This is a quick oneshot that didn't quite fit in with my "Me and My Cat" series. Once the image of Gajeel in a host club got in my head I couldn't help but write it out^^ And Pantherlily's touch of sadism shows up. Enjoy! Oh, and of course, I still don't own Fairy Tail.

The Tsundere

By Ice Queen

Characters: Gajeel, Pantherlily, Lucy, Levy

"He's a tsundere." The words were enough to jerk Lily out of the nap he was taking on a bench and look over at the two females that had just entered the diner. Gajeel was off scavenging metal from the locals, and since they took him less seriously whenever Lily was around, he had sent the Exsheed back to the guild. Usually he would have lost his temper and yelled, or beaten the people involved, but when it came to his metal, he took no chances.

"He is not a tsundere," Levy told Lucy, shaking her head and looking close to laughing. "Seriously, I can't even believe you put Gajeel and that word together in the same sentence."

"You didn't see him when his cat showed up!" Lucy said. "He is a total tsundere. If you don't believe me, watch him with Pantherlily sometime," she swore. Lily silently slipped further into the shadows of the table, strangely embarrassed yet entertained by this conversation. "Or better yet, I'll introduce you to another tsundere and you'll see the connection."

"Where have you met a tsundere?" Levy demanded. "Did he seduce you?"

"Of course not!" Lucy said, flushing slightly.

"Oh, so they're not your type, huh?"

"Levy!"

"I bet you like guys like Loke, better, right? Or maybe someone a bit more hotheaded?" the blue hair girl teased.

"This absolutely isn't about me. This is about Gajeel being a tsundere. I mean, look at the evidence! When he was against our guild he was a total jerk, but now that he's on it he's-well, he's still a total jerk, but he hasn't tried to kill anyone yet!"

"Except when he built that metal pool of his," Levy provided.

"Yeah, but he actually uses it," Lucy said. "I saw him pulling out a snack just the other day. I think he uses it as a storage bin."

"See, that makes sense."

"I also saw him trying to throw someone else into it the day before," Lucy added dryly. She groaned as Levy giggled. "It's not funny! He tried to do it to me one time, too, you know!"

"He was just playing, though," Levy said. She sounded so certain that Lily shook his head with reluctant amusement. "I mean, if he really wanted to toss someone in he would have tied their arms and legs together, then added a metal ball and chain, then threw them in!"

"You have really got to lay off the horror novels," Lucy said after staring at her best friend for a long moment.

"I didn't read that in a horror novel," Levy said innocently. "I just figure Gajeel would be more thorough. But anyway," she said. "I still don't see Gajeel as a tsundere. I mean, that's like one of those creepy host guys, right?"

"He's more of an extreme case," Lucy said. "But a total tsundere. Come on, I'll write a letter to Hikari and he'll send Ren over, I'm positive. Then you can see a classic tsundere in work and judge for yourself!"

"Hikari? Is he that Blue Pegasus guy you were telling me about?"

"Yeah!"

"You said he was like a host, too," Levy complained. "If you want me to meet a host why don't we just go out on the town tonight?"

"Sounds great to me!" Lucy said.

"That was what you were after from the beginning, wasn't it," Levy drawled as the two females walked out of the bar, leaving Lily to think.

"What took you so long?" The demand made Gajeel blink as he walked into the diner. The black Exsheed was standing in front of him, an irritated look on his face. "You look like hell, did you go taking things apart again?"

"I told you I was getting something to eat," Gajeel said. "I already tossed it into the pool," he added, wondering why the Exsheed was suddenly getting on him for little things like how he looked.

"C'mon, we're going to the public bath," Lily said, taking to the air and heading for the door.

"What?"

"You gotta get cleaned up."

"What for? It's not like we're going anywhere-"

"We are," Lily said. "We're going to follow your girl to a host club."

"A... what?" Gajeel asked blankly.

"You'll find out."

It was astonishing how Lily tended to get dragged into things, he thought as he shook his head, remembering the scene in the bath. How the hell he had wound up washing Gajeel's hair for him, he still didn't know. But he had threatened to cut it off a few times in the process. It was almost as sharp as the man's personality.

"When I replace my Buster Marm I swear I'm cutting off that mop of yours," he muttered as they headed down the street. The dark look on Gajeel's face got even darker as he realized what part of town they were in.

"What are we doing here?" he asked, eying one smooth looking fellow in a suit with a look of disgust.

"I told you, we're following your girl into a host club," Lily said.

"Does that have anything to do with these weak ass looking bastards?" Gajeel demanded, his tone growing even darker.

Lily pondered explaining the situation then promptly decided not to. Gajeel wasn't the only sadist in this relationship. "Those are the hosts," he said instead. "They make money by flirting with females. Don't you know anything?"

"That means Levy's gone to flirt with one of these weaklings?" Gajeel demanded a bit too loudly.

"Shush!" Lily snapped as he caught sight of two familiar females heading down the street in front of them. "They might notice you!" Although it was shocking that they hadn't already. Gajeel tended to stand out in a crowd wherever he went.

"It's bad enough that she gets followed by fishtail and hat head, but at least they have some sort of magic. A pathetic amount of it, but hell, these guys-" He scowled, watching as Levy and Lucy entered a building, laughing together. "Now what do we do?" he asked Lily.

"We go inside."

"Inside. There," Gajeel clarified, pointing at what was obviously hell on earth to the metal dragon.

