AUTHOR'S NOTE: Part of the "Lost and Found" AU which begins with "Little Boy Lost" and continues with "Penance" and "Little Girl Found." "LBL" and "LGF" are both referenced throughout this story, so if you haven't read those, please do or you've walked into the movie halfway. **smile**
The original intent for this title was smut, plain and simple. But I kept going back to the Len's history as an abused child, and just how subdued he became around his abuser in Flash 2x03 "Family of Rogues." Being married to a survivor of child abuse, I know the hurt lasts long after the abuser is gone.
So this became a lot more introspective and emotional than I'd expected.
Sensitive readers should be aware that there are some rather intense descriptions of bullying and shaming in the next chapter.
Leonard Snart was generally a patient man. It was the reason for his success as a criminal. It took patience to research a job, to case a site, to figure out the best way to bypass a security system and to outsmart the cops and not get caught.
It also took patience to learn all the ins and outs of his Cold Gun, so that he could take it apart and put it back together with improvements Cisco Ramon had never imagined.
Dealing with people took another type of patience. He wasn't quite as good at this type, but he figured he'd come a long way from his days of dealing with dissenting criminal cohorts via a bullet to the brain. Verbal shots had turned out to be a lot more fun than gunshots anyway, and Ray unwittingly gave him plenty of opportunities for practice.
Right now, though, he wasn't feeling particularly patient. And that lack of patience was making him irritated with himself.
Of course Sara would want to spend time with her sister. The woman was just back from the dead, after all, and she'd had a lot of adjusting to do in those first waking hours since her resurrection. The idea of being brought back to life was just the first of many shocks for Laurel, followed by bewilderment over having been through the Lazarus Pit without picking up a bad case of bloodlust. Then there was meeting the Waverider team on the bridge (and he still couldn't decide which seemed to startle her more: Mick's brooding presence or Gideon's disembodied head). Add to that some surprise over Malcolm Merlyn's part in her restoration, and just a little glee over his eventual fate. (Who'd have thought Rip Hunter had the stones to dump the rotten smug prick on another planet?)
And then top it all off with the pain of learning she couldn't go home again.
Laurel Lance needed her sister right now, and Len shouldn't grudge her that. Problem was, he was grudging her that, and he felt like a shit for it.
Perhaps it was a good sign that he felt bad about being selfish.
It wasn't as he and Sara hadn't hashed it out last night. Not that they wanted to hide their just-blossoming relationship. But Sara wanted to give her sister a little time to adjust to all the changes in her life, to actually being alive. And he had to agree with that. He couldn't see Sara telling Laurel, "Yes, we brought you back from the dead and you're stuck here on the Waverider and by the way, meet my criminal boyfriend." (Boyfriend. As many times as he'd tried that one on over the past few hours, it still felt too juvenile.)
He got it. Really, he did. At least, he did with the intellectual side of himself that usually drove the bus. But that side had taken something of a beating over the past few days, and last night's kisses had unleashed the side he usually kept under tight control.
"To love and to be loved is a basic human need." Stein's sage advice. Who'd have thought a physicist would understand matters of the heart so well?
"I'm going to be very human. And very needy." His own warning to Sara, just last night.
"The hell with it," he muttered to himself. "Gideon? Where can I find Sara?"
The AI responded promptly, "Sara and Laurel Lance are both in the fabrication room."
Probably working up a wardrobe for Laurel. After all, she'd arrived in nothing but the clothes she'd been buried in. "Thanks, Gideon."
"Shall I let her know you're looking for her?"
He waved it off. "No need." He'd just drop by, check in, see how they were doing. No harm in that.
"Ray actually said his name was John Wayne?" Laurel asked with an incredulous giggle.
They were waiting for the fabricator to finish up a few last items. After expressing amazement at watching the machine at work, Laurel had gone to town just a bit, ever the clotheshorse.
Sara nodded. "And he said he wanted to 'rope some doggies,' too. It was like being in one of those western movie marathons Dad used to like. Until the Hunters showed up and turned it into Cowboys & Aliens."
