine said, not showing and emotion or sympathy. Lulu was glad. She had been drowned in sympathy and chit-chat from gossips who wanted to know what had been said.
"I see… Thank you, Paine." Lulu glanced up into the night, wondering whether Yuna was going to allow the Al Bhed to murder her baby. Lulu shuddered when she thought of Yuna playing with Vidina.
"'When the sky wears the moon as its pendant, I shall await you at the dock'."
Lulu looked at her still companion curiously. Paine looked at Lulu and blushed gently,
"Poetry." She said, as if that single word was enough. Lulu turned slightly to peer down at the dock.
"Let's go."
The Besaid to the Moonflow had long since departed when the two women arrived at the dock side. Despite Paine haranguing the clerk on duty, no one could be certain whether Yuna had left the island this way.
"Look, I'll say this once more; did Lady Yuna board that ship or not?"
"I just got here!" The clerk said, trying to hammer a plank back down.
Lulu intervened before the clerk got hammered.
Yuna sat up on the deck of the ship under the parasol rendered useless at night time. She hoped that Paine, Rikku and Lulu wouldn't try to follow her. Yuna went and visited the chocobo in the engine room.
Sally had had enough by this point. The engine's chocobo had decided to chase a poor Bevellian around the deck and had to be restrained inside the wheel. Something Sally hated having to do. Wiping her hands on her Al Bhedi uniform she entered the adjacent engine room to hear something talking. Leaning closer, she sat quiet comfortably against the door and listened in.
"You're a good" brief examination "girl." Yuna said, watching the chocobo run its endless path. The chocobo ran on blindly. Yuna looked around the tiny room unhappily, her heart uneasy.
"You're so lucky. You don't have to make important decisions. All you have to do is just…run." Yuna said, hating the un-Yuna-ish way she was speaking. Unconsciously she had adopted her cousin's lexis, syntax, dialect and slight accent.
Yuna went to her grave not knowing this.
Some things are better not knowing.
The mind for all its ego-defence methods cannot cope with the bending of morals. This is possible what makes a serial killer so deadly.
"Y'know, I've killed a lot of things, but…I didn't mean it, you know?" The chocobo squealed, believing it was advancing upon the mimett green.
"I mean, the Aeons – and the dark Aeons – they had to go 'cause they was bad and heh heh." Yuna touched the back of her neck self-consciously wondering why she had to justify herself to a chocobo.
"The people of Spira are still looking at me, right? Right. That's why I have to, y'know…do this. And nobody need ever know!...Right? Right." Yuna rubbed her hands over her arms in a gesture of self-comfort.
Outside, Sally had heard enough. Rolling her eyes she went to find someone on-board she could tell. Now, if she only knew what person she could tell without them telling…
Yuna pulled hay and chocobo feed out of the way to reveal a cosy little corner, big enough for one. Well, in this case it would be two. Yuna sighed and pulled the bags back so that they covered her from on-board security.
Okay, this is going to go into chapters but at least I don't have to revise. I have already had my three General Studies exams and my English Language exam. Tomorrow is my Achilles heel – Sociology followed by Psychology the next day….at least I get a break before English Literature….