Final Fantasy: Armageddon
by Bezo
Twenty-three quintillion years ago, in the bar frequented by the pantheon of beings known variously as Aeons, Espers, Summon Monsters, Guardian Forces, Eidolons, and (on one regrettable occasion) Scientologeonspers, a wager was made between two of the most powerful of the aforementioned beings to have ever existed.
Bahamut bet Ultima that eventually the many worlds of Final Fantasies to come would grow too numerous and the people from them too powerful. Ultima bet Bahamut that if that happened, no one would ever try and chronicle it, due to the immense difficulty of the task. If Bahamut won the bet, Ultima would have to buy his beer for the rest of Eternity. If Ultima won, Bahamut would have to wear a silly hat, also for the rest of Eternity. Ixion joked that such an occurrence would likely destroy the universe and everyone in it, but no one understood him, because he was a horse. To their credit, they were all deeply intoxicated at the time and the wager was mostly forgotten. Twenty-three quintillion years later (which is nothing to a Scientologeonsper), they both won the bet.
Or lost it, depending on your perspective.
But this story isn't about the wager; it's about the conditions wherein the wager was won by both parties. One of these conditions is the story itself, chronicled by me, Bezo, ruler of the small and largely forgotten realm of Ultimate Whimsy. The other condition can only be found within the story itself.
It's also the story of quite a lot of other people, so do try and keep up.