"That's right."

"Do I look gay to you?"

"Well your hair does," Lily muttered, grabbing Gajeel from behind and hefting him into the air just inches off the ground.

"Oye! What are you-" Gajeel barely had time to struggle before they were inside the host club, surrounded by pretty boys that smiled and greeted him all at the same time. He glared at them, making them hesitate before one extremely pretty male stepped forward with a flourished bow.

"Sirs, if you would follow me, we'll show you to your booth."

"And you're just jealous because I still have hair," Gajeel told Lily, somehow going back to the conversation from before as they were led to a booth in the back. His eyes wandered the room, stopping on a familiar blue head of hair. Levy and Lucy were surrounded by more of the pretty boys like the one that was leading them. It made his right eye twitch dangerously.

"So, sirs," the pretty man said as he looked at Gajeel before sitting next to Lily instead. "My name is Higgro. I'm the one that usually handles special... cases such as this one."

Gajeel looked at him. "Oye," he said.

"Yes?"

"Shut up and get me some alcohol." The large metal dragon slayer leaned back, his legs spread, his eyes drilling into Higgro's. "And if you try feeding me some gay line I'll shove a metal pole so far up your-"

"Nose," Lily supplied absently, turning to watch the two girls laughing at their hosts.

"Nose?" Gajeel repeated.

"Trust me, nose is a better threat in this case."

"How are you so certain-"

"I was in the military, remember?"

Gajeel gave up on the subject, turning so he could watch the girls as well. His scowl got darker as he saw Levy chatting it up with a blonde man. "Oye, Higgo," he said.

"Higgro, sir."

"Whatever. Who's that blonde guy that's chatting to the blue haired girl over there?"

"Oh? That's Bikko. He's a tsundere. But it looks like she's charming him, doesn't it?" He smiled happily for a moment before Gajeel and Lily looked at him with the exact same expression on their faces. "Why don't I order that alcohol for you?" he asked quickly.

"Make it a double," Gajeel drawled.

"Two of them," Lily said, not really that irritated because, seriously, this was entertaining. He could literally feel the magical energy growing around the metal dragon. It was sharp enough to shave with. When Gajeel jerked he knew something was about to happen.

"That no-good bastard just copped a feel!" the dragon snarled, his hands tightening dangerously on the back of the booth and breaking it. Wooden splinters fell to the ground, unheeded.

"Sir, trust me, no such thing would happen-" Higgro stopped, swallowing loudly as the dragon turned to glower at him.

"Are you saying your eyesight is better than mine?" Gajeel snarled.

"N-No?"

"That's what I thought," Gajeel said.

"Honestly I was hoping you would say yes," Lily told the host.

"And you call me the sadist," Gajeel muttered, turning back to the two girls. After a second a purely evil smile crossed his face and he brought up a single finger, a small magic symbol appearing in front of it.

The bottle that the blonde Bikko was pouring exploded in his face. Levy and Lucy yelped, getting out of the way before the champagne spilled all over them, as well. Bikko started apologizing, bowing several times before heading towards Gajeel's table. He started past the table only to trip and fall flat on his face.

Lily glanced down just in time to see a metal pole slip back under the table. Gajeel had used the studs on his boots again.

"Bikko! Are you okay?" Higgro asked, getting to his feet to help the other male up.

"It was like something tripped me," the blonde muttered, glowering at Gajeel for no apparent reason. For a second Lily was positive that the man knew what had happened, but there was no possible way. Gajeel was sitting at least five feet away from where the man had tripped. "I'm fine," he muttered, shoving Higgro away from him.

"You aren't fine, your nose is bleeding!" Higgro said. "Why don't you sit down and we'll patch you up?"

"I don't need it," Bikko muttered, starting for the back again. As soon as he took another step he plummeted forward again, falling flat on his face a second time. Gajeel's chuckle had both males looking at him.

"Maybe you should check your shoelaces or something," the metal dragon suggested. The so-called tsundere looked down, only to get hit on the back of the knees with another metal pipe and fall to his hands and knees. "Guess that's not it," Gajeel told him.

Lily snorted, an evil grin pulling at his lips. There were a lot of people that had come to the conclusion that he was the kinder of the pair, and he enjoyed that fact most of the time. It came in handy with his new size. But this, this was funny. Besides, if Gajeel said he had copped a feel, he had definitely copped a feel.

The two males were so busy tormenting the hosts that they never even realized that Lucy and Levy had already left long before.

"See? Gajeel would never have copped a feel like that," Levy said, feeling fully justified. "He's not a tsundere."

"That was so irritating! I knew I should have called Hikari," Lucy ranted. "And he got champagne all over my new boots! Do you have any idea how much I spent on these? But I still say he's a tsundere."

"Well, I will admit that there was this one moment..." Levy said slowly. "During the Battle of Fairy Tail? I was telling him I could get him out so he could join the fight and he did this-this gruff little 'Not that I really care' thing..."

"See! There's your proof!"

"Yeah but I could never, ever picture him inside a host club. Ever."

"Well, that's true," Lucy said reluctantly. "I mean, it'd probably be destroyed in a matter of minutes."

Strangely, the building that they had just come out of collapsed right that moment, leaving the two females looking at each other blankly. "You don't think," Levy started out.

"Oh, would you look at the time!" Lucy said. "We need to get home now!" And she promptly grabbed Levy by the arm and raced away.