Your mind is the most reliable and unreliable tool you have, and Katsuki knows that.
He knows that all too well. It's all engraved in his brain, like a memory that won't die. Stop messing with him, stop messing with him. Katsuki knows what he has done, he knows what he is. The boy knows just how fucked-up he is and he doesn't need reminders. Stop messing with him, stop messing with him. He'll do his time – just stop messing with him.
(Just let him repent in peace.)
Flashes of green, emerald. Flashes of red and white, gray and blue. Flashes of pink and black. Flashes of electric yellow. Flashes of red, pure red, blissful red, comforting red. Katsuki knows them, he feels like he knows them. They used to be a part of the puzzle called his life at some point. Yeah, yeah, but those puzzle pieces are gone and he's gone and just a lot of things are gone. They've disappeared, never to be seen again. Gone with the wind or some shit like that.
And it's sad and frustrating and fucking hilarious because things can never go back to be as they were. Honestly, there wasn't much of a "were" to begin with, but it was something there. Something was progressing, something was started. And Katsuki fucked it all up because that's apparently what Katsuki does. That's apparently all Katsuki can do. Fuck up. It's a simple concept, ain't it?
But Katsuki's tired of fucking up, but the damage is done. Life is like fire: it burns so brightly and destructively and soon it'll be extinguished. Katsuki's waiting to be extinguished, but nature is taking her sweet time.
His mind taunts and jeers at him, and he wishes he can tear it out. No more thoughts, no more pain. Just the bliss on not facing the truth and the lies anymore.
Just nothingness.
finally college calms the fuck down a bit and i can get back to writing. i've been ignoring everyone and everything in order to get stuff done and i feel so bad and exhausted. aaaaaah.
today has consisted of me writing stories and procrastinating on homework, and out of that came four mha stories (including this one). so...sorry for the incoming spam, i guess. i'll spread it out throughout the hour. but the muse is calling out to me and thankfully, i answered.