Disclaimer: Nope, don't own Legend of Korra.
Author's Note: I am so angry at the people who are ripping into Mako for breaking up with Korra in season two, episode five. I don't even ship it that much and I'm mad. It seems that there are people who have no goddamn idea what stress can do to a relationship, and even the aftermath. What not knowing about what's to come in your future can do to your mind. How it can change people, the relationship; how you can lose yourself. I have been there. And it can do awful things.
FIRESTORM
The look on her face still haunts him in his sleep, and in small whispers throughout the day.
What's most frightening was how the power in her voice slipped away. How someone so strong and unyielding almost withered into something completely unrecognisable before him. He still doesn't know how he was able to continue working through the rest of the day after the event.
When he looks to the Fire Ferrets poster as he enters his apartment, Mako knows then. He could – and continues – to throw himself head first into his work for his brother. For the safety that the job provides them, because he'd be damned if he let them both end up on the streets again, freezing and starving.
Korra never understood that, for she was always protected and had everything given to her; and he shouldn't have expected her to.
He sees Bolin's costume – if one could call it that – lying haphazardly on the chair, crinkled. He feels the corner of his mouth twitch as he reaches and grabs them, moving to put them on his bed. It's when he gets there does a sinking feeling suddenly hit him in the stomach.
He doesn't even know the character's name.
Has he been so absorbed in trying to be the responsible one that he's not even paying attention to his brother's life? That he's not actually ever listening to Bolin when he comes in, prattling on about his day excitedly? What kind of brother – what kind of person is he now? Is he really that focused on trying to do the right thing in the last few days, let alone overall?
Mako grits his teeth and slams the door shut behind him, ignoring how the rush of wind that follows reminds him of Korra.
He doesn't even reach the chair before he ends up on the floor, curled up and digging his fingernails into his face. There are no tears and no hiccups, but he can feel his blood pumping through his ears like the roaring of fire. His head hurts, and he feels sick. The world feels like too much, and the walls in the room feel like they're closing in on him.
And yet he is still on his feet and cooking dinner when Bolin comes home, just like he always does.
"I'm telling you, it was the Agni Kai Triad who executed the bombing. I know what I saw!"
One of his co-workers suggests that it was his own fire that they saw, or the blast. After all, there's a reason that they're all metalbenders.
Mako doesn't bend beneath their battering.
The investigators then look at him with a confused expression, even days after the actual attack. They're so convinced that it's the North – because who else would it be? Mako still doesn't think its right to jump straight to the apparent conclusion, at least without supporting and strong evidence.
Lin regards him carefully, noting the way his jaw is set, the stiff posture and the unwavering determination in his eyes. It takes five seconds for her to reach a decision and speak to the others firmly, "I don't think it's wise to disregard Mako here. After all, none of you slackers actually saw the culprit, and he was once part of the Triple Threat Triad."
Mako sees how one of his co-worker's eyebrows shoots up. Another makes a dismissive noise and comments on how he is a rookie – they really love to drive that point home. And yet Mako never sways or buckles underneath the pressure – both friendly and malicious – that they put on him. The value he places on his work might be seen as too high to some, but they've never lived his life.
"You know what you must do," she says, turning back to him; and if he squints, he can see a hint of concern and even understanding in her cold eyes, "If you can construct a solid case here, I will promote you to detective and we will further our investigation. For now, no one is to attack or arrest Northerners. Instead, you will focus on the recent spirit attacks. Is that understood?"
There's silence, but they all salute and leave; but Mako doesn't get too far.
"Are you alright?" Lin finally asks.
"I have a job to do, Beifong," Mako responds.
Thankfully, she doesn't press any further and moves on with her day, and he doesn't leave his desk until well after the sun is down. To his surprise, though, when he gets home he finds a meal is already waiting for him.
It doesn't take long for his room to be littered with paper, and for photos to be pinned up to his wall. He knows the faces – he's seen them in the street fights from long ago – but it doesn't make sense that they would attack the Southerners during the peace march. Most ideas of Fire Nation supremacy had vanished long ago.
"Maybe they were hired," Bolin says, gesturing to the photographs with his chopsticks.
"Who's the policeman here?" Mako shoots back, trying to keep his voice light.
