The first few chapters may seem boring to some of you but please be patient and read them. I'm fed up with stories that have zero explanations to some things so I like giving a lot of detatils. Also I'm bulgarian and if there are some mistakes, I'm sorry, I'm still learning.
Have fun!
15th February. The happiest and the worst day of my life.
I always wanted to have kids. When I was little I can't count how many hours I've been playing with my doll, pretending to be its mother. When I became 14, I started taking care of the babies and toddlers who lived in my orphanage. Sometimes the adults just stopped doing anything and watched me humming to the babies. I was the only one able to calm them down and put them to sleep. I used to dream what my baby would look like.
But that was in the past.
I started having contractions while I was at work. Yes, I wasn't on maternity leave because I needed more money. My friend and colleague, Stacey, called me a cab to the nearest hospital. She couldn't come with me because she had to be live on TV in five minutes.
The ten minute drive seemed like an eternity. I knew that giving birth was painful but gosh, it hurt so damn much! I made it to the hospital in time. Soon I was in a room with a doctor, a midwife and a nurse.
'You're OK. It's fine. You're doing great.' The midwife kept telling me but I was far from OK.
I don't know how much time passed, but finally I heard a baby crying. It was a beautiful baby boy. I was smiling and crying at the same time. But I was still feeling something…
'There's a second baby!' the doctor announced and my eyes widened. I didn't know I was carrying twins!
Nearly one hour passed. The second baby just refused to show up.
'Come on, baby. Mommy is tired. Just come out already.' I whispered and then it happened. This time it was a girl!
'What's your name ma'am?' the nurse asked.
'Karen Jones.' I said the name of my favorite book character.
I was so exhausted that I immediately fell asleep.
A nurse woke me up to feed the twins. She brought them to me and left. I took them both in my arms. They were so beautiful! They started waking up and I saw their eyes. Just like their father's.
When I fed them, they fell asleep again. I got up and dressed in normal clothes. I was ready to leave but I couldn't move. I kept staring at my babies. I had everything I ever wanted and now I was just going to leave them. What choice did I have? I couldn't take them with me. What if their father came back? He'll put their lives in danger and they would never have a normal life. And I want my kids to be happy. I had to leave.
I hugged by babies carefully, trying not to wake them. Tears were streaming down my face. I put them back in their cribs and gently kissed their foreheads. I pulled out a small wooden box out of my bag and put it next to my sleeping baby boy. Maybe when they grow up, they'll open the box. Maybe they'll understand why I did what I did and left them. And I can only pray that they'll forgive me.