STAR WARS
EPSISODE: 1 ½
JUST SO YOU KNOW THE IDEA CAME FROM LION KING 1 ½ SO THERE MAYBE SOME THER MAYBE SOME QUOTES FROM THERE AND OBVIOSLLY THE STORY LINE IS GOING TO BE ABOUT STAR WARS EPS. 1 SO DON'T TELL ANY ONE ESPECIALLY GEORGE LUCAS.
CHAPTER 1
ALONG TIME AGO IN GALAXY FAR FAR AWAY …
JARJAR BINKS DISCOVERED AWAY TO TAKE LITTLE, FLAT, CIRCULAR DATA BANKS AND WATCH EITHIER MEMORIES OR STORIES AND HE CALLED IT THE DVD AND ONE TIME HE PLACED ONE OF THESE "DVD" IN TO R2-D2. JARJAR AND BOSNASS WATCHED THERE MEMORIES FROM THE FIRST TIME JARJAR HAD MET WITH THE CREW OF STAR WARS EPS: 1 AND THIS HOW IT ALL REALLY WENT KIDS …
"JARJAR START THE MOVIE BEORE LUKE AND OBI-WAN KENOBI RETURN" YELLED BOSNASS JARJAR REPLIED CALMLY "YOU RETARD DON'T LOOK AT ME R2 DOESN'T HAVE A 'DVD' DRIVE." "WHAT THE F WERE YOU THINKING BRINGING A DVD COULDN'T WE HAVE JUST- BOSNASS WAS INTERUPTED BY THE HAPPY SCREAM OF JOY FROM JARJAR "I FOUND IT OK R2 LET IT RIP ." R2 HAD LEARNED BY NOW TO EXPRESS HIS EMOSSION (WHAT A PITTY) BUT NOBODY COULD UNDERSTAND HIM BECASE HE ONLY SPOKE IN 1s AND 0s. R2 OR AS HE LIKED TO BE CALLED "1001000100100010001" STARTED 1ING AND 0ING AGRLY AT JARJAR, BUT AS THE STORY GOES EVERYWHERE GOOD IN THIS CASE JARJAR ( I'M STILL WONDERING WHY JARJAR COUNTS AS GOOD) WINS AND R2-D2 STARTED PLAYING THE DISK THAT WAS APPERENTLY SHOVED IN HIS BUTT HOLE.
SUDDENLY RANDOMLY A URUKIA JUMPS UP ON THE SCREEN AND STARTS KILLING EVERY ONE INCLUDING OTHER URUKS …
JARJAR QUICKLY FASTFORWARDS TO THE STARWARS AGESWHICH ONLY TOOK ABOUT A YEAR.
WHILE JARJAR AND BOSNASS WERE ABOUT THE MIDDLE OF THE MOVIE JARJAR RANDOMLY HAS A CRAZY IPIPHINI HE SHOVED HIS HAND IN TO THE TOASTER AND TOASTED HIS HAND AFTER WHICH HE SHOVED BOSNASS'S WINKI INTO TO OVEN AT 360 DEGREES THEN BOSNASS BEAT THE CRAP OR FISICES OUT OF JAJA BINKS.
JARJR HAD ANOTHER WILD THOUGHT. BOSNAS QUICKLY BOUGHT TICKETS IN A T-79650 WHICH WAS A HUGE ROCKET SHIP THAT VRoOM.
BUT JARJAR BINKS VOICE ACTOR HAD A FATAL STROKE THAT KILLED HIM BUT HE SURVIVED. AFTER THAT JARJAR WAS NEVER THE SAME AGAIN. AFTER THE SUDDEN AND RANDOM OCURENCES JARJAR SAID THAT THEY SHOULD REFILM STARWARS EPISODE (AROUND THIS POINT WE RAN OUT OF THINGS TO SAY SO TOOK A NAP)1. SO HE AND BOSSNASS FLEW TO CORUSCANT FOR FILMING. UPON ARRIVALTHEY GATHERED THE CAST. FROM THE RETIREMENT HOMES.
VADER YELLS "ARE YOU MY 'HOHE' SON" LUKE REPLIED "YES DAD ITS ME" "GOOD BECAUSE I MUST TELL YOU SOMETHING" WHAT? YOU LOVE ME?" "NO.
LUKE I AM YOUR FATHER!!!!!!!" VADER COLLAPSES.
