I wrote this wayyyy too quickly, it doesn't make any real sense, I listened to a sad but gorgeous song while writing it (Get Up by Barcelona, which the lyrics at the beginning and end of the fic are from), it's depressing as hell, and I am sorry. *scurries away* This was first posted as a submission on tumblr!
Warnings: MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH, potential Thor 2 spoilers
Five days after black and red collide
The motion sickness past, I'll be the first to stand
Behind that weathered door, I thought it would be safest
My head is dizzy now, I thought we'd overcome
We might not make it home tonight
(The device read 1:30)
"Oh Thor." Loki's voice is soft, his eyes bright and piercing. "I was never going to go back to that cell. We both knew that."
Thor felt panic rip through him, hot and intense. His throat constricted, and he could barely speak, let alone breathe. "Loki, what are you…"
"You never could have killed me yourself." He continued as if Thor had never spoken, a small, almost wistful smile painting his pale face. "The things you said in my cell, they were empty threats from a desperate man. Believe me, I know those well."
Thor felt his stomach start to churn, bile rising in his throat, burning. He swallowed it harshly, hands reaching up to press against the impenetrable shimmering green wall that separated them (and what was this force field trapping him? How did it get there? Thor somehow didn't know). They were shaking, and his breathing was erratic and hitching in his dry throat. "What- what are you doing…?"
"Midgaridan technology is much more advanced than I suspected. A device this powerful could eradicate the entire palace, much less an ancient fortress such as this." Loki gestured around him, nimble fingers dancing in the hot, stifling air. "I believe they call it…a bomb? A true weapon of mass destruction." Loki smiled without humour. "It will have no trouble destroying both the dark elves and their army, let alone their fortress and technology. The worlds will be safe, no longer threatened by this darkness."
Thor was suddenly hit with a dizzying realization. "We're in the fortress. We will be killed." He paused, eyes widening as Loki watched it hit him. "You are using all of your magic to shield me from the blast." That's what the force field is, Thor thought, and he nearly gagged.
Loki pursed his lips. "I only have enough magic left to protect one of us." He spoke, voice cracking ever so slightly at the end. "I know my choice."
"But I need you." The words were out of Thor's mouth before he could stop them, hands curling into fists hard enough to draw blood. "I need-"
"You have never needed me." Loki's voice lacked any hurt or anger; he spoke as if it were merely a simple fact of life, eyes drinking Thor in and hands clasping tightly behind his back.
(1:00)
Something in Thor snapped, and he slammed his hands against the force field hard enough to send ripples through it. Loki didn't flinch, but Thor saw his eyes close briefly before opening them again, emerald eyes unreadable.
"I have always needed you!" Thor shouted, voice chopped and ragged and desperate because god no this wasn't happening not Loki please not his baby brother- "I always will need you, you cannot do this!" The sentence ended with a choked sob. "Switch our places, protect yourself, let me die, but you cannot just-" He couldn't continue, vision blurred by scalding hot tears and throat too tight.
(30 seconds)
Something flickered across Loki's face, and the god let out a deep sigh, eyes fixing on the ground briefly. When he spoke next, his voice was barely audible. "Do you remember when we were children, and we'd play by the river?"
Thor's entire frame shuddered as he became numb with the realization there was nothing he could do, but he nodded, voice cracking as he answered. "Of course. Those were some of my favourite times."
Loki looked up at this, and Thor realized for the first time that his brother was trembling. "Do you remember what you said to me the first time we went there?"
Thor nodded vigorously, breathing hard. "I told you…I said that I would cross a thousand galaxies for you." Tears started running down Thor's face, entire body shaking with sobs. "I still mean it, I've never stopped meaning it. And I'm sorry Loki, I'm so sorry that you thought I ever stopped, that I believed I had ever stopped-"
Loki suddenly pressed his hand, which was dotted with crimson, to the force field, and Thor didn't hesitate to press his against it. He could almost believe that they were touching, Loki's always-cold hand brushing his own…
"I know you never stopped. I know that." Loki's voice was soft was more, and other than the trembling, he looked calm. "Why do you think I am doing this?"
(10 seconds)
"Lok- brother." Thor corrected himself, swallowing the fruity taste of vomit that refused to leave his mouth. "I love you. I love you I love you I love you and you can never forget that."
Loki closed his eyes at this, letting out a shaky breath. Despite the blood staining his armour, the gash running down his cheek, the strange way his leg was bent, he looked serene. He looked young.
(5)
Loki opened his eyes and stared right at Thor. "I never will." He replied with utter conviction.
(4)
"Promise?" Thor whispered.
(3)
Loki smiled back at him, and for the first time in what felt like ages it was real. "Always."
(2)
"Brother, I-"
Loki's body was engulfed in flames before he could finish.
(Thor didn't stop screaming for a very long time.)
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(I need you) Get up
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