"I'm just saying," he continues, slurping down green noodles, "No one else wants to fight the Southern Water Tribe. The Earth Kingdom doesn't care, and the Fire Nation isn't the same Fire Nation in the stories we heard as kids. And as chief, I'm sure Unalaq has a long reach, and he's pretty smart."
Hearing that name and seeing that man's face flash through his mind brings up another that he doesn't want to see.
"Think about the way he manipulated Korra –" Bolin stops when he realises he's going too far, and instead looks back down at his food. He misses her constant, unwavering presence, but he loves his brother more, and he will be there for him. He exhales softly and then adds, "Sorry, bro."
Mako's fought so hard to shut off Korra that just remembering the events make his stomach turn again. He acknowledges the apology with a short nod and then chooses to busy himself, reshuffling and reorganising the papers in his hands. His head feels like its buzzing. He's stressed, he thinks, but only a bit. There's been worse times.
When the silence is teetering on unbearable, Mako speaks, "It just doesn't make sense that they'd be hired. If Unalaq wanted to create a diversion or make tensions worse, wouldn't he have Red Monsoon Triad go at it instead? They're all waterbenders, surely some of them are Northerners and would've gone for it..."
"Maybe that would've been too obvious?" Bolin suggests.
"Or maybe Unalaq's trying to create something bigger than a civil war."
The way in which Mako mentions that suggestion worries Bolin all the more. He starts, clearing his throat after finishing the remainder of his delicious noodles, "Maybe but uh... Are you, y'know... Are you okay? I mean uh... since the thing..."
"It had become a leech, Bo," Mako spits, placing the papers beside him and standing to leave, "Leave it."
Bolin tries to imagine such a relationship being akin to the blood-sucking leech he'd pulled off at least a week ago, but it doesn't come to mind. Not when they'd always seemed so happy, and not when he knows that they are, in their own ways, both one of a kind. And strong. And passionate, maybe even dangerous.
In the end, though, he stands and leaves the room, looking over the faces from his past once more.
What could he have done better?
It's the question that plagues him most nights, when he tries to sleep, and before Korra's face haunts him.
What could he have done better, to be a good boyfriend?
Mako thought he'd been doing the right things. Whenever she asked him for advice, he gave it to her as he saw fit. He always reminded her of her duty as the Avatar, because that's the one thing she values above everything else in the world. He was there when her family had been wrongfully convicted of treason, and he was there helping her Father off the boat. He would've done so much more, just to see her smile.
Maybe his idea of a good boyfriend's wrong, and always has been. He remembers that he tried to do the same with Asami, and even that went south, again of his own accord... but for different reasons.
He turns over, and in the moon's light, he sees the photos of the Agni Kai Triad. Some of their faces are partially obscured by shadows or gloss, but the man he saw that night stares right back at him, a small smirk on his face. Mako scowls in return.
If he's a bad boyfriend, then he must be a bad person too.
He's a bad person for letting his parents die, and for not looking after Bolin to the full extent that he could. They could've found an orphanage, he's sure – instead they stayed out on the streets. He's a bad person for hurting two girls that he cares about, for helping the downfalls of things that they care about. And surely he's an even worse person for not knowing what's going on in his brother's life.
For caring about nothing but his own sense of duty... trapped in himself.
Part of him disagrees... because he knows he cares about so much, and by trying to hold onto all of that, he feels like he's going to drop something. He already has dropped something.
If he focuses, he swears he can hear his Father's voice, telling him that everyone has to work hard to live a good life. If he focuses even harder, he can see his Mother's face, and she says something about balance, 'like the Avatar and the two worlds'.
Mako throws the tiniest fireball at the bomber man, but there is no satisfaction as the edges of the photograph burn and curl downward.
The world is too dark and too wide.
Its night and he is alone, behind a warehouse and armed with a sound recorder.
He's told Bolin not to wait up, because he's going on an infiltration mission. Bolin did protest, but the darkness in Mako's voice caused him to go quiet and still.
He has no solid evidence other than his own word that it was the Agni Kai Triad. He has no solid visuals except for the fire that'd been launched his way when he attempted his pursuit. No one believes him, though Lin has faith in him; and that's enough to try something stupid. Stupid, if she knew and it didn't work, anyway.
