AN: Jimmy is one of my favorite characters, and I wish that we got to see more of him. It was also strange searching through my siddur to find an adequate title.
The title is from a Jewish tradition for mourning the dead.
Disclaimer: I am most definitely not Eric Sera Gamble, Ben Edlund, nor Jeremy Carver.
Title: Yahrzeit
Word Count: 430
Summary: Castiel sometimes feels echoes of Jimmy. Drabble.
They're quick.
A flash reminiscent to Hunger's control with the meat—Castiel could almost feel as though Jimmy remained inside.
But Jimmy's dead. Castiel's wearing his skin. The mortal was dead.
Yet he could feel them. Those curious human flashes of memory and feeling.
A young girl crying nearby, all alone. Her fair hair falling over her face. "Daddy's here," the foreign feeling said inside. Castiel stood still and solemnly looked out at her. "Claire baby, I'm here." Momentarily he wasn't an Angel of The Lord anymore, he was a father wanting to go over to care for his crying child. "Shh," Jimmy soothed. He knelt and pulled his daughter into a hug. "I'm here. I'm not going to leave."
Then the feeling was gone.
Or there would be a woman walking by with blonde hair dancing behind her. Something about the smile or eyes would draw at him, creating an odd sense of pain underneath his breastbone. "Amelia, I'm so sorry," Jimmy said. "Oh, god, I'm so sorry." A lone hand was raised, as if he was going to reach out to her. A million different scenes played out on his mind, all about Jimmy and his family—the love and happiness feeling real to him, too.
Memories whipped by in his mind like something from the television. Bumping into Amelia at a church luncheon… Kneeling down in front of the love of his life, a ring shaking in his cupped hands…cradling a mewling newborn in his arms, marveling at how new and perfect she was … The memories were growing and he was drowning in them. It was all real, it was all human. Those emotions were all a part of the human experience.
A solid hand suddenly clamped him on the shoulder. "Cas." Dean's voice broke through the haze. "You okay there, man?" Castiel turned his head and saw hard green eyes and a worried scowl.
"Yes," he responded stiffly, distancing himself from Jimmy. "I'm fine."
He was not human. He was not Jimmy. Jimmy was dead. Jimmy might as well had died the day he agreed to let Castiel inside him again.
He was fine.