Born Into Darkness
I've lived in a darkness filled with sorrows. The pain of losing my mother so young, the awkwardness of being a child genius that no one could understand, and so didn't even bother to try understanding. The loneliness as what was left of my family distanced themselves. The tragedies I witnessed during the Gulf War and the unspeakable horrors, sacrifices and losses I've faced since. I can see now that I've spent my whole life in the dark for one reason and one reason alone, so I could see the light. So I could appreciate the light for what it was and so I would recognise it when I found it. I was born into darkness, so I could find the light, her light.
But now that I can see it, her, do I have to courage to touch it? Am I worthy? She is such a pure entity, a beacon of salvation, hope, and love. Am I meant to? Or is it supposed to be an eternal torment, to see your salvation but never be good, honest and brave enough to receive it? Is the world that twisted? Sometimes I think yes, but she gives me the hope to believe that it's not the case this time.
I would give anything to stand with her bathed in the light that she emits. To feel the horrors wash away, and to finally see what it's all been about, what I've been fighting for.
Is it worth the risk? Yes. To feel the warmth of her love and compassion for but a brief moment would be worth all I am and have to give. But I am on the outside looking in, as the waves of her light stop just short of giving me everything I have ever dreamed of.
But just having her near has its bonuses, like the night-light I had as a child. The darkness didn't seem so scary and I could sleep easier. It made me feel like I wasn't alone, that I wouldn't disappear into the night. But sometimes I could see shadows, the ones where I couldn't recognise the shape as being anything from my room and then the fear would return. That is when the light can become a curse, showing me things I never could have seen without it, but offer no protection from the shadows it creates. Not until I step fully within the light and out of the twilight I find myself in, will I be safe. So that's what…
Click, click, click
"Earth to Sam, come in Major!" Janet called as she snapped her fingers to pull Sam from her reverie.
"Huh?" nice, such an intellectual reply thought the blonde as she came hurtling towards the ground, landing with a thud.
"Well, you certainly were away with the fairies, weren't you? Care to share?" Janet enquired, amused as ever by her friend's ability to lose herself completely in her thoughts.
Still trying to focus after having been caught contemplating 'meaning of life' kind of stuff she distantly replied, "dinner." At the confused look upon her friend's delicate features, she continued, "I'm hungry, do you want to get some dinner?"
"Sure," Janet answered, knowing that that was not what Sam was thinking. But, understanding how her friend worked, she decided to go with the flow and let the blonde open up in her own time.
"Meet you at the surface in about 20 minutes?"
"Perfect, I'll just finish up a few things here and meet you up there."
Sam briefly closed her eyes as Janet's smile lit up the room. She wasn't ready to step out of the darkness just yet, but she had 20 minutes to prepare herself for it.
The End.