He sees a single sentry posed at the entrance, pacing back and forth, clearly bored. The sentry yawns and rubs at his eyes, long enough for Mako to get within a good distance and throw a bolas at him. To his luck and surprise, the sentry – a woman, he sees – doesn't scream, even when she hits the ground.
Everything's a blur after that – how he got her around the corner, or why he's summoned fire and is holding it unusually close to her face. It illuminates the knife scar curling around her jaw. Mako speaks, "You will tell me everything you know about the attacks during the Southern Water Tribe peace protest."
The woman laughs, and her eyebrows furrowed, "You really think that will frighten me?"
"Tell me everything you know."
"This isn't the talented and thoughtful Mako I remember from the Triple Threat Triad," she snits, licking her teeth, "You were young then, but not rash, not like this... authority that you've somehow become. Do you even have backup? Are you really considering hurting me just for information? We are both firebenders, we are kin."
"Speak!"
It's only when his hand is close enough to her face that she can feel it beginning to burn her skin, and when his hand around her throat tightens that her mind scrambles for answers, "Unalaq paid us to do it. The Red Monsoon Triad wouldn't, they're mostly Southerners, and even the Northerners there weren't for the idea. He has ordered us to bomb all and any peace rallies held by both sides."
This makes his eyebrows rise in surprise. Even the North?
"He wants complete control of the Water Tribes, and he will do anything to get it. He's almost like Tarrlok," she spits, turning her face away from the bright flame, "I don't know any more than that. He is secretive, he keeps his plans close to himself. The only other thing he mentioned was spirits."
"Tell me about them."
"I don't know enough to say."
"You know enough to mention it," he threatens, tightening his grip on her throat again for a fraction of a second.
"He doesn't believe the worlds can co-exist anymore. He believes the Avatar Cycle has failed completely, and that it needs to be stopped by any means necessary. The spirits are what make the Avatar, and so they will undo her. He intends to rip the worlds apart."
There's a lump in Mako's throat as he lets the woman go.
"You think you're being a hero, trying to save everyone you can get your grubby little hands on. You are not the Avatar. No wonder she left you."
Mako doesn't remember breaking, but he does remember the smell of burning flesh and the woman's scream as he throws fire at her.
When he gets far enough away from the Agni Kai Triad hideout, his legs buckle and his stomach empties itself. The world around him spins.
What happened to me?
The next morning, he hands in the recording to Lin. She listens and questions him about the last half, to which he cultivates the most convincing lie he can. But he's very sure that she doesn't believe him; either way, she doesn't press the issue. Instead, she orders her all officers, except Mako, to be ready to leave within an hour to find the Agni Kai Triad leader.
She does, though, take him aside and into her office, slamming the door shut behind her. The sound makes Mako jump, and he spins to see her leaning against it, preventing him from leaving. He avoids her gaze by looking to the side, "You are going to talk to me. Right now, about everything that is bothering you. I can't have you be like this anymore. It's not good for you. Bad feelings swirl around, like a storm; but they'll destroy you from the inside out. Talk to me."
"Don't you know what it feels like when something good ends?" Mako asks quietly.
Lin silences at that, because she knows, but doesn't know how to respond.
"I can't help but think... that things could've been done better."
"Of course things could've been done better, but you did what you thought was right for every moment of that relationship, just like she did. Just like Tenzin and I did. There is no knowing what the future holds. All you can do is make the most of it as it comes."
He looks up at her, "I hate not knowing what the future holds."
The corner of her lips curve up into a smirk, "Kid, no one does. But you make do with what's given, and what's been done. You can't go about thinking about what could've been, or what's going to happen next; and you certainly can't stay situated in the moment and beat yourself up over it. I know someone who did that once... and that person nearly lost herself."
"Is that how you got your scars?" he asks, even though he thinks it's the wrong question.
"Sort of. I think I've got a new one forming on my arm from the spirit attacks. They're increasing in number, and we still don't have a proper way to subdue them. Waterbenders don't know this 'technique' that you told me of."
There's silence again, at least until she steps aside and opens the door, gesturing for him to go back to his desk and work.
