Soul of my Soul

Prologue

This is a story of betrayal and pain. My story. The story of how a friend became an enemy and how many things were lost. This is the story of how I died. It is too painful and personal to tell in first person so I'll tell it in third.

Betrayal

Kathryn Janeway was sitting in her quarters on night after an ordinary day in the Delta Quadrant. She'd had a fight with three Borg cubes and Voyager had limped away on one nacelle bleeding plasma from the other. She had ordered that they'd hide in a nebula whilst making repairs until Voyager was fit to fight again.

That was the day hell began for her. She got up and began to get ready for bed. Then she heard a movement behind her. Kathryn turned. There was a masked man standing behind her. He pinned her to the wall. She tried to scream but his hand was over her mouth. "Don't bother sweetheart. The doors are locked and the room's been sound-proofed." He ripped the rest of her uniform off and disposed of his clothing. She struggled and screamed. "Don't bother your knight in shining can't save you this time."

I hardly need to tell you what he did to me you can guess.

"If tell anyone, darling Kathryn, you'll die" he said as he flung her from him onto her bed. She lay there bleeding from where he'd forced his way into her body. He left the room and his footsteps died away. Kathryn Janeway pulled the covers over herself and sobbed herself to sleep.

The masked attacker kept it up for three months. By that time Kathryn was living in constant fear and was getting paranoid. She kept looking over her shoulder even when she sure no no-one was about.

One night Kathryn had the weirdest dream she'd had in a long time. A lucid dream. She wandered aimlessly about the ship stopping in the observation lounge for a moment. The doors hissed open behind her. Tom entered. "Evening Captain." Kathryn responded unconsciously. "Please call me Kathryn when we're off duty." It was automatic. She'd had to tell him a number of times. "Kathryn then. What's wrong?" She turned, surprised fear showing in her eyes. Tom couldn't help but notice. "I can't tell you if I do I'll be killed. Though considering death would be almost a welcome alternative." Tom looked shocked. He went to touch her shoulder but she flinched away. Then they both woke up.

The next day Kathryn was walking down the corridor when Tom Paris brushed past her deliberately. As he did so he pressed something into her hand. "Meet you in your dreams." With that cryptic remark he walked on past her pretending not to have done anything. She looked down the device was an altered neuro-transmitter. She attached it to her neck behind her hair but didn't activate it. No-one else saw a thing.

It was a relatively normal day. Nothing untoward happened. She turned in early as did Tom. Once in bed she locked the doors with a combination code made up of Borg and Federation encryptions and an algorithm that took eternity to solve as it was constantly changing. She'd also erected two level fifteen security fields from wall to wall. No-one was forcing entry to her quarters tonight. Anyone who tried to beam in would be warned then beamed into space if they didn't give up trying. She knew she was being paranoid but she had every reason to be. After making sure the security arrangements were in place she activated the neuro-transmitter.

She was instantly transported to the surface of a planet. She was in Indianna her home. She instantly relaxed looking around she was a valley she recognized. She had camped there as a girl every summer for a week with her friends it was fifty five kilometres away from her home. Her parents had let her go further a field as she'd got older. She sat down with her back propped against a tree and closed her eyes this dream felt so real. It was good to be home even if it was simulated. Tom appeared next to her both sat there in silence for a minute. Then Tom asked her what was up and she told him. She was hesitant at first but eventually it all just came out the words tumbling from her mouth as they tried to get out. Tom was shocked at what her mystery attacker had put her through. Kathryn couldn't help it she began to cry as she finished the iron grip she'd kept on her emotions broken as she'd told her story. Tom put his arms around her and pulled her close. Letting her cry on his shoulder.

"We'll nail him whoever he is." Tom swore. "See you on the bridge." Kathryn didn't want to leave but reminded herself that this was a dream and she was perfectly safe in her quarters. Then the transmitter de-activated itself and she woke up with damp cheeks and a wet patch on her pillow.

She turned her pillow over and fell asleep. They would nail him.