" DAD ARE YOU ALRIGHT?" ASKES LUKE "LUKE USE THE FORCE TO BRING HIM BACK."YELLS OBI-WAN KENOBI. LUKE USES THE FORCE TO BRING VADER BACK TO LIFE. VADER STARTS YELLING AT LUKE " YOU MOTHERFUCKING RETARD IWAS ALMOST DOING IT WITH YOUR MOM WHEN YOU BROUGHT ME BACK I'LL KILL YOU EVEN THOUGH YOU'RE MY ONE AND ONLY SON"
"UHHHHHHHHHHH DAD THERE IS A PROBLEM."
"WHAT DID I POOP MYSELF AGAIN?"
"NO DAD. IT'S MUCH WORSE THEN THAT. I DON'T THINK IM YOUR SON"
SUDDENLY MOARY POPS INTO THE ROOM
" WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"YELLS VADER
MAURY: TELL ME LUKE WHAT MADE YOU THINK THAT VADER IS NOT YOUR FATHER
LUKE : IT WAS MOSTLY THE WAY HE SO EASLY PERSUADED I MEAN HAVE YOU EVER SEEN EPISODE THREE OF THE STARWARS TRILOGY?
MAURY: VERY INTERSETING
RANDOM MAN WALKS IN AND GIVES A JELLY STAINED YELLOW ENVELOPE TO MAURY. MAURY OPENS THE ENVELOPE.
MAURY: DARTH VADER GREAT LORD OF THE RETIRED SITH WHEN IT COMES TO WELL I'M NOT SURE HOW OLD YOU ARE LUKE SKYWALKER
LONG GAP FOR ANY ONE WHO WANTED TO GULP… YOU ARE … NOT THE FATHER
VADER: WHAT THE HELL! I EVEN TOOK A PERTERNATY TEST WHEN HE WAS GETTING BORN YOU KNOW WEN I TURN INTO A MECHANICAL FREAK YA THAT'S ALL BULLSHIT I COULD EASLY LIVE WITH OUT IT BUT THAT PROVES HOW FAR MODERN TECHNOLIGY HAS GONE WAY THAT THING IS A PUT ON PERTERNATY TEST.
GASP FILLS THE ROOM
VADER: BUT IF IM NOT THE FATHERWHO IS?
MAURY: LUKE SKYWALKER YOUR REAL FATHER REALLY IS—
LUKE: OBI-ON
MAURY: NO. YOUR REAL FATHER REALLY IS KE-AD MUNDI
LUKE: WHAT THE FUCK HOW CAN THAT BE?
MAURY: WELL IT SAYS HERE YOU HAVE TWO FATHERS BOTH DECEASED
LUKE: WHO.
MAURY:WELL KE-AD MUNDI AND YODA
GASP FILLS THE ROOM ONCE MORE.
BUT BACK TO OUR MAIN STORY WHILE ALL OF THAT WAS GOING ON JARJAR AND BOSNASS GATHERED THE CREW AND THEY GOT THE CHOICE OF EITHER PLAYING THERE OWN CHARACTER OR GETTING AN ACTOR FROM A THOUSAND GALAXIES AWAY. ALL OF THEM SAID ACTOR BUT BECAUSE THE MOVIE WAS UNDER BUDGET EVERYONE HAD TO PLAY THEIR OWN PART IF NOT SOME ONE ELSES BECAUSE THAT PERSON EITHER IS TO SICK OR HAS PASSED ON OR ON VACATION.
CHAPTER2
JARJAR: OK OBI WAN, KWEGON PLACES EVERYONE
KWEGON:I POOPED MYSELF AGAIN
JARJAR: THAT'S NOT A PROBLEM. BOSNASS CLEAN HIM UP WILL YA
BOSNASS: WHY DO I HAVE TO CLEAN HIM UP
JARJAR:BECAUSE I'M DIRECTOR ALL I DO IS SIT AROUND AND COMAND PEOPLE
BOSNASS: I STILL THINK I SHOULD BE DICT… (COUGHS ATOR) I MEAN DIRECTOR
JARJAR: YOUSA ARGUING WITHA DIRECTOR O YOUSA GONNA BE IN BIG A TROUBLE LIKE FIRED
BOSNASS STARES AT JARJAR WITH DEADLY LOOK.
JARJAR: KNOW GO CLEAN HIM UP
BOSNASS:NO
WHILE THIS WAS HAPPINING OBI WAN DECIDED TO TEACH ANAKIN HOW TO USE THE FORCE