Before he's fully out the door, though, she seizes him by the shoulder, spins him around a little, and stuffs a new badge in his hand, "Good job, Detective Mako."
For the first time in many, many days – weeks? – he smiles and feels happy, if only for a while.
"Have you heard from Korra?"
Bolin's face drops when the question falls from Mako's mouth, and the asker is just as surprised. There's a few moments where the only sound comes from the radio, dictating the latest pro-bending match; at least, until Bolin speaks, "About a week ago, yeah. She came by to discuss things with Varrick and Asami. Oh, and she took Naga off my hands."
"She gave you Naga?"
"To look after. Naga mainly stayed with Varrick, he knows what polar bear-dogs like to eat and do more than me," he clears his throat and scratches the back of his neck, "But, um, yeah, she's been to the Fire Nation and back, but I don't know if she managed to get their help for the war. She's become really single-minded about it. She apparently got swallowed by a spirit on the way to the Fire Nation, too -"
"Swallowed by a spirit? And you didn't once think to tell me?"
Bolin shrinks in his seat. Mako follows suit thereafter.
He then presses again, "Has anything been done about her safety?"
Bolin regards him carefully, quirking an eyebrow.
"Remember that mission I went on and you wanted to come? I found out some things..."
And when he delivers all of his information to Bolin, the younger covers his mouth and frowns. Mako glances up from his food and notices that it's as though Bolin didn't know in the first place, "Hasn't Lin said anything to you, or the others? Hasn't Korra told you?"
"Well, if I think about it, there were more people sneaking around, watching... and they had a badge. But Korra didn't say anything to me, or Asami. Maybe she doesn't know."
"Of course she knows," Mako retorts, looking back down at his food, "Why else would she be so single-minded about her task?"
"Because she has a home and a large family to defend," Bolin says gently.
Mako mulls over the statement for many moments before realising that he didn't understand that, just like she didn't understand what it was like to starve and worry about falling asleep.
Bolin then offers, "If those people are following her, then what you found out must've been acted on. Maybe they're just not telling her because if she found out, she'd break all their faces in."
The smell of burning flesh suddenly invaded his nostrils again. Mako pushes himself away from the table, chair legs screeching over the wooden floor, and tries to compose himself. He sees Bolin move to ask what's wrong, but he's thankful when he decides against it.
It's only when everything normalises does Mako look back at his brother, who offers him a small smile. It makes him smile in return, even as Bolin reaches out and takes the now empty dishes off the table.
"Hey, Bo... What's your character's name?"
When the earthbender faces him again, his face bright and with a smile that looks ready to split his face open, Mako decides it's the right question to have asked.
"Nuktuk, Hero of the South!"
Mako's on patrol when the memory comes out of nowhere.
He remembers standing on one of the piers in Republic City, a month after the Equalist Revolution came to a close. He remembers Amon still being fresh on his mind, and Korra standing beside him, looking out to the water and still congratulating herself on a job well done.
Amon woke a fear in him that'd been buried so deeply within him, he didn't even know it existed. He couldn't – and still cannot imagine a life without firebending... and that nearly happened to him. He felt – and still feels for those who were unable to see Korra and have their bending restored.
He remembers the question falling from his mouth before he realised what he'd been saying, "What would you do if Amon had equalised me?"
He remembers her jabbering halting and the smell of water and oil from boats. Then he remembers how her hand felt in his when she took it, stared at him and, with a completely serious tone, said to him, "I would've torn the world apart."
Her words echo through his mind. He raises a hand and tries to claw them out of his skull, but they don't leave. A lot of things she's said have never left, like betrayal.
But he'd only been doing what he felt was right.
Mako is so wrapped in the sudden feeling of sickness, in trying to block Korra from his mind again that he completely misses the theft behind him, and almost misses the explosion before him at the Northern Water Tribe peace rally; even here, Unalaq and Korra are affecting him.
She might've torn the world apart if he'd ever had his bending stripped from him, but she's definitely tearing his world apart simply by being the ghost that never leaves.
Soon, he starts hearing her voice constantly.
Lin's ordered him to have the day off, and just as well.