Laurel leaned in toward Sara. "And you drank that big scary looking guy under the table."
"His name is Mick," Sara supplied helpfully. "And he may look scary… okay, he can be scary, sometimes, but… there's more to him than meets the eye." She pointedly did not mention Mick's alter ego, Chronos. Laurel had enough to acclimate to as it was. There was plenty of time to fill her in on that sort of detail later.
"So what about his partner?" Laurel asked, cocking her head with a speculative look.
Sara knew that look and that tone all too well. Cue the protective big sister. She kept her answer nonchalant. "You mean Leonard?"
Laurel raised an eyebrow at her. "Yes, Leonard. Who could barely keep his eyes off you back on the bridge. I know that look, Sara." She put a hand on Sara's arm. "I also know you and your history with bad boys…"
"Len has changed, Laurel," Sara said defensively. This was not the way she wanted to tell Laurel about herself and Len, but after all this time on the Waverider she should have known that nothing ever, ever went as planned. "This trip is changing all of us."
Laurel wasn't buying it. "Sara, CCPD shared Leonard Snart's files with the Star City DA's office when he was still at large, right before all of you left. He was in Iron Heights for murdering his own father…"
"Who was an abuser," Sara pointed out quickly.
Laurel wasn't deterred. "He's a killer."
"And so am I!" Sara snapped, pulling away. Laurel gave a nod of concession to that, and Sara went on, "But Len believes I'm not that person any more. And he's not the person in those files any more. Laurel, even Dad was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt."
"Dad gave up on trying to tell you what to do after the Gambit," Laurel groused. "Sara, I just… I just want what's best for you."
Sara shook her head. "And you've decided he's not what's best for me, without even getting to know him."
"I didn't say that, Sara. But at least your other bad boys made it out of high school!" Laurel answered in exasperation.
"I may have dropped out, but it's not because I'm stupid," came Len's icy drawl from the doorway. He was standing there with clenched fists and cold fury in his eyes. "They tried sending me to high school after Juvie. Actually put me in a couple honors classes. The counselors thought I had potential, and since dear old Dad was behind bars, they thought they might be able to make something of me." His voice became quieter, calmer. He stared down at the deck, a sure sign he was struggling with his feelings. "But this was decades before anyone came up with plans to reintegrate kids like me, to make sure we made it. The method then was, 'throw 'em back in the jungle and see if they survive.' I didn't last long, but it wasn't the schoolwork or a burning desire for a life of crime that drove me out."
His tone turned bitter. "It was the talk. The whispering behind my back. The stares at the skinny, ragged kid who'd done time. I didn't quite fit anywhere in the high school scene after Juvie, no matter what the bleeding heart counselors thought of my potential. Even the teachers didn't trust me. They sounded an awful lot like you just did."
Now he fixed Laurel with his trademark "Captain Cold" blue gaze. "How long do you think you'd have lasted with that, prom queen? So I went back to what I knew. Lived down to their low expectations. I see some things don't change."
Laurel flinched a little at his intense stare. "I'm… I'm sorry, Leonard. Len. I didn't know. Sara's right. I should get to know you and not your record."
"What you should do is trust your sister," he said. He turned on his heel and stalked off.
Sara closed her eyes, drew in a deep breath and let it out. When she opened them, Laurel was watching her with an apologetic expression. "Sara, I'm sorry. Really. I know I should give you more credit, and give him a chance."
Sara took her sister's hand and squeezed it. "It's been a rough few days for all of us, Laurel. I know you're just looking out for me, and I think Len does too, deep down." She looked around at the piles of clothing. "You okay to get all this stuff back to my room on your own?"
Laurel nodded. "Go take care of that bad boy of yours." She hugged her sister. "I'll take your word that there's a good man hiding underneath."
END NOTE: Fair warning. A lot of angst ahead, and a story to horrify any parent of a high schooler.