Title: Vigil
Author: Prue Halliwell
Feedback: Appreciated and replied to if given a contact address. :) Here or sydneyvaughn@yahoo.com
Classification: CarLo; angst
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: None of this is mine, though I pray nightly for Lorenzo to materialize.
Distribution: Anywhere, as long as you ask permission first.
Written: January 21-23, 2004
Summary: Lorenzo keeps watch over that which is most precious to him.
A/N: This is set right after the 1/20 show, when Lorenzo is watching over a sleeping Carly.
***********
He wouldn't sleep tonight.
Not that he'd slept much at all in recent days. He'd been far too busy worrying about Carly. Just as he was now, and just as he would be for the rest of his life.
He'd never even fathomed what his love was doing to her, and if he'd known sooner how completely it was destroying her he would've backed off long ago. Nothing in the world could've made him harm her, but he'd unwittingly done so.
Maybe if I hadn't been so wrapped up in my feelings and what I wanted, I would've noticed, he thought to himself as he rearranged her covers for the second time.
She looked so tiny and peaceful lying in his big bed in his oversized pajamas. A far cry from just a couple of hours ago, when he didn't know what to do or say to calm her down.
In that moment, he had felt like the lowest creature on the face of the earth. He promised himself he would do whatever was right for her, not just what he thought was right. It had gone on long enough, and if she didn't want him, he would simply have to resign himself to the way things were.
Even if that meant being without her.
Tonight she couldn't stop him from loving her and watching over her till morning. Even when the morning promised to seal his fate, to leave him alone, bereft of the one thing he loved more than his own life.
He wondered in vain why he'd finally found love again, only to have so many obstacles in his path. No woman before or since Sophie had captivated him so, had made him feel so alive. Like he'd finally found his purpose, and it was to love her and only her for the rest of his life.
That was why his heart was shattering into a million pieces and he was powerless to stop it. Only three women had ever truly owned his heart. One had died, one was his niece, and the other would most likely walk out the door tomorrow, back to a man that didn't truly love her.
He wouldn't beg. At least not for anything except for Carly to be true to herself and her heart. That's all he'd ever wanted, especially since he'd felt sure her truth included him.
But he wasn't sure of many things anymore. The rug had been pulled from beneath him, and it was all he could do to regain his balance.
He'd let so many things slide in the pursuit of a woman he couldn't have. He'd neglected his work, his niece, the reason he'd come to Port Charles in the first place, and he'd almost died several times for his trouble.
It wasn't Carly's fault though, he was the single-minded one, and there was no one to blame but himself. Even so, he didn't regret trying. To him, she was worth dying for a million times over for one look, one touch, one kiss.
Only she couldn't see her worth, beaten down and broken as she was by Sonny. He couldn't save her from her choices, because she was the only one that could make them.
And he would let her, come tomorrow. Even if it killed him to watch her leave, his word would be kept.
Tonight he would keep vigil over his precious light, and pray for the strength to live without her.
End
Author: Prue Halliwell
Feedback: Appreciated and replied to if given a contact address. :) Here or sydneyvaughn@yahoo.com
Classification: CarLo; angst
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: None of this is mine, though I pray nightly for Lorenzo to materialize.
Distribution: Anywhere, as long as you ask permission first.
Written: January 21-23, 2004
Summary: Lorenzo keeps watch over that which is most precious to him.
A/N: This is set right after the 1/20 show, when Lorenzo is watching over a sleeping Carly.
***********
He wouldn't sleep tonight.
Not that he'd slept much at all in recent days. He'd been far too busy worrying about Carly. Just as he was now, and just as he would be for the rest of his life.
He'd never even fathomed what his love was doing to her, and if he'd known sooner how completely it was destroying her he would've backed off long ago. Nothing in the world could've made him harm her, but he'd unwittingly done so.
Maybe if I hadn't been so wrapped up in my feelings and what I wanted, I would've noticed, he thought to himself as he rearranged her covers for the second time.
She looked so tiny and peaceful lying in his big bed in his oversized pajamas. A far cry from just a couple of hours ago, when he didn't know what to do or say to calm her down.
In that moment, he had felt like the lowest creature on the face of the earth. He promised himself he would do whatever was right for her, not just what he thought was right. It had gone on long enough, and if she didn't want him, he would simply have to resign himself to the way things were.
Even if that meant being without her.
Tonight she couldn't stop him from loving her and watching over her till morning. Even when the morning promised to seal his fate, to leave him alone, bereft of the one thing he loved more than his own life.
He wondered in vain why he'd finally found love again, only to have so many obstacles in his path. No woman before or since Sophie had captivated him so, had made him feel so alive. Like he'd finally found his purpose, and it was to love her and only her for the rest of his life.
That was why his heart was shattering into a million pieces and he was powerless to stop it. Only three women had ever truly owned his heart. One had died, one was his niece, and the other would most likely walk out the door tomorrow, back to a man that didn't truly love her.
He wouldn't beg. At least not for anything except for Carly to be true to herself and her heart. That's all he'd ever wanted, especially since he'd felt sure her truth included him.
But he wasn't sure of many things anymore. The rug had been pulled from beneath him, and it was all he could do to regain his balance.
He'd let so many things slide in the pursuit of a woman he couldn't have. He'd neglected his work, his niece, the reason he'd come to Port Charles in the first place, and he'd almost died several times for his trouble.
It wasn't Carly's fault though, he was the single-minded one, and there was no one to blame but himself. Even so, he didn't regret trying. To him, she was worth dying for a million times over for one look, one touch, one kiss.
Only she couldn't see her worth, beaten down and broken as she was by Sonny. He couldn't save her from her choices, because she was the only one that could make them.
And he would let her, come tomorrow. Even if it killed him to watch her leave, his word would be kept.
Tonight he would keep vigil over his precious light, and pray for the strength to live without her.
End