Mako simply sits in the living room, staring idly at the wall opposite him. The battle to fight off Korra's voice is hard and tiresome. He accidentally revealed this to Lin when he started snapping at nothing in the office, only to then claim it was Korra.
It's small things, initially. When he wakes up, and she bids him good morning, only for him to realise she's not there. A joke, or her laughter. But by the end of the day, it is always dark, sour; feelings that he didn't realise he carried through that relationship. Like how she never once asked him about his own problems. How it had always been completely about her.
The last thing he always hears, though, is the way her voice disintegrates into weakness.
He tries to make food, but ends up burning it by mistake. Mako even attempts to clean up and organise his files, but by the end, some things are singed, as though he is losing control of his firebending. That thought terrifies him. What will he be – who will he be if he does lose it?
The door suddenly bursts open, and his head snaps to it.
A blast of water then hits him in the face and forces him into the wall.
"Where is my husband?"
Mako didn't think that Eska would come all the way to Republic City to find Bolin – alone, without her twin brother – and yet here she is. And when he refuses to answer, he's slammed with another strong jet of water into the opposite side of the room.
Eska hisses, "I know he lives here! Where is he?! We were supposed to get married!"
Before she can continue on, Mako manages to come to his senses and sends a stream of fire towards her. It catches her off guard, but only for a moment. She blocks the following attacks, forcing the pair out into the hallway.
He doesn't know why, but Eska's presence breaks him further, "Supposed to get married – you didn't even ask if he wanted to! The world is not all about you! He doesn't like you anymore, Eska! He is not your property, Water Tribe royalty or not!"
His own voice begins to frighten him.
Mako attempts to generate lightning, but when it fails, he instead sends a harsher, faster and more violent barrage of flames at Eska, unable to hear her surprised cries or even detect the smell of burning. Not even when he has her in the corner, elbow pressing into her throat and flames licking at her face has he noticed that perhaps he's lost it again, "You stay away from my brother, you got that? Or there will be hell to pay!"
It's only in the silence, when Korra's laughter appears again, does he back off, realising that he's snapped again.
"I'm sorry," he stutters, fire dying down immediately as he takes several steps back.
Eska is burnt, but not as severely as the Agni Kai Triad sentry. She is shaking, her makeup is still smudged all over her face – but now that Mako has backed off, her trademark, monotonous voice and creepy smirk returns, even through the pain, "Don't you want to know where Korra is?"
Mako moves to question the statement, but before he's able to, Eska smashes the neighbouring window open with her elbow and leaps out.
He has no heart to follow.
It's here that he realises he couldn't generate lightning earlier. That he truly is unbalanced. Stressed. Not the same.
This time, when he falls to the floor and curls into a ball, digging his nails so hard into his face that some break the skin, he does feel a few tears fall.
His world is almost unrecognisable.
The two words Mako never, ever wanted to hear still happened.
"You're fired."
Lin is gone. She did not find out enough information, nor solve the bombing attacks fast enough. She's gone off to aid Korra instead, feeling that's where her skills would be most helpful; and she promised to send her regards.
But without Lin there... Mako's descent continued, only faster.
Korra's voice soon turned into Korra herself. Mako occasionally responding soon turned into Mako always snapping back. He fought to do his work, but the quality of his missions was slipping, and every time he got back to his desk, there's twice the paperwork than when he left before.
The Triad groups doubled in size and even began to fight against one another. Prime Minister Raiko tried to help, but there's been assassination attempts. In that aspect, at least, Mako was able to defend Raiko; but his hands now constantly shook. He could no longer generate or even redirect lightning. His control over firebending's slipping.
Someone so talented indeed.
"You can't fire me," Mako says blankly to the new chief of police.
"Oh, but I can," the man replies, "Your intelligence was wrong, about Unalaq, the Agni Kai Triad... about the Avatar's life. Sure, some parts were true – you were right about who bombed the buildings – but there is too much fabrication."
"But it was what the woman said," he states. He believes it to be true still. After all, everything is always about the Avatar.
"It's not that I want to fire you, kid but you are also becoming a liability to the force. You're so stressed out that you can't even function correctly. What happened to the master firebender who did so much for Republic City? You are so brilliant, Mako... but you are not the same anymore. You are volatile. Dangerous. You nearly killed some of your own officers because you couldn't control your fire or help with lightning situations. The law, like your art, needs to be balanced. You are not that anymore, more like a fiery storm... Unsafe."
