"He's dead. Red John is dead."
She looked up at him. In this moment, suddenly, the entire world changed completely. There was no more evil, no more wrong in this moment. There was only justice, and peace, and release. She looked up at him, and for the first time in well over a year, saw clarity when she looked at his face.
"Jane," she breathed, turning her body to face him. He grabbed one of her hands, gently squeezing it as they stared at each other, meaning she saw the moment when his eyes shifted from her eyes to her lips, and meaning he saw the moment when she leaned toward him. When Jane tilted his head and their lips touched for the first time, she was almost tempted to keep her eyelids open so she could watch, but when he pulled away, she wanted to keep them closed, hoping it wasn't over.
But then he kissed her again, and she felt his tongue, and suddenly she felt cold.
Shifting back, she whispered, "I can't do this."
Jane frowned. "Hey, hey, what- did I do something wrong?"
As she tugged her hand out of his grasp, she said, "I can't... I'm sorry. I can't do this." Lisbon covered her mouth, and tears sprung up in her eyes.
"Lisbon, I'm sorry, I thought-"
"No, no, I can't do this!" she cried. She couldn't leave the room fast enough.
"I need to talk to you."
She looked up at him. His palm was flat on the edge of the desk, and when he had spoken his voice had been soft.
"About what?" she asked, gathering the files she was working on into a pile, and shoving them into a manila folder before she smiled pleasantly up at him.
"I think you know."
Her smile faded. It had been two weeks since it had happened, and they had both managed to ignore it for a while; there was still piles of paperwork associated with Red John stacked around the bullpen - Lisbon had barely had time to sleep. In the rare moment that they had a break, Lisbon interacted with Jane the same way she always had, refusing to acknowledge the want to shy away.
"Jane, I'm really busy."
"I know. But we need to talk."
She tapped a pen nervously on her desk. "Um, is it really that important?"
He laughed as his way of an answer. "I'm gonna come back here at two, then we'll go for a walk, okay?"
There was no reply.
However, when two o'clock rolled by, Lisbon was waiting nervously at her desk, her finger clutching her cross necklace. She was murmuring under her breath.
"Didn't know you talked to yourself."
"Jane! Holy crap!" Lisbon exclaimed. "You scared the shit out of me!"
He grinned at her, as if it was his greatest pleasure. "Ready to go?"
The cross slid from her fingers as she stood up, Jane's hand lingering on the small of her back as they walked out of her office.
"Can we sit?" Her voice was quiet and quivering, and her hand shook as it grasped tightly onto her cup of coffee.
They sat down next to each other on a bench overlooking a park. Two young kids, brother and sister, chased each other back and forth across the grass.
"So."
"So."
"Wanna talk about what happened the other week?" Jane asked, raising his tea, as if he was going to take a sip, but stopping short.
"Specifically?" She was stalling.
"Oh, you know, when I kissed you, then you ran off crying?"
"Oh, that."
"Yeah." He turned his head to face her, amused.
"Uh... I don't know, what happened..."
"You don't know?"
She glared at him. "Stop." She paused to drink some of her coffee, then looked back at him again. "Um... I feel like you didn't mean to do it."
"Mean to do what?"
"Kiss me."
"What?"
"Let me explain, please." Lisbon looked at the ground. "I mean, you had just found out that Red John was dead, and you were really overwhelmed with adrenaline, and in the heat of the moment, you just... kissed me. And I don't think you meant to. And I get it, it happens, but it kind of freaked me out."
"Why?"
"When it happened, when I realised what was happening, I knew it would impact our relationship, and... I don't know, I was scared of what would happen, especially because things are supposed to be so good now. And so I freaked out.
"I'm okay now, it's okay now, Jane. We're back to normal, and we can forget it ever happened."
"You done?"
Lisbon frowned, but nodded.
Jane took a deep breath. "I would do it again in a heartbeat."
"Huh?"
"Kiss you. I have been waiting years to do that. Kiss you. Red John was the only thing stopping me, and he's gone. And I want to kiss you. And it scares me to say that, still, but it wasn't a mistake."
She gasped. "No. No, Jane-"
"Lisbon-"
"Jane, seriously, stop!" She stood up. "It's not... this is... Jane, we are kidding ourselves. This isn't normal, this isn't how it works in real life."
He stood up too, now. "What are you on about?"
"You kissed me for no reason other than to-"
"How don't you understand?" Jane interrupted. "I didn't do it in the heat of the moment, I did it because I'm in love with you, and I'm finally able to act on that!"
"What?" she whispered, then, louder, exclaimed, "what?" She shook her head in disbelief. "No. No."
"Why are you being so incredulous?"
"How am I supposed to believe you?"
"How am I supposed to make you believe me? Answer me that, and I'll do it."
And in her mind, Lisbon said the words. You kiss me.
But she had already run away again.
By the time a brewing storm finally rolled in, Lisbon was already tipsy; trying to numb her brain and forget about him, she had occupied herself with cheap comedies on TV and several glasses of wine. She was willing to do anything in order to not think about him.
So, when she heard a knock at the door over the sound of booming thunder, and had opened the door to find a slightly dishevelled and damp Jane at the door, she tried to close it again before either of them had said a single word. However, Jane managed to stop the door with his foot before it completely closed.
"Hey, no, come on," he said, pushing the door back open again. "We still need to talk."
"I don't think we do, actually."
"We were in the middle of a conversation, then you ran away - running isn't going to suddenly end our problem at hand."
"Really? It's seemed to work perfectly fine for you in the past." A streak of lightning lit up the sky, followed by the distant rumble of thunder.
Jane sighed, his eyes tired. "Lisbon, please. Just talk to me."
"There's nothing to talk about, Jane!" she replied, but her words were drowned out by another explosion of thunder.
"What?"
"There is nothing to talk about!"
"What was that?" he yelled over the loud chaos in the sky above them.
Lisbon roughly pulled him into the house, slamming the door behind herself. "I said, there is nothing left to talk about," she repeated, her words barely audible. Her eyes fell to her feet.
He took in her appearance; she was dressed in an oversized shirt and leggings, and a blanket was draped over her shoulders, swallowing her so she looked small.
"Obviously there's still talking to do if you believe that I, that I what, I only kissed you because it was the heat of the moment, that I would have kissed anyone who was with you in that moment?"
"Jane, I don't want to fight about this," she murmured.
"Who said we had to fight to fix this? It's simple," Jane said softly, grabbing her right hand. "Tell me what I need to do in order for you to understand that this is what I want. That this is right, that it's okay. That I feel this way about you all the time, and that I have forever."
"Jane..."
"Tell me."
Lisbon didn't know what to say. She felt like crying for some reason, so she closed her eyes so no tears would slip out. She didn't respond, and her head remained ducked. Because of this, when Jane lifted her chin with his free hand, she didn't realise he was about to kiss her again until his lips caressed hers. She felt the breath being knocked out of her.
It was over before it began, and was quickly followed by Jane's whispering voice saying, "I really do love you. I know you can't see that but you mean the world to me."
She finally opened her eyes. "Stop being stupid," she mumbled, her voice wavering and her eyes glassy, and she closed the short distance between them so she could throw her arms around his neck and kiss him again. The blanket that had been across her shoulders slid to the ground around them. She sighed. "Red John's really dead."
"Red John is really dead."
"And you really love me?"
"I really love you."
"I believe you."