Roy was slumped against his desk, honestly trying his hardest not to do his paperwork. He had already cleaned all the windows, organized the enormous stacks of the still-undone paperwork, hell, he even organized Riza's gun shelf by caliber!

Roy lifted his face from the droll-coated desk as he felt a gun pressed against his head.

"Morning, Lieutenant!" He said in a mock cheery voice. The gun remained pressed against his head, Riza dead silent.

In fact, Roy's whole office was dead silent. Every one of his team members were staring at the two in terrified silence. Terrified of Riza.

"Colonel…" Riza murmured. "…You realize that all this paperwork is due today, correct?" She sounded routinely authoritive like she had done this a million times before. Which probably, she has.

Roy was saved by Hughes rushing in. "Yo, Roy!" He put his hand up and shouted at him. Riza slowly pulled the gun away from Roy's head and stood to his side, her arms folded.

"Yes, Hughes?" Roy said, just the tiniest annoyed at how he didn't notice the gun pointed at his head.

Hughes whispered in his ear. "I have a special mission for you." Roy simply nodded. "The Fuhrer wants to conduct an experiment. An experiment to see how much it'd take to make Riza crack."

Roy smirked arrogantly. "Tell him, the damage is done."

Suddenly, Hughes shoved a picture of his daughter Elysia in Riza's suspicious face. "Look at her! Isn't she the cutest? Did you know her birthday was yesterday?!" There goes Hughes with his major obsession with his daughter.

Riza sighed in exasperation. "Sir…" She gently shoved the picture away and plastered on a fake smile. "…She's adorable."

Edward Elric walked in, looked at the three of them, Riza shoving the picture away from her face and trying to return to it Hughes and Roy smiling evilly at them, and just walked away silently. Not before Armstrong started chasing him, yelling something, "Come and marvel at my beauty young Elric!"

Riza looked at Edward and shouted; "Edward you have a report to turn in!" Edward dropped the folder holding his report and dashed out.

Riza pushed Hughes away from her and slammed the door shut, walking out.

Roy snickered like a school girl. "I can't wait to anger her more!" He sang.

Hughes winked and left Roy to his planning.

The next day, at the dinner table~

Roy had purposely made Riza's food extremely cold. When she commented on it being extremely un-chewable, he set it on fire gracefully. "I hope you like it extra crispy, dear~!" He sang at her.

Riza slammed her fork down and stood, patting the fire to set it out. "I'm going outside." She said in her most forced calm voice.

"I'll go with you!" Roy hopped up, laying his fork down.

She pushed him away gently. "No. I would rather be on my own, thank you."

Her smile was a tight line of annoyance.

A/N: This is a crack fic that I made for the poetry night for my school, hope you guys like it! Review? (they're the fuel to my artistic puke)

-BrokenFireAlch