"Give me time," he tries again, urgency spiking; and she is saying things in his ear, terrible things that make him doubt he ever could be the way he had been, "There's just a lot happening lately, I need time to adjust and catch up."
The chief tuts before sighing, "What was it about Avatar Korra that broke you?"
"I-I'm not broken," Mako chokes.
And yet Korra simply whispers it in his ear again. A stroke to the side of his face. And then a hiss of anger.
Mako swings his arm in an arc, fire propelling from his fist and across the chief and his guards, like a blockade as he shouts, "I am not broken!"
But he is. And he knows it now, as he runs.
And when he stops, in the park and so far away from everything that he considers to be good or grounding, he takes off his detective badge and wonders why Korra inadvertently sent him on such a dark, destructive path.
Who is he anymore?
Asami visits him not too long after he's been fired. She's still as beautiful as he remembers.
But she's not Korra. She never was.
"Hey there, handsome," she says, sitting beside him. She offers him a small, worried smile before placing a hand on his shoulder, "How are you holding up?"
Mako's ashamed – so ashamed – to say that it's Bolin alone who's bringing in household funds. Instead, when the question is redirected to his health, he lies and says he's doing fine. He's trying to relax so that he doesn't feel so stressed, so on edge. But he knows it's not working.
"How's your business deal coming along?" Mako asks.
And like Bolin with Nuktuk, she goes on and on about how more people are buying equipment from Future Industries, and how the company seems to be stabilising. She briefly mentions her Father, but then she coolly slides around the topic of his trial by saying how Varrick's endeavours are going well.
"What about the war?"
She frowns, "Has Lin not told you anything?"
"Lin was fired."
"Even before that?"
He glares. Somewhere in the distance he can hear Korra speaking.
Asami tucks her hair behind her ear and sighs, "The South lost. The Fire Nation has gotten involved and is trying to get Unalaq to surrender. The Earth Kingdom looks to be joining soon. I'm surprised she never told you..." her frown deepens, "Strange how so much can change in a few months, isn't it? A year ago it was Amon and the Equalists, and now it's this."
Mako feels his blood boil. His hands are too hot, "Lin didn't mention a thing to me."
"Maybe she was trying to protect you. Trying to help you get through your problems by keeping you away from the source... She mentioned you were so upset, so stressed..."
"I am not stressed, or upset," he spits.
"We still know you were fighting for the South and investigating the bombings, and the South is grateful."
"Did Korra know?" he presses.
Asami's mouth snaps shut. She runs her fingers through her hair, "Korra wouldn't let us get a word in about you. You are as good as dead to her, Mako; but I think that she still cares about you. Maybe the pain is too great."
Everyone's always worried about the Avatar. Nobody asks about him.
At least, that's what Korra says to him. The more rational part of his mind, although it feels as though its fading, reminds him that his brother asked nearly every day, and Lin asked when she felt it was necessary.
Asami wraps an arm around Mako and places her hand on his face, forcing her to look at him, "You were better together, Mako. You and Korra. The Avatar and a very talented firebender. You were happy... Why did you break up?"
He mumbles, "Too much fighting. Not enough time for each other. So much anger."
But she didn't quite hear him. At least, until he snaps.
"The relationship was toxic, as we were!" he shouts, "It had to be done, for both our sakes!"
Asami looks hurt Korra's behalf. But she understands, because she's watched them both deteriorate. She's seen herself deteriorate underneath her own pressures and concerns. She does not want Future Industries to fail, and she will do whatever she can to protect it.
"It was for the greater good. The greater good... This... poison in us had to bleed out before anything good could come back..."
"Mako..."
He shrugs Asami off and stands. When he looks around the room, he finds his former police files and grabs them. The smell of smoke soon fills the air as he crushes them and burns them in his shaking hands, "Things were supposed to get better after that. We were both supposed to get through our jobs, sort things out and then come back together, if we wanted. It wasn't... supposed to be like this."
