WARNINGS: Contains descriptions of incest, pedophillia and graphic violence.
Don't read if these may be triggers
Power… it is a strange thing; it has no discernible form, it is neither physical nor nebulous, but it is something that everyone recognises in all of its forms… Power, can also be stripped away.
I have lived almost a quarter century and in that short amount of time I have seen some of the worst faces of power and one of the best. Up until recently, I have only known how power can hurt, and how it can be used to strip away everything that makes an individual, leaving nothing but an empty husk.
For the first ten years of my life I was a born Beta, I knew my place within the pack. I knew my sister Laura, was to be Alpha in her turn and I her loyal brother and Beta.
We were happy, family… pack.
It wasn't until much later that I realised just how naïve I really was.
The morning of my eleventh birthday dawned with what seemed blood in the skies, but only turned out to be the flames from our blazing den reflected in the clouds above. The wind howling around me as I howled as loudly as I could for my family from within the cocoon of my Uncle Peter's arms, tightly wrapped around me.
Arms tightly around me, my uncle turned around from our den and slowly headed into the forest. Scrambling within his grasp I twisted to try and see my home, screaming for my Mama Alpha and Papa. All I could hear in return was the wind and the crackle of fire.
Many humans believe they can understand what loss is and maybe even these humans can do so, but to lose one's pack is another matter altogether. The ties of pack go far beyond those of family; it is not just a unit or a family grouping. What binds us as Pack can't be described any easier than describing sight is to a blind man. Pack is our entire world and without pack structure those left remaining are nothing. Even as an eleven year old I knew this.
Casting my mind in search of pack I could feel nothing but my uncle, an absolute absence of anything bar him and me. It was then I knew… my family was gone and my mind began to shut down. One of the last vestiges of memory I have from that day was the red glow of an Alpha's eyes and the faint sound of muffled laughter as my uncle carried me further from my den and towards the beginning of my darkest nightmares.
It was a year almost to the day of the fire that I entered the kitchen of this run down shack in the middle of nowhere my uncle has us staying in. I had awoken early; startled from my dreams by an unbearable pressure followed by wet warmness which had me shaking hard enough to force me from slumber. I knew what had happened and in my own, nearly twelve year old way, I felt a sense of pride knowing that I was now capable of more than being a cub, maybe not a wolf yet, but certainly closer to it than just a cub.
I could sense my uncle before I could see him, agitated and wary with a strong sense of need over-powering the air, turning to face my uncle all I could see was his eye's glowing.
"It has happened then?" The not quite voice, not quite growl uttered.
Shaking my head in confusion I answered, "Uncle?"
"Don't lie to me cub, your scent has changed. You reek of sex and pheromones!"
His voice now was nothing but growl now and a feeling of dread prickled along my spine.
"Mine!" The growl was more in thought form than vocal, but the meaning was clear.
Maybe I was more cub than wolf, I broke the first tenant of our kind… never turn your back on your Alpha.
Pain, agonising pain, as my uncle's teeth lodged firmly at the juncture of neck and shoulder. My scream turning into a howl then a whimper of submission as his teeth went deeper into my flesh as he held on, his claws raking my back, shredding me as I thrashed beneath him uselessly.
Finally exhausted, I lay limp on the ground, his teeth still embedded in my neck, and prepared for death.
With one claw, my uncle ripped what remained of my clothing away, leaving me half dead and naked with blood still dripping from my back and neck.
Everything seemed to go black as his teeth released me an excruciating pain throughout my entire body, my wounds only very slowly began to heal from my Alpha's rage.
Through the sounds of my own whimpers I could hear the sound of fabric rustling and deep inhalations coming from behind me.
That was the first time he took me, right there on that filthy kitchen floor. The first of many times he took me throughout the next twelve years.
For the first ten years of my life I was a born Beta, I knew my place within the pack. I knew my sister Laura, was to be Alpha in her turn and I her loyal brother and Beta.
For one year after that, I was still a Beta with only my uncle for Pack.
For the twelve years that followed… I was omega.
Soft golden brown eyes look at me as his thumb wipes the tears from my cheek.
"I'm sorry Derek… just, I'm sorry. Nothing more can be said." Stiles looks at me with his own tears coursing down his cheeks.
"Just, when I asked you to use your words, this wasn't quite what I expected."
Drawing a snort from me is the last thing Stiles expects, but I do so anyway.
Wrapping his arms around me is what breaks the dam, as I finally allow myself to cry. It is only then that I realise that this is the first time I have been held with love since the fire.