Asami stands and follows him across the room, "If it wasn't supposed to be like this, then why didn't you go back to her when she needed you?"
"So I screwed up then?" he retorts. The flames seep through his fingers, "Why is it always the guys that always have to go running back to the woman that they love? Shouldn't the things that you love come back to you?"
"Sometimes things need to be worked for. The world doesn't move into place for you, you move it into what you want," Asami says. She then grabs his other arm, flinching when he pushes her away, "Korra needs you, Mako. Won't you come back? Even Varrick asks about you. We need you."
"Korra doesn't need me. Korra never needed me. Nobody ever needs me."
The door squeals on its hinges. Bolin stands there with food, and his face looks like it's about to split beneath the weight of his sadness.
"I will always need you, Mako," Bolin chokes, "You're my brother."
Mako throws the ashes of the paperwork to the floor and escapes the apartment before Korra – before he – before something happens. Before someone else gets burnt, and before he completely splits in two. The world he knew, and the people in it, are different; and he doesn't understand anymore.
He's become destructive. A shell.
Mako sometimes, but not always, returns home – to Bolin's home, because it is no longer his. When he does, he is pampered with food, hugs and stories, but then he slinks off again into the night. And every time he does, he hears Bolin wonder where his brother went. There are times he moves to answer, only to find his throat produces no sound, but instead smoke, like a dragon. The self-doubt that he began to feel just before his promotion as detective has almost completely eaten him up.
His arms and hands are covered in burns. Some from the Agni Kai Triad, who remember what he'd done; mostly from himself, out of curiosity, or self-punishment. Mako can't tell which is which anymore. Korra tells him it's for the greater good. Either way, whatever skill he had as a firebender is nearly completely gone.
He is wild and untamed like the element itself. All passion and power, but no control.
He doesn't realise it until half the city is screaming, but there are more spirits now than ever. If he digs back through his memory, he remembers Lin mentioning it a few times. He also remembers her mentioning that they've not devised a way to subdue them. Now the city's not as safe as it had once been.
They rise from the ground and from the water, and no matter what anyone does, they do not leave.
But, they leave him alone. Mako doesn't know why.
Every time he tries to think on it, the Korra that his mind has created instead smooths the hair from his eyes and adjusts the scarf around his neck. She then cuffs him on the shoulder lightly and tells him to go somewhere, or do something; and he will, because he wants to see her smile.
One time he destroyed the Red Monsoon Triad's hideout, just to see her laugh.
Another time, he broke into Cabbage Corp, just to see her wipe tears of mirth from her eyes.
He tried to give the money he stole from them to Asami, then, but she turned him away, horrified.
What do they know?
His hand glows, burning and illuminating a faint light beneath a stone bridge. It's freezing, but the way that the fire feels when he seizes his bicep and hisses through the pain serves as a beautiful contrast.
Where and when did this all begin?
He shakes and shakes in the cold, and his hands are so unstable now. But there is nothing for him to do. No crime to stop, no reports to deliver, no home or brother to care for; no friends to watch out for, no girlfriend to love or keep from making stupid mistakes. Why does he still feel like he is frayed at the seams and about to split apart?
Where did I go?
When he opens his eyes and looks around, he realises he's near Bolin's apartment. He then realises that a spirit is heading in that direction; and an old sense of protection suddenly burns deep within him.
When he makes it to Bolin, he finds that everything is alright. He's listening to the latest pro-bending news, yelling at how a second White Falls Wolfbats team's being formed under Tahno's coaching. He freezes, though, when he realises that Mako is standing there.
They exchange pleasantries – Mako's voice is gravelly – and he's offered something to eat. He doesn't take it, instead looking out the window to find that the spirit that'd been approaching Bolin was turning away. His younger brother then says, "I hope you don't mind if I eat, then! Been a hard day's filming."
"Where is Nuktuk... in his story?" Mako asks, stalking to the other side of the room to stand in Bolin's shadow.
Bolin tells him how he is doing small shoots now, and how the story is over. At that, Mako frowns, even as Bolin continues, telling all sorts of stories. He even speaks of Korra, but to his surprise, Mako does not even twitch. It's as though he's dead.
"Are you alright?" he finally asks.
"What is... the Agni Kai Triad doing?" he says.
Bolin's eyebrows furrow, as though he's slowly piecing together what's happening and what has happened to his brother. He clears his throat and answers as best as he can, "Same old, same old. New feud with the Triple Threat Triad, as far as I know."
"Is Lin doing anything about it?"
It then sinks in.
"Mako... Lin's been gone for months. The Agni Kai Triad are almost all in jail under the chief that kicked you out."
He tilts his head as he says, with smoke seeping from his mouth, "I haven't been kicked out, I'm still detective."
Bolin drops the bowl and grabs Mako by the shoulders, shaking him, "Don't you see what's happened to you?"
Mako shrugs Bolin's hands off of him, under Korra's orders. He feels Korra smile behind him and stands a little straighter, running a burned hand over his hair. He doesn't react when Bolin sees the wounds and splutters, shocked and hurt.
Bolin runs his fingers through his hair and begins to shout, "Mako, this isn't you. This is what things were. You've put yourself in a place in time in the past... To hide? I don't know... This isn't what you are now, slinking about at night, not ever coming home, injuring others and yourself! Your mind – it's broken."
"I'm not broken," Mako states with a little more bite.
"You are... You are, and Korra isn't the same either," he takes his brother's hands and squeezes them, "Come with me. Korra's coming to see Varrick tomorrow to up the military funding. Come say hello, speak to her, see how she is. Maybe you can make each other better and less... strange."
"I'm not broken," he repeats, thereafter adding, "She doesn't need me."
Slowly, Bolin's hands slip away from Mako's.
"May I stay here tonight?"
Bolin sucks in a breath and nods, gesturing to the other rooms. As Mako turns away to go to sleep, he vaguely hears, "Where did my Mako go?"
He is at Bolin's, looking after Pabu for the night – his brother is away for business with Asami – when the radio breaks in with a special report.
There is bile in the back of his throat, threatening to come up. The odd world Mako's made around himself shatters in a blink of an eye, along with Korra's voice, and the glimpses of her he'd see out of the corner of his eyes. Like a popped bubble.
The report continues to flow through his mind, just those few key words. He looks outside and sees that the spirits, which have possessed Republic City, are screaming, and black, and angry, lashing out at everything within their reach. Water rises from the ocean and comes slamming into the buildings. Some circulate around the spirits, the pure, gold colour like –
Mako chokes.
He leaves the apartment, ignoring how Pabu chews on his feet before he completely exits the vicinity. He wanders around the streets, watching people, watching these humans in their grief, and their confusion, and their uncertainty and their joy.
He sees some celebrating the event... Remnants of the Equalists, even.
Mako's attacked them both before he even realises what he's doing. Flesh burns. People scream. His hands tremble. His eyes are wide, deranged, infuriated; hurt. He bares his teeth, and smoke wafts out from his slightly open mouth.
He looks to the other people who didn't leave in fear. There are tears in their eyes. Some children are asking if he was – was – someone special. Others say their hearts bleed for him, because the feelings were always apparent –
He nearly attacks them too, but he manages to regain enough rationality to generate enough fire and propel himself away, onto a neighbouring rooftop.
Mako raises a hand to wipe away the stray tears. He stops and looks at his fingers, some calloused and others burnt. He then looks to the spirits who still avoid his gaze. His voice regains some strength as he questions them, "Where did I go?"
Even when he asked them, the spirits still ignored him.
Even when he needed her the most – and when she needed him – nobody came forward, because nobody was brave enough. Because the toxicity in them both was too strong, and it strangled them.
Too damaged, too... different.
He grits his teeth as he hears the report again in the room below him, crackling and driving itself deep into his skull. Before he knows what he's doing, he's in front of a spirit, suspended in the air by his fire, and creating a firestorm, the likes of which no one has ever seen. It encircles them both, not allowing the spirit to leave and somehow stopping the others from moving at all, as though they're frozen; and it comes closing in around them both.
When he looks into the spirit's eyes, he sees Korra, the real Korra from when he last saw her, sobbing. He understands, then.
They always left him alone – they could never look him in the eye because she lived in them.
The firestorm, bright, dangerous and beautiful, swallows them whole.
"The